Harry Potter and the rise of the BESH: Instadiffers, baby dusters and huns will be subject to the spell Evanesco!!.

[RaspberrySnowCone]

Expecto Patronum

If you are you over 30 and have been ttc for over 12 months, are witch like or even better a complete hag and willing to abuse your powers of wizardry to conjure up gin by the bucket load, then fill out the Beshionnaire and join us if you dare in our battle against BESH curse.

Instadiffers and baby dusters will be turned into frogs and used in a potion.

Peskipiksi Pesternomi!!!

Accio baybee......accio baybee........oh fuckit

Hello BESH can I join you please? I've been lurking for a while as I've been on the egg buddies group for a while but due to my utter failure in the IVF department and my hanging around waiting for auto-immune results I don't feel that I fit in there very well at the mo. It's much better to be on there when you are actually cycling. I think I qualify well for BESH though and have done my BESHtionnaire like a good girl :)

1. do you like gin?
   Natch - who doesn't? What's wrong with them? Do they need a fish slap?

2. men-are you a cradle snatcher, gold digger or cougar?
   I am most definitely a cougar and proud of it - I'm 41 and TWH (Toasty the Wonderhusb) is 35 - boom

3)babee making- which hole do you use?
I'm a little jell of LlW as she took the best line, damn her!

4. testing- when someone wonders whether they should test you for pg do you a) bellow poas at them and then punch them in the kidneys until they wet themselves or b) sprinkle them with baby dust and send them hugs and kisses on angel wings
   Definitely A - babydust and angel wings is cringy bollox - eek

5. is r2d2? A) an adorable robot from star wars or b) the root of all evil?
   Clearly A! Am married to a total geek and if I were to get an sci-fi questions wrong I'd be flayed!

6)what colour are your walls?
Mostly they're cream/mushroom although we do have one wall in a glorious red and a blue bog

7. pets?
   De nada - I love animals but TWH is allergic so I just get to luffs them from a far - upside is I don't have to clear up shit :)

8. inappropriate crush of shame?
   Does anyone watch Bones? I am massively in lust with Hodgins - I know it's wrong but I can't help it!

9. lesbian crush?
   This one is really bugging me as I had a brilliant one the other day - and now it's gone....I'll come back to it if you want to keep me :)

10)what are your views on camping?
Tis fun fun fun although potentially evil - you just need to know what you're doing - I've had horrendous times (when I didn't know what to do and the bloke I was with insisted on putting up a tent at V fest without the flysheet and we got properly drowned) and brilliant times (I spent a fair old time camping in Oz and had a blast). I'm off glamping with TWH in a couple of weeks in a yurt with a four poster bed and reindeer furs - can't wait!

11. how much money have you spent on sticks you then wee on? I'm a bit anti poasing these days as it pisses (pardon the pun) me off wasting money on something that is CLEARLY NOT SODDING HAPPENING!

So, how'd I do? Did I pass?

Oh now for the horrid TTC stories, I hate them! We are 32 (33 on the 18th) TTC for two years. I have thyroid issues and had to have surgery for cervical pre-cancer business in 2011 and DHs swimmers are treading water. We are in the 2ww of our first ICSI cycle, testing tomorrow! We have been together 12 years and married 5, seems time to grow up and lay off the gin but who knows at this rate I'll have pickled myself by Christmas. When are you testing Graf?

Welcome to the new hags Llw2 and Fab, come in my pretties. OMG you have beeeeez and piggies Llw2, thems is cool animals to keep. Fab, agreed 100%, baby dust is cringey bollox. Loving the technical terminology.

Plymouth is my gin of choice.

I'm, Cherry, 34, married to ROCH (Rock of Coconut Household). Came off the pill August 2012 to TTC. When nothing happened, not even the hint of a droid, I started pushing the docs for tests in the New Year. Finally amid protests there would be nothing to worry about I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure May 2013. Post menopausal, joy. So, I'm officially as barren as it gets round here and on the waiting list for DEIVF.

Hopefully you will both fit right in round here.

Bugs glad to see you're making the most of a sofa day for research purposes. Pets, tinterweb, blanket. What more could one ask for when feeling poorly sick.

Surrogacy is not something we've considered but I guess you never know until you get there. 6 months ago the idea of DE IVF was never even on our radar. Anything is possible.

Wow Bugs - they are great stories (even if they are in the Daily Mail bastard mag!) - it is something that is on our radar...potentially....much more thought needs to go into it for us though I think.

Our story is: Met and married TWH in 2010 (no sense in hanging around when you know it's right eh?) and TTC since Feb 2011, 1st IVF in Jan - 3 great embies put back, BFP with 1, MMC 8 weeks later, ERPC. 2nd IVF in July - again 3 great embies put back, BFN. Have no problems with any of the process - everything works well, I get a good amount of follies, mature eggs, we make great embies but not enough to freeze (as with my great age of 41 they reckon I'm better off putting all the good'uns back in rather than keeping spares for a rainy day) but now that I've had such great embies fail my clinic thinks I must have auto-immune issues so truck loads of blood is currently in Chicago being tested. Results come back in next week hopefully..... The results then will give us an idea of what our next steps are. We are (ever the hopeful one!) booked in for another round of IVF in November as I thought it best to book in and wait for the results as my clinic has a 3 month wait list and time is of the essence!

Congrats to Frank for being in foal - it's so lovely to hear of successful pregnancies after trials and tribulations rather than those stinkingly smug instadiffs! You just need to shag loads, drink wine and relax - it'll just happen.....step inside my womb bitch and explain that, ha! Oops I just typed that didn't I....

Good luck tomorrow LlW - keeping everything (apart from my legs obvs) crossed for you :)

Bugs and Draf - what Bugs' Needles Woo lady said is correct and nice - it made me feel very positive talking to my embies when i was in PUPO land. It does however make the fall harder to bear but that's always the problem with IVF - you really do have to throw yourself in all or nothing as otherwise you'll be giving yourself another reason for failure and quite frankely (shamelessly buttering up as I'm a newBESH) we don't need that shiz. Give your embies some loving (but no baby dust!!) :) I am however very biased on woo needles as my very own sister is a woo needles lady so I believe it all and consider myself very lucky!

I would also like to say that although I have commented on the woo stuff I am in no way making this into a woo thread (proud smile as manages to slip in previous comments from lurking homework).

More fresh meat?? Welcome aboard the good ship BESH Fab

Enjoy the pet-based snuggles Bugs

Sorry to put a downer on you with our horrid stories, llw It's usual practice among the BESH to introduce ourselves in this fashion, though. Personally, because I have a brain like a sieve, I find it a handy way of reminding myself where everyone is :)

Surrogacy is an interesting one, bugs. I don't think I could do it - although as coco points out you never know until it becomes a serious option. Theoretically, I think we're more likely to do IVF a few times and then look at adoption rather than go down the surrogacy/donated eggs route. Not having sisters, I don't know who I'd ask to be a surrogate anyway.

Cherry, how horrible and shocking that must have been for you. What at total mindfuck (I'm good with the technical jargon). I would suggest you have a little lurk on the Egg Buddies fred as they have a couple of DE IVFers there and they might be good to chat with. Are you doing it in this country? Did Juicy/Pram ever join this group? She did DE in Czech Republic I think and is now about 15 weeks diffed.

Right I'm off to do the gardening...oh I forgot to say in the big quest to be diffed I left my super stressful all demanding job and decided to go old school and be a housewife for a bit to see if that makes a difference. Anything's worth a try right??

Hurrah for housewives! It's the best thing I ever did, bugs. But then work was so stressful it was making me ill, and thereby also managing to cause stress to HOTB. Life is much more peaceful now, though I always feel ashamed when people ask what I do, I feel like I'm letting the side down by being such a 1950s stereotype.

Fab, pram is on the March 2014 thread with me, she's about a week or so behind me. She never joined the BESH, but she's certainly, er, a character

Lol yes she's certainly that - she's a bit marmite

Frank I know what you mean about being a hausfrau - I don't really know what to tell people - I've always identified myself with my job and felt proud of what I do and have achieved over the years and now? Eek - whilst I'm not hiding the fact that we are doing ivf I also don't necessarily want to tell every Tom Dick and Harry in order to justify why I'm not working - women just don't stay at home these days unless they have children to look after. But on the upside i have quite a few friends locally who have older children and who work part time so I have plenty of people to have coffee/lunch with plus I have a house to sort out (read crap to bin) before we move into a do-er upper house in the new year which should all keep me busy thankfully.

Bollox indeed - what are your options?

Bugs we're in the middle of buying/selling and our agent says this is happening a hell of a lot suddenly. They said it seems to be when the market is on the rise quite rapidly but the bank confidence in the market is still low. Assuming you will have to lower your offer? Whilst it puts them in a difficult position the buyer can hardly disagree as they're likely to have the same problem with any buyer they get surely

Oh and she was, briefly, a BESH under another name

Not spunk on silk shoes?!

Caveat - I cannot remember their mn name, and don't know who you're talking about..

No she can't have been silk shoe girl, the stories wouldn't fit. Plus HQ dealt with that one rather swiftly if you follow my drift.

It's all happening on here today!

Hi new hags

bugs you are having a shitty day. Fx the house business will get sorted. All this when you're trying to reduce your stress levels ffs!

Will post properly later. Got up early to go to soft play with friend's OMGIVF TWINZ who are gorgeous but heavy and quick. I need a nap.

Oh bugs, that is pretty damn shitty. And baffling - how can it be so different?!