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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Fed up: TTC for a year - what am I doing wrong?

54 replies

Shoegal30 · 17/10/2013 22:17

Me and DH are in our early 30s. DHs sperm analysis came back normal.
My ultrasound was clear. My blood results and smear test results are due early next week.

I don't drink. Have been using CBFM for 8 months which always charts highs and peaks. Have also been using conceive plus and taking pregnacare vitamins.

Despite this AF has just arrived and symptomless at that. It's been a year now and still no luck. What am I doing wrong? I am starting to feel as if it's never going to happen for us. Fed up.

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoegal30 · 21/10/2013 22:16

Ah thanks for all the lovely messages ladies, the support is so uplifting.

Unfortunately my AF has come with a vengeance and is stronger than it has been ever! But I am hopeful with my appointment tomorrow and have picked up some great qs for the docs.

So now I have cracked open the chocs and am enjoying some Made In Chelsea. Grin

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m33r · 21/10/2013 22:56

Good luck shoegal! Let us know how it goes.

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 22/10/2013 10:34

Well ladies I have just got my blood test results and they were clear.

However, I found the doc very unhelpful. I asked if I had ovulated and was told there isn't a blood test that picks this up? Is this true? It was the 21 day blood test I had done.

The doc said as I have regular periods, she is assuming I ovulate!!! On top of that I was told I just 'need to relax' and it will happen. I did lose it with the doc at this point on all honesty.

I am now being referred to a gynecologist at my local hospital for an initial consultation and they will then carry out examinations. The doc told me that 95% of couples are pregnant within 2 years and by the time all the examinations etc are done it will be 2 years.

Needless to say I didn't leave the docs enlightened. I have just checked my results and my serum TSH level was 2.2. Is this anything to worry about?

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hillyhilly · 22/10/2013 10:42

Re your odd period, I had one exactly like this when I was TTC my first and getting anxious about it not happening, I think simply, the mind can do strange (and cruel) things to your body.
My only tip, which may sound completely daft, is that if like us you are dtd when you think you are ovulating, you may be leaving it too late, you really should dtd regularly from when your period finishes. I think that we were a bit late each month as we had the week after my period "off" then resumed once I knew I was ovulating.

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 22/10/2013 11:17

I agree Hillyhilly, it was just my body being cruel this month.

I am taking advice from dontcallmedaughter and am going to look into acupuncture as even if at a basic level it helps me relax it will be worth doing. Dontcallmedaughter what time in your cycle did you have acupuncture or was it every week?

Good advice Hillyhilly. We have started DTD earlier as I get a high from day 7 in my cycle. Will try every other day this month until AF arrives - we are going to be exhausted!

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DontCallMeDaughter · 22/10/2013 14:27

It is good news Shoegal, that your results were clear. I know it doesn't always feel like it, because you almost hope something is wrong, because then you'd have an answer - but nothing being wrong is a GOOD thing! But it's also a good thing that you're being referred even if you did have to fight for it - the more help you get the better!

I had acupuncture just before ovulation and just after, I had it a week apart, with ovulation somewhere in the middle. I got my BFP after the first attempt, but we had planned to do the same thing the next cycle, so definitely not once a week.

I agree that it does help mentall as well - but also its nice to feel like you're doing something, however small to help. I found that following the low carb, high protein diet as well - that it was good to feel like I was making positive steps.

And definitely try temping, it will really help you understand exactly when to DTD. Every other day for a month is epic!

Oh and the chances are you are ovulating. There is no way to know for sure without a scan, and it is possible to have a regular cycle and not ovulate - but this would be quite unusual. Temping will help reassure you that you are ovulating.

mummamoo13 · 22/10/2013 15:29

Hey guys,
This website is doing an online chat session about fertility and conception with some Fertility experts if you're interested?

Might be worth checking out... www.sprouts.co.uk/forum/Lunchtime-Forum---Ask-the-experts/Fertility--Conception

minipie · 22/10/2013 17:08

oh the bloody just relax myth.

and yes there IS a blood test which gives a good indication of ovulation, the day 21 tests ought to include this. I think it's a high progesterone level on day 21 (or more accurately, 7 days post estimated ovulation, which may not actually be day 21 for lots of women) that indicates ovulation. not sure what the figure needs to be.

hmm, unimpressive GP but at least you have a referral to get the proper tests done. good luck. Personally I wouldn't worry about that TSH level if everything else looks ok.

SoonToBeSix · 22/10/2013 18:03

You aren't doing anything wrong but could I suggest preseed , I was ttc my ds for 8 months then got pregnant the first month I used it.

m33r · 22/10/2013 18:48

shoegal that's rubbish about the gp. Mine kept telling me she 'wasn't an expert' WTF! Anyway, I just thought, yiu're def not an expert but I had to put up with you to get my referral which I now have. And as you say, by 2years if you have!'t conceived (this is statistically unlikely!!! So keep positive!), then you'll be eligible for ivf (in my area anyway).

My plan...

Get hosp appt and a. Find out what's wrong and get treated, or b. find out nothing is wrong. If b, then we'll opk, symptom spot etc until feb, then STOP and just live our lives until we are eligible for ivf. My reasoning is that I don't think its healthy to be doing this for too long ... Life is happening out there and I don't want to miss it and honestly at the moment I feel like my life is on hold. This is fine for now but not forever!

This is my month though so hopefully none of this will matter on 2nd nov! :-)

m33r · 22/10/2013 18:49

soon how exactly does pressed work and where do I get it? Thanks !

DontCallMeDaughter · 22/10/2013 18:54

I'd completely forgotten about that... We didn't use preseed because I didn't want to wait for delivery (I think amazon sell it)... we used Balance Activ Conceive which you can get at most Boots. You do a couple of squirts up your fanjo before DTD... We used it for the first time on my BFP cycle....

m33r · 22/10/2013 18:57

Thanks dont. Sorry for personal question but does it feel different to you / DH? Might give it a bash but think it will stress DH out so would maybe just do it without consulting?

minipie · 22/10/2013 19:38

We used preseed. it just feels wetter iirc! no need for DH to know if it would stress him.

I think it's designed to mimic natural fanjo juices ( the egg white type you're supposed to get around ovulation) which helps the spermies on their way.

DontCallMeDaughter · 22/10/2013 19:42

M33r... He had no idea... He just thought I was really turned on... (He is a bit dense sometimes!).

I quite liked it... I must admit I found the every day for a week sex hard work so it helped it feel good which was a bonus!

mikkii · 22/10/2013 20:09

I already had 2 DC, but DC3 took me 13 months of trying. I know that I already had children, that meant I was not as concerned about conceiving, I just figured I was getting too old.

SoonToBeSix · 22/10/2013 21:06

As other have said best place to get preseed is amazon , my dh said he noticed a difference but not in a bad way.

SoonToBeSix · 22/10/2013 21:15

Like the other poster said I think it just feels like you are really turned on I had told him I had used it .

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 22/10/2013 21:35

Thanks Soon. We tried Preseed when we first started TTC and then I switched to Conceive Plus when we ran out as I had heard good things about CP too.

Unfortunately neither have worked for us yet. DH prefers CP as it isn't as runny as PS.

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m33r · 22/10/2013 21:41

Thank you all so much! As always only place in the world you can ask ... And get an honest answer. So, if it comes to ttc next month (hopefully BFP 2nd nov) then my DH will think he's a hero ;-) (sick alert!: he is a hero!)

Thanks again girlies!

:-)

Original poster
Shoegal30 · 22/10/2013 21:43

m33r my doc was the same and said she wasn't an expert too. I had the 21 day blood test which showed I was on my luteal phase, which couples with regular periods leads to the assumption I ovulate.

That sounds like a good plan and is prob similar to ours. I have got an appointment in 3 weeks to see the gynecologist for an initial consultation at my local hospital - in fairness is a lot sooner than I expected.

Don't I have been recommended a lady for acupuncture and have booked an appointment. Thanks so much for the advice - you are right, I feel better now that I am 'doing something'.

And Mini my GP tipped me over the edge when she said to relax as it had worked for her!!! Relax - oh why haven't I thought of that earlier. Patronizing people!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Shoegal30 · 22/10/2013 21:48

Ha I know m33r, it's great to share with like minded people as everybody in my social circle seems to be able to get pregnant on demand so aren't able to relate.

For your ref, I ordered both PS and CP from Amazon. It was the most competitively priced with quick delivery and I enjoyed reading the successful reviews but as you said, fingers crossed you don't need it eh?

Good luck xx

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m33r · 22/10/2013 21:56

Ohhhhhhhh, I see, I can stop blogging, tracking, opk-ing EVEN bloody dtd! All I need to do is relax! I also had not thought of that! Will start that tomorrow!

My mum said, I think you know too much. I'm 11minths down the line; if I didn't 'know' anything it would call into question my general intelligence and awareness!

As well as 'relaxing' from tomorrow, I will also 'unknow' my cycle, what EWCM is, how conception works etc!

So two helpful tips: relax! Unknow!

Sterling 'advice'!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr....

Rant over! I am positive. We will all be pg this month! This will all be a funny anecdote !

Fla la la la la la la!!!
:-) :-) :-)

m33r · 22/10/2013 21:58

Btw shoegal do you go on conception 'buses'? They're good too for sanity!

DontCallMeDaughter · 22/10/2013 22:11

The "just relax" thing has been scientifically proved to be bollocks anyway. There haven't been a lot of studies but the ones they have done show that stress has zero effect on conception regardless of the multitude of people who knew someone who stopped ttc and got knocked up the next month. Grrrr.

I found the Buses really hard because most people on there are only in cycle 1/2/3 and getting bfps really quickly... I know there are some long timers on the October bus but I wasn't strong enough to be one of them....

Loving your positivity m33r, fingers well and truly crossed for you!!!