Eggcellent Egg Buddies - a thread for those IVFing in November, December and January

[eurochick]

New thread. Welcome back to all the regulars. Welcome to all the newbies - please come and join us if you are IVFing or thinking about. The regulars are a mine of information at this point!

Do you realise that this will take us through a year of egg buddy threads? I believe Karbea started the last one around Xmas time last year for those cycling in 2013 and I immediately jumped on it as I was about to start my first cycle in January. Blimey.

beetle I see you are finding writing helping - please feel free to PM me if you need too.

Fish.x

beetle I'm so sorry, sending you and DH lots of love. I was wondering how you were getting on just recently so I'm so sad to hear your news. Take your time processing this, and come back and join us when you're ready. Sending you a hug.

Beetle - am SO sorry to hear your awful news. Life is so cruel sometimes. X

beetle I am so, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. You can post here in whichever way works for you.

I fully understand your wish to push ahead with FET. All I wanted after my mc was to be pregnant again, and we cycled in June after I mc'd in March. I have to say though, that with hindsight, I don't think I fully felt like myself again for about 6 months after the mc. I didn't realise at the time how much it physically (and mentally) knocked me for six.

choc yep, first injection was last night. 150 units of gonal f. I'll be adding in cetrotide later, so the same 2 drugs I used in my "natural modified" cycle back in the summer. I'm just starting earlier this time.

Hurrah for donor EC! So transfer in a few days then?

Fab how are you doing today?

This thread is such an emotional rollercoaster with incredible highs and lows.

Beetle I'm delurking to say how terribly sorry I am to hear your news XX

Bugger depression, or you could just be going through an incredibly stressful and difficult time, and considering what you're going through maybe it's hard to find happiness. I was a complete mess just a month ago before we moved, I really don't think DP knew what hit him when he came home from work and I burst into tears because the stress was just so much. You've got at least 3 of the top ten most stressful things (moving house, serious illness of a parent, and I'm sure TTC/IVF MUST be in the top 10!) on your plate at the moment, give yourself a break!

bugs it's quite possible. You know I have been talking about feeling better the past few weeks? i think I might have been mildly depressed throughout most of ttc, and I'm just emerging from that now. It's so incredibly difficult, not to be able to have what you want most in the world.

I can already tell you it's fine - it's the same as I was on back in June and other than menkulling about when was best for egg collection (as a couple of follies grew much more quickly than the others) I found it easy.

Beetle I am gutted to hear of your loss. After going through so much, to then be hit with a case of bad luck is incredibly cruel & unjust. Sending huge hugs xx

bugs this battle against infertility (I chose that word deliberately) tests the strongest of characters. It has the ability to suck the very life out of you & I wouldn't mind betting that every single person on here has experienced the feelings you are describing at one stage or another. Having all the other issues that life is throwing at you at the minute is definitely enough to tip you over the edge. Go easy on yourself. Spoil yourself & DH rotten as often as you can. Use us to sound off. We are all here for one another no matter what. Hugs x

Evening everyone and thank you so much for your kind words. We are doing ok here and certainly being up here with my sisters and Mum and not having had to worry about work and hurtling up and down the motorway every weekend and all that bollocks has really helped with my mental attitude throughout it all.

Beetle, I'm so so terribly sorry to hear your sad news. How utterly devastating it must have been and I can completely understand your need to start thinking about it all again but I would say do please try to give your mind and body some time to heal and grieve after this. Easy for me to say of course as I haven't been through what you have but do have a think about it. As everyone has said, you need to be kind to you and Mr Beetle now.

Bugs, have you had any counselling or tried hypnotherapy at all? Zita West has resident hypnotherapists who are specialise in our particular problems and even if you can't get up to London (I'm afraid I can't remember where you are based) it's worth a t'interweb exploration as it can really help to find a way forward and remember how to be positive again. I've done it a few times over the years and have had nothing but positive experiences. The first time I went I was in a pretty deep dark place and the hypnotherapist said that for the first session his biggest priority was for me to walk out with a little bit of happiness and a good night's sleep and I felt blissful after what felt like 10mins under but was ,according to my watch, 45 mins! Since then, on the odd occasion that I feel like I'm drifting there again, I go for another couple of sessions and it's amazing how it can just turn the corner and help change my attitude again and find a new way of dealing with things. I would definitely think it is worth it, despite it being obvious woo territory! I naively thought (as I'm sure we all did) that this ivf journey couldn't be as bad as people go on about but of course it is and coupled with the rest of life being an obstinate bastard it's not surprising we feel mangled by it all. You don't have to do it alone lovely

Chocs - excited for you lovely

Euro - well done on starting again - good luck with this cycle!

beetle honey, so sorry again to hear your devastating news, I really can't imagine how you're coping - you're an inspiration Xx

fab thinking of you and glad you're able to spend some quality time with your family.

bugs sorry you're feeling low- TTC and IVF are a tough old business and there is no right or wrong way to deal with it all, I think it's just a matter of what works for the individual to try and rationalise it all. Acupuncture is what helps me to talk things through and to try and find some inner peace and relaxation. It's a horrible thing when you just don't feel right in yourself

Glad the drugs are going ok euro

AFM, our donor had 13 eggs collected today and now waiting for the dreaded fertilisation call tomorrow morning -eeek!

Beetle I'm heartbroken to hear your news. I'm so very sorry. You sound so strong. Thinking of you, your DH and your little twins xxx

Bugs ive been so depressed at times during ttc and had such dark thoughts. You are not alone! It sounds like you've got a lot going on at the moment. I hope you start to feel better soon. I wish I knew some way to feel better. The only thing that helps me is to keep busy so the time passes quickly while waiting for appointments and treatments.

Choco wow 13 eggs is fantastic. Fingers crossed for tomorrow x

Sorry if I've missed anything, I've only skimmed through. Hopefully catch up with everyone on Friday when I've got a day off

Fab thinking of you at this time. It sounds as peaceful and as close as it could have been.

Bunny we had ICSI with our IVF this time and will in Jan but not for sperm issues but because we are having PGS and you need a clearer genetic sample - with IVF you get stragglers hanging on to the outside of a fertilised egg.

Choco -fabulous donation news!

Beetle - I am so, so sorry to hear about your twins. I too cycled as soon as I could after my miscarriage. With hindsight I think it made the cycle much tougher physically and emotionally. Not sure I could have waited though. My thought are with you and your DH.

Woo hoo choco! Fabulous thirteen! Looking forward to your update tomorrow

Hey all,

brooker I agree. I don't know how I have survived the past few years to be honest. But I was talking with a lady who had a stillbirth 35 years ago and she said the same thing in a questioning way - how did I get through that? We under estimate our strength I think.

bugs you need to accept that you have a mountain of stressful situations at present, it made things easier for me when I accepted that as it stopped me from striving to be strong rather than dealing with the issues.

I do think acupuncture has calmed me down. I am still uncharacteristically zen. I am also reading a book called 'fuck it therapy - the profane way to profound happiness' it's helping.

beetle I am very glad you got answers it is better than to not know I guess, but no less traumatic. Re starting again, whatever is right for you.

AFM: well, I guess the BFP is still sinking in. I'm waiting to see what happens. I am 4 weeks, scan is on the 12th. But I cannot help but feel that I gave positive tests while my baby had died last time. I think I'm in denial as it all feels strange and I don't give it much thought. I think I'm just waiting

I an zen though, so I'm not complaining! No symptoms that I can tell, few waves of nausea which has calmed down. Though I did cry yesterday at the thought of watching lesmis (2012)

You know the bit where the priest forgives Jackman for stealing the silver? I wasn't even watching the fucker I just thought about it.
And now I've tears streaming down my face again

How was the fertilisation call, choc?

fish that sounds really hard. I think I will be exactly the same if I ever see another BFP.

beetle I'm glad you got some answers. I hope these will help you come to terms with your loss, and grieve.

AFM, I can feel my ovaries doing something. I normally feel a few twinges this early on but these are stronger than usual. First scan tomorrow. Hopefully something will be happening, but it's only day 5 so I'm not expecting to see much.

euro thats's a great sign - I don't think 5 days is that early, the ovaries have awoken! Are you eating lots of protein? Though I do wonder if I am over fixated on the protein...

choco apologises I forgot to wish you well on the eggs - that's a good haul and I look forward to hearing the number of embryos as well.

And me - infertility takes the pleasure out of ttc/conception/pregnancy I reckon. I probably over think a lot of this but I am enjoying feeling detached while I have a huge sense of guilt that I am not properly celebrating these frostie(s) that are currently with me. Every hour or so I suddenly think - I'm pregnant and it feels like I've just found out. Maybe I'm in shock.

I hope I'm not upsetting anyone but being frank - I imagine most of us do/will feel this way especially after a mc. I think I'll stop posting about this as its not appropriate really.

I think as always - why couldn't I just have had a drunken shag. Ten mins, all it should have taken is ten minutes

How does anyone ever read and understand my posts! I do apologise for not reviewing them for typos. Can I assure you that I am fairly well educated and generally can spell (though I admit I am not hot on grammar).

Its the bastard touchscreen and predictive apple thingy that leads 'by being frank' to become 'but being frank' which has a completely different insinuation.

I need to stop being lazy and read my shit back

P.s I read this slowly word for word and thingy is completely acceptable to me.

And apologises? Wtf -apologies.

Hi all,

Congratulations fish. It's not at all inappropriate to post here about your hopes and fears. We're all in this together. Having had 2 early losses I completely understand. Keep sharing on here.

euro glad you feel that things are happening, fingers crossed for scan tomorrow.

AFM, not sure how to feel about the fertilisation call.. out of the 13 eggs collected yesterday, 7 were mature and injected and 4 have fertilised. The embryologist said that the number of immature eggs collected was a little higher than expected, but she's happy enough with the 4. We won't get a phone call

I agree with choc. Quite a few of us have had losses, so we understand. I tried to move to the AN boards when I was PG but didn't really feel ready, so the old conception threads were like a safety blanket for me. Post as much as you need to.

Choc, it's a shame about the immature eggs. It sounds like they didn't time EC optimally. 4 is a good number though. When are you expecting ET?

beetle I think we only me briefly before, but your news really hit me. I am so so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you are getting answers but why does life have to be so unfair? Thinking of you and Mr Beetle.