Posifrickentivity all round, with a good healthy dash of project desperate. New thread, new luck, new BFPs and Summer 2014 babies all round please! TTC after MC

[Sal1977]

Our brand spanking new thread full of luck, baby dust, BFPs and a few choice swear words.

The Rules...

(1) A lady may only POAS on a Friday.
(2) Friday means the day that everyone calls Friday in the time zone where you spent the night.
(3) Rule (1) does not apply to POA-OPK-S, UNLESS they are being illegitimately used as surrogate HCG detectors, in which case Rule (1) most definitely does apply
(4) Rule (1) does not apply following a BFP because if you want to waste £25 a day POADigiS that's your prerogative
(5) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady is POAS in an attempt to get a BFN to prove she can start DTD with intent
(6) Rule (1) does not apply if a lady wants for unknown reason to pee on an actual stick, like a twig or some such, if that lady is unexpectedly caught short whilst tramping in the forest looking for bears.
(7) These rules (including Rule (1)) are subject to the change at any time if the ladies of the Posifrickentivity thread decide on a whim come up with empirical evidence to prove that it is luckier to POAS on any other day of the week
(8) Violators of Rule (1) shall be subject to fish throwing.

And as a grand finale, why not pledge to NEVER POAS before 14DPO?

Hooray sal. Great news.

I came home from gym to find some spotting so all my confidence disappeared. Not going to test again as pretty sure evil AF is making a late appearance. Sam it.

Enjoy seaside.

One of the biggest shitters about having 3 MC is that I can't get excited (although I am also thanking my lucky lucky stats), all I keep thinking is that Xmas is 4 weeks away, right in the danger zone. I just can't picture any PG actually ending in a baby!

I'm taking one wee at a time....it could be a looonnnggg few months!!!

Need to brush up on my posifrickinivity!!

sal and over, wow, that's amazing! I will keep everything apart from my legs crossed (I'm ovulating, yippee!) for the both of you.

fed up, that's so tough, it surely will be your turn soon.

missp, boo for the spotting, I'm sorry to hear that, but yay to you for going to the gym. (Scrabbling for bright side)

May I add to the 'do before kids' list? Shopping. Just buy everything you will need for the next ten years. We foolishly took them to bluewater yesterday. Won't walk/won't go in pram/won't come out from under the clothes rack/won't eat expensive lunch/won't hold hand in crowd... Or make sure you produce compliant children...

Think it's hard to be excited after any mc but 3 is pretty unfair. So hoping this one is a good one for both sal and over. Got everything crossed for you both xx

I suppose I'm just having a good old moan about how most people seems to get pregnant relatively quickly after mc except me (both jn RL and on here) and I'm just a bit jealous, even though I totally appreciate the scariness of it all. Sorry, just being honest about how fed up I am on my months and months of project desperate efforts and nada to show for it!! I'm also in the 2 ww and trying to ignore it and dreading af arrival. Rant over and I'm off to eat a mountain of crisps - apparently we need to eat more when it's cold, right?!

miss p sorry you have starter spotting. Big hugs.its not over til proper flow but I know you know that.. X

Congratulations Sal and Over, that's great news. I can imagine it's scary but it's also the first steps to your dreams coming true. X

Alyant I know how you feel, it was 5 years last month that we conceived our ds and I was so sure we would have a sibling for him by now!

Keep talking Fedup! I'm always jealous when someone announces a BFP, it makes it easier to bear when it's someone from here though. I didn't mean to sound trite or ungrateful, I'm just frightened of being upduffed again. It's not the physical side of MC that I dread but the mental one. It's fucking shit and within 10 minutes of seeing that second line, I told DH that if this one is another duffer, I want a break from the whole TTC thing. Ok, I'm 36 so time isn't on my side, but a couple of months isn't going to make a massive difference.

I'm tired of it. I tried for a year with my ex-husband, he then ran off with a friend of ours (who incidentally is expecting their first baby in December). I then met my lovely hubby and fell pg after 6 months by accident (couldn't believe it!). MC at 5 weeks. Started trying properly a year later, got pg on 6th cycle. MMC at 11 weeks. Fell PG 4 cycles later. MC at 6 weeks. Now 4 cycles later have 2 lines. As you can imagine, not very hopeful, but must try to be positive.

We have our first appt at the recurrent miscarriage unit a week on Tuesday, so I'm going to call them and see if we need to get in sooner. My guess is we won't.

It feels like I've either been bleeding, shagging, crying, pissing on a pissing stick or on knicker watch for eternity as I would imagine everyone on here does. With amount if money I've spent I could've bought a baby from china by now.

But, I have 2 lines today and for now, that's enough.

Much love and fertile thoughts. Xxx

Awh sal your honesty is appreciated. You have been through so much And it is a rollercoaster. You are due so good luck. I so hope this one sticks for you. I think everyone on here is dreading the first 12 weeks after we get over the first BFP hurdle. So stay with us and hopefully we can give you lots of support. Xx. Tonight you can go to bed knowing you have a bean in your belly - well done you.

Aww Sal, I have everything crossed for you. You and your DH really deserve a sticky bean, i know how terrifying it must all be, but stay positive. Good things come to those who wait...even after several years and lots of heartache.

So my good news....af finally made an appearance last night! Woooohhoooo. It feels like someone is squeezing my ovary, it's so painful, but I'm just glad it's finally over and we can soon get cracking again.

Yiiippppeeeeee for sundance AF. A fresh start.

Thanks sal. Funnily enough, even i bang in about it, ijm oddly bored of talking about my ttc woes as I just so sick of ttc and the heartbreak. I want to brush it all under the carpet and forget about it. But can't do that if I'm after a baby! Bleurgh!

Your honesty means a lot. Thanks for sharing your story and I can imagine how tough it is for you now getting over the first hurdle but now another 36 to go (weeks!) til new born time. The next 8 will be the trickiest though for sure.

I'm the same re the whole mental aspect is the worst... It's that that kills me every month with bfn and af, I'm actually finding ttc much harder to deal with than the mc itself - perhaps odd but it just feels so hopeless.

If feel slightly sick when I think of the amount of money I've spent on digi opks, hpt's and other ttc paraphernalia - mine is prob enough for twins from china!!

I hope the unit does see you earlier, but they will
Probably do the 'lets see how you go with this one' approach. So hoping this one is your one to work out sal. You deffo deserve it, not least for entertaining us ladies on this thread with your ttc antics!! Much love xx

*even though I bang on about it (rather, stupid phone)

I'll see if I can nick a load of syringes from the hospital when I go for the appt.

So, woke up this morning to a massive temp drop to just over my cover line . Did a PG test and its barely there --

Oops, hit send by mistake.

So it's barely there only really there if you're looking for it and an IC shows nada.

I guess we're looking at a chemical folks!

And THAT is why having a BFP is very underwhelming for me.

Oh no sal oh no.
I didn't think temp meant anything when actually pregnant as it all goes a bit crazy if you are? But I don't really know what I'm talking about as only temped once and sent me bonkers instead.
I hope it's not a chemical, sal. I really do

It is fedup unfortunately. I don't have sore boobs and have been feeling a bit campy for a couple of days. No sign of spotting yet but I bet that will appear by the end of the day. AF was due on Saturday so a test should be showing a fairly clear positive by now (plenty of practice of analysing them here). It sucks.

Do you think that mental attitude has anything to do with it? Yesterday I kept thinking that I can't do this again and questioning whether I should be having children full stop. I've wanted them for years but still the thought terrifies me and now this happens maybe my body thinks I don't want it enough? here come the mental thoughts again I know I know!

Oh no. Ok, will not try and keep the hope up. So sorry sal

No - I don't think it does. I think the mental aspects were more likely to prevent getting pregnant, but not whether it sticks or not. And in any case, the mental thoughts are not about not wanting a child, they are just fear of it all going wrong again and protecting yourself from getting too excited. You do want a child, you said so yourself and wouldnt be the biggest advocate of project desperate if you werent! Protecting myself is also why I test before af is due so I can gear myself up for af coming rather than waste hoping I might actually get a bfp.

Are you taking fish oil? Supposed to help with egg development, a not so great egg is a likely cause of the mc and chemical.

I'm not actually but will add it to the list!

I'm wondering if I have an issue with my uterine lining or something. If this one goes the way I think it is, 3 of the 4 times I've been pg have been very early so maybe not implanting properly?

They say light periods can be an indication of this but surely one persons heavy is another persons light? So can I ask a few of you what your periods are like? (We talk about wanking into pots, so I'm guessing a bit of tampon talk isn't out of bounds!)

A normal period for me is about 3 days long with a day or two at the end of spotting (ie panty liner is fine). I have 1-1.5 days of heavy (ie requires a regular sized tampax 3 times in day and one overnight) then a day where I can wear a couple of tampax but doesn't desperately need changing.

Grim conversation but interesting to see where I fair on the heavy period side of things.

Thanks chickadees! Xx

Ps I'll still swipe as many syringes as I can!!

Fingers crossed for you sal. Really hoping it's not a chemical.

I keep telling myself what will be will be, but it is shit. Whilst I am genuinely pleased for those who are having babies or pregnant I am also jealous and think why them not me (not that I would wish this on anyone else). At the moment, almost 11 weeks post MC, I would love AF to put in an appearance so we can start TTC again. Though that in I self bring the waiting, hoping and disappointment. Then if you get a BFP there is a whole lots of worry and watching and worrying. That's what makes it so good being able to voice all those concerns on here.

sal your periods sound very like mine. I assumed they were light as I had been on the pill for so long. Saying that it took me 8 cycles to get a BFP a few years ago (which ended at 10 weeks) and don't remember them being any different or those post DDs birth, so maybe that's just how they are?

Oh and sundance glad AF has put in an appearance, hope she is not too bad too you. How long did you wait? Still no sign here -sigh!!!!

well, what a busy weekend.

sal what a rollercoaster of a weekend you've had. biggest of hugs. At least you know that sperm is meeting egg though which is the first hurdle - if this is a indeed a chemical and not a sticky (i've analysed lots of charts of FF and temp CAN vary a lot during early pregnancy as i'm sure you know). Only a couple of weeks to recurrent mc clinic, and i'm sure that they'll be able to sort you out so that you get a bean that sticks in no time.

on the topic of periods, mine is generally "heavy" for one day meaning about the same as what you describe sal, then one or two days where I wear a tampon but it doesn't really need changing. by day 3/4 i'm just using a panty liner. I have always thought that this is quite light and am also worried about having a thin lining.

over how are you going? and you missp??

sundance that's so great that AF has FINALLY showed up.

fedup i'm understand exactly where you're coming from - it is cycle 10 (i think) for me too this month and nothing, nothing, nothing.... it's really getting me down.

So i mentioned the other day about my friend who's just got pg after 2+ years of trying. I met up with her hubby yesterday and he said that they'd had all the tests, she'd been on some hormones (not sure what exactly, he wasn't clear - but i'm guessing maybe clomid?) and nothing worked. In the end they gave up the hormones and she started acupuncture and chinese medicine. That's what worked in the end. Or else it was all a placebo effect and what worked was just giving it time...... To be honest that's probably the most likely, although it's not what project desperate wants to hear.
I'm sharing this story because i think it's nice to hear of success even after quite a while of trying.
What I find is the worst of this ttc lark is the not knowing. If someone could just tell me that yes, i'll get pg again but it'll take another year then I could just get on with my life and be ready when it happens. It's the bloody uncertainty of not knowing from month to month what is going to happen that gets to me the most.

After my last MC in July the nurse taking my bloods said that the mistake people like us make us wasting our lives waiting for it to happen. The chances are it will but you have to try and live your life like it won't ie book that dream holiday, buy the 2 seater convertible or the stupidly high leather boots etc. it's very true in a way but very hard in reality.

I'm the same Aly even if someone said "you'll have your baby on your 40th birthday", ok, it's not what I planned nearly 5 years ago but I could chill the fuck out and not feel so fricking exhausted with the stress of it all!!

Oh no Sal - thinking of you lots. It's just horrendous this fricking rollercoaster of emotions. Hope you're holding up ok.

To answer your question, I don't think your af sounds out of the ordinary. Though it took a few cycles to get back into some normality last time, I'd say the first day is usually quite crampy and after a bit of spotting, it goes to quite heavy straight away. Followed by 3/4 days of regular 3-a-day changes and then lightens up to a day or so of brown spotting. All in all, the whole process takes exactly 5 days for me usually.

HollyBen - I had my mc on 16th Oct, and got my af on Sat/Sunday so exactly 38 days later...or 5 and a bit weeks if you count it like that. I was getting worried, after my 1st mc in March, it was 34 days before my af. On both occasions I was over 11 weeks pg, and I know the longer you are pg for, the longer it takes for your uterus to repair itself afterwards which is why I think it's taken so long to get this one.

To be honest, had it taken much longer I would have gone back to the docs to see if they could have given me anything to induce it. If you haven't already then I would definitely go and see if there is anything they can give you. Also, take lots of vitamin C supplements as I read this helps to fix things a bit, I started taking it last week and maybe that's why af showed up for me. Good luck with it.

The mental part of ttc is definitely the hardest bit - and I say that after recently having my 2nd mc with no children at the age of 32. There's a fear that there is something wrong and no one wants to help you unless you've had 3 mc's, a fear that you can't have kids altogether when most of your friends are either pg, having babies, or even on their second or third child by now.

I have an amazing DH, but he has struggled with depression in the past and this latest mc has really been tough for him. It's so difficult, frightening and ultimately just really sad - but I'm not the kind of person to give up easily. Onwards and upwards ladies...we will get there. And when we do, it will be all the more spectacular.

There is some logic to that - getting on with your life! And if it is something like a car you can always sell it and get a more family friendly one! My friend book a big trip to the Lions tour in Oz this year... Of course she was then up duffed after 4 years of trying! They got all their money back tho as apparently pregnancy is something they do that for... So get booking!!!
I'm going to go skiing early next year I think. So going to start look for good deals

I'm 'relaxing' ahem for the last two months of this year then getting back on it in jan. this is month one and can honestly say so far I've felt the least mental as I have in previous months. Give me a few days tho and no doubt be squinting at non existant lines and dissecting hpt's to 'double check'.

I too think your periods sound normal sal
Mine start light for an hour or two then heaviest for 1 day (super tampon strength required, I soak through regular), then regular for two days then spotting for about another 3 or 4. Mine takes about 6 or 7 days. And sometimes my ewcm is mixed with period blood (gross I know) but I'm an early ovulator! Last period was so so dark blood which freaked me out a bit so will see what this one is going to do (due Sunday I think but not sure as not done any temping or opks this month).