Um hello, newbie, ttc, needing a place to talk to people :)

[Fruityb]

I've been reading the site for ages but decided to sign up as need an outlet and place to talk as ttc is quite secret and it's not something I have loads of people I could talk about it with. Plus I'm quite shy and my ovaries aren't something to bring up at social gatherings!
I'm 31, came off pill in October and me and boyfriend have been ttc since. I didn't know how long it would take to get back to normal as had been on pill for eleven years. Turns out it took four weeks, and am now on third AF since coming off, so annoyingly normal in one way! I'm getting my head round all this tracking stuff but don't want it all to get clinical with the fella as it takes the fun away!
So just wanted to say hi and hopefully share in people's stories. It's not all as straightforward as I always thought, and I'm always the one that would start panicking something was wrong with me. I'm pleased I found somewhere I can just write it down if nothing else.
So, hi, and hopefully can take some good advice away.

Still no AF, cycle 2. First month off the pill (not trying) cycle was 31 days. Second month, 28 days. Now on day 30 of the 3rd month.

Spoke to DH and he said if AF hadn't started today then I can get some tests to use tomorrow so I know if I can actually drink in the pub tomorrow night

I'm getting lots of cramps - just slight, dull ones but I do feel like AF might make an appearance today or tomorrow.

Where's everyone from? Seems like we're all in limbo one way or another so something else to think about! :-)

Hampshire, KGB...you?

I caved and tested tonight. BFN. Now thoroughly fed up.

Hey again ladies, it's Helen87!! Decided to change my username. I decided to have a little look at how you were all getting on before and felt really bad when you were wondering how I was getting on so thought I would update you!!

Still no sign of AF and last bfn was Wednesday! Took a test that morning because I had a doctors appointment that day so thought I needed to be as up to date as possible. To cut a long story short, she said it was perfectly normal to have irregular periods, especially when coming off the pill. But it was a good sign that I had had some periods so it was probably just going to take time to settle down. I'm having some blood tests tomorrow to make sure that everything is ok though. Me and DH have decided that we're going to stop the intense trying and just 'not stop it!' If that makes sense. Doctor said just to test intermittently from 5 weeks after last period. One thing I've learnt from this cycle is to never think you're pregnant until the test is positive! It's a horrible place to fall from! We've agreed that we'll just carry on with life as normal until that point as well. I'm really enjoying getting back to having a few glasses of wine again :)

Hope the limbo ends for you all and you get your bfps soon :) xx

Great to see you H! I've just entered limbo land. I like your stance on it... DH has said we'll take it more seriously from next month which is great but I want to chill out a bit too.

Tonight though, I'm off for a cry. I wasted a FRER and upset myself all in one go!

Hope AF or a BFP arrives for you really soon!

Hazel- I wasted a FRer and about 3 ICs as well and I was so miserable. I even managed to make DH really miserable too and he's usually very relaxed. I cried my eyes out the other morning. And that's what made me realise it's really not good letting yourself get so wound up over it. The doctor gave me the old "the more stress you're under, the less likely you are to conceive" talk. So trying to be more relaxed is self preservation above everything else!! I've also booked in for various massages and spa days and nights out etc, to try and have a good time to take my mind off things!

I think AF will be here next week and then it'll be time to start again with my new attitude. Hopefully I'll manage to keep a more positive approach. The feeling of getting a bfn when you think it's going to be a BFP is beyond depressing. Hope you're ok and you get your BFP soon :) xx

Hi helen!! Sorry its not better news but good to hear uve got a good doctor. Dh said to me not to stop the things I like such as wine until we know we're pg. We also didn't ttc at first, more did nothing to stop it-its great having no real pressure

In Leics hazel.

Ive told a friend we're ttc. She already has 4 kids! It's been nice telling her bits. I always thought id keep it secret but just kinda came out!!

I tested again this morning and again a BFN so now I'm just waiting for AF to arrive.

I'm ridiculously upset to be honest but DH is being amazing. We've got a plan for next month but I've got this overwhelming feeling that it's just not going to happen for us.

I'm really quite stressed at the moment (not TTC stuff) and I really need to chill out. DH is talking about booking a weekend away which I think we both need. I'm going to use next month to start getting fit and eating better, for my body and mind.

I told a friend (in confidence) who told a friend who told a friend and now far too many people know and they keep asking me if I'm pregnant yet which is actually upsetting me quite a lot. Next time they ask I'm going to say we've put it on hold because I don't need the constant questioning.

I'm on CD31 today so hoping AF arrives sooner rather than later. I'd really hoped my cycles had settled into a nice routine but maybe not!

I really hope our BFPs turn up soon xxx

Morning everyone,

Sorry you feel like that Hazel. It's so rubbish but it does look like stress affects TTC and cycles as well. I think DH's idea to get away for the weekend is a really good idea. I'm off to the countryside for the week next week and I'm hoping that it sorts me right out.

That's really harsh that it seems to have spread about really fast. I ended up telling my Mum last week because I was so down. But this week I've said we're just going to take it easy a bit until my cycles come back to normal. It does add extra pressure if people are asking you all the time, but it's nice to have someone to talk to if you need it.

Have you not been off the pill long either Hazel?

Misskgb- yeah we are still going to dtd 2-3 times a week (doctor's advice) but hopefully not get stressed out about it. I do wish that AF would hurry up and show up though so we can start a new cycle. I just know she's going to show up next week when I'm off work!

Took my last pill in November, H. I've had a cycle of 31 days, 28 and now I'm on CD31 again. I'm hoping AF arrives today and I was just a bit premature with the whole testing thing!

I was surprised by how disappointed DH was yesterday. It's taken a long time for him to be ready but now he's ready, I think he just wants it to happen. I'm trying really hard to be positive about it all but it does get you down! DH has said he'll do a sperm test if nothing by April which surprised me as I hadn't asked him to.

I need to readjust my mindset for next month I think. 2 months of trying (didn't try in December) and 2 months of heartache. I can't go on like this so it's back to remembering it's early days and there's plenty of time.

My DSIL knows and I can talk to her if I need to. The others don't have children though and therefore can't offer much advice really and they don't care enough to listen.

It's stupid but if I'd fallen pregnant last month, I could have told my mum on mothers day. This month, I could have told her on her birthday. I had ideas for both. Daft, really!

I asked DH if he wanted to stop trying next month as it'd be a December baby (I'm a December birthday) and he said no, it was silly to stop for a month or two when we're only just starting out. He also said, "oh well, more sex next month then " I replied with "No, just sex at the right times"

Some friends are going away this weekend for 2 weeks and they can be quite overbearing so we're both really looking forward to the break from them, I think that will chill us out quite a lot.

A week in the countryside sounds lovely, H!

Last time we dtd dh said 'hope those swimmers get thru' I was like 'wrong time hun' n he questionned why we'd done it! He's funny sometimes. In London niw n no sign of af so get to have some fun! :-)

Great to see you back Helen. Thanks for sharing your docs advice I think this is good for all of us.

Hazel, anyone who I know who is pregnant or been pregnant have tried way more than 2 cycles. Stress can really stop conception. Stress can stop people from ovulating and brings on periods or completely stops them. Last year I was diagnosed with work related stress (which was a complete surprise). Only found out as went to docs as had 2 periods in one month and a few more symptoms that I was not aware of. It really does take time. I only know of my sister who conceived on her first cycle (during her honeymoon) I put that down to her being so relaxed and so happy.

We booked a weekend away for next weekend. We never do anything spontaneous. We have also arranged a date night one night a week. Not for ttc purposes but just to make time for each other.

I felt really down when AF arrived and can't believe how different I feel now. I think I just have to get used to ups and down of ttc. The down being the tww and when AF arrives.

This cycle I am trying opk's and starting to take preconception pregnacare tablets. Oh and a more conscious effort on healthy eating, have been eating bad food during AF days - naughty.

Happy weekend ladies
X

Sooooo-due on yday n still no sign. First time I've been late. Felt sick for days. Not getting my hopes up but thinking positive (even if it does scare me!)

Fx for you Misskgb xx

Ooh fingers cross misskgb. When are you going to test?

So sorry you're stuck in no man's land Helen :( :(

I think doc's advice about just having sex a few times a week and trying (easier said than done!) to not focus on it too much is a good one. Also I really really wouldn't worry about having a few glasses of wine etc. Most people I know in real life (mumsnet is a bit a select group!) wouldn't give up drinking until they have a BFP, me included!

Dh suggested tues (think he just plucked a day out of thin air) but I might try to do one later as kinda just wanna know! !

Thanks weebairn. Is it pretty crap. Today is CD45. Yeah I'm just carrying on drinking my wine and waiting (not so)patiently!! Absolutely no sign of AF at all and really don't think she's on her way at all. Unless of course I get the weird version of AF that I got when I first came off the pill. This might sound mad but I almost hope the blood tests show up with something that can be easily treated because it's going to be pretty grim if it's like this for the foreseeable.

Ooh misskgb, I am so excited for you. It must be your turn this month. If you don't test before I go away I am seriously hoping I come back to biggest fattest positive for you :)

When u going away? X

Tomorrow!x

Its very faint but checked with dh n def looks like theres a line! Eeeeek!!

Oh wow misskgb that's great news

Okay, so I tested this morning with a clear blue plus and there was the faintest of FAINTEST lines - and thin as well! It was barely there!! I'm so scared that I'm either imagining it or it's a evaporation line. Quite a lot of cramping as well so imagining allsorts... Chemical pregnancy, ectopic... I never dreamed TTC would be so emotionally draining! Anyway I will test again in the morning with a first response. Trying not to get my hopes up, the line was sooooooooooo faint (aaaand breathe)

And welcome back Helen glad you're okay, I hope you have a lovely relaxing holiday

Wow Misskgb and lady million, how exciting?? Eek so happy for you guys xx

Ahh thanks lolly but I don't dare even let myself think it could be a BFP yet! Sooooo scared of being wrong and feeling that heavy disappointment! I will of course keep you all informed of any news (good or bad haha)