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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Fed up: TTC for a year - what am I doing wrong?

54 replies

Shoegal30 · 17/10/2013 22:17

Me and DH are in our early 30s. DHs sperm analysis came back normal.
My ultrasound was clear. My blood results and smear test results are due early next week.

I don't drink. Have been using CBFM for 8 months which always charts highs and peaks. Have also been using conceive plus and taking pregnacare vitamins.

Despite this AF has just arrived and symptomless at that. It's been a year now and still no luck. What am I doing wrong? I am starting to feel as if it's never going to happen for us. Fed up.

OP posts:
plinkyplonks · 17/10/2013 22:38

Didn't want to read and run :( Sorry to hear about the issues you have been having and not surprised you are feeling fed up. Not sure what to suggest as I am only at the start of this journey.

Has the doctor given you any indication of what might be wrong or what they are willing to do to assist you in TTC? After 12 months of trying, have you been offered iVF/clomid? Not sure on these options myself but I've heard them mentioned in other threads ...

Other questions that might be helpful to some more knowledgeable posters who may be able to help you out: how often are you dtd? Only when you think you are ovulating? Do you have a family history of unexplained fertility problems? Both you / your DH in OK BMI range and eating healthily?

Most likely you are doing nothing wrong at all and doing everything right! This TTC lark doesn't appear to be an exact science!! We are all in the same boat :( I hope you get your BFP soon x Best of luck! x

barkingtreefrog · 18/10/2013 08:40

Come join the elderberries thread, we're all over 30 and have been ttc #1 for over a year. It's great to talk to others in the same position and between us we're all experts at poas, fertility clinics, teat results, iui, ivf, clomid etc etc.... so anything you're told or about to have someone will have been there aleady!

Mrsden · 18/10/2013 09:12

If you're having regular sex (2-3 times a week throughout your cycle) then you're not doing anything wrong. Fertility is a lottery. One third of cases of infertility are unexplained. That doesn't mean there isn't something wrong but just that there is a test yet available to identify the problem.

It's so tough but all you can do is allow yourself to be fed up and upset, it's not fair. Keep on at the doctors so that you are referred to a fertility specialist and my advice would be to take any treatment that is offered to you and not wait around as things do get tougher the older you are. Good luck.

olivo · 18/10/2013 09:38

Acupuncture has (probably) helped two of my friends who were having difficulties conceiving. I have no idea how the science of iti works, but is it something you would consider?

I had it for sickness and it worked for me.

ohfourfoxache · 18/10/2013 09:51

Oh Shoegal (((hugs))) Sad

Please don't feel that you're "doing something wrong" - I hate to think of you putting yourself under more pressure than you are already under

You've done exactly the right thing - trying for a year, not happened yet so you've sought some advice. Perfect!

I know it's frustrating, and you probably want to cry every time you see AF (I know I do and DH and I aren't even properly "trying" - always hope for an immaculate conception Blush ) but you WILL get there.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself - focus on you and your relationship, enjoy trying and please try to avoid as much stress as you possibly can x

DontCallMeDaughter · 18/10/2013 10:47

Just wanted to say hi - I recently got a BFP after a year of trying, I know how hard it is and the miserable cycle of waiting to ovulate, waiting for AF... its really hard... especially if you're surrounded by people who seem to be able to get pregnant on their first/second cycle.

This month, I had acupuncture, ate pineapple core (dpo1-5) and followed a low carb, high protein diet. Obviously there is no way of knowing if any of this helped, but we finally got a positive test...

I really feel for you, and you're definitely not doing anything wrong... the tests are all clear which is a really good sign that it will happen for you, its just that it's taking longer than it does for other people.

Good luck x

DontCallMeDaughter · 18/10/2013 10:49

Oh and Shoegal - are you taking your temps? Its really miserable to have to do every morning, but it does help you understand when you ovulate. I was getting peaks on the CBFM but not ovulating for a couple of days after the last peak - which I wouldn't have known if I wasn't temping. My temps also rose really slowly which suggested low progesterone, hence the low carb, high protein diet.

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 19/10/2013 10:35

Oh wow ladies. Thanks for all the replies I was very overwhelmed by your responses an great advice.

I didn't have a chance to log on yesterday as had a really busy day at work.

We have been dtd 2-3 times a week and more during my fertile period.

I will join the elderberry thread - we can all share tips.

Also congrats dontcallmedaughter, that's great news. Bet you and the other half are so chuffed. I don't take temps at the mo but will start to get more insight. Pineapple sounds great as I love pineapple anyway and I have had a friend recommend acupuncture so am going to try that. Is there a particular time in the cycle you did it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoegal30 · 19/10/2013 10:44

Whoops sorry hit send instead of return. I also need some advice if anybody can help.

On Thursday when I wrote this message I thought AF had come early. I am very regular only a day either side and AF was due yesterday.

Anyway on Thursday lunchtime when I wiped there was a pink watery discharge. I sometimes spot a couple of hours before AF so I thought I would wait until putting on a tampon and stuck to a panty liner. When I wiped again for the rest of the day. In the evening just before bed I wiped again and there was more discharge so put a tampon on, got depressed, started this thread and went to bed.

When I woke up yesterday morning (day AF is due) my tampon was fairly clean - normally it's full. When I wiped it there was no blood there - clean again. Again all day at work clean every time I wiped. Then again yesterday before bed I spotted again. Thought AF was here so put tampon on. Also took hpt - negative. Deffo thought AF here - went to bed.

This morning - same thing as yesterday morning. Only a light stain on tampon and nothing when I wipe.

This has never happened to me before. My period always follows a regular pattern of light to heavy within hours and then light again after a couple of days.

Any ideas? Could this just be a weird period?

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoegal30 · 19/10/2013 10:48

Sorry noticed typo in earlier post - on Thursday lunchtime there was a pink discharge. There was nothing there when I wiped for the rest of the day. Only another discharge before I went to bed.

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 19/10/2013 10:52

have you poas?

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 19/10/2013 10:58

Yeah I did last night and it was negative.

Also I know this sounds silly but I don't know the rules about POAS. Believe it or not I've only POAS once since we have been trying for the last 12 months as AF normally arrives on time and I didn't want to disappoint myself by trying early.

How long do I have to hold my wee before testing. I was going to the loo every 30 mins yesterday evening.

OP posts:
hopefulgum · 19/10/2013 11:01

Hi, I don't want to hijack your thread OP, but I have been ttc for a long time (4 years) and wondered if I could ask dontcallmedaughter a couple of questions?

Can you tell me a bit more about your diet? Did you follow a particular plan, and how did you eat pineapple core? Did you juice it or chew it?

shoegal it might be an implantation bleed, so perhaps pee on a stick?

I am 3dpo and will start the pineapple ASAP. I know my problem is age related, I have had three miscarriages, but still trying...

Good luck OP.

hopefulgum · 19/10/2013 11:03

Sorry I cross posted. Try peeing on the stick with first morning urine, it will be nice and concentrated.

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 19/10/2013 11:06

Hey hopeful, no problem. It's great getting advice from others in the same boat.

I peed a couple of times in the night and this morning so think I will see how I get on today and if nothing happens today will POAS in the morning. I don't want to get my hopes up just yet as more than likely is just a weird period.

OP posts:
ShatterResistant · 19/10/2013 20:12

I wish you enormous luck, but just in case, can I recommend the Ovacue fertility monitor? You put it on your tongue every morning and it measures the electrolytes in your saliva to tell you when you're most likely to ovulate.. Sounds like quackery, I know, but after 8 months of trying first time around, it worked for me on the second cycle I used it. And this time it worked on the first cycle...

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 21/10/2013 08:22

Thanks ShatterResistant, I will look into this too.

I appear to be having a very strange cycle. I had spotting Thursday and Friday night only. Then nothing all day Saturday and yesterday. But last night I was spotting again so put on a tampon. This morning it was only a third full. Again normally on the first day of AF this would be full.
I have slight spotting when I wipe so have put a pad on today.

I have regular cycles so unsure why this is staggered. I took a HPT on Friday night and yesterday morning and it was negative both times.

Anyone know what's going on?

OP posts:
CatsCantFlyFast · 21/10/2013 08:30

When was AF due? Either you are pregnant (keep using HPT in the morning with first morning urine), or perhaps you are having a strange cycle (maybe you didn't ovulate).
I was going to ask which bloods you had done? Have they confirmed you ovulate? OPKs and/or a fertility monitor will only tell you about rising hormones which may indicate you ovulate... Lots of people have the hormone surges giving a positive on a monitor or OPK but don't actually ovulate. I would ensure you have this checked at the doc, and as mentioned up thread, try temping for a few cycles to confirm you are ovulating.
Second vote for joining the elderberries. Good luck either way

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 21/10/2013 08:44

Thanks NotWithoutMyMerkin. AF was due on Friday.

I had my 21 day blood test last week and have an appointment with the doc tomorrow morning to discuss results.

I have just bought a thermometer and was planning to temp to get better insight. I just don't know what the first day of my cycle is now though.

OP posts:
babyrose · 21/10/2013 18:09

Hi Shoegal, just wanted to say ure not alone I've just af this morning and that's us just about to head into our 12TTC cycle. It's so frustrating but don't give up it will happen for us all.

DontCallMeDaughter · 21/10/2013 19:21

Hopefulgum, I have pm'd you!

Shoegal, definitely time to pee on a stick if you're three days late!!!

m33r · 21/10/2013 19:47

shoegal I'm in cycle 11 ttc #1. Really hard. I just thought I'd say you're not alone. Also on the October bus this month 2 girls on cycle 11 got BFP...

minipie · 21/10/2013 20:37

Shoegal hope your funny bleeding does turn out to be implantation bleeding but in case not... what blood tests are you having? Do get your thyroid tested, turned out for me it was under active thyroid which was stopping me get pg even though I didn't show any of the usual under active thyroid signs. I got pg within 6 wks of starting thyroxine.

blondieminx · 21/10/2013 20:44

I was pg 3m after starting levothyroxine also. Do ask for the numbers on the blood tests, TSH in women of childbearing age should be under 2.0.

Also, I got BFN's for a week after AF was due ... DD is now 3.9.

Fingers crossed for you!

minipie · 21/10/2013 20:58

Yes I agree with blondie, some drs will tell you that TSH under 5 is ok but it's not if you're trying to get pg, needs to be under 2.

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