About to start / Just started TTC no.2 (part 4)

[SwedeAway]

So, here it is, Part 4! May it bring lots of BFP's for those of us still waiting and may it bring happy healthy pregnancies for those who are fabulously pregnant.

That could've been it, Flight. Those cheapies are notorious for being hard to interpret, and if you catch your surge on the way up or down, I'm not sure you'd get a very strong line.

Ignore the room temp bit though!

You've still a chance from Sunday if OV was Tuesday. :-)

And how exciting, Donna. I finish on 18th April, or something like that, I think. :-)

Yey Donna very exciting! Sorry you have to go back Hungry, what will you do with DD do you know yet? Hope you get some sort of resolution and an apology from it all too eventually!
Swede sorry you are feeling down. Try to pick yourself back up though, this cycle isn't a total no-hoper. Just keep dtd as much as you feel you can and we are all hoping for the best for you. How did you end up in SA if you don't mind me asking?
I could do with some lifestyle advice ladies and also somewhere to have a moan. I went back to work today in my main job in an office, I only work there 2 days a week but it takes 45-60minutes to drive there each way. I absolutely hate it, I have been dreading going back as have just had 4 weeks off from it. So I went back today and it was just the same. Boring, soul destroying and confusing! The company and my job has changed so much since I came back from mat leave I'm not entirely sure what my job entails anymore and I don't enjoy in the slightest what I end up doing each day, I feel like I am going backwards and like I am a newbie constantly having to ask what needs doing and what is going on in the general scheme, I suppose this isn't helped by only being there 2 days/week. I had only been hanging onto the job in the hope I would be preggers soon and could leave anyway once I'd taken my mat leave. But I don't think I can keep working there if there is no end in sight. I really missed my daughter today, and if it ends up I don't have anymore children I want to spend this time with her while she is still so young. There aren't many job opportunities in my area, I would like to retrain in a career one day, but DH is currently at college full time as well as working full time, so we don't have any spare time or money for that! Do you think I should leave a job that is depressing me to spend more time with my daughter whilst looking for something I would enjoy more a bit closer to home, or do you think I should just get on with it and appreciate that I at least I do have a job and we can manage financially ok for the time being.....
Sorry for the long post but I was just so fed up when I got home today, and this has been going round in my head for weeks so it would be nice to get an outsiders perspective!!

Flight I agree don't worry about room temp wee with the opks. However with regards to the lines I have to say that I used to faff about trying to decide whether the line was dark enough to be a positive or not, until I got my first real positive - it was very obvious, darker than the control line and came up immediately!

Lucy I really sympathise with you. I too hate my job and had started looking for something else as I just couldn't stand the thought of doing it for another year or more (though now I will stick it out of course until ML at least). If you could get by financially without your salary then I'd say pack it in, it's not worth wasting so much of your life on something that makes you miserable!

I didn't even get a positive OPK the day I got my smiley on the digi, so although you can get a strong positive like Metalhead, don't rely on it happening! They are hit and miss.

Lucy, if you're miserable and can afford it, leave. There really is no point making yourself miserable.

Swede, did you get a smiley? How're you feeling?

Morning Hungry - Nope, no smiley for me this morning:( Dtd last night in any event, it can't hurt I guess... My mind is going crazy at the moment, wondering if I already Ov'd (before I started the opk's that is) but rationality tells me that is impossible. Left ovary is still twinging, this is so very annoying.

Lucy - Trying to stay positive, I guess this is my first cycle after mc so I should expect it to be WTF, right? Deep inside one always hopes to be the one that is super fertile in the first cycle but that obviously does not happen to everyone. Going to continue dtd through the weekend and hope that the smiley appears.

I ended up in SA as I married a South African man. As you can probably tell from my nickname, my nationality is Swedish. I did however move to London in 1998 and stayed there for 12 years (so that's where I met my husband and where I went to University). We moved here when I was 28 weeks pg with DD as we wanted to be closer to family.

Regarding your job. Its horrible to have a job that you hate. My view is though that it is always better to have a job then not (if you need the money that is). Perhaps continuing with your job (as its only 2 days a week) whilst you look for something else? Still, if you want to be home with DD and can afford it, then why not. I am very lucky in the sense that I absolutely love my job, always have. I was home with DD for 5 months when she was born and after about 4 months I was climbing on the walls. I am definitely not 'stay at home mum' material but I take my hat off to anyone who is because that is hard work. Anyway, enough babbling from me this morning.

Hopefully it'll be the biggest, best egg ever once it decides to make an appearance. :-)

I'm sorry it's all gone WTF on you.

Hello, can I join in?? Am currently cycle 2 of TTC#2. DS is nearly15 months.

AF due 9 Feb, but that may change depending on when CBFM and OPKs say i ovulate! Had a bit of a weird first cycle with AF late - just like when we were TTC DS!

Hoping to be pregnant by June. Obviously this month would be great too

Hi swede, I'm sorry that everything is frustrating for you right now. Your mind must be going crazy.

Lucy, I too would be reluctant to sever ties completely with an income, I guess because I've just seen too many cases of it going very wrong. So I would be in the 'look for something closer to home while you're still employed' camp. I completely understand that 'I hate my job and need to get out' feeling though. I really do.

I'm working part-time at the moment and it works for me - like swede I was climbing the walls by 4 months in! That said, I don't love my job at all, but it's fine for now. Even part-time often feels like way too much though... It's a very difficult situation for mothers to be in. The answers aren't clear, and it's so hard to know what to do or feel sometimes.

Hi Zara1984 :)

Welcome Zara.

Lucy I was the same as Swede, climbing the walls by the end of ml (Ds was 4mo when I went back for 2 days). I now work 3 days and even though my job is stressful (teacher) I love it and I need it to keep me sane. DS loves his 2 days of nursery and it's good that he also gets a day with Dh. We could definitely not scrape by if one of us didn't work (low mortgage) and the other one went full time, but neither of us wants that and I woupd go loopy (not sahm material).

I even enjoy the drive to work by myself! Work is my time to be a grown up and I think I would feel quite isolated here without work and all the social contact it gives (expat, do speak language but not easy!).

However, if you really hate it and you can do without it, then I would leave. Life's too short.

Have just been to supermarket and spent twice as much as was planning to! They had my tavourite wine on offer half price and since I'm not ttc for the next month I figured I may as well stock up (lady at checkout must have thought I had a drink problem!). Lots of soft cheese as well as once we're trying I'll lay off.

Morning all. Thanks for your replies, sorry about the mememe post, I was just fed up last night of not being pg and working is just a constant reminder of that.
I can't really afford to not work to be honest. I just feel trapped, having to be away from my DD for 2 days doing something I do not enjoy just feels like a waste of time and a waste of my life!! I will keep looking what else is out there, and keep trying to find a happy resolution. I am now considering becoming a childminder, it will mean I can be at home with my DD and maybe it will put me off the idea of having any more DCs!! Do any of you have any experience of childminders/minding?
What do you do for work Swede? Do you know I hadn't even thought that you were Swedish!! I assumed your name was to do with the vegetable!! Haha, hope that gives you a giggle anyway!! I suppose you must accept that your cycles aren't going to be normal for a while, but hopefully you will catch that post mc fertile period, I know it doesn't happen for everyone, but it does happen for some people. Try not to worry too much about the opks, maybe just stop using them for this month? It will give you one less thing to stress/worry about! What date would you be expecting AF to arrive?
Flight do you use them at the same time everyday? I too struggle with opks, never really got a very strong positive on the ic ones, but when I do get a bit of a line it usually ties in with my fertile period and increased cm. I think I would go with the strongest line you got as an ov indicator, that's what I normally go with, but then I'm not pg yet!!! I bought some from home bargains the other day, which are a bit pricier but I did get a very strong positive on one the other day, they're not smiley ones but they are different to the ic ones. Hope you manage to get your timings right this month anyway!
Hi Zara, welcome. How long did it take you to conceive DS?

Oo cross posts with people! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has this constant dilemna! It's the balance that every mother struggles with I imagine. Claude they are wise words, I know the grown up thing to do would be to just get on with it and appreciate that I have an income, and so many people would kill to have that right now. I think everyday at home with my DD would drive me mad too! I think the perfect balance would be working two days a week doing something I love with people I get on with! Ah we can dream can't we.....

Good job with the Engels!! You've got me thinking I should stock up on brie while I still can.... Do you teach in English language?

Yep, I teach in an international school, so completely in english. Attached to a'normal' school and I used to teach bilingual kids there, so that was all in english too.

LOVE my job atm! (Even though I hate marking)

Is it english literature or language you teach? That sounds like a job I would love to do! I would love to be able to travel the world teaching english as a foreign language. My one glimmer of hope if it ends up I never have any more kids is that this is something I will be able to do with just one DC!

Lucy - Ha ha, that just made my day! It reminds me of a joke someone once told me 'Do you know what vegetarian cannibals eat for dinner? Swedes'. Pretty bad joke.
Anyway, I am a lawyer. Used to practice as a solicitor in England but now I work as a legal manager for a bank. Much better work environment at the bank for sure and I love every minute of it.
Yes I think I must accept that this is a WTF cycle and just wait it out and dtd as scheduled in the meantime. I think what gets to me is that I enjoy keeping track of my cycles (using apps etc) but now that I dont know what is going on (ie when was the real first day of AF, how many days into my cycle am I, when will I Ov) it makes me very frustrated. I am sure once at least something makes an appearance (Ov or AF) I will feel much better.

Suffering from severe heart burn at the moment. Think it was the spicy tomato soup I had for lunch (I mean what idiot has spicy tomato soup for lunch when it is 37 degrees outside). A Swede in Africa possibly:)

Both, but not English as a Second Language (though have done bits and pieces in past).

Sorry to hear things are confusing your end swede.

Lucy we were lucky and I fell pregnant cycle 2 with DS. So given my cycle 1 this time mirrored my weird first one last time, maybe that's a sign! We were relieved and surprised it happened so quickly last time as there is a history of male infertility issues in DH's family.

For anyone interested I will be doing cheapie OPKs with FMU when the CBFM picks up high/peak, to double check what CBFM is saying. Ie pee in a cup and use the same FMU for both.

On the work front - so hard to know if you're doing it right. I am very lucky in that I work 3 days a week in a reasonably interesting job at an NGO. Like Swede I used to be a solicitor, current role much more family friendly. It is sometimes a head case as the sector is chaotic and my job is often about putting out 100 fires at once rather than be intellectually challenging (like when I was a lawyer!). I hadn't planned to come back to the job after mat leave with DS1, and in fact interviewed (but didn't get) for two other, more senior, full-time jobs. But it's actually turned out alright because there were staff changes while I was away and I love my new team. My job is only on contract for another year or so, so god knows what will happen if/when I get pregnant and go on mat leave with #2!!!!

Definitely feeling broody this week as DS has started walking properly.... He's not a baby anymore!!

Hi and welcome Zara!

I've just come home and found my appointment letter for my first scan waiting for me - 28 Jan! Eeek! I also got a booking appt at the nearest hospital on 3 Feb, which is a bit odd, as I thought I'd be having my antenatal care with the local midwives in my town. So not sure whats going on now, whether this is just so they have me on their system at the hospital where I will be giving birth, or whether I'll actually have to traipse over there for every appt. I'll have to ask my friend who lives down the road whether it was the same for her.

Feeling pretty awful again today, so I think the sickness has kicked in properly now!

Metal, it might be like here where you book in at a clinic, then have your appointments at your local surgery (or wherever).

Mrs has her 20 week scan that day and my 12 week is the day before. :-)

My sickness was worse today. Absolutely exhausted too.

Wow, a busy week for scans then! Hopefully it will be good news all round!

And that would make sense re: the booking in, maybe that's what it is.

Yay for the scan dates!

Welcome Zara, I hope the thread is lucky for you.

Swede, I don't know if it helps but I never got a positive on an opk, yet I ovulate regularly every month. I don't know if I was doing it wrong (how hard can it be to POAS?), but please don't be disheartened, you might have just missed it.

On the work topic, I couldn't be a sahm either, i'm not cut out for it I'm afraid. I really admire those that do though, hardest job in the world. I work full time, not by choice but because I'm the main breadwinner and we need my salary. I hope this will change one day, because I would like to retrain and do something different once the children are at school and we're not forking out so much in childcare. I don't hate my job as such (well some days I do), but I'm not happy in my current organisation. I stick it out because I agree with others that its better to look for work when you're already in work. That said, if a job is really unbearable life's too short to stay indefinitely. Lucy I hope you find something nearer to home that makes you happy, it's hard when your role is changed.

lucyjojo I was going to say to stick it out until you find something you enjoy more as it's often easier to get a job when you're already working. I work full time, mostly because I have to for the money - would rather work part time but definitely couldn't do sahm. By the end of mat leave i had a multi worksheet spreadsheet going for our house budget with all sorts of links and formula going on - and that's not even my sort of work! Luckily i mostly enjoy my job and work for a sort of charity.

As for the opk, I've been doing at roughly same time each day - around 7.30pm as I'm out all day. After possible line earlier in week i then had a bit of bleeding period-style yesterday evening, more than just spotting, so who knows wtf is going on. To be fair, were of on a long haul holiday to visit family in march so would be ideal not to be pregnant but then time is running out as said wed only try for a year - and won't 'investigate' if it didn't happen.

Very excited for those of you going for scans soon!

I've been to see GP, bloods were all entirely normal . He said if my cycle continues to be irregular to go back and he would do Ultrasound or refer me to gyne. Now on cd6 so will see how it goes this month.
Glad all the scans are getting sorted. Hope they all go well. I know what you mean about broodiness. DD (2.8) has been potty training for 2 days and is more and more independent every day. She even insists she is a big girl.