Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Anyone tried Softcups?

33 replies

murielspark · 06/09/2013 10:24

Hello all,

I've heard good things about softcups for ttc. I was just about to buy some on amazon but then noticed that they're quite expensive. We've been TTC for 6/7 months now and we'd like to try anything that could help.

TMI, but oftentimes after we've done the deed, the spermies make a beeline for the exit and can be found milling around the wrong end of my vagina. This despite some expert anti-gravity sex positions and hubby staying in for a while after the event. So I figured popping a Softcup in there would keep them in the right place.

Do you think they're worth it? Any success stories? Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 12:36

Ah feck it, I just bought some Blush

I must have spent at least fifty quid on my uterus in the last week. It's got more gadgets than I have! Shock

OP posts:
KatAndKit · 06/09/2013 12:49

They are pointless for ttc. They are for collecting menstrual blood. Healthy sperm that are capable of fertilizing an egg zoom right through yourcervix before you have finished you kiss and cuddle. What is left in your vagina is seminal fluid and dud sperm that fell at the first hurdle so there is no point letting them hang around up there. What is leaking out will also be the semen that the sperm were swimming in rather than the sperm themselves. Anti gravity sex is also not necessary, just do it however you enjoy. Lying down for a few minutes afterwards wont do any harm and anyway it isn't very romantic to leap right out of bed.

if you have money to spend on ttc i recommend using it on something proven to help such as ovulation testing or a clear blue fertility monitor.

Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 14:04

Thanks for your opinion. Maybe a tad tactless and patronising, but thanks. The reason I bought them is that there have been a lot of success stories (I realise these can be coincidence), and the company that makes them is currently applying to the FSA to be known as a registered fertility aid.

My phrase 'anti-gravity sex' was a joke. What I meant was that we weren't woman-on-topping the whole time or anything.

I feel like shit now to be honest, I thought this forum would be a bit more supportive Sad

OP posts:
RaRaZ · 06/09/2013 14:38

Hey Muriel. Sorry you feel bad right now, but don't be disheartened! There's been a lot of debate on here about ways to keep the sperm in after sex and whether it actually makes any difference, and I don't believe any definite conclusions have been reached either scientifically or on Mumsnet. However, it can't do any harm to try and keep them in, can it? Plenty of women swear by the legs-up-in-the-air method and some gynaes advise missionary or doggy as being best for conception. I guess the logic behind using a softcup, or mooncup as I know them, is the same. I used mine once this month when I had to jump up and head straight to work after a quickie - saved wet messy knickers at least! Blush

Best of luck - and if you think using a softcup may help, do it. Like I said, it certainly can't do any harm, and if it gives you confidence/positivity/etc, that's a bonus. If it gets you pg, mission accomplished. Good luck!

Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 14:59

Thanks RaRaZ Smile You're right that it certainly can't do any harm, and I'm also hopeful it could help because of specific things about us (I have hostile cm and a slightly oddly positioned cervix, apparently, and my DH is in his forties now so his sperm could perhaps use a little nudge, maybe). Something to hold the swimmers at the cervix is certainly better than knowing they're all spilling out straight afterwards like they were last night Blush

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm guessing that people who don't take long to conceive would be more likely to dismiss products like Softcups as being unnecessary, because they didn't happen to need or use them, whereas those who are taking longer (like me at this stage) will be more open to new possible aids. I'm scientifically-minded and don't fall for scams or snake oil, so don't really see why the first poster had to put in me in my place like that Hmm

OP posts:
OhBuggerMe · 06/09/2013 15:14

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

eurochick · 06/09/2013 15:25

kat gave you good advice. If you want to reject it, that's up to you, but it doesn't stop it being good advice.

95% of swimmers in a normal sample are duds. It is these that fall out. The good ones shoot up through the cervix. So buying a cup that holds defective sperm half way up the fanjo is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard.

valiumredhead · 06/09/2013 15:28

People use moon cups for this, better than soft cups I would imagine.

CatsCantFlyFast · 06/09/2013 15:40

Muriel I would gently suggest you read the post again, IMO there is nothing tactless or patronising about it. You asked a question and got an answer. To then get snidey because it wasn't the answer you wanted, and to insinuate other posters have not been trying very long was unfair and out of order. I'd suggest you ask before assuming how long people have been trying, as in this case you are wrong and were rude

CatsCantFlyFast · 06/09/2013 15:42

Plus the response was supportive as it suggested that you should try a proven alternative instead

Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 15:47

OhBuggerMe you're right, I haven't spent much time on these boards. I'm new here. On other forums I've been a member of for longer, it's not really usual to get someone offering TTC advice without also being, you know, nice, so I guess I have some adjusting to do. I apologise for my bad form if that's what you think it is. TTC is stressful and horrible and I suppose some of us feel more fragile than others about it. I'm aware of all the facts in Kat's post - I know about dud sperm, seminal fluid, and so on. I've been TTC for a while now, so I also know about OPKs and the like. I have no problem with disagreement - I just don't like the assumption that I'm naive and need educating.

eurochick I'm not rejecting Kat's advice (I can't now anyway as I'd already bought the cups when she posted), I'm rejecting the manner in which it was given. I've been TTC for 7 months now, they have not been easy or straightforward, but Kat's answer assumed I had no clue what I was doing and wasn't exactly very friendly.

valium I've read that mooncups sit lower down and therefore aren't as good Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 15:50

Notwithoutmymerkin I guess I'm on my own on this one, oh well. Certainly did not mean to seem snidey. God, what a disaster area I seem to be today. Ignore me. TTC is obviously screwing me up. Sorry everybody.

OP posts:
eurochick · 06/09/2013 16:02

This can be a very supportive place. I've had a lot of support from the folks on here. And you got an answer to your OP within a couple of hours (even if it was an answer you didn't like!).

I know when you have been ttc a while, it can be tempting to try anything, but 7 months really isn't all that long so you really don't need to be clutching at straws. Get/stay healthy, dtd regularly and most people (85%) will get pregnant in a year. Most of the rest (another 10%) will get pregnant in the second year. For the remaining 5%, there's science to help things along.

OhBuggerMe · 06/09/2013 16:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

CatsCantFlyFast · 06/09/2013 16:11

Everyone has a bad day occasionally OP. good luck with your TTC and FX it happens soon for you

QueLinda · 06/09/2013 16:14

I conceived DD by using a softcup, I used OPKs and because we didn't always feel like doing the deed at the exact right time I used them like you would if you were using a sperm donor. Conceived after six months.

It's worth a try even if you use them after ttc in the normal way. Good luck.

eurochick · 06/09/2013 16:15

The fertility industry is a bit like the wedding industry - designed to screw hard earned cash out of people in a highly emotionally charged situation.

Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 16:19

Thanks folks. And apologies for blundering into your chat fred in case you haven't seen that yet Blush

You are right, I shouldn't be clutching at straws just yet. I was already feeling pleased with myself for deciding against obvious snake oil scams like Fertile CM pills. Smile

Sorry to hear of your miscarriages OhBuggerMe, that must be so effing tough.

Time for me to chill the hell out for a bit, I don't know what's got into me this cycle.

OP posts:
Original poster
murielspark · 06/09/2013 16:22

QueLinda thanks, good to hear Smile I'll give the cups a whirl since I've bought them. Never know, they might do something.

The wedding industry comparison's a good one - I stayed well clear of all that so will have to take some of my old resolve and apply it to this. I've always been a worrier, godammit.

OP posts:
xMrsD · 06/09/2013 16:28

Thanks to OP for the post as its something i had been thinking about too and thanks also for the great advice KatandKit- Im not really up on the details of how sperm works so your explanation was really helpful for me, has made me feel less worried about leakage and saved me some pennies (yay!) :-) x

cookielove · 06/09/2013 17:27

muriel ttc is such a roller coaster. I got cross at dh when he wouldn't go on top cause I was so sure that was the way it needed to be done Blush I also stuck my legs in the air on more than one occasion Blush but what does it really matter when it's in the confines of your own bedroom!

We had been trying for over 6 months. And were about to take a break (due to an unavoidable holiday in 2014) so gave it our all in the last few months. I invested in cheap opks from wilko's and started doing the sperm meets egg plan. It worked for us. 10+1 now.

Good luck op. It will be you time soon.

RaRaZ · 06/09/2013 17:29

Muriel: Why is your MC hostile? Too acidic? Or wrong consistency? Conceive Plus lube might help with that.

And, if it's not too personal, how is your cervix in a funny position?

Flixy102 · 06/09/2013 17:55

Apparently I have a strange positioned cervix. When I was having my HSG the gynaecologist said he nearly had to call a search and rescue team to find it Blush

Hasn't stopped me conceiving tho so hopefully it won't stand in the OPs way either.

RaRaZ · 06/09/2013 20:59

HSG?? Lol Flixy - but seriously, how hard to find can it be?! Hmm

PramQueen1971 · 06/09/2013 21:54

Muriel you sound such a fragile, sensitive soul. Are you sure you're ready for a baby?

Swipe left for the next trending thread