Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

jollyjolly
Regular sex, every day or every other day, worked for us! I didn't know my cycles as I had just come off the pill so we just went for it as much as possible. It's actually great fun when you get into it. :) Definitely think of ways to spice it up so it's not boring! DH is very disappointed it's over - unfortunately early pregnancy is not conducive to sexiness!

Yes, Jolly, I'm with you on that one - if you do know when you are about to ovulate, how is it advantageous to shag all cycle long? It makes sense to have SWI every other day if you have no idea when you are ovulating but if your temperature goes up and you know the egg has been released, what is the point(apart from love, fun, etc,etc) on keeping up the SWI for the rest of the month?

I have heard a couple of theories, but there's no real evidence to suggest that the theories are correct. One is that if DH has regular sex,he is keeping the "pipes" clean (so to speak) which keeps the supply of sperm fresh (less dead ones in there). But,for me, that doesn't necessarily mean regular sex. I know my DH barely goes a day or two without keeping the pipes clear IYKWIM

The other theory is that the regular deposit of semen in the woman, after fertilisation is an indicator that she has a male partner and protector and that gives a higher likelihood of the pregnancy succeeding (but that one sounds a bit like bollucks to me).

There is just no way I could manage much more SWI than I do during fertile time. Life just makes me so tired everyday, mustering up the energy to have sex is a super-human feat. Some would say that if I am that tired I really shouldn't have another baby, but my defence is that if I do have another baby I won't be going to work and teaching naughty teenagers all day anymore, instead grabbing a nap when the baby sleeps...Gosh that sounds wonderful.

No BFP for me this month. Clear BFN this morning and a temperature drop. Lovely AF will join me in a day or two I should think. So tired of this. Just want my THB.

When the Christmas madness is over I will make an appointment to see my GP and get some more blood tests done. I still would like to try clomid and will see if I can convince her to monitor me. She will probably suggest a fertility specialist again, but I know a specialist will not be interested in treating a 47 year old with low AMH with her own eggs. I just don't want to have deal with that kind of negativity. It would also mean waiting a long time, traveling to the city and paying alot. I would just like my GP to keep an eye on me whilst I take the clomid so that if anything happens she can care for me. I guess I'll just go see her and see what she thinks.

I will start taking vitex again - I got lazy again this cycle, religiously,and will see if that helps.

Shakshuka and hopeful .. actually we have other issues ... in that DP has delayed or sometimes no ejaculation ... usually at time when it most matters because it is the most stressful and pressured. Unfortunately it's not great fun at all when you are desperately crying inside: 'please, please, pleeeease come today'. Which clearly doesn't help. I think that's why she suggested regular sex, to take the pressure off. On a couple of months we've had SWI three or four days in a row with no 'results' which just kills me. But i'm with you on the super-human effort it requires!

hopeful those are interesting theories!! I'd heard the pipes one but not the 'protector' one... but biology, eh? you never know....

Sorry to hear your BFN . The only consolation i can offer is that you can have a drink over Christmas without any worry, thankful that you will not be on the two week wait.

As for specialists - don't they relish 'challenges and opportunities' like us? I would hope that they would not be negative towards you as it is specifically their job to deal with these things and they must be very tuned into the emotions involved.

....

Hello everyone, how are you all? I read every day to keep up but don't post much...

Green, how are you doing?

I'm almost 33 weeks now - it's going so fast! and yet I seem to have been pg for ever. Had our last ante-natal class last night, which made it all a bit more real - next time we get together it'll be with babies too Am still very tired and still having times of being really down and miserable but directly linked to tiredness I think. DH has finally agreed that we ARE going to need some help with his DCs if we're not both to go utterly mad (thank you expat ante-natal classes, which I had to drag DH to but which he admits have been great). Of course I think we could use some help right now, but it's thinking that nothing will change after the birth that's been getting me really stressed so just knowing DH and I are now on the same page helps. He's supposed to be talking to MIL today (bloody selfish MIL who yesterday was moaning to DH on the phone that she has no idea what to get DSD1 for Christmas as she 'doesn't know her very well' - MIL lives 15 mins away but never, ever offers to do anything with my DSCs; she only sees them if I invite her for lunch, which at the moment I'm refusing to do Strangely enough, my own DM, who lives IN ANOTHER COUNTRY FFS, managed to come up with a present DSD loves (DM and my stepdad visited last week so we did early presents while they were here) - but then, even DH has admitted that his DCs spend more time with MY DPs than with his, despite the fact his are right here and mine are abroad).

Meanwhile, I had the best early Christmas present this morning, when my 3-year old DSD put her arms round my neck when I'd finished brushing her hair and told me I'm the best mum in the world However, I did the morally decent thing and told her I wasn't actually her mum...

morien, well done for keeping DSD on the right page re "mother". But one wonders of course why thchild would say so, hopefully just because She appreciated the mothering you do for her.... I guess it would be easier to sort out home help while you are only pg, not already home with the baby? good luck with the rest of pregnancy!

On sex every other day in fertile week vs regular shagging during cycle i can only say that first year of ttc business maybe you can enjoy it, spike things up and generally be merry about it all. Then it clearly becomes a core. Hard task, not really one i like. Sad, but i am one of those who would probably without ttc do it only twice a month or sth. My drive took a huge nosedive after DC4 was born, in fact never resurfaced after that pregnancy. I guess my body really knows what it is doing - tries to keep me from fallin pg and if i do then miscarries. Obviously ir thinks I would die in bloodshed on giving birth or sth., and does protect itself. It does not know that nowadays it should not be afraid, and stone age coping mechanisms are not needed....

Morien wow, how can you be 33 weeks already?! Time flies... Not long to go now. When do you finish work?

I'm with you all on the SWI really being more of a chore than anything else. I find it very depressing, tbh.... It's so rare these days that we dtd just for fun! I think DH knows what's up when I start demanding dtd for 3 days in a row, then nothing for the rest of the month (well, he's not stupid!). Which has started taking its toll... Epic failure last week at the second 'go' during my fertile window . Nothing I could do about it, but it was so frustrating. Really don't rate my chances for a BFP very high this cycle, as we only dtd once at the right time.
Plus, I am also now on my second bout of cystitis in a month, which is definitely due to dtd so often in a row

Sorry for the rant - counting down the hours until tomorrow, my last day at work before Christmas! Can't wait....

Hi everyone, I have to share a totally mad moment with you all because it's too mad for me to actually admit to anyone I know!! I've had a few weeks of feeling exhausted, run down and bloated hence the blood tests and pelvic scan all of which were fine. I booked myself in for some acupuncture yesterday and found it really helpful. She suggested irritable bowel and treated the abdominal area but I'm going back for fertility acupuncture as she seemed really good and anything is worth a try. Anyway, we were chatting about my mcs and my desire for another child and I was feeling quite emotional (as I have been for the last few weeks but unsure why). She suggested I go back to dr for blood tests to test hormone levels and ovulation is ok.
So to the mad bit..... today I popped out to get my eyebrows done and walked past a place with a board outside advertising 'spiritual readings.' Can you see where this is going?? lol.
Anyhoo I went straight in without even thinking about it. Saw a lovely lady who started off with a few things about dh starting a new job and a sum of money that I would be getting soon (all true.) She then said about a very tall man who was with me (my dad I assume) and said he was saying about blood tests and was showing her injections. She didn't know what that meant and suggested diabetes but if I get pregnant I have to inject clexane every day so I'm hoping it's that. She said I would have another child and it would be soon but soon could mean anything 'in the spirit world.' She said there would be an age gap of 4 years between a baby and my daughter and then asked how old my daughter was (a few months off 4).
I'm not mad honest! I know it's probably crap but it did make me feel better and gave me some hope that I have to say was starting to diminish. I have decided to go for the blood tests because I think that will put my mind at rest that everything is working normally and then I can relax and get on with it!! As me and dh are off work for a couple of weeks I'm going to try for the regular sex approach as opposed to the 'I'm exhausted after work, let's just do it for these 3 days' approach that most of us favour! Feel free to tell me I'm bonkers (it's true) but I do feel so much better and more positive so I guess that can only be a good thing.
Sorry, very long post but had to get it out as I have a few friends who are pregnant or ttc and didn't feel it was appropriate to confess all to them. At least with you all I can't see your 'poor desperate women has lost her mind looks!!'
Hope everyone is doing ok and starting to look forward to the party week. I've just finished af so might crack open a bottle of wine before the next tww begins!

Grizzer, whatever helps is good! If this helped to sustain your hope it is positive, i think.

I felt particularily stressed today and for some reason convinced there is no baby in my future. Felt better in the evening after packing for ski trip ( leaving saturday). If pg i could not ski. So, good for one week that am not pg....

Grizzer, that doesn't sound mad to me at all. I would feel very,very positive if I'd had a reading like that. I do hope it all happens for you.

jass, sorry that you feel there is no baby in your future. I do understand. I am so tired of the rollercoaster every cycle that I feel I might not keep trying. But perhaps, for you, it is just the stress speaking and you will feel much better after your ski holiday. Which, by the way, sounds perfect. I would love to take my family on a ski trip and have a white Christmas. I must look into it. I have heard that skiing in Japan is cheaper than going to Europe (from Australia), so perhaps we could do that one year.

Morien, how wonderful you are 33 weeks. You will have a wonderful Christmas, I am sure, knowing that next Christmas you'll have a little one sharing it with you. What a beautiful thought.

I am being very,very optimistic and probably a little bit insane, but I still don't have AF and had some spotting yesterday, fully expecting it today. But there's nothing. I have looked over my charts, and in the last three charts I had spotting the day before AF. But I did have a chart 4 months ago where I spotted, then didn't get AF for another two days. I shouldn't be optimistic as I don't have tender breasts anymore, however, last night I did notice some funny "twinges" in my breasts. So I am a little confused.

I think it is just an age related thing. Other than funny breast twinges and a very beautiful dream about twin newborns, I've no other symptoms, and a dream is hardly a symptom is it? I did do a test this morning which was negative, but if I was spotting yesterday, perhaps it wouldn't show a + yet anyway?

I am sure I'll read back on this in a day or two and fell like a silly mare. We shall see. I still want a BFP for Christmas....

Grizzer - there are certainly no 'poor desperate woman has lost her mind looks' coming from anyone on this forum!! If the reading gives you enough energy and enthusiam for regular SWI then it's all good .

hopeful - I have my fingers crossed for you and know I would be feeling just the same, that every ache or sign you look for the positive, but am fearful that the drop in temperature is give-away indicator. I hope I'm wrong.

jass - enjoy the skiing! All the fresh air and exercise can only be good for you!

everything packed, all systems go, start tomorrow at 5 in the morning (to beat the traffic jams), arrival planned for early afternoon and sun should be shining! not too much snow though, 30-70 cm, put the ski tracks get artificial top-ups every night, so warm and sunny is rather a bonus, i hope!

merry christmas to everyone, and envy-tinged waves to those pg or with newborns! but good we have the good examples here as well!!!!!!!

Hi Everyone have been reading, not posting. I have tried Angus Castus and Vitamin B Complex to try and sort out my cycles. I have had 2 19 day cycles so felt the need to try something. On those 2 cycles i didnt have a second line on opk all month. This month they have slowly been getting darker, but not sure if todays is dark enough to be positive. I have mastered the art of uploading a picture on my file if anyone could have a look and see what you think? Dp is away tonight but home tomorrow so if it is positive will i have missed my chance ? Any advice will be greatfully recieved. I have strong ovulation pain too. Photo is cd15.

Thank you ladies for not treating me like a loon!!
Jass have a lovely time, enjoy the mulled wine on the mountain tops!! Merry Christmas xx
mumalah I can't see a pic but if you're not sure I'd guess it isn't dark enough. Sounds like it's getting there though so dtd for the next couple of days when dp gets back. I've recently chatted to 2 friends who weren't getting lines every month & they both said acupuncture has made them ov every month & regulated their cycles. I've been convinced to give it a go & if nothing else it's really relaxing.
hopeful any updates? Everything crossed for you xx

Sorry ! Have a look now

mumalah, I can't access your profile. I can't even click on your name. Have you made it private?

It sounds like you are definitely gearing up for ovulation. I find with opks that when I get the "almost" the same darkness as the control line, that I ovulate the next day but everyone is different, it could be because I am catching the end of the surge rather than the beginning. I often get a + in the morning, despite everything saying you should test later in the day with opks.

It is great that the Vitex (agnus castus) and B complex are making a difference. I hope you catch this egg!

As for me, it was all just wishful thinking. I think the dream was particularly vivid and had me very hopeful. Alas, AF turned up this morning. At least now the pre-menstrual angst (sometimes mistaken for early pregnancy angst) is gone and I can feel more human in the run-up to Christmas. It is going to be a busy few days.

Although I am disappointed, I am not feeling overly sad or desperate. I am feeling more and more that it is time to let go.

Have a lovely holiday Jass.

mumalah, it worked this time, and yes, that looks positive!

Thank you hopeful ! Hopefully I can time things right tomorrow. Busy day tomorrow, start my Christmas shopping. Just haven't been motivated this year! Sorry to hear Af came! New Year, New Baby, for you, and god you deserve it! I will try to post more, just havent been in the right place last few months.

Hello everyone. I've been reading but not posting because I've been rather down.
Morien: in my language we don't actually have a word for Step Mother or Father. You would be the 'little or younger' mother. By the sound of things you're a lovely person and that little girl is fortunate to have you.

On another point:
One of the reasons I took a 'time out' was my upcoming 42nd. Reading the posts I feel I shouldn't lose courage, especially since having trouble after my mc in June. On the other hand, I was so bloody cool about no OPKs and the lots and just having fun.
Then, AF late since Wednesday. I stay cool. This morning I think to hell with it, I'm buying a test.
What happens? Bleeding. Light, still. But there are cramps and this all leaves me feeling like Christmas should be postponed!!
Oh wait, if I'm not pregnant I can drink. That must be worth something, right?!

Sorry. Needed that.

Thanks Tadpole - I like that (What is your language, if you don't mind telling us? Just curious - I'm a linguist so these things interest me). A Danish colleague told me recently that the Danish for 'step-children' is 'bonus children' - isn't that nice?

Sorry you've been down, Tadpole, but hope you manage to have a lovely Christmas and start TTC afresh in the New Year. As for drinking, help is on the way for all of us in the form of my interfering FIL - asked me the other day if I had a preference before he bought the wine for Christmas dinner, to which I replied that I'd be having so little of it that it hardly mattered to me. He said he was going to talk to his old gynaecologist mate about this no drinking nonsense, because he's quite sure I've misunderstood He was confident he'd be getting back to me with good news - I'll be sure to share it with you all when he does...

Gum, sorry AF got you as well - a New Year BFP for you as well, then

Good morning ladies.
I am starting to feel a bit less stressed and more relaxed about Christmas.

Dh has finally got off his lazy arse and spent all day yesterday organising and tidying outside, getting ready for all the family coming on Christmas day. I actually miscounted, and it is 21 for lunch.

I have ordered all the food online - I can't bear the thought of stepping into a supermarket, and the house is tidied and ready. Now it is a matter of waiting for all the food to arrive tomorrow and preparing most of it on Christmas morning. We are having salads and roast meats. DH is in charge of the meat and I am doing the salads.

Yesterday was quite warm and after spending a couple of hours weeding the garden I took my two youngest kids to the beach and had a body surf. It was just what I needed. Getting knocked around in the waves certainly knocks the tension out of me.

As for ttc, well, I am beginning to think it is a waste of time and energy. I took my temperature this morning,and honestly, I did wonder why I was bothering. Then I reminded myself that I do like knowing when to expect AF, so that's one good reason to keep it up. As for hoping for a baby, I really do think my time is up, and I am not sure that I'll put in much effort around ovulation time, but we shall see, I could easily change my mind (like I have about 5 million times before!)

Tadpole, sorry AF found you too.

How is everyone coping with the run up to Christmas?

Diege, we've not seen you for a while. I hope all is well? Calibee, how are you? And all the pregnant ladies? mumalah, were you able to DTD in time?

Have a lovely day. I am going to the hair salon this morning so I can have salon fresh, beautiful hair (sans the grey regrowth) in time to catch up with all of DH's family(he has three sisters).

Good morning, ladies.

Oh it is Christmas time, orright! Hopeful, your post brought it all home. Thank you, I should say. I have to get on with the food shopping (yes, I still haven't bought a thing), so thank you for kicking my butt into action! And please don't give up altogether. I have only one New Year Resolution - to stay on this forum, check in, post and keep positive!

Morien - my language is isiXhosa. Spoken mainly in South Africa. You have a really cool profession!

Merry Christmas everyone! I wish us all peace, love and lots of laughter and beautiful memories!

I am waiting to have the amnio this morning..
Just hope everything will be ok with the procedure..then we will have to wait for the results..

Mozzarella, I hope the amnio goes well. Get lots of rest afterwards. Please don't get up and do lots of stuff for Christmas. Just get some rest!

tadpole, it is now Christmas Eve in Australia, 5:30 in the morning and I am already stressing about all the jobs I need to do today. Luckily I have a small army of workers! My DD's are great, so helpful. DS (5) is sooooo excited about Christmas this year, much more so than last year. He's singing songs about Christmas, telling us how wonderful it all is.It is very heart warming, especially as I still feel a bit negative about Christmas. I don't like the fact that in the run up to it all I am so busy and really,it wasn't our choice to invite all the family here, rather it was forced upon us suggested that we host it. And then I feel like a selfish bitch because it may be FIL's last Christmas and it is important to get the whole family together.

My biggest worry is that the damned avocados I bought for a great big avocado and pink grapefruit salad are still hard despite being assured by the woman I bought them from that they would be ripe for Christmas day. I have them on a basket with some old bananas but it isn't helping. Next thing I'll try is to pop them all in a paper bag with the bananas.

Right, I'd better finish my morning cuppa and get on with the massive list of jobs I have to do...

Hi everyone, just checking in briefly to wish you all a happy Christmas. Niece, nephew & dd all very excited. All the presents are at a neighbours who are away over Christmas & dh has just claimed he had their door key & now can't find it! Anyone any ideas on how to tell 3 under nines we can't get their presents?! I'm off to join the search....
Merry Christmas xx

hopeful good luck with avocados & bananas, you're probably done by now tho' because we're awake in the UK! Grizzer OMG I hope the new Christmas game "hunt the neighbour's key" ends well. mumalah I have my fingers crossed for you. Tadpole that's a good New Year's resolution, I'll borrow that one too!

Merry Christmas to all!