The Elderberry Pavlovas- All aboard the Berrycopter. Thread 14

[funkymonk]

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months, NO instadiffers, must have a special pot) and def no mention of baby dust or baby dancing UGH !!! Ooh we are strict...please note your house may be at risk if you do not keep up repayments lol

Yes Happy, day 5 on the aofa watching murder mysteries and trying to get some knitting done as the last 4 days have taught me lesson planning doesn't happen just by having the laptop open on your knee all day with the relevant documents ready

An afoa is like a sofa but better, in case anyone was wondering.

Morning!

barking there isn't much more for me to say other than us berries are here for you x

Bad merk !

Oh boodle that's crappy! I will probably be joining you by the end of the week!

Heading from the duvet of despair to the desk of depression today, not quite where I thought life would be on our second anniversary

I am v jealous of your aofa

Hi all

Just popping in to see how everyone is, missing you guys up in the copter! Can echo Thunder's promise that pram chat is vile strictly a no-go area!

Who is pimping today? Kitty, Bunny?? Good luck!

Boodle sorry this wasn't your month

Is your appt today Yorkie? Hope it goes well!

Rum this here courgette and lime cake....recipe?! In return, I have brought my slightly less exciting offer of warm scones with clotted cream, made for an afternoon tea hen party (don't ask) this afternoon!

And a massive wave to all that I haven't name checked!

Boom great to see you. How's things? Have you started the new job yet?

Hi barking hope you managed to get some sleep last night and have the boxsets/good tv lined up for today. I'm around
working from home if you need someone to chat to.

So sorry af got you boodle

So got back from my fc appt and still as confused as ever unfortunately. My fsh levels came back as 11 which is slightly lower than my last lot but still higher than they want to see. My hsg was all clear and my progesterone is slightly low - its 27 and they like to see over 30. Anyway, they hadn't bloody seen the letter I sent through to them about my amh so had to go through that with them. So up until that point my fsh was worrying, then as soon as he saw the amh he suddenly dismissed my fsh saying that amh is more accurate (but they don't do do the tests on the nhs) and the results show decent levels suggesting okay ovarian reserve. I tried to mention about the private consultant suggesting that it could be a sign of multicystic ovaries masking my true amh but this was dismissed out of hand.

So, the consultant wants me to go on clomid for 6 months which doesn't fill me with confidence considering my fsh levels. I've read that it can raise your fsh levels and my ovarian reserve is only going to get worse not better. He won't monitor me and I have to do it for 6 months before I will be even considered for ivf referral. He also said that in the meantime my fsh could go up and the cut off for nhs is 15 meaning I would be refused nhs ivf treatment if it was higher than this. It's amazing how one minute the fsh levels are irrelevant when I presented them with my amh figure but as soon as referrals are mentioned fsh suddenly becomes so much more important again! Basically I have to jump through a load of hoops to be referred and there is the possibility of not getting any referral at the end of it.

Anyway, the nurse at the private consultation we had suggested having a antral follicle count to get a better indication of reserve and a monitored cycle to see if multicystic ovaries are causing any problems. This obviously is going to cost alot of money but I think I need to do this as I'm so confused about what the hell is going on. I have just rung up the private clinic and waiting for them to call me back as they need to check if I can have the afc and monitored cycle done if I am on clomid.

Sorry for the long winded response. I don't know how I feel about this all and whether playing the nhs waiting game is going to cause more harm than good. Any advice oh wise berries?

oh and thanks so much for all your good luck messages. It really helped when I was sat in the waiting room looking at pg ladies and shaking with fear!

Oh gosh yorkie more confusion was exactly what I was hoping would be AVOIDED by this appointment! Damnit. How annoying. BUT it's not terrible news as you feared, so that's one good thing.

I'm really sorry that I can't offer any good advice on what should actually be the next steps/impact of clomid but I reckon you should go for the private appointment. Can the private advice supersede the NHS one and still get you on the list for ivf if appropriate? It sounds like they are much more helpful than the NHS one in terms of doing the tests and giving you real information that you can actually understand and work with.

boodle you're not out just yet! Temps aren't that reliable!

barking any better?

Well I pimped with a ic this morning and the usual result. Will keep going until the fat lady sings. Although I knew it was a slim chance the iui would work, I'm glad we've tried it (still 2 to go). At least we can say that ivf is definitely the way forward

yorkie sorry for the further confusion. It sounds like standard NHS treatment though unfortunately. 6 months unmonitored on clomid then a further referral. No interest in anything you have to say as you've probably just been googling (pretty much what the consultant said to me).

Hope the private clinic get back to you and are more knowledgeable.

yorkie have you had a trans vaginal scan to confirm multicystic ovaries? Will the fc at least monitor your progesterone on clomid. Personally, in hind sight of previous clomid and multicystic ovaries I would pay for at least 1 cycle with scans. I wasn't monitored and they now feel that I had 2 many non dominant follicles on clomid but we'll obviously never know.

Just a thought- how does private fc cost compare with private ivf? It might be that either way you want to save your money towards private ivf if that's going to be more likely to be successful? Depends how private fc is likely to help you I think.

Sorry to add more questions!

I'm good thanks Happy, no idea when the job starts but not until I get my registration through, so October at the earliest I should think.

Yorkie sadly that sounds so similar to my last FC appt. It seems to me that on the NHS you aren't allowed to question any arbitrary decisions made by power-mad consultants! And the right hand never seems to know what the left is doing. Of course it depends on cost, but I do think if you can afford private then you stand a much better chance of success. Isn't it ironic, I spent months trying to get clomid and they wouldn't give me any, but they hand it out like sweeties to anyone it probably won't work for! I hope your private clinic at least manages to clear up some of the confusion for you x

Kitty stupid ic not giving the answer you wanted. What cd are you now? It ain't over til it's over!

Bunny have some and for your anniversary! Sorry you're feeling low, will the husband do something nice to cheer you up later do you think?

kitty sorry you got a bfn. It's not over yet though and I've still got your fx for you for the next two cycles though.

Thanks for your advice ladies. kitty I had a scan done in 2010 which showed multicystic ovaries but two done this year with no mention of it so no it hasn't been confirmed recently but shown in the past. NHS want to do another two months testing fsh and day 21 levels and want to see me again in after two cycles time to discuss how I've responded to clomid. I asked the consultant if they would monitor (do a scan) me on clomid and he said nah!

In the meantime I think I will definitely have the private monitored cycle and they can also do the afc as another ovarian reserve check. I agree kitty I think the monitored cycle is important as I've read with multicystic ovaries you could be more susceptible to OHSS. The nhs consultant talked to me about this and scared the hell out of me!

How are you doing today barking?

Sorry kitty

No better here. More blood & clots, more cramps, same old.. Scared myself silly when I realised I could potentially be bleeding like this for another 3 weeks. Realisation dawned today that I'm 99% likely to be miscarrying right now. Can't stop crying . The idea of pimping in a couple of weeks for a bfn to check it's all gone is so depressing after it took 22 cycles to get a bfp. And I really wish I hadn't eagerly worked out my predicted due date, it's branded across my mind already. I also need to get rid of the images in my head of me with a bump on my wedding day. I'm basically driving myself insane and feel like I'm speeding down a hill with no brakes, just waiting for the inevitable crash.

Those of you who've been here, how the hell did you pull yourself out of it?

thunder it's going to cost around £600 for private fc consultant with an afc and monitored cycle. Gulp!

I think I'm going to try and sell my wedding dress to put towards it!

barking so sorry you feel so down. If it is a mc you have plenty of us on here that know exactly how you're feeling and how you're going to feel and we're with your every step of the way. The best advice I can give is to deal with one day at a time. You're in limbo land at the moment not knowing what the hell is going on and waiting for an appt. Not knowing is the worst for me I think because you're not in control in the situation and you don't know how to move forward. Whatever, happens tomorrow you'll have a better idea of what the hell is happening. As I said we're here for you and can understand how you're feeling x

Bunny happy anniversary; I hope you two can do something fun tonight

Blind you and I have the same attitude; there's comfort in the idea of not jumping straight to IVF but I know it's disappointing all the same that the IUI didn't work this time. Big hugs to you. You can return the favor in a couple of weeks when I'll need some!

Barking really sorry this is happening and v glad they've brought your scan forward. Will be thinking of you every minute til then & hoping you get some good answers xx

Boodle & others thanks for the info re: clomid & weight gain. Accdg to Sir Google, it's a side effect in 1% of responders. Would explain why she couldn't narrow down whether avg gain was 1/2 stone or >3 stone but not explain why she thought it urgent enough to warn me about in the first place

Yorkie grr at your consultant!! Sneaky idea though, would it be possible to fake taking the clomid? if they aren't willing to monitor then it seems like a big risk to take; the cons outweigh the pros, or am I misreading your post? Barring that, if it were me, I'd definitely do the monitored cycle privately. From my private consultant's talk last week, I understand that they do 2 or 3 scans to make sure the clomid actually is working to make follicles mature, and then do a trigger to make them pop, so you know for sure that you're DTD at the right times. If you're already ovulating, then I would think clomid without monitoring would be just as effective as, say, temping or going by an app to tell you when your most fertile days are. I'm a bit spooked as my cons. said I'd ovulate Weds, and at the time I thought he was clearly mistaken as it was about 5 days before my FF app said I would - I am nearly positive he was right, judging by OPKs/cramping etc. I dread to think I've put us through months of heartache by relying on apps that could be that far off. If your FSH is getting near a cutoff, I'd say that you need to give the Clomid the best chance possible, or just not take it, wait the 6 months and hope the NHS will then give you IVF.

Sorry to not name-check everyone else with news; am trying to catch up on things!

oh Barking cross-posted
Please don't beat yourself up over knowing your EDD or any of the other exciting things that go along with a new pregnancy. You did all the right things, and are still doing all the right things; it's normal to be excited about major life changes and I can only imagine how scary and upsetting what you're going through is, as I've never been in that situation and really hate that you are. At the scan tomorrow I'm sure they'll have some answers for you and will be able to tell you what to expect. Just hang on until then. I'm not sure how to pull yourself out of it; I've always been the type to wallow in her feelings so as to get them used up more quickly. Please don't feel bad for being upset and disappointed....be kind to yourself and in the meantime we'll help you until you're feeling stronger

Sid did your OPKs show wed O too?
Barking, sending huge hugs. If it is bad need i would say you need to prepared to take some time off work to recover both physically and mentally. Go easy on yourself and do not expect to be back to normal quickly, also its fine to be upset. On the flip side remember this is the worst it will get, and you know you can get pregnant and there is no stats to suggest you will be waiting another 22 months. I know you are strong but I think you need to call your OH home from work for cuddles and emotional support x

need news

sid thanks for your advice. My progesterone is lower than they want - boderline so can't say for definite if I am ovulating or not hence why they want to chuck clomid at me and see what my levels are like after that.

If we could afford to go straight to private ivf then we would. The problem is we haven't got the money to throw at it unless absolutely necessary and with the kind support of my mil for one cycle. It's such a confusing thing as to when you decide when absolutely necssary is! If we can get ivf on nhs then obv we would want to try this first as we'd get three goes but if we can't then of course we would go down private route.

Is IVF abroad much cheaper? Could that be an option?
The NHS could probably afford to give everyone in the UK 5 cycles of IVF if they stopped handing out Clomid left right and centre!

Merk Yes OPKs pointed towards Weds ov. DTD Tues & Weds, let's hope the secret to getting knocked up is DTD as little as possible not holding my breath for this cycle.

yorkie I hope I didn't sound preachy with any of what I said. It's the worst, trying to make decisions that are rational, trying to juggle emotions/finances/timeframes etc. My decisions nowadays are based around time not being on my side, and NHS IVF not being available to us. It makes certain things a little clearer but yes the financial aspect of it is chilling, and it makes sense to stick with NHS care as long as you can. I just wish my savings were being raided for an around the world cruise, or towards a bigger house, rather than for something my body is not cooperating on! Or more to the point I wish decisions my DH made in the past weren't so deeply affecting my life in yet another way, but that's a whole 'nother thread.