September bus (PART 3!) Boy we're a chatty lot

[DisneyDiva87]

BFPs so far
NannyPlumForPM
mrsmummytobe
BushPrincess

3 BFPs

Awaiting BFPs
JellyBeanDavey ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 1st
JosiePosiePuddingAndPie ttc#2, cycle2, bfp 1st
PinkHat1 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 1st
Justhayley ttc#2 cycle 5 (months 10) BFP 2nd
clareyfarey ttc#1, cycle 3, bfp 3rd
Widget88: TTC #1, Cycle3, BFP 4th
Hendricks ttc#3, cycle2, bfp 5th
Chubbykitty ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 5th
VickyVix ttc#1, cycle1, bfp 5th
Bloumermaid Ttc #1 cycle? BFP 6th
RaRaZ ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 7th
mama31 ttc#2, cycle1, bfp 7th
Positivementakattitude ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 7th
Nulanoo ttc#1, cycle1, bfp 8th
Gingerandcocoa ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 9th
GinandStripes ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 9th
Purplegeekygirl ttc#2, cycle13, bfp 9th
Flame40s ttc#3, cycle2, bfp 9th
Dontsqueezetheteabag ttc#1, cycle1, bfp 10th
MrsHende TTC #2 Cycle 11(!) BFP 10th
ScienceGeekGirl TTC #1 cycle 6 BFP 10th
Englishteacher78 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 11th
Owlie84 ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 11th
Jaykay987 ttc#1, cycle1, bfp 17th
KillashandraRee ttc#2, cycle4, bfp 13th
blamber ttc#1 cycle1, bfp 13th
CoffeeGuzzler ttc#1, cycle1, bfp 14th
Refoca ttc#2, cycle1, bfp 14th
Toffeecrispyum ttc#2, cycle1, bfp 14th
Charleslingus ttc#3, cycle3, bfp 15th
SoMuchFruit ttc#2, cycle2 bfp 15th
Snoozysleeper ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 16th
panicmechanic ttc#2, cycle10, bfp 17th
Mistyautumn ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 18th
Italianwilking84 ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 18th
Worried ttc#2, cycle18, bfp 19th
Spirael TTC#2 Cycle 1 BFP 19th
Choccywoccydodah ttc#2 cycle 1 BFP 20th
coco808 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 21st
Cupcake1985 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 21st
Fox82 ttc#1, cycle10, bfp 21st
dutchss ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 21st
chattychattyboomba ttc#?, cycle2, bfp 22nd
PinkHat1 ttc#1, cycle3, bfp 22nd
Purplegeekygirl ttc#2 cycle 14 bfp due 22nd
Bambi27 ttc#2, cycle10, bfp 24th
crazylady2013 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp 24th
Choccywoccydodah ttc#2, cycle1, bfp 24th
onelifeonechance ttc#1, cycle 3, bfp 24th
NottaLotta ttc#1 c3 bfp 24th
Pocopearl ttc 2 cycle 1 bfp 25th
ImaginaryHat ttc#1 cycle5 bfp 25th
ExactlyWhat ttc#3 cycle1, bfp 25th
Leezl, ttc#1, cycle 2, bfp 25th
Wispaxmas ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 25th
cheesysmile ttc#1, cycle 3, bfp 26th
Greenface ttc #1, cycle 2, BFP due 26th
fifi669 ttc#2, cycle6, bfp 28th
Daisychain44 ttc#2, cycle7, bfp 28th
Monkette ttc#?, cycle?, bfp 28th
MrsB2013 ttc #1 cycle 2 bfp 28th
mama31 ttc#2, cycle 3, bfp 28th
gillywillywoo ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 29th
DisneyDiva87 ttc#1, cycle4, bfp 29th
Armylovin ttc #2 cycle 8 bfp due 30th
Lucyfluff TTC#4, cycle 2, BFP 30th
Willows tree ttc#2, cycle1, bfp?
Theborrower ttc#2, cycle2, bfp?
M33r ttc#1, cycle9, bfp?
Seatfor5 ttc#4, cycle5, bfp?
internationallove985 ttc#?, cycle?, bfp?
ThoraNomiki ttc#2, cycle3, bfp?
onefunkymama ttc#3, cycle?, bfp?
Rockyroller123 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp?
VJONES1985 ttc#1, cycle2, bfp?
BlueC2 ttc#?, cycle?, bfp?
Lulubelle26 ttc#1 cycle3, bfp ?
DuPainDuVinDuFromage ttc#2, cycle 1, bfp?
Pencilsandprams ttc#2, on cycle 4 bfp?
onefunkymama, TTC #3 Cycle 5 bfp ?

[VJONES1985]

International - I don't agree with people saying you don't deserve a child as much as others do. I can think of some terrible parents who do not deserve to be blessed with children and I'm sure you're not one of them. However, I do agree entirely with mama when she says you are playing with fire and messing with this man's feelings. Just think about if this would be an ideal situation for all three of you.

Anyway, good luck and I hope no one gets hurt.

[VJONES1985]

By the way, International, just out of interest - did you consider using a sperm bank at all?

[internationallove985]

Thankyou coffee for such an open minded post. I do know what I'm doing though I do nothing but think about it.
I think if I'm totally honest the comment that I'm less deserving of having another baby upset me the most, so your comment means a lot.
Also hope you're well.
xx

[wispaxmas]

International, my comment was more about how the father will feel, and protecting yourself from future issues involving custody and other such disputes.

It's a very emotional thing to have a child, not just for the mother. Have you considered his feelings? Does he want children? If you know he doesn't and you go ahead trying you're being ridiculously unfair to him, as even if you say it's just your child and he doesn't need to be a part of raising it, it will undoubtedly effect him emotionally, as he would in effect be abandoning his child, whether he was tricked into it or not.

If he does want children, surely you could discuss it with him.

We're just preaching honesty in your real life as you are honest on here. I know it's difficult, but it's just not fair to him unless you are.

I would say this to anyone else on here who is doing the same thing, but as I cannot have even imagined anyone doing what you are doing before you said it, I highly doubt there are many, if any, other women on here trying to trick their f*ck buddy into having a baby.

[internationallove985]

Hi VJONES. Thank you also for not being judgemental In regards to a sperm donor, well they cost money and at least he deposits for free and takes me for meals ect and buys me nice things so perhaps he's more serious about me than I think he is. Well he must have liked something about me or he wouldn't have asked for my number after our first encounter. x

[internationallove985]

Oops. I missed the full stop out after the word judgmental. x

[jessieagain]

I understand international and I would do the same if i were in the same situation and the clock was ticking.

I don't think going to a 'sperm bank' is that easy either. And you don't really get to know the sperm donor from a profile.

Also she has already been a single mum, so she knows what to expect in a worse case scenario. And the best case scenario would be great and lots of accidental (and most likely 'accidental' pregnancies) end up as happy families.

Also who on here can 100% guarentee that their relationship will last, I know so many people who divorce/separate from their partner before their child is at school.

[mama31]

Oh my!!!!! I'm no longer confused re opks!!! I thought I ovulated straight after af as had a 2nd line almost as dark as the control line! But now I know.....today is a definate positive on opk as the test line is waaaaaaaay darker than the control line....I can't quite believe it....after dtd 8 times over the last week I am only approaching ovulation now! Lol

Good news for my DH then.....I must keep shagging!!!!!! Ps he's very happy that I got it wrong and have to keep dtd as much as pos!!!!

Yay!!!!! To the positive opk!! Excited I ovulate!!!!! :)

[VJONES1985]

That's true. Could you not talk to him about your relationship in general and find out how serious he is and if he wants it to be long-term, etc? That way you can gauge how it might go if you announces you were pregnant. If he seems like a man who would run for the hills, I would have a serious think about this situation. And if you think being a single parent without him sounds great at the moment, just consider what might happen in the future when your child gets older.

[VJONES1985]

Jessie - I don't think the point is about whether or not it will last, it's about the deception. Whether it's a casual relationship or a serious one, don't you think the man has a right to a say about his involvement? He is a person after all!

[internationallove985]

Hi Wispa. I'm not saying other women are trying to trick a fuck buddy like I am. but they could be pretending to take the pill ect. Not particularly on here but also in R.L. These things do happen. x

[GillyBillyWilly]

International I'm sure you will be a great mum and you have the right to have children and a family... you are entitled to that as much as anyone else.

But you're being so dishonest and I think it's terrible.
To me there's absolutely no justifying what you're doing.

Hence I said you're being a prick. Sorry.... But, like I said, I'd say that to my best friend if I found out she was doing the same thing.

I feel sorry for the guy you're endlessly fucking. He's obviously having a great time ... but with no idea of your intentions.... I couldn't do it myself. You obviously don't have any respect for the guy because else you surely wouldn't be doing this?

[mama31]

Ps how many days should I dtd after a pos opk???

[jessieagain]

I thought the comment about international being less deserving of a bfp very unkind :(

Where does this type of thinking end? Who is the most deserving of a bfp?

[jessieagain]

Men do have some say over contraception. They are not helpless.

[GillyBillyWilly]

STOOOOPPPPP!

Alight here and hop on the new bus please ladies!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/1853398-The-magical-mystery-flying-fabulous-September-bus-PART-4

[internationallove985]

Hi Jessie. Thankyou for not passing judgment. I also thought the comment about me being less deserving was very unkind especially after having suffered a m/c. I know the poster did/may not have known that but that's why people should really think about what they post as comments on here can hurt as much as they do in R.L. xx

[CoffeeGuzzler]

mama Start dtding!! Keep on doing it for the next four or five days.

[VJONES1985]

Hmm yeah, the bit about contraception is what has left me wondering. If a woman said she is on the pill when she isn't, then that's a lie. But if the guy has never spoken about contraception and just assumes that it is happening,then he is just as bad.

Mama I would dtd for the next four days after a pos opk.

[MrsB2013]

Disney I know how you feel

DH nagged for ages for me to stop taking the pill and to start ttc, so I did, this is our 2nd cycle now. We have only managed to dtd on CD 15 and 16 this cycle. He did have man flu, so I'll let him off for that, but the last 2 nights he's been out with friends and got drunk. It's so frustrating, I told him before we started ttc that he needs to cut down on the drinking at weekends, but so far that's not happened I know we need to still enjoy ourselves, but surely it's not too much ask?

[GillyBillyWilly]

Please jump on the new thread ladies!!!

This one will be full soon.

[ItalianWiking84]

International: I have make friends who has been trapped in being a father the way you do and without going in to many details, it has absolutely had a enormous impact on their life, one had to take full custody because the mom got a after birth depression, so he had to give up his present relationship (the mom and dad weren't together after she got pregnant, she got what she want and dump him) stop his education to get a full time job and rechange his whole life... He is now a single parent and of course he loves his son but he is getting council now because he has lost trust in women...
Another friend of mine was told after the birth if his son by the grandmother to the child who thought he ought to know, and now he is fighting to have the right to see his son and the mom is doing anything to not let this happen...
I feel for my friends and personally I would never cheat anybody in to being a parent, an accident can happen yes and I do think a man should also think of conception but being dishonest can have great impact on the man for the rest of his life... Just my opinion

[onefunkymama]

Yes international, what Gilly said. I totally agree.

[lucyfluff]

I just wanted to say I WASNT implying international less deserving of getting a bfp. That was misunderstood...and Im sorry if that caused you offence esp after mc.

I dont agree with what what your doing and really think you need to talk to your partner. Like others have said on here, its not just the getting pregnant its the whole package.

Each to their own though!!!!

[onefunkymama]

Freaked out this morning, I did another Early Predictor test this morning and again a faint positive. Then I looked online at reviews and loads of people say this brand has given them false positives, can't get to the shops until tomorrow. Totally confused, and concerned!