Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Haha!! Sundance I love that! The voice of reason finished with a luscious 'shit Christmas gift'!! Brilliant!! Haha

Fb is the hardest place ever to be isn't it, scan pictures and baby pictures everywhere.
The hardest thing I've dealt with in the last week was a male colleague who came back off his 2 weeks paternity. I sit opposite him, He knows about MC but still spends the whole day winging about how tired he is and how he hasn't slept etc and even went to the extreme of calling his newborn a 'little shit' and 'the devil child'. After a day of that I had to say something. It was along the lines of 'You ought to think yourself lucky! Some people would do anything to be in your situation'. When really I wanted to punch him. I need my job so managed to control myself.

As predicted AF caught up with me yesterday so I've spent the last 24 hours rebelling drinking strong coffee and disaronno. Here's to next month, cheers
Hoping others are luckier with BFP's this month, good luck ladies

my sister had a mc while I was pg with DD. She still came to stay with me for a couple of weeks when DD was born 6 months later (we live in different countries) - and i'm ashamed to say that I didn't mention her mc at all. I was aware of it though, and knew that it must be hard for her. But what could i say? Also I have to admit that I didn't REALLY know how hard it must have been, but I do now.

So, sundance maybe cut your SIL some slack - perhaps she doesn't know what to say, and so just wants to try and act normal. Also having not been in your position she won't realise quite how hard it is for you.

CD11 here, so we really should be starting dtd fest. trying to muster the enthusiasm.

Hi

Hope everyone had a good weekend. FF has now got me down as having ovulated on Thursday, which was cd51. Not really sure how accurate that is, because I only just realised you can put OPK info in so I put in the ones I had Thurs and Fri. Today and yesterday they are back to negative.
Temps probably aren't accurate as I take them later on the weekends. But we shall see. It would technically be around the right time to OV on my 35 day cycle, perhaps a bit early. So I'm looking at between 8-12 november to get AF if she deigns to turn up. I think I shall also be POAS most fridays whilst I'm in this odd cycle, I'm not too hopeful but if I did get a BFP then I'd be able to work back a bit in terms of dating as LMP date obviously wouldn't be right.

Sounds confusing nerdy-I never got into FF. Hope it all settles down soon for you.

My sister's clearly trying her hardest not to rub it in-other than the aforementioned tactless comments, she's being really low key about how ill she feels. It's really impossible for her to say the right thing I suppose. It's hard though-lovely seeing her, but hanging out with her and my 2yo niece at the playground is tough. Especially when when bro-in-law was showing her how to use their old papoose saying 'yes, you can have it, it's not like anyone else in the family has a due date before yours'. Trying not to stress, but it's hard not to think that I could have a 3mo by now, and that I just want to be pg right down into my bones.

Good luck with the big week aly, we're heading that way. Similar deep breath for enthusiasm, finding it hard to shake my af funk this month.

I find FF useful for recording things, but I don't take it as gospel. When the Dr asked about cycle lengths etc it was all to hand!

I hope it's not too hard seeing your sister.

Thanks nerdy-I'vs been logging everything in my diary, which I suppose is similar.

Meant to say, really interesting to hear a few others considering adoption-it seems to be becoming more usual. A few people at work are thinking of it too, whether or not they can have their own. DH wants to keep trying for our own for a while though, and investigate ivf if necessary. Am going to go cry on see the doc when holidays are over, I know any investigation will take ages so might as well log my concerns now.

So hate the 2ww. On fri I think I will be 11 dpo and contemplating POAS just because. Anyone else POAS fri too?

On the adoption front some of my work has been about fostering and adoption, including working with councils on improving the process for would be adopters and getting a better success rate on the matches. So many people start the process but it takes so long and you have to jump through 2 million (not all necceassry) hoops and puts loving families off which is wrong and such a shame. It has to get smoother for benefit of child and family.

It's only Monday and already fancy a glass of wine. Sure it's just because I'm not supposed to be having one that I really want one!!

I think you're all very brave to be considering adoption. It seems like such a hard process, with so many hoops (as mentioned already by fedup)...
Obviously I'm not a loving enough person. I know that there are loads of kids out there just longing for a loving family, but I just don't think that I could do it. I'm sure that makes me a terribly selfish person.

my gran had 4 kids of her own plus one who was stillborn, adopted 2 more kids, plus fostered loads more for varying lengths of time. she must have used up all the goodness and left none for me...

But you already have a DC don't you Aly? How about if you didn't have any and it was your only way of having a family...?

We're a long way off that point at the moment but would definitely consider adopting if we couldn't have our own kids.

I'm 11dpo on Friday too fedup so I may POAS.

I would definitely consider adoption, although I'm sure it's not an easy process.

pina I don't know how you didn't swing for your work colleague.

How are you sundance? Hope everything is settling down physically now.

yeah sal I know that would be a different situation, and i'm sure that I would look into adoption then.
What makes me feel selfish is, for example, cam saying that she's always planned to adopt a sibling pair once her own children grow up a bit. That thought had never crossed my mind.

I don't think it's selfish if you're not keen on adopting. I don't think I would. Very much doubt that my boyfriend would want to either. Adopting is VERY hard, not just the process but the whole thing. Many people have a bit of a rosetinted view and the reality is different. So don't feel bad if it's not for you.

Hi all,
just wanted to let you know that following your chat makes me feel soooo much better! I was also shocked at the reaction to finding out it was now 2 mc not just the 1 - one friend instantly asked me if i'd considered adopting! I just about managed to reply "er, I think there are alot of different options to consider before that" after nearly spitting out my drink. Has been praying on my mind though. I hope she's wrong and naturally isn't a lost cause yet.
I am also a very bad friend and have not called my friend whose baby is now 4 weeks old to see how she's doing (have sent a card and present instead) - I just can't face asking all about him and hearing all the answers. hope i'm not becoming totally reclusive!

Is there such a thing as ovulation rage?
if so, I have it

daisy if you've sent a card and present then i think you're a great friend. those 4 weeks will have passed in a haze of sleeplessness and hormones and she probably won't even have noticed that you haven't called.

Thanks Bezza, I'm much better now. Still prone to random crying fits - my eyes welled up when I walked past a mountain of Huggies nappies that were on sale in the supermarket , really weird stuff just sets me off.

Also, and I didn't have this last time so hoping it's not just me, but I initially stopped bleeding post mc about 7 days later , then 3 days of nothing, then intermittent brown spotting. Last night I was fine, but when I woke up it was back again. Need it to fook off now so we can crack on ! Can you still ovulate when you are spotting post mc??? Is that a stupid question?

re adoption: I don't think anyone should consider themselves selfish if they don't think they could do it, but i also think people might surprise themselves.

How frustrating Sundance - my af is a bit weird now too, hope yours sods off soon.

daisy, sending a prezzie is def good enough-buying them is hard as it is.

Wish there was a Santa. Maybe I'll try threatening him in a note up the chimney. Give me a sticky bfp for Xmas or else...

Hey there

Aly - please don't feel selfish! I've relatives who are adopted so its just a more day to day option if that makes sense. I also think I'd find it harder to consider it if I had a small child as then you have their needs to think about too if that makes sense. I think I feel 'lucky' in a way because its always been 'part of the plan' so its not such a big leap to making it 'the plan'. Not that it is the plan yet but you know. I've had a bottle of wine and am being nonsensical I think!

Daisy - one of my friends had a baby on Friday and I've said came I come and meet her etc only to be ignored! I think new parents have so much going on they won't be at all miffed. When you're ready to see them just text something along the lines off 'I haven't hounded you because I imagine everyone wants to see you at the mo and you prob just want time together as a family, but just want you to know I'm dying to see you and meet little Bertie whenever you've got a spare afternoon. I can bring lunch as I imagine its pretty hectic!'. Then you're actually considerate for not having for in contact!

Also it definitely isn't a lost cause! I also think the odds for two miscarriages in a row are quite high, hence them tending not to look in to it at that point as the likelihood is that its just really bad luck. According to med profession 1 = bad luck, 2 = very bad luck, 3 = possibility of something wrong though still potentially very very bad luck. Not much comfort but hopefully some optimism.

Re-reading my post I sound a lot happier than I feel. Does anyone else find getting through every day with a smile on really exhausting?

cam, you've just summed up what I meant to say on all counts but couldn't being on my phone and not as good at it!

Particularly on the adoption thing: we

...damn...I'm exactly the same with it always being part of the plan. Desperately hoping it won't need to become The Plan and I'm sure it won't, but it doesn't make me even slightly think anyone else is selfish for not being up for it. I don't think DH would have considered it if i hadn't said it was always in my mind.

P.s. exhausting-yes. Particularly this month for some reason

Argh, don't know where to post this so hope you don't mind if I come here to vent a bit.

So this morning was POAS time after MMC end August, and I got a positive! So I'm now terrified and feeling guilty and all sorts and just to mess up my head a little bit more I got home to find another antenatal appointment for previous pregnancy. This is the third time they've done this and a formal complaint is definitely heading their way.

I'm now sobbing on the sofa, DH is out with a friend for prearranged dinner, and I don't know what to do or think.

Thanks for reading, carry on as you were.

Hey Kat

Firstly big congratulations. BFPs after mc are universally very stressful I think. You're more than welcome to hang out and vent here. Another good place is the posifrickintivity and craziness when pregnant after mc thread in the pregnancy section. Not sure what its called exactly but it'll have posifrickintivity in the title. Let us know if you can't find it and need to. How very shite of the hospital. Not what you need at all.

I'm not feeling my best. Had a really bad night last night and basically just cried until about three am. Difficult patch I guess. Also got a letter in the post of my first results from gynae - I have big time thrush apparently. It also makes reference to me complaining about excess body and facial hair. Didn't leave me feeling the sexiest I've felt - bloody bearded thrush-bucket.

Rant over.

To clarify, that rant is aimed at the thread in general not just kat!

Thanks, I'll check out that thread.

Sorry you are also having a rough time at the moment, hope you can get the thrush sorted soon and it helps.