You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Red

I lit a candle and said a little prayer for you - all the best of luck and more for today!

Not forgetting the rest of the viroids I'm offering my express cape mending/updating services to all of you for tomorrow night [wink wink] and spreading baby glitter all over you!

Happy Shagging!

Well apparently all is normal for the husbands army of swimmers!
So, I guess it's me.
Fabulous.

minion

that is good and bad at the same time!
(hugs)

Hellooo Viroids, did we all survive the great storm unscathed? It was pretty bad where I live, I was rather frightened, but all ok.

Cookie thanks for reminding us of your backstory, and I'm sorry how could I forget! You've been through a lot. Fantastic, fantastic news that all is ok

Red I think you add a bit of USA glamour to the thread, makes us feel special that you've chosen us over all the US based sites - but I MUST ask, my fellow countrywomen are all, shall we say, horrible bitches to one another. - please elaborate How can they be bitches to each other if they're all TTC? I mean, there are some pretty harsh people on MN, but not in the ttc threads, surely?

I imagined the US sites to be nauseatingly nice, with lots of baby dust, pregnancy tickers, and hunni bunnies... you know, like NetMums.

Minion once again, you and I are cycle buddies... synchronizing through the screen. I think I'll be icing any day now. Trouble is, I'm away tomorrow night... best get it on tonight. I'm planning on EOD too, but I'm on the 'stress free convince yourself you don't really want it to work this month' plan, until I hear about the job I applied for...

Good news about your DH's swimmers, and well done him for getting tested. I'm in the same boat - DP tested normal and logically assume there must be something wrong with me. But I'm reading Zita West, and she's giving me hope that it's just about stress, and timing, and probability as much as anything.

Sending positive vibes to everyone xx

Oh minion, I do know how that feels. We went together to get all our results so that was basically sitting in a room with doc saying he's all fine and I'm all broken. But they still love us and identifying the problem is half the battle. Are yo waiting for tests too?

I did read Zita and I liked it to begin with. Then she got a little weird... I could feel her judging me through the page for not eating organically!

I think one of my friends might frequent Netmums. She's a bit 'babydust' and 'bding' (that's babydancing for those not in the know). I don't think she does shagging, just bding. I do love her but our outlooks are slightly different.

Anyway, had a think yesterday - although i'm not opking or temping etc I am getting medical help and will likely be given drugs in a couple months if we can't get this thing done. Does that mean i'm not a JS-er anymore?!

Oh I fucking hate "BabyDancing".... suggests that sex exists only for procreation, and therefore doing it at any other time of the month / after you've had all the children you want / when you're too young to want any DCs / when you're not ready in your career to have kids when you just have to shag a particular person but would never ever want to have kids with him cos he's a wrongun, but oh so shaggable are all JUST WRONG!!!!

I'm only in the intro on ZWs book, she's going to judge me to hell and back then when I get to the organic foods bit...

Of course you'll be welcome if you're receiving medical help Dulcet, you still have the JSing ethos. Hope it all goes well for you

dulcet we'd all be in non JSing he'll if the criteria was stuck strictly to. I have to have my bloods taken, missed the first one at 3 days as was in Mexico and thought I'd have to wait till the next month to start, however the husband asked doc (without me even mentioning it) if I could do the 21 day first, then the 3 day one next week. All ok, so I'm booked in.

I'm not upset, I still don't know it's me and something is telling me that is been all about my timing and shift work that stopping us. I've taken steps at work to make sure I'm never in a foreign country again whilst the week of magic unicorns and flying pigs gaily trot over a frozen hell, so hopefully, fingers crossed, things may change.

Though it would be nice to see a darker line on my contraband opk.

Baby dancing boak!

If Mr Duck suggested that we "baby dance" I'd slap him one.

I also do a little shudder at other twee phrases though, so it's not just that one that makes me want to wash my ears out with bleach

cosy it's hard to explain, really -- just a lot of nasty attitudes and insinuation that you're dumb if you don't know EVERYTHING already about acronyms, what's happened on the thread since the dawn of time. "Don't ask questions like that here," etc. It's sad, really. They aren't all like that, I have seen lots of helpful woman and friendly threads. But you really have to get lucky to insert yourself into an ongoing conversation without getting totally flamed. I like it here. It's, well, cos/zy! :)

Thanks everyone for all the sweet thoughts, and prayers. It means more than you know. I will let you know as soon as I get the call!

minion don't be down on yourself. When they are able to pinpoint an issue, whether it's male or female, you're well on your way to the solution.

dulcet hey, you all let me stay even though our potential babies were made in a petri dish! Just shagging just happens for fun now :D

Ah, minion just saw your other post. Shift work must make it so difficult! Hopefully as soon as you get the timing right it'll happen quickly.

I, too, hate "baby dance." It kind of grosses me out. There's nothing graceful about it, let's be fair.

Hearing stuff like that always makes me want to be really crude! If someone in real life said that to me I'd probably shout "IT'S CALLED FUCKING" in their face!!

My grandma informed me that babies are made from loving sex, conclusion, I'm not pregnant because we don't have loving sex?!

Indeed. missh, DH and I refer to ov week as fuck week. We bring all the class.

Having silent psychological warfare with a colleague today and got a really nice email which made me cry so someone tell me a joke?

If someone in real life said that to me I'd probably shout "IT'S CALLED FUCKING" in their face!! I love you lot!

I feel like that about 'Aunt Flo' as well. I was so glad to discover ERTD as it's easier to type than "My period". But it sure as hell aint my Aunty.

DP and I call Ov week "Shag week" (or shag fortnight if he's lucky) as opposed to 'Don't touch me because I'm bleeding out me hoohah week and I might punch you week' and 'Oh I really can't be arsed, let's just cuddle till you fall asleep so I can read my book week'

Argh Juniper tell us more about psychological warfare, that sounds horrible. Slag off your colleague to us, we're on your side.

Don't know any jokes, sorry .. I recommend the current thread on Chat about the MNer who has a woman parking outside her house every night for a good laugh though!!

Name: emma2590
Age:23
TTC: Since Sept 2013 - famous for plenty of symptoms but always BFNs, 6 days n counting down until AF
DCs: nope

Ps first post on mumsnet!! :D

OOOOH!!! a new J-ser!! Hello Emma!

ah - I have just noticed that you are 23. I am old enough to be your mother...this has depressed me. Oh well! welcome to our gang. We are rude. Cover your ears and if you aren't sure of anything, come and ask your cyber mummy (that would be me....)

Hiiiii!!

Thnx for makin me feel so welcome already! Im such a noob that theres a lot of scrolling up n down the page to get the lingo!! :p

Haha don't be depressed my new cybermummy. I have a DH so there'll be nothing to cover my ears for!!

Hi Emma welcome. (I'm not far off being old enough to be your Mum either!!)

Don't worry if there's anything you don't understand, just ask. The OP explains most of the unique terminology - I came late to the thread, so I found that quite useful to work out what the hell was going on!

We're a nice bunch here!

I have got to got to do some ironing, but I cannot be arsed. OH is still watching the fecking Olympics. I could stand in front of him nekkid and jiggling my norks I his face but he is more interested in the bloody skeleton bob or whatever the frig it's called.

We are going away for the weekend to do lots of cape wearing right totm. May the stars align and bring me a BFP

I don't think I've ironed in a decade! I hate ironing. If it is wrinkled, tough.

Got the call. One of the embryos stopped growing and the other two need more time, so no fresh transfer tomorrow :( I am hopeful, though, that the other two make it and are frozen tomorrow, and that the genetic testing comes back good on both. Hopefully we can do a frozen transfer cycle next month. More waiting. It's middle of the road news. It could have been, "Sorry they're all dead!" But I am still a bit disappointed.

Welcome, emma!

I've came to the conclusion that tracking is just not for me (after failed attempts).. So I too am 'just shagging' but to be honest, not whole heartedly because I don't know when I should be doing it more often due to by inability to track! So I'm cycle 4, ttc1, 26 years old. And I'd quite like a green glittery cape please :)

red

I'd be disappointed too - waiting is crap

but as you say the others are still progressing, which is good news so fx still crossed.

hib

one brand new glittery green cape is in the post and I included a "Shag me you stud!" t-shirt for you!

Hey cosy its been a journey getting to today. Just hoping this one sticks.

Fx you get your bfp soon. Everyone that is. Good luck red

Welcome to our two newbies! Settle in, get your capes and get prepared to share you intimate stories with us!

Stay hopeful red. Will they update you tomorrow? Every crossed for your lovely little eggs. Except my legs, they will be uncrossed for the beginning of the this months shaggathon!

Yes dulcet fully acceptable and expected for you to keep those legs uncrossed! They'll give me an update tomorrow. I'm traveling a week in March on business with a girls' weekend tacked on, so I am going to have to work around that, but I'm hoping I can schedule a transfer for next month regardless. I just want to keep moving.