Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

I really should stop trying to post from the MN app on my ipad - lost another long post the other day and didn't have time to re-write, grrr. Am on the desktop now so I can risk writing more than 2 lines...

Irish I can't believe how far along you are already! Glad everything's going well. And green, things will speed up in a while - my first few weeks crawled by too (although I was further on than you when I found out, which definitely helped).

diege I really hope you'll be out of the woods soon

notsoold a month already!!!

Hello to everyone else, and welcome to the newbies!

Update here - I have changed gynae The stuff about the C-section just confirmed what really I'd known since before I was pg even - that he wasn't the gynae for me. I've managed to track down the lovely lady who was my gynae during my last pregnancy (when I had my MC) - I'd swapped because she can be very difficult to get hold of. (I originally met her not as a gynae, but because we bought her house). She gave me an immediate appointment and spent an hour with us (instead of 10 mins like the other one!) - feeling much better on that score now. I've heard her criticized in the past (by DH's female relatives) for being non-interventionist and too 'natural', not 'medical' enough (apparently a better gynae would have prevented my MC last year by intervening ) - but that's what I want! (Oh, and she said that even if I really, really wanted to give birth on my back with my legs apart, she'd do her best to dissuade me ) We also discussed the possibility of having a doula at the birth (I've recently met one I felt very comfortable with), and she was open to that (suspect other gynae wouldn't have been!) and encouraged me to go for it.

Meanwhile, although everything's well with the baby and I love the feel of her kicking, I'm struggling. On the one hand I'm very tired - my blood pressure's low, and I feel completely wiped out. I can just about drag myself through the weeks when my DSCs aren't here, but even that's hard. They come back today for the week and I'm dreading it (and that's hard to say. My pregnant DSis can say that she can't cope with her 3-year old DD and that's fine, everyone's sympathetic, but if I say I can't cope with my 3 DSCs I become the wicked stepmother. Even DH struggles with the concept - the last week they were here I managed to get him to take them out on the Saturday to give me some peace, but it was hard; he thought I was throwing his kids out of the house Whereas I think it would be perfectly acceptable for a pg woman to ask her DH to take their (joint) DCs out for the day?) Despite the fact that we live minutes from all of DH's family and closest friends, nobody helps us at all with the kids, so it's tough.

I'm wondering, too (takes deep breath before saying the next bit), if I'm maybe suffering from a touch of ante-natal depression. I feel completely overwhelmed by everything and just want to curl up and cry most of the time. Which doesn't mean that I don't want the baby - I desperately want her to be ok, and I can't wait for February, for her to be born. I don't have backache, swollen ankles, piles, indigestion, joint pain, etc etc etc, so other than the tiredness and low blood pressure nothing specific to moan about...but I just feel utterly fed up, and I don't want to do anything. I thought it would get better when I sorted out my problems with the gynae, so I never even raised it with the old/new gynae, but it hasn't. I just want to run away and hide, although I don't really know from what. I've been googling ante-natal depression and it does seem to fit; I think I need to go and see my GP. It's been going on for too long now for it to be a bad couple of days. (DH did his own research too, and things did get easier with him after that; before that I'd cry and say I needed his help and he'd just shake his head and walk off, saying he didn't understand what the problem was, but he's great now so at least there's that).

Sorry, very long...but it was good to get it off my chest.

So much for not symptom spotting. I am actually feeling like I am in the first trimester - feeling sick tonight and suffering from a yucky taste in my mouth. I have also felt extremely tired all day despite an early night. It must be hormones because I shouldn't feel this way so early. OMG - it must be twins

morIan I am sorry i didn't see your post before mine. It could be antenatal depression so please seek help it could make a huge difference. You shouldn't feel any guilt it certainly isn't your fault. I had post natal depression with my first baby and didn't seek help for a long time as I thought it was my fault. everything improved once i got help. In my case my hormones were out of whack. I didn't have it with my other babies. I do hope you can feel better soon.

As for the kids- perfectly normal to need peace and quiet when preggo . whether you are a step mum or birth mum. No difference in my opinion. On my phone must go... ((hugs))

Thanks hopeful

Sorry you feel so awful morien . It does indeed sound as if it may be antenatal depression, but it is positive that you are able to write your feelings down and also talk to dh. Are you seeing a midwife in addition to the gynae? There are also some very good threads on MN that address antenatal depression that may be of help. Thinking of you xx
Gum never too early for symptoms On the subject of exercise, I'd read that 15 minutes of intense-ish exercise is as good as the traditional 30 mins of slightly-out-of-breath exercise, which I'm sure covers your laps? Even 10 minutes at a time is apparently as good. That certainly helps me psychologically, though I'll admit I am no where near exercising at the moment!
Good news at the drs this morning. The scar seems to be healing on its own, and they are pleased with how it's progressing. I am relieved not to have to take more ABS, but did say yes to the very lovely codeine tablets they offered . I have to say I can see how they can be addictive . Not great for the anal fissure I have though - with that and the iron tablets it is pretty hard going - literally I did mention the honey to the nurse and she is a big fan - shame they can't prescribe it!

Hi ladies, can I join you please? I am trying not to use forums too much as then the whole ttc thing is all I think about so I think this one is the perfect one to choose as I feel freakishly old when on forums with 21 year olds!!
I have a 3yr old dd but have had an 18 week and 6 week mc since then so still ttc no 2. I'm going to the drs tonight with suspected (self diagnosed) cyst on ovary. I thought I was pregnant for the last 2 months because of bloating and that full feeling. I'm always very regular but was 4 days late last month and only bled for one day. This month I've bled for nearly 2 days but seem to have stopped again. Feeling really tired and generally not right. Got abdominal pain on the right side pretty much all the time so think it's time to get checked out. Don't know if cysts stop you getting pregnant or can cause miscarriage so don't want to leave it any longer. I'll enjoy catching up on all your stories while in the waiting room!!

Welcome to the thread grizzer and so sorry for your losses . You will find lots of support and friendship here, in addition to loads of advice, both medically-based and anecdotal! How did the GP appointment go?
Freezing cold day here though sun is shining now. Nothing more exciting than doing an online asda shop and sorting out the hats and gloves cupboard today (and lots of baby cuddles too of course!).
Love to all xxx

Hello everyone, and a warm welcome to the newbies! As diege said, lots of advice and support on this thread, may your stay be short and sweet!

Morien Please do gp and speak with your GP or midwife, you do sound as if you could do with some help. But then again, I could completely understand your feelings about your DSCs, it sounds as if you are having to do a lot for/with them! Might be worth trying to talk to your DH again about putting a bit more of a 'work division' into place when it comes to them. I would definitely use the pregnancy card here!

gum How are your symptoms...?

Diege Glad to hear that you're off the abs and that things are looking up - you and your body certainly have a lot to deal with at the moment!

I had my appointment with the consultant today about the recurring miscarriages... All in all, I'm feeling hesitantly positive about it - nothing major was found (as I suspected). She was very friendly and thorough, going through all the results with us in detail. DH and I are fine chromosomally, which is a relief. There are still some flags with my blood tests, pointing towards clotting issues, but this has been (and will be) covered by the heparin injections that I have to take once pg - nothing more that needs to be done, however, she will talk to the haematologist about additional aspirin.
My most recent mc was due to trisomy 2 - very rare, apparently, and in our case, a spontaneous event, so again nothing that can be done about it.
She has recommended that I take progesterone when falling pg the next time.

I feel a bit less anxious now, almost relieved - at least I did not get the worst news, i.e. that I couldn't have any more children. My age is most likely the main factor here, combined with a hefty portion of bad luck... Which I can accept, now that the tests have not brought up anything else. Of course it would have been great to be told 'You have XYZ, which we can treat with ABC to ensure a successful pregnancy', but hey-ho.

I think that I feel a bit more positive about starting to ttc again, as there is nothing imminent that still needs to get checked out. I know there is no guarantee that it'll work, but trying to believe maybe the age statistics are going to be counter-balanced by the fact that I've had so many mcs now Here's hoping...

Jbrd that is really good news (well obviously not good news that you have had to go through this but good that they have not found anything insurmountable). How do you feel about TTC again?

Morien sorry you are feeling down - I echo the advice to get to your GP/Midwife asap. You don't need to suffer alone and the sooner you get the support you need the better - I think ante-natal depression is quite common just that no one talks about it. Well done for being so open and discussing it with your DH - I know I would find that difficult but he can now support you. I completely understand about the SC - I only have two and they are 11/13 (so are quite independent although at that age there is a whole other set of issues to deal with ) My DP has a complete blind spot when it comes to them and he cannot get his head round the fact that I do not have the same strength of feeling about them as he does - like all of these issues, I think the only way through is to keep talking - it sounds like you DH is open to how you feel so keep him close and talking whilst reinforcing that this how you feel isn't a judgement on his children, or how you feel about them, just what your needs are right now. You sound like an amazing step mum.

I went off to the GP yesterday. Unfortunately, they are unable to refer me to a scan on the NHS but she recommended a clinic locally who do private scans. She recommended that I have a scan at 8 weeks - late enough to check everything is ok and close enough to the 12 week scan to not leave me in limbo for too long. I think I will book a scan around that time (only another looooooooooong two weeks to wait) and I am considering getting the harmony tests done at week 10 (again if I make it to that date. She also referred me to the midwife at the practice and advised me to have consultant care and delivery at a major teaching hospital 40 mins away because of my age and history. Personally, I will take any care/support that anyone can give me although 40 mins is a pain (and it will be 1 hour 20 from work for routine appointments). She also told me that I would have to start baby asprin at 12 weeks due to a high blood pressure issue for which I have been treated for 20 years and that I should stop running and focus on low impact exercise eg. walking, running, cycling. I have also decided (in deference to your wise advice ladies) that I will give up POAS (when I get my 3+ on a CB.....)

ps. hopeful how amazing would twins be!! Any other symptoms?

Hello ladies can I join you? I could really do with my hand holding for a few weeks. Previously MC April 2012 and mmc July 2012 and another MC May 2013 since then nothing. At 43 we had given up hope then I find myself 5 days late and poas and getting a bfp. Am seriously frightened now. DH has 2DD 15&18 from previous and I have 1DD 11 from previous but we would love a little one together.........

Amazing, greenlizard??? More terrifying,I think! I already have 5 children. And I am old, having twins would be really hard I should think! But of course, I'd gladly take them

Symptoms not glaringly obvious like the other day. I think maybe I had a virus. Yesterday I felt normal tiredness, not that awful dragging tiredness. I have had a few symptoms, but I seem to have them almost monthly, so I don't know if I am having hormonal symptoms (most likely) or implantation failure. Yesterday I had heartburn, I am gagging on my toothbrush and my boobs are bigger and very tender. My temperature has gone up a notch too. But it could mean nothing at all (as in the last 19 cycles since my last miscarriage).

Jbrd, although you didn't get an simple answer to the miscarriages (with a simple cure), at least you know it is just one of those things and you can move onwards. I may have mentioned before that I had a lot of testing done, and other than finding a couple of small incidental things (I have a raised ANA, which means I either have or will develop an autoimmune disease, and my Vitamin D wasn't as high as it could be, and my testosterone levels were lowish). In the end it was decided that it is age related and we also had results of a trisomy.

It is just a matter of hoping and waiting for a healthy egg and sperm combo, and there's no reason why it shouldn't happen for you.

I am now 8 DPO, so I reckon in about 4 days I'll have an inkling either way. Usually by 12 dpo my temperature falls if I am getting AF.

hi Pixie and welcome. blimey you have had a rough run of it but CONGRATULATIONS!!

You will find yourself in fine and empathetic company here. I am 44 had a MMC at 10 weeks in June and am currently 5wks 5 days pregnant (those days are ver important!) I am also scared but you will find a lot of support from the ladies here and I am happy to hold your hand (unless people would prefer us to chat on the pregnancy boards??)

Hi everyone, I had GP appointment to discuss why my periods have been non periods for the last couple of months. A few other symptoms too (very similar to pregnancy symptoms so got excited for a while there!) Anyway, she was very good and I had a blood test yesterday to test for thyroid problem. Being booked in for scan to check ovaries are of but she says a cyst is unlikely to affect bleeding. It might just be a bit of stress too so could just improve on its own. Does anyone know if thyroid can stop you getting pregnant or cause mc? I forgot to ask that! I'm glad she took me seriously anyway. Dh and I are going to an adoption open evening tonight too so keeping all options open. I'm quite excited about it!!
Congratulations Pixie, I know it's impossible to relax, I'd be the same. I have a friend who's sister is an acupuncturist who specialises in, firstly helping people to get pregnant, but also keeping them pregnant. Might be worth a try?
JBrd, sorry about your losses, glad nothing is fundamentally wrong though. I have to have clexane for blood clot too if I was pregnant. I googled it and a few people said they had mcs and then used clexane with a pregnancy and everything was fine. Maybe coincidence but they called it 'their miracle drug!!'

Hello ladies,
I'd love to join too, please.
I'm 41 and had an early mc in June.
I disappeared for months because it was so frightening to read about the repeat mcs. One was horrendous; the thought of a repeat is unimaginable.
Big hugs to ladies who've been through this.
And congratulations to the expectant moms. Its been very inspirational reading your posts.

Oh, I so wish Gum is expecting! I love to read stories about women over 40 having babies. Green, Morien, Pixie, Irish, Diege- you are an inspiration. AF here. Bit disappointing, but I am holding out hope for a (re)productive Christmas. It would be so great to have a new baby in September (and be on maternity leave for a chunk of the school year!)

welcome to all new people here! Grizzer, indeed, thyroid issues can cause mc, usually not very early ones, rather around weeks 8-10. So, good you are being checked out.

Jbrd, i think i would be relieved that something was wrong with baby last mc, rather than you yourself. you can just try and hope for a new and healthy egg and baby next time. having multiple mc with healthy embryos is worse - then it is maternal issue and of course as many of these remain unexplained, they are really difficult to treat. good luck for next time!

Lizard, well done on keeping tour calm and not going for the scan too early.POAS is understandable, so go for this 3+ on the digi if it helps you. When i last got to almost 6 weeks with my hopes still alive the stress for immense. i feel for you.

Morien, first, extremely happy you found a doc ready to get down and dirty with you for tour childbirth! i so hate these posh docs who say it can only be done legs in stirrups because otherwise they would be uncomfortable in getting your baby out. very happy you found a natural-leaning gyne. And i think it is important to have a doula also for your mental state. Their job is to be there for you in different stages of pregnancy and childbirth. just talking about your situation to a doula can maybe help. Also, trying natural remedies (accupressure, reflexology, etc.) to improve how you feel might be a good idea, all these things are good in pregnancy because traditional loading with medicaments is probably not a good idea....

Hopeful, fingers crossed for you and Diege,good the wound is healing.

Congratulations Pixie, just remember our mantra: "For today I am pregnant". I know how angst ridden and difficult those first weeks are. If I get pregnant again, I will be a nervous wreck. Plenty of support here. Most of us have been in your shoes.

Welcome Tadpole. I am very sorry about your miscarriage. After my first miscarriage I felt like you, that another would be unimaginable. But we women are made of strong stuff, it is amazing what we can get through. There's every reason to believe you will be fine next time around.

WARNING: the next paragraph is about miscarriages, please don't read on if you find it upsetting.

Jbrd, I was reading about trisomies and what is amazing is that many of them are incredibly rare (affecting only 1% of pregnancies). It is incredibly unfair that we can be hit with the 1% stat more than once isn't it? Knowing that my first miscarriage was a trisomy 13, my doctor assured me it would be almost impossible that it happened again to me. But she failed to mention that the other trisomies may affect me. It did give me a false sense of hope I think, and having the next miscarriage was more shocking than the first. The third was less of a blow(probably as it was much earlier and I had less time to bond).The experience has made me a lot more realistic about my chances now, but also still very hopeful that all will be well. I just can't help it, I am a "glass half full" kind of girl .

Grizzer, I hope you can find out what's going on. Sorry it wasn't a surprise pregnancy that was discovered! That would be a dream wouldn't it? To go to the doctor and find out you were already in the second trimester, to not have all the worry of the first trimester. My sister's second pregnancy wasn't discovered until she was 20 weeks pregnant, can you believe! T'was a bit of a shock, I can tell youbut at least it was a short pregnancy! Thyroid problems definitely make pregnancy and carrying a baby to term really difficult. If it is your thyroid you can be treated and it makes all the difference. My husband had a slight thyroid problem and my naturopath suggested it may have contributed to my first miscarriage. I disagree, as we found out it was a trisomy, but maybe his thyroid being out affected his sperm in some way. I am a bit about it and I haven't been back to see her since!

AFM, don't hold out too much hope, Zen, I have a feeling that I am not going to get a bfp after all. I am not even compelled to test unless AF doesn't show, which isn't like me at all. I think I am getting very close to accepting that I am now infertile and feel almost ready to move on. As we were driving home yesterday DS asked if I could please have another baby. He told me he wants someone younger to play with because his older sisters don't want to play with him. My DH was in the car and proceeded to explain that a new baby would require all my attention, would mean less time spent with DS, and the age gap (6 years) would mean he wouldn't necessarily have a good playmate. And instead of feeling sad I felt that DH was right, and having a new baby would actually be all those things and more hard work. So perhaps moving on isn't a bad thing at all. Let's see how I feel in about 5 days shall we probably devastated that another cycle didn't work out...

Wishing everyone well...have a lovely day

Green....I am feeling under the weather and J's tongue wasn't improving with the medicine and made him quite sick, so we are using yogurt on my breasts and a swab with cotton bud and yogurt on his tongue and after 24 hours it seems to be clearing somewhat..

And

Sorry lost the longest post ever...typed with 1 thumb on my mobile....

Reading you all as always...

morien sorry to hear you're having a difficult time, I definitely get what you mean by feeling knackered and struggling to care for dsc..
I hope your Dh will understand and that you can find good support..
As for me I'm again in a bad place…combined test increased my odds for down from 1:50 to 1:26..because of extremly high bhcg in blood while the scan was fine..I feel devasted as if theb risk was 1:2.. Can't have a cvs now, i think I will go with harmony even if very expensive here...I didn't dare to tell results to dp..

And all this on the top of the cmv problem… So I apologize for not name checking, just a wArm welcome to the newcomers..wishing you all quick to come and successful pregnancies! [Smile?
diege happy you're getting rid of your scar…
Hope for some words of encouragement..?thanks]

Mozz sorry for the additional worry . I would say though that high hcg isn't necessarily a bad thing - I have had high levels in the pregnancies in which it was tested, and for some women this is just normal for them. It doesn't necessarily mean anything 'sinister', just how some women react in their bloods in pregnancy. High risks for ds are usually created by 'bad' bloods, and if you read through other threads on here it is usually those with good scans but bad bloods that turn out absolutely fine. As you know I did have the harmony and all was well, and it may well be what you need to put your mind at rest xx

jbrd it is good that you at least are further on with the investigations, and that to some extent knowing the last mc was a trisomy does give you some level of rational explanation. Your next pregnancy will of course be stressful but it does seem that you are getting the best care and of course we are all here for you xx

Gum I can back up the 'hard work' aspect of a baby in your 40s if that helps (which of course you know already), and I am 'only' 43 . Of course we both know that it's nothing compared to the positives and it would be so wonderful if you could indeed give ds a younger sibling. I so want you to get there and feel nervous around this time of the month of your behalf! I do think it's a good idea to wait until af is due/late though, both practically in terms of late implantation and also emotionally xx

I'd better go - ds1 off school today with an upset tummy so trialling the baby/toddler/pre-schooler outing as need to get scar checked, hopefully for the last time. I sure they'll wreck the nurses office while I'm lying there with my jelly belly hanging out!
Love to all xxx

Oh, I still wanted to say CONGRAUTLATIONS Pixie!!

Mozz GOOD LUCK!

Belated congratulations to green on your bfp, I hope you have a boringly healthy pregnancy.

Diege, the problems with your scar sound miserable, glad it seems to be finally healing now.

Morien, sorry you are feeling though, but it's good that you recognise that you may need help.

Gum, I'm willing you to get your BFP.

Congratulations pixie.

Mozza, I'm so sorry you're having such a worrying time. I hope the harmony test provides some peace of mind

Irish, 16 weeks already, how did that happen?

Welcome to the newbies, I hope your stays are short.

Hi to everyone else.

I know I haven't been on for a while, I didn't get round to catching up after our holiday - which was ok, DH slept a lot and we did less than I'd have liked. DD2 (who is 11 weeks now) was great on the plane both ways, no crying and very calm, which was a relief as no-one wants to be next to the screaming baby, not even the parents!

I have to go to a funeral this afternoon, the mum of one of DD1's school friends. She had cancer, she was 34, and she leaves 2 lovely girls of 5 and 3.

mozza So sorry to hear that yet another thing has been added to your worries! I had never heard that high Hcg levels contribute to the calculations of the risk for Downs, but I have to admit that it's a while since I have had this test, so not up to speed.
Why can't you have the CVS now? I thought that would be the next thing to get more clarity?
Please talk to your DH, he needs to know! Def go and have the harmony test done, if you can, anything that will give you some peace of mind! hugs

Sparkly Good to hear from you, glad to hear that all seems well. How is your DH now with DD2, any improvements...? What a sad time for your DD1's friend, it must be awful.

I am feeling quite resigned and 'what will be, will be' at the moment... Currently ovulating and back to ttc for real - for once without feeling all stressed and anxious about it, which is a relief. Now the question is how long can I keep this up?! Hoping that I fall pg again quickly, because, honestly, I've really gone off SWI .