The Brookers will get their BFP's by any means necessary, thats the definition of Brooking No Argument!

[EverythingIsTicketyBoo]

Your last thread got somewhat derailed so I thought I would treat you to a lovely shiny new place full of real open fires, fluffy blankets and an aga for baking bread and warming soups and stews. Back on with the job in hand ladies, lets have a round up of who's doing what and when.

Geek, hurray for AF! There's a sentence you don't see often on these threads.

Musical... poas! Poas! Pleeeeaaaase!

Catching up with all the Brookers threads. Go on, musical, POAS and make my visit worthwhile!

Still BFing quite a bit so my cycles are still pretty long and infrequent, but I'm desperately hoping DD2 will sleep through soon and that I'll get rest and then eventually a BFP... Ah, can hear someone crying in her cot!

Thanks for the birthday wishes brookers!!

So pleased AF landed Geek. Make the most of her, you'll miss her when she's gone

Fox, click on antenatal clubs. You can't miss us

maybe sorry I missed your brthday hope you had a lovely day x

Geeek glad you hear AF left mine and arrived at yours safe and sound.

Just a quickie from me brookers, hospital says no, and the ivf failed because of my 'reduced ovarian reserve' and nothing else. Also says no point doing IVF again so if I want to proceed I have to ook at other options. Totally sick of it all now, I just need to accept I can't have children and move on now I think Am upset because I was feeling really positive again until I read that stupid letter.

No advice, Scarlett, but just lots of hugs. That all sounds very hard.

Oh Scarlett lovely. I'm so sorry. Don't make any decisions about anything. I could feel you were more positive. Am here for hand holding x

Oh Scarlett. I'm so sorry.

oh scarlett what an awful letter to receive but as maybe says, don't make any decisions right now.Just try and be extra kind to yourself for a little while.

maybe I am also sorry I missed your birthday hope you had a good one?

scarlett my love that is utterly shit. I'm so sorry, and angry on your behalf. Take all the time you need, and remember you have many hands to hold here. I am only a pm/fb msg/text away if you want to have a rant xx

Oh scarlett that sounds like an awful letter to receive If you don't mind me asking, what are your options? I'm sure you don't need to give up - you'll get there

Scarlett, lots of hand holding here too. As others have said, you don't have to make any decisions yet.

Geek, I didn't know there was such a thing as a pre BFP cold. Would make sense though. Last time I felt very run down (and I always get colds when run down! ). Hmm. Hope AF is behaving herself.

Too and Dino.. too early! If I OVed when I suspect I could be 9DPO. But I could also only be 6. Either way.. not wanting to POAS for a while. No date in mind though..

Ooh Dino. A BFP for you would also be fabulous!

Oh Scarlett what a horrible letter :( I'm so sorry. X

If anyone can let me know how to switch my brain off for a couple of months that would be a huge help

Thanks everyone, I do feel like I've been more taking than giving on this thread of late, sorry, you are all so lovely and the next meet up I promise I will come and the first coffees are on me [tea]

Good chat with OH last night, the problem is I feel like the NHS have been trying to shoehorn me into donor eggs since the first appt with twunty consultant 18 months ago. Whatever we decide we will have to pay for it so it's not going to be in the next few months. I do think I would like to see a private consultant who specialises in this for an informed second opinion. I think I need to do a lot more work on understanding the donor egg situ, especially epigenetics as I think this may help me put some of my reservations to bed. It might be a good idea to talk to someone who has been there, I might see if sweetie is up for a coffee in the new year as she lives near my mum I also think my time with that NHS clinic is done, I need to mentally put my whole treatment cycle with that place to bed and move on.

OH wants me to cut back all the supplements to the bare minimum, go back to acu and have a straight 6 months drug/hormone/tablet free, he also has prescibed lots of sex and he thinks we should just go back to basics and use OPK's again so I can monitor my cycle and hopefully see it return to normal after all the interference, I think what he is trying to say is lets just go for it au naturel again for a while, just because the hospital think IVF won't work it still only takes 1 egg after all, and perhaps we just need to get back to basics for a time - also if the ultimate endgame is donor eggs, and it's just about me getting my head around it, then time is back on my side again, in donor recipient terms I'm still quite young [37 next month though argh].

I haven't got time to be jabbing/scanning/diffed in the next few months anyway lol, at least until after my skiing holiday in March, and I need a good 6 months to really get in to my new job without any distractions and get through probation lol

Sorry for the essay, happy friday one & all,

peace and love brookers xx

scarlett I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say you must never ever feel sorry for leaning on the thread for support, that is precisely what it is for and you ought to have lots of love and support after what you have been through it sounds like you had a really productive chat with your OH and it's great that you have things planned like a holiday and new job to hopefully keep you busy with other things for a little time while you get your head around the next steps for you

happy friday!

Scarlett, hope you're feeling ok. Your chat with OH sounds good. Talking to the delightful Sweetie sounds like an excellent plan, and moving on from your NHS clinic may be the wisest of moves.

As you can't see a private consultant for a couple of months, going back to basics sounds like a good plan - if nothing else to prepare your body for your next move :)

37 is still lovely and young - you have plenty of time :)

Scarlett seconding what Cake said, don't ever feel bad about needing support. Tis what we are here for!!

I think that's an amazing plan. Any money your cycles will calm right down and the accu I always found so relaxing. I think it's a brilliant idea to seek a second opinion and have a change of clinic. I always think understanding the science helps. It did me anyway. But I hate to break it to you. You so realise that a skiing holiday=ironic BFP don't you? . But you can't argue with a lot of sex . And we are always here for support. Yes indeedy x

Scarlet, sorry you didn't get the news you hoped for, but if there is the possibility that egg donation could work, maybe that's the path you need to take? I know someone in RL who confided in me when they were having difficulties ttc, she initially ruled it out as she felt it wouldn't feel like her baby, but after a long time and a persuasive DH, she changed her mind, and ended up having twins and after 9 months of carrying them, pretty much EBF'ing them for more than 6months, she views them as hers, and her only slight regret is not doing it years earlier, but then as she says, if she'd done it earlier, it would have been a different child or children rather than the two she has.

Just in case anyone doesn't know, I have my house on the market as I want to sell my house to move closer to my family. It is a luvverly house, and its for sale and its in Cambridgeshire ;). It has a study and a massive lounge and a dining room, and a playroom and 5 bedrooms, so ideal for growing families.....if anyone happens to be wanting to move to Cambridgeshire, with a station about 5 miles away for anyone who should need to commute to London and a couple of minutes drive from the A14 which links you to a big road that goes to Essex.... Just saying ;)

Sounds like a really productive chat with DH scarlett. Agreeing with everyone else's very wise and supportive words. Look after yourself

(((massive hugs))) for scarlett Never, ever apologise for needing to use the thread, this is exactly why we are all here - to support others when we can, and to get support when we most need it. That sounds like a really good chat you had with DH. Some time off from the stress of it all, and just getting back to basics sounds like a great idea. And of course do remember that our very own smegs was on the low end of low AMH if I remember rightly. A meet-up with sweetie sounds fab, I am sure you'd be able to get loads of answers. I know it's hard, but it sounds like you need to put your time with the NHS clinic, and all the negative feelings that created, behind you at least in terms of which way you want to go forward. Yes, they were trying to shoehorn you from the beginning, you had a really twunty consultant and it was so not the right thing for you then. That doesn't mean it might not be the right thing for you now though, so don't let that clinic put you off an avenue of treatment. Consider it despite them, not because of them. My only other bit of advice is to be really honest with yourself about your own feelings for different types of treatment. Sometimes it can take a while to even know what our reasons for objecting are.

PS, madam, 37 is not old

afternoon brookers, how goes the weekend? hopefully plenty of mulled wine for all?

DH has abandoned me this weekend so I am all alone save for the hound for company (and the trusty cast of Game of Thrones ) . But trust today to be the day I get a positive opk, bloody DH and his bloody trip away I don't think Thursday night and tomorrow night swi will cut it

Morning ladies!

cake oooh the thought of a DH free weekend spend with the cast of GoT sounds bliss to me! I reckon you'll be fine with your positive OPK, you don't ov until approx 24-48 hours after your peak so get smacking that rat tonight

AF's on her way out the door for me, hopefully that's the last I see of her for three twelve months. Feeling really rotten atm but think it's a combination of things - cold/flu, prostap and AF. Had hoped to get back into exercising from tomorrow but I have one or two social events every evening this coming week, meaning some evenings I won't even have time to eat, let alone turn myself into a gasping, sweaty mess of womanhood with Jillian Michaels!

Morning

Sorry I've been a bad brooker lately.

Scarlett I'm really sorry to hear about your pct letter, the insensitive twunts. Going back to basics sounds like a brill idea while you and DH think about your next steps. I think talking to Sweetie will really help as well. I can highly recommend it as she is lovely
I've been going to a support group at my clinic every few weeks and we talked about donor eggs and sperm a few weeks ago. It was a really interesting discussion. I know you are not sure if it's something you could do but I think that because the stupid nhs kept pushing you towards it it's been hard for you to think about it properly. Hopefully you and DH will have the time and space to think it all through

Geek I'm glad AF finally sorted herself out. I hope you enjoyed her visit as I'm sure you won't be getting many more visits!! Sorry your feeling a bit rubbish. Have you got anything nice planned for today?

Cake a weekend alone sounds like bliss! My DH has been in London this weekend. I've had my nan staying though so I've not been able to make the most of it. Get smacking that rat when he gets back, I'm sure you'll be covered. Remember sperm can last 5 days

AFM I've got a dilemma. I got a letter from pct yesterday saying that my remaining 2 cycles can be transferred to the private clinic. I don't know what to do! I'm really torn. I know I said I would probably stay with the nhs clinic for this go but now I'm not sure. I keep thinking that my chances would be higher at the private clinic. I haven't spoke to DH yet but I know he'll probably want me to make the decision.

Pros and cons of each cups? Do us a list...?

Sounds tricky Cups. What are the disadvantages to moving to the private clinic - was it that you might have to wait longer if you transfer to the private clinic now?

Sorry to hear you're feeling rotten Geek. Lovely name by the way :) Glad AF is on her way out for the last time for months years !

Loopy, ooh, whereabouts in Cambridgeshire? We are looking at parts of Cambs, but I think moving there is unlikely due to the prices/distance. As we're not looking to move until end of next yr probably we're only looking at new builds at the moment really - will look at 'older' houses in a couple of months, when we have more of a timescale in mind!

Cake hope you've had a lovely DH free weekend! Sounds great to me . I'm sure your SWI will have been sufficient.

We've had a real SWI fail this week, due to busy-ness, DH being away, and DD's teeth - honestly, you'd think she doesn't want a brother or sister! Still feeling odd, achey and coldy... but everyone in the house has a cold so I suspect that's not a symptom! If the crampy-ness a couple of weeks ago was OV, I could be around 12DPO (or 10)... but not holding up much hope!