You can do it by charting, analysing, testing, and worrying, but we prefer... JUST SHAGGING PART 20!!

[Nessalina]

Ladies, Fred title says it all; we are the ones who shag as much as our men can cope with in order to get upduffed without the stress of scientific whatnots!

Fred rules (copied from previous Fred)

1. Thou shalt shag as much as humanly possible in order to get upduffed.
2. Thou shalt not partake of OPKs, temping, or charting.
3. Thou shalt keep symptom spotting to a minimum.
4. Thou shalt share with your fredmates where needed.

JSing lingo

ERTD = Evil Red Tide of Dooooooommmmmmm. Or AF to most others.

Viroid = This is you, dear poster. This is from the first JS thread when someone tried to type 'ladies' and it autocorrected to 'Viroids' - so there you go!

Pant snot = Egg white cervical mucus.

Doing a kitten = Getting upduffed soon after joining (warning: may induce envy in other posters).

POAS = Pee On A Stick (of the pregnancy detecting kind, not from a tree). Also known as PIAR (Pee In A Ramekin - cos we're posh birds innit). Or PIATLH (Tea light holder) PIAWG (Wine glass) or anything else you care to pee in!

Shagging like something = JSing like a teenage nymphomaniac.

Giving a hooya = Giving a much needed slap to a fellow poster in danger of slipping into ttc obsession.

Contraband = Of COURSE none of us EVER partake of any silly OPKs or temp charting. They are Contraband.

Icing = ovulating. Another autocorrect development!

Getting your Cape on = planning some serious pouncing on DH/DP

TWOT - Two Weeks of Torture!

The link to Part 19 is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1906908-Come-and-join-us-on-the-brand-new-rather-fabulous-and-very-slightly-notorious-or-so-wed-like-to-think-JUST-SHAGGING-PART-19" target="_blank">here</a>

The current Grads Fred is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1817751-Just-Shagging-Grads-Fred-8-Roll-up-roll-up-all-Viroids-welcome" target="_blank">here</a>

The rather nobbish article in which we became a little bit notorious is <a class="break-all" href="http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/the-dark-side-of-mumsnet-my-shocking-tour-of-the-websites-nether-regions-8905055.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here</a> <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Grin" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/grin-D7Eg_B6y.png">

Happy shagging shaggers!

Dammit. ERTD is here. Bollocks.
On the plus side, it's spot on it's expected day, so my cycles have definitely levelled out. Ugh. It's a very little plus side though!

Sorry she showed up Nessa. Xx I wish mine would !
I now have no idea how I'm gonna have those blood tests with no bloody period !
Had no sleep as DH got in at 4 and couldn't sleep and up at 6 zzzz.
Big argument as he hates going out and won't stay up for me! I'll be so grumpy later!

Oh shitsticks Nessa, I had high hopes for you. It is reassuring that your cycle was spot on though, that's a good thing.

Beetle - could you be pg? What's going on with your missing ertd?

I'm confused, I had a tiny bit of fresh blood spotting on CD23 & 24. But so far nothing today (CD25). My cycle is usually 27-28 days but has been known to be a bit shorter. Usually, when ERTD hits, it hits hard and fast with cramps and everything. I've had no other period symptoms. BUT, I got my hopes up about spotting before, convinced myself it was IB, and it wasn't... so I'm trying not to get too hopeful.

I just want to go to sleep and wake up in a week's time and then I'd know for sure. aaargh.

I think it's them there pesky sperms!!!!!!
They make things go all weird !
Cosy I am late tues was due date but took test yesterday a super duper one and nothing and have no symptoms but odd period pain now and again x

for nessa, fx for cosy and beetle

I am a bad jser. CD 15 here and only DTD twice. I think the looming drs phone call has turned us both off! will be glad when they phone tomorrow and we know what's going on!

Sorry nessa, a damn shame. Hope you've done something to treat yourself.

Sounds confusing cosy, do you get spotting at times before or not really? Not long til you find out at least!

Good luck tomorrow lil, is there a set time for the results?

"after lunch before 3" is as specific as we got

fx for you Beetle sounds encouraging...

Yeah the spotting is confusing indeed. I have had spotting a couple of other times, but it was always brown CM a few days before ERTD, which then quickly lead on to the full whammy.

This time I'm getting a tiny bit of fresh red blood & CM 4-5 days before ERTD is due, just a couple of times when I wipe per day. Had nothing all day today until just now, more pinky CM and fresh blood. I spose I just need to wait and see if it turns into the full witch or not.... if it doesn't, much excitement! If it DOES, then I'll chalk it down to yet another new thing that my body can do to piss me off!!!

Another thing I've learned - don't ask Dr Goofle for images of 'implantation bleeding'. 1. There are people mad enough to upload photos of what they've just wiped out of their fanjo. Nice. 2. The search also throws up photos of jaw implants bleeding. Nicer.

And fingers crossed for you for tomorrow Lil hope it goes well

Age: 36

DC : 2 - 15 and 2

ttc#3 since march 2012

With breaks - tried cbfm - no good - ov sticks no help - temping gives a heads up of af coming...
no medical int -as yet

I mean 2013

Welcomezoe! Join the madness, may your time with us be short but fun!

Just to give you a taste for how unsavory out fred can get, I am going to ask a slightly dodgy question! Does anyone experience differences with CM if they run/exercise around ov time?

Got my second 21 day test tomorrow. Got to leave work early to get to the clinic though so people better not annoy me and get in my way!

hi Zoe welcome.

good luck for tomorrow dulcet

so the results are in. he has plenty of them, count of 60million, but normal morphology was 4% and motility 3% so those are low the Dr says. but Dr Google has confused us and we feel no further forward. what were other people told were "normal" ranges? next stage is his repeat test in a couple of weeks time

dulcet when I was doing lots of running I got zero ov signs at all. I think there's advice out there to stop running if you're TTC, but obviously there's advice to stop doing everything and Ennis & Radcliffe managed it so...

lil I can't help on advice but if you're worrying, don't forget that Zita says you can do a lot to help improve sperm if you need to.

CD15 and horrible crampy tummy tonight, hoping I'm not getting food poisoning been eating out of date food which I really shouldn't. Also, can I have a small rant? Why does my ov have to shift around so much?! Last cycle it was really late and we missed it by JSing too soon and were knackered by the time it happened. This cycle it's the opposite problem - realised we should've been JSing last four days and now it's more or less all over. Hoping the acupuncture will help sort some of this out.

Being a grown up and having my smear test tomorrow, wish me luck!

Hi newbies!

thanks juniper maybe I should go and invest in zita! reading contradictory things on whether it can be improved or not. I know what u mean about ov bouncing around! I've been as early as cd16 and as late as cd32 before, although luckily more like cd22 latest theses days so the windows smaller! just shag the whole month through!

lil It might be worth a read and see if your DH would benefit from any of the suggestions. It's stuff like not drinking, smoking, losing weight, upping zinc. I do feel a bit about a lot of the TTC advice when some people seem to get knocked up by simply breathing but I guess it can't hurt.

The ov thing is driving me mad, tbh, as it seems to swing back and forth for each cycle. So over Xmas when I actually had time to feel relaxed and "in the mood" it was super late and we were too knackered to carry on. This month we're knackered anyway from work so targetting it would be preferable and now we're too late. Not sure whether to bother going for the magic 10 or now. Hey ho!

Hello all! First: beetle, that is just shit the way they made you feel at your appointment. I agree with bear re: taking a mental health day when you need it. As a manager, I actually encourage my staff to use their sick time in that way and not feel guilty for it. Give yourself some you time. Once testing is underway, hopefully you'll have a better sense of what's going on. Hang in there!

lil different clinics use different scales and methodologies so what's considered "normal" can vary pretty widely. I know my clinic wants to see at least 4% morphology. My husband's was close to 0% on his initial and follow up (hence our IVF journey). But that's just us; sometimes the follow up test gives far different results so don't worry too much yet!

Sorry for ERTD nessa :(

Fingers crossed cosy!

Things are chugging along here. I just have this uneasy feeling that my cycle isn't going as well as the last one (not that my five eggs were even all that impressive last time). Got the not-so-reassuring "Well they are growing...that's good" from the doctor on ultrasound duty this a.m. I have another round of blood work and ultrasound tomorrow morning so we'll see....

Hi all,

Well I'm out. The previously unheard of pink spotting that I convinced myself was IB was just spotting. ERTD turned up today. I'm seriously deflated and pissed off.

Lil I found these stats for you:

The World Health Organisation provides a definition of a 'normal' sperm count:
the concentration of spermatozoa should be at least 20 million per ml
the total volume of semen should be at least 2ml
the total number of spermatozoa in the ejaculate should be at least 40 million
at least 75 per cent of the spermatozoa should be alive (it is normal for up to 25 per cent to be dead)
at least 30 per cent of the spermatozoa should be of normal shape and form
at least 25 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming with rapid forward movement
at least 50 per cent of the spermatozoa should be swimming forward, even if only sluggishly.

Red fingers firmly crossed for you, keep us updated.

Good luck with your test Dulcet - looks like I'll be having mine done in 21 days too. Need to figure out what the hell is going on.

OK, I've decided that each failed cycle is an opportunity to try something new the next time. I tried JSing every day for 9 exhausting days, and eating pineapple core for 5 days after ov last time. I might do the pineapple again because it was nice.

This time - I'll have a look at Zita. Sounds interesting. and I'm going to buy a bbt to figure out when the hell i actually ov

Sorry you're out cosy, hope you aren't too down. Liking your positive thinking for next cycle though!

Can't help much with the stats lil, I heard all the words and numbers during my appointment but didn't really take it all in. And numbers don't seem to match whatever is found online. DH will probably remember but can't ask him or I'd have to say some strange ladies on the Internet want to know.

Thanks for the Zita news juniper. I don't really intend to give up as I don't do anything stupidly heavy but for me it's excess rather than lack of! Odd!

For what it's worth Lil remember that sperm count can change. Make the lifestyle changes your DH needs, get him on some zinc supplements and a good diet, and see what happens in a few months time.

I have total respect for you viroids who go to the effort of changing diet and stuff - I'm so lazy, can't it just happen?!
ERTD was living up to it's name today, I feel literally drained!! Ugh. Had a barny with DH about TTC last night coz he's been very lukewarm and passive about the whole thing, so I'm hoping he's going to make a bit more effort this month...
Good luck to all that need it xx

Ooh, extra special good luck to you Red - go go ovaries!
I also agree with Bear, I think headspace is a good idea sometimes, but unfortunately sick leave is definitely not encouraged in the UK! In my company three unconnected days can lead to a disciplinary I think it works differently in the US, you get 'personal days' in your contract don't you? To use when you need?

Thanks - me too - and to you :))

thanks girls. I know it could all turn on its head next test but there really is nothing he can change. he doesn't drink alcohol, ever, hasn't for about 10 years. he has never smoked. we generally eat very well and have made even more effort since ttc and particularly stepped it up in the last 6 months or so. he's lost weight to get his bmi down and we eat as much organic as we can get in the local supermarket. he HSS the Wellman vitamins and has done for ages, although he could be better at remembering to take them, but couldn't we all! the only thing we aren't great at is exercise, but surely sex counts! so I guess I feel a bit pissed off that we are already doing all the right things and its still a bad result. I Jean Christ if its that low now I dread to think what it was when we were eating badly a few years back.

sorry mammoth post, I will try and cheer up and move on now, no more to he done for 2 weeks except shag and pray!

sorry ertd showed cosy have some and x

red think positive eggy thoughts :) fx for you x

Tight pants Lil and hot baths are bad for swimmers.

Also, good for swimmers are Brazil nuts, Avocados, Sweet Potato, and fish.

Don't lose hope.

And yes, I have had wine. And lots of tea, I figured the caffeine can't do any harm today!