Donor IUI?

[MinnieMooMoo]

Hello! Just looking for a group/quiche to join but not really sure where I fit it.

I'm intending to go it alone and have Donor Insemination by IUI starting in January providing my investigations all come back clear.

Any one else in the same boat, or has done it alone in the past?

Kwick how're you coming along, too? When do you get to test?

taydex welcome back! Hope scan goes well :)

caution i should test in a week but will probably crumble and test at weekend.
if I am honest I would not want you to base any of your decisions on what I say - I am not an expert and that is a lot of pressure!
I hope you got back to sleep.

Hi ladies,

Thanks for your messages. Scan today showed I now have 2 follicles at about 11 mm each. On Friday it was 4 between 5 mm and 7 mm, so coming along nicely, if a lot slower than other cycles. I'm wondering if your body gets used to the simulating drugs (I'm on Gonal F). Waiting to hear back from blood test result taken this morning. I'm happy enough if they are. Just a bit slower than normal this cycle. Booked in for another scan on Wednesday.

Caution - I'd agree with Kwik on this. It is very tempting to go it alone (another and a same sex couple friends of mine were successful pretty quickly doing this) but it wouldn't be for me. That said, I've not been massively impressed with my clinic at times and have adjusted some timings following research online ;)

Kwik - how's the dreaded 2WW coming along? You got enough on to keep you busy and not thinking about it too much?

Toodle pip for now,

TayDex

Oooh test in a week? That's exciting, but at the same time so far away haha. I can only imagine how hard it must be on holding off.
No no, I'm not basing decisions on what you say - I'm sorry, I don't mean to put you under a lot of pressure - but seeing as you've been doing this for four months and have a lot more insight than I do, it seems silly to disregard anything you say... If that makes sense?
Hope you have a good day.

Hi TayDex, glad your follicles are coming along nicely! At least they've grown over the weekend, albeit slowly. What blood tests have you had done, if you don't mind me asking? I'm so curious ha because I'm yet to even go to my first consultation (I'm in saving mode). I feel like such a newbie!

I'm within two minds. Last night I thought it was a good idea, but now I'm not so sure. We'll see how the first consultation goes, when I finally have it. Just want to get the ball rolling now!

Hi Caution.

Blood test is to check LH (luteinising hormone) and Oestrogen levels. In the past my clinic have just done the scans and left me to do the surge (OPK) strips at home. I'm glad they've added the blood test as always good to have more info. To be fair I did have a bit of a whinge at them when my previous cycle was stopped half way through (their timing and cheap OPK strips meant we missed ovulation) as I'm not convinced they're putting the effort in (and timings aren't aren't what aren't what the internet recommends/suggests) so I think they're paying more attention

Let me know if you have any questions. Like Kwik I'm getting to be a bit old hat at this (1st cycle May last year, currently on 5th cycle).

TayDex

Hi there TayDex - I've so many questions haha! Kwick has been kind enough to answer them all, but it's always nice to hear another story/journey because everyone's is so different.

I'm not surprised you had a bit of a whinge at them - it's down to them to be the "experts", they should be on the ball more than they are! I'm glad they've added in the LH blood test - can't get more accurate than that!!
If you don't mind me asking, what made you choose IUI over IVF? And again, if you don't mind me asking (very rude of me I know, so I'm sorry!) but how old are you? I'm only 24 - some people think I'm crazy to do it so "young" but I've always been someone that knows my own mind & knows what I want, and this has been something I've thought about seriously for a year now. But now I'm getting closer to being able to financially do it, I'm on the hunt for more info!

I'm glad they're paying more attention. What clinic do you go to? The closest/most convenient to me is CARE in Northampton - but there also a LWC in Luton that I'm considering, too. Any experience/thoughts are extremely welcome

Thank you for taking the time to talk & to answer my questions. It means a lot, ladies!

taydex yay on follicle growth! What day cycle are you on? Blimey can you get resistant?

caution great to do so much research :)

So I missed my flight... Fortuantely there is one later today... Am having a very late lunch which is very fertility boosting rich :)

My nether regions feel very heavy and boobage is about to explode! Speaking of which, I beeped on scanner (as usual) and now instead of a pat down there is a new fangled body scanner which I refused to go through on grounds I might be upduffed... So caused a small scandal... In the end they did a pat down...

Oh no! Sorry you missed your flight Kwick :( where are you headed to?

Such a positive sign that your nether regions are feeling heavy and your boobs feel different too! I have everything crossed that this is it for you.. Is it normal for you to feel like this, or is it a new feeling?? Haha causing havoc in an airport is always fun!

I'm still researching, even though I feel like I've exhausted the internets avenues. Still unsure on CARE or LWC, I'm waiting to hear back from TayDex . I just keep going over their websites and different bits just in case I've missed something!

Hi Ladies,

Caution - More questions the merrier - fire away! I remember how many I had when I was in your position. Always good to do some research to find out how real people feel about and deal with this kind of thing.
So, we chose to go with IUI for a variety of reasons. 1. I'm married to a woman so had to go for some assistance with the process. 2. I was early 30s when we started looking into this and due to my age and no known fertility problems it seemed a good bet. 3. IVF is a lot more invasive, with more appointments to be had, etc etc. With IUI I can get away with people at work not even realising I'm not here! (I'm quite a private person and haven't told people at work what we're doing).
I wouldn't say you're too young. It's whatever suits you and whenever. We all go into these things with different reasons and there's nothing wrong with that. If it feels right for you, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Part of me wishes I'd got on with this a bit sooner. Actually, speaking of which... I would recommend you go to your GP to discuss this and potential NHS funding. This varies widely from PCT to PCT (area/region of the country basically) and it's worth an ask. We went this route on Stonewall (gay/lesbian guys) advice. Some areas will pay for some of your treatment, and I've heard this is true also for people going it alone.
Our clinic is Bourn Hall in Cambridge. We went to see 5 clincs I think - 2 near (ish) where we live and 3 in London. We looked at the success rates before picking which to go see, and only went to see ones with a good record (although hard to tell as so few people do IUI, so some of this was based on IVF %s). We chose our clinic based on the feel (very relaxed and not too clinical), location (and how easy to get to for appointments) and of course success rates. Although I whinge about them at times, I do think they are good and I wouldn't really want to change. You just have to be a bit forceful with them at times and tell them "no, we're doing this today" etc :)

TayDex x

Hi Kwik,

I LOVE that you caused havoc in the airport - I'd have totally been the same! No harm in being over cautious.

Good news on the nether regions. It's hard to not try to second guess what's going on, isn't it? I was convinced with my first cycle that I felt totally different and definitely up-duffed! But then on cycles since not really felt it so much. Who knows hey? I have my fingers (and toes) crossed for you.

On the fertility lunch side of things, what have you been consuming? I've upped my dairy, someone told me eat an egg a day, also more milk (my lovely latte is now milk...! the things we do...), less caffeine, less alcohol (actually none of either so far this year), more nuts, pineapple but only up to turkey basting day, less red meat, more chicken/turkey, lots of protein, lots of mixed fruit and veg, and generally just trying to be a bit healthier (oh, and more water too). Any other suggestions?

TayDex x

Oops, looks like I spoke too soon. Clinic have just called to tell me it looks like we missed the ovulation again this cycle. Bums. Ah well, onwards and upwards... Speaking of which, Kwik - how often are you monitored by your clinic at this stage? Just want to compare and contrast really...

Now, should I break my dry January in order to celebrate / commiserate? It's not as if I'm not spending 1/2 my life off alcohol at the moment anyway because of these cycles!

Will book in an appointment with the clinic to see what's going on and why we keep missing it. Hopefully we can do another cycle soon. Fingers crossed.

TayDex x

Just found this link that I thought could be useful to others re. diet when trying to conceive:

www.mumsnet.com/conception/pre-pregnancy-diet

TD x

taydex how frustrating! whick opks have you been using? I normally scan every other day - I will dig out specifics when phone has charged... On tablet currently.

All symptoms have pretty much happened each cycle... Nether regions is down to progesterone gel I reckon and boobage is a classic pre-af sign....

I just had a thought as making my way through airport.... Not sure if I am prepared to use donor egg if it comes down to it... Hard to explain why but has made even more anxious that I get upduffed pronto!

Foods recommended: cinnamon (but needs to be from sri lanka not cassia type), sweet potatoes, milk, cheese esp cottage, avocados, eggs, omega rich fish but not too much tinned tuna due to mercury, cayenne pepper day of turkey basting, leafy greens.

Pineapple: many conflicting stories but this cycle have eaten 1/5 of a fresh pineapple including core for 5 days post insemination - supposed to help with implantation.

Have been cold today - trying to keep my feet warm at all times and to top it all I left my sleeping socks at home! Will have to sleep with my tights on!

Me again!

So on this cycle I had a day 2 baseline and then started injecting menopur day 3, every other day. Next scan was day 7 - largest follicle 11mm, then scan day 9 - largest follicle 15mm, day 11 scan - largest follicle 16mm then did bloods and they rang me in pm to say I had lh surge, to inject ovitrelle and had iui next day. Let me know if you want scan times for non-assisted cycle too taydex

Thanks for that Kwik. Medicated timings are fine, thank you. We've only dine medicated.

My wife and I have written a sht list of questions for the clinic when we have our appointment (mainly "how the flip do you keep messing up the timings", although I ended the list with "give me my records I'm going to another clinic cos you're sht! LOL). Feels good to get it down on paper. Will call them tomorrow and hopefully get appointment with consultant to work out how we make this work (I suspect closer/daily monitoring).

Hope your trip goes well.

TD x

Ah thank you for being so open TayDex. It means a lot - Kwick has been really open too, and I really appreciate it. Any advice/help/experience I can get is really good, means I can go into this knowing what I'm talking about so the people at the clinic I choose to go to know I'm serious, and know this isn't just a half-hearted decision I've chosen to make.

I'm really gutted that they've missed your ovulation yet again. I take it they're not open weekends?? Do you still have to pay for the abandoned cycle, even though it's technically their fault?? Realistically they should be giving YOU money lol!

Hm, see, I was dead set on IVF before coming on MN because of the increased success rate. But seeing as I'm only 24 and have no problems whatsoever fertility wise (not sure if you read previous posts but my cycles are v regular - 29 days on the dot, so I can only assume everything's okay), IUI may work just as well for me, and it's less invasive. I think IUI is the one I'm going for now because of said reasons, but for reassurance, I think I'd do medicated IUI just for that extra bit of peace of mind. Do you do medicated or non-medicated? From what I can gather (I may be completely wrong!!) you're doing non-medicated?? How come you're not doing medicated (if you don't mind me prying)?
Ah there's nothing wrong with being a private person nobody apart from my mums side of the family know I'm doing this (we don't talk to my dads side), and they're all on board but I haven't plucked up the courage yet to tell my Godmothers, who are like my second mums (I have twin Godmothers - Mum's childhood best friends!) because I know they'd be against it as they're very traditional. But once I've done it and been successful, they can't say anything and will probably be excited at the prospect of having a God-Grandbaby! There's just some people in my life I couldn't tell until I'd done it and been successful.. You know?

I'm glad you don't think I'm too young. Mentally, I don't feel too young - I've always been mature for my age, always getting on with older women and women Mum's age - around 45 - so much better than women my own age. My group of friends are my Mum's group of friends, lol! I know maturity doesn't have an awful lot to do with it, but I guess what I'm trying to say is even though I'm young I've known since I was around 19 that I was ready for a baby. Down to past circumstances, I have no faith or trust in males at all, and cannot find anyone I'd trust enough to settle down with, let alone have a two week relationship with, even! I just feel ready. Have felt properly ready since last January, hence why I've been saving and saving my ass off since then. I can't wait til I get these next few months out the way!!

I've never even thought of getting NHS funding for this, because I just assumed that they wouldn't do it. Do you know if I could find anything more about this on the Internet? I can't find anything, but the again, I don't know if I'm searching for it right. Anything you could suggest/say on the matter would help - but you know what I'm doing this week or next week, right?! Going to see my GP

Ah see, I've looked at success rates too. From what I can gather the CARE Fertility in N'pton has decent success rates. Haven't really looked for success rates at LWC in Luton but I'll have to have a gander. Going for success rates is probably the most ideal thing to do. When to went to have a look at them, was it open evenings you went to? Or can you book, like, appointments and go during the week/weekend on your own? I think I'm too self conscious to go to an open evening/afternoon. I'm not quite sure why...

Haha I'll bare in mind that I may have to be forceful. When it's something I've set my heart on - like getting my puppy at 18 when I still lived at home - I was forceful and persuasive with my parents, and funnily enough, that same furbaby is laying across my feet as we speak

Thank you AGAIN for your input/help. I really love speaking to you ladies, you're keeping me sane and excited at the same time!! X

P.S. Thanks for the tips re diet. Doing a lot of it already but will def look in to cinnamon and cayenne.

Sorry to be pushy, but I'm not sure if you noticed my above post TayDex as we both posted at the same time..! How freaky! Xx

Sorry for being so pushy TayDex with my last post. It's just, I have burning questions and nobody else to answer them .

I have been researching on prices and I've suddenly had a 'light-bulb' moment - is the second round of non-medicated IUI cheaper? Thinking about it now, it may not be, but my reasoning is this - on the first round, you have to have the initial consultation, plus scans, plus bloods for Hep B/C, etc etc... I won't need them bloods again, will I? Plus, I wont need the initial scans again in non-medicated, because they would've (hopefully) already of cleared me of having good fertility? And I wouldn't need scans of when I'm ovulating and things because I'll be testing at home for the LH surge...

So will the cost of the second round of IUI JUST be a charge for the actual IUI itself (in the clinic I want to go to it would be £810) and the donor sperm at £760ish? Or is there hidden scans and tests and things that I haven't considered? Can't believe I haven't thought about this before! I could have the wrong end of the stick completely, and knowing me I have, but it's a burning question I have to ask.

Up again at 3am Kwick - only problem is I haven't been to sleep get through thinking about things!! x

I have emailed the two clinics I'm looking at (London Women's Clinic in Luton, and CARE in Northampton), and asked if they can give me a rough price on how much it'll all cost in total for IUI. I'm getting so frustrated and confused with trying to add it all up. I don't know whether I'm missing things or adding things in that don't need to be there, so I gave up and emailed the clinics. I hope they don't take too long to get back to me... Because it may work out that I've got enough pennies to do the first round now(ish)!
I wanted to save so I had a few rounds at least, but if I'm right about the second IUI being cheaper, i may have enough to do a few procedures anyway. We'll have to wait and see... Gosh, I'm excited.

PS, reason being is I was saving up for one round of IVF - but IUI works out a lot cheaper!

HiCaution,

Sorry, busy day at work, only just had chance to check here.

So, we are doing medicated IUI. To be honest I was just told by the clinic that that was what they did/recommended so I said OK then (trusting that they're the experts). Basically I inject Gonal F (follicle stimulating hormone) every evening from day 3 of cycle until scan shows/bloods show/wee strips show that I'm ovulating/big enough follicles to ovulate. Then I stop the Gonal F and take 1 x Ovitrelle injection. Then IUI 1 or 2 days after. I've not really had any issues with the medication (although I'm on low dose as no known problems, and that seems to be working). To start with I asked my wife to do the injections but after a few I was happy to do myself. They're pen things (like an anti-allergy pen), you click it round to the dose they tell you and inject. It's pretty simple and pain free in my opinion.

I know what you mean about only spilling the beans if/when there's success, I'm totally with you there. A couple of my friends and sister are aware we were considering this. And then 3 friends know we're actually going through with it. Not told others yet, I feel it's none of their business and am concerned some people might be like your Godmothers! I might tell some more family or friends at some point, I can see advantages and disadvantages both ways. We'll see.

GP appt is great news. As part of our NHS stuff we went to GP. She booked us in for all manner of blood tests/scans/etc. I can go through this with you at some point when I can remember what they all were. So all of that was done on the NHS before we went to the clinic and probably saved us a decent amount of money. We both had tests done as wasn't sure who would go through with it (see if 1 of us was better patient than the other type thing). I'll try and remember what we searched for online... Just trying to rush this off to you in lunch hour.

We went to open evenings/appts with the clinics. Generally they do them about once a month and get in anyone who's thinking they might want to go down this route. Plenty of gay and single people there so don't worry at all about that. No one judges. We're all in the same (ish) weird little boat here.

Ooh, furbabys! I love furbabies! Actually, that's where my username comes from - our two black labrador boys Taylor and Dexter :)

Off to read the next message - sometimes this cuts off if I write too long a reply!

TD x

Caution

Don't worry about being pushy, I know what it's like, I was in the same place as you a year or 2 ago. Just be aware that during work hours I can't really get on here much (or only on my phone which is sh*t when it comes to responding), so might be a bit of a delay in me replying - will try not to leave it too long!

TD x

Caution

So, costs wise all clinics vary, so I can only say what my clinic charge.

Initial consulation was I think about £100-200. So this is sort of a one off fee.

Next we took a donation of sperm as, well, we are both female and can't produce the stuff ourselves! And didn't want to use a known friend as thought things could get awkward. They actually give you a decent amount of info on possible donors so you can make a good decision on who to use. The reservation fee for this was £1000 but gives you 5 shots for that (incidentally our clinic gives you that £1000 back if it doesn't work with that donor). So this is sort of a one off fee.

Next the drugs we use, depends on what strength they put you on. I'm not a medical professional but would guess if no known issues or nothing comes up on tests (which hopefully NHS will do for free) then you should be on a low dose. So that's about £125 for me for Gonal F. Think it's then £60/70 for the Ovitrelle injection. And then £40 ish for Crinone gel. So per cycle that's just under £300 I think. Ish. Obviously depends on what medication your clinic puts you on etc.

Then for the IUI (turkey basting procedure) my clinic charges £1400 (can't remember the split but it's something like £800 for the procedure and £600 for the sperm). This includes scans, bloods, etc.

So, all in all, we pay about £1700 or just under per IUI cycle, with the £1100 ish up front as a one off. So that basically sounds like the same as your £810 plus £760 (might be that your clinic charge a little more per vial but not the £1000 up front). My maths says yours is £1570. You might have drugs on top of this of I would say £250/300 ish. Not sure. All clinics do things a bit differently.

My clinic is about £6-7K a pop for full on IVF. Means we can do about 4 cycles of IUI for the same money. Obviously the success rate is lower so you have to factor that in, but I would say given your age, no known problems (see what tests say) and what not that IUI would be a good option for you. Obviously the clinic may not think the same as me so I am really just guessing based on my own experience. I hope I'm not confusing things or saying the wrong thing in doing this.

And finally, you cannot ask too many questions of the clinic/potential clinic you will use. The amount of money we have to pay for this we need to feel comfortable and informed. That and I'm a bit of a control freak so I want and need to know everything that's happening/will happen/may happen and why.

TD x