Fabulous Fecund Over Forties TTC: fertile,prolific,fruitful and productive. Hand over the bfp's and hand them over now!!

[hopefulgum]

Starting the new thread for you wonderful ladies before I fly off into the sunset.

May this thread bring us the happy news we've all been waiting for.

Hello! Have a wonderful trip sparkly - you're certainly right about packing taking as long as you leave for it. I shift from planning day by day outfits (for the dcs) to throwing a load of whatever's clean into the suitcase and tbh the end result is pretty much the same - not enough socks and pants and the same things worn again and again.
Gum don't lose hope with your chart - as long as there's a shift the actual temps don't really mater iirc? Mine certainly were never high, just enough to convince me I'd ovulated but never like some of the charts on ff. Handbag sounds great - I love red accessories
calibee I'd say you were doing pretty well on the getting to know people front. Give yourself a good pat on the back, just be yourself, and I'm sure you'll get a good group of friends even if it might take longer than it might in 'normal' circumstances.
mazzie you do indeed have a will of steel - have you got a test date in mind?
All ok here. Laurie doing well but he had lost over a pound at his weigh-in which has worried me a bit. He has been mixed fed, but I've now gone fully on to formula as the loss was over 15% which has concerned me. He does seem to have upped his game feed-wise these last few days, so fingers crossed all will be well on weds when he's next weighed. I tell you, the worries never end!
Hope everyone is ok - treating ourselves to an Indian takeaway tonight!

Good Morning!

Deige I reckon I have almost completely lost hope with my chart. I have never had a chart that looks so awful. Today my temperature dipped below cover line! ugh! It sucks. Today I will buy a new battery for my thermometer, just in case that's the issue. I've pretty well concluded that this month isn't going to result in a BFP and I think I may even have early PMS as I have felt really flat and sad all week. That could be a result of a sick son, lack of sleep, anxiety over illness, etc, or an early pms, and maybe my luteal phase will be short, especially with this temperature drop today. I am 9 DPO according to FF, but I think I might even be 10 dpo. Oh, and a weird thing (which makes me suspect menopause)is that I am waking up feeling hot, but my temperature doesn't reflect it. I am so !

Anyway, having decided I am not pregnant, I shall just move on, rally up the strength and hope for good timing next month. I'm at that stage of the month feeling dejected and fed up with ttc, month after month, year after year with no joy. But I do know that I have a choice, and I don't have to keep doing it, so, as they say, I've made my bed... I just want a happy ending...

Well, it's my Dh's birthday tomorrow, so we are having some friends over tonight. That means a busy day for me - I am hoping to have a swim today, it's been a week since my last swim (perhaps that's why I feel blue - no exercise), then I'll catch up with my sister, pick up a few things in town, then home to bake nigella's chocolate pavlova, as well as a chocolate ripple cake and rice pilaf. Friends are bringing casseroles, so I won't bother with a main course. Hopefully I will fit in a little rest somewhere along the line!

mazzie, any news???Surely you have tested by now?

Oh dear. Now I have just read that Estrogen will cause low bbt. That does make sense - especially if I have hot flashes. I thought my estrogen was low, so I took the red clover isoflavones this cycle - but it looks more likely that it is high -that might explain the low bbt. Perhaps I need some vitex next month to sort out my hormones, and hopefully balance out the estrogen/progesterone balance? So tired of all this

Hi gum! Sorry you're feeling down about the whole ttc business I think I would definitely be trying the vitex next month, perhaps with B6 alongside it. I don't think your LP is especially short, but in terms of hormone regulation (if indeed it is in need of regulating) it will have some effect.
Off to bed now - dreading the hr going back!!! Will just have to roll with the inevitable 5am start by ds2! Dh will be doing that one for sure

Hi everyone. I hope you had a nice weekend.
It is rather quiet in here...echo...echo...

I had a good weekend. DH's birthday bash was good, I had a few glasses of champagne and enjoyed myself. Sunday morning I felt pretty ordinary and ended up back in bed around 10:30 for an hour! I just felt so tired. I was very tired the day before too. I have been hoping the tiredness was a symptom of pregnancy, but that is seeming less and less likely as the days go by and my temperature slips lower and lower! This month's chart is the most pathetic one I have ever had (under coverline today). It would be ironic and marvelous if I was pregnant with such a shit chart. But it seems very unlikely. Oh and the BFN yesterday, that's not really building any confidence either. But it's not over til it's over, so a few more days of waiting...

Mazzie40, you must have some news for us by now? Please let us know if you got a BFP or if AF turned up?

Diege, I don't envy you the daylight savings. We had that over here one year, but the overwhelming majority of people hated it, so they ditched it. I am so glad, as I was like a walking zombie for the first few weeks. Although, you would be turning them back to normal, is that right? I'm confused Which isn't that hard these days, I often am!

It is Monday here, and as DS is much better, we will be off to the pool this morning, so I shall have a swim too, which is good. Unfortunately I have been really slack with my eating the last few weeks and have gained a kilo or two (grrr!) so I have resolved to start a healthier eating plan today. I also haven't done the fasting for a while, which was good for weight loss, or maintaining at least, but I just found it very difficult, and also found exercising on those days really hard. I have also read over and over that intermittent fasting is not good for ttc, and right now, that's the most important thing, so it is back to healthy eating and chucking in sugar (I seem to have been binging on chocolate lately which is the worst thing for me, it starts a terrible cycle of sugar craving - particularly bad in the tww).

The sun is shining, which is great as we haven't seen much of spring here yet. I think I need some Vitamin D, and so does DS. Hopefully we'll have some time in the garden today.

I hope all the preggo ladies are fine, that the mummies with new babes are getting enough sleep and that all us ladies still ttc get our beautiful BFP's and THB's really, really soon (I still want one for Christmas...)

Hi gum !
Glad you had a good weekend celebrating your DH's birthday, that chocolate pavlova cake sounds lovely mmmm.
It's been horrible rainy weather here, I envy you your sunshine!
I was wondering, if you don't get your BFP this cycle , could you have any of your hormone levels checked at the doctors again to give you some peace of mind?
I told some friends at church after Mass yesterday about the baby and one lady told me her mum was 46 when she had her younger sister and she had an aunt who was 48 when she had her last!

Diege even though it's half term so I don't have to get the girls up for school this morning and we could potentially have had a bit of a lie in, our young dog hasn't adjusted to the hour change and was barking at 6 am for her breakfast and to go outside! Hope all your little ones are coping with the time difference,it is a nuisance but will be good to have slightly brighter mornings(when the sky isn't overcast with rainclouds!)

I got the results of my combined test for chromosomal abnormalities on Friday. I never had the test done with my other children because I knew I wouldn't terminate for Down's anyway. This time,just due to my age, my background risk is 1 in 30 . I was told at my NHS scan they wouldn't even tell me my nuchal fold measurement unless it was being taken as part of the combined test so I said I'd have the bloods done too,thinking if there was an indication there was a problem it might be better to face up to it early and be prepared. I then had a week of worry , I wouldn't have amnio anyway and if your result is less than 1 in 150 they offer it. Luckily my result is 1 in 320 so too low risk to be offered any further screening . I know we could still be that 1 but it's a better result than I hoped for !
My nausea is easing but my varicose veins in one legs are starting to get painful. They started to cause problems in my last pregnancy and I had to be given a very attractive surgical stocking to wear, but I'm sure it was a lot later in the pregnancy. Everything settled down once DD2 was born and they haven't caused much trouble for the last 10 years until now! Does anyone have any experience of wearing maternity suport tights/leggings? I was wondering if they would help and if I should try some of those for now. However, I know how lucky I am and am not complaining about any symptom! I sometimes still can't quite believe it.

Mazzie have you tested yet?

Sparkly hope you have a good holiday.

Hello to everyone else!

Hi everyone still lurking because nothing exciting to report. Has anyone tried Fertilaid? I was thinking of trying it as my last two cycles have been 19 days? Think my hormones are all over the shop. I dont know where to start with vitamins and supplements. Just when I think i'm about to ovulate bloody af shows up! Any advice gratefully received!

Irish, good to hear your risks are low for any abnormalities! Am sure all is fine,we try so hard, so finally it all has to turn out well!
Me sitting on hotel balcony somewhere on Lanzarote, really liking the summery weather and not missing the storm in Belgium/ Germany. Morien, hope all is well in your area there....
My two boys have been really up to sightseeing first time ever and my friends have a 2yo and a baby. It has an effect onme thinking it might actually not be so intolerable not to have another one - my life is so easy compared to theirs.... But I know if I had another I would stay home, not traipsing the globe, and really happy.....my daughter is 24, should I settle for grandchildren?

Jass, I hear what you are saying! My friend and neighbour has a two year old boy and the battles she has daily with his tantrums have me wondering if the constant BFN's are not so bad...But on the other hand, I know that all the hard work and trouble is worth it. I know how I feel about my DS, it has been so worthwhile and I adore him! Also I still feel one last baby will complete my family.

I am quite sure I won't be getting a BFP this month as I am spotting this morning, so it is just a matter of time now. It is funny because my temperature went up a little this morning! But I think that's because I slept a little longer than usual.

mummalah, sorry to hear about your cycle. Are you charting and temping? It may help you see if you are having annovulatory cycles or short cycles. I think you could try Vitex and a B complex and see if that lengthens your cycle.

Irish, what fabulous odds they are, I am so pleased for you.

Well, I was on my way to swimming yesterday when I got an unexpected call from my sister informing me that my uncle (from London) and family were on their way to visit me! Completely unexpected, but really nice to catch up too. So I turned around, came home and was flat out for three hours scrubbing the house clean and baking and cooking lunch! I now have a lovely clean house to enjoy! Today I am mummy helper at DS's kindy for a couple of hours, then I have the rest of the day to myself. So I will have that swim I missed yesterday and perhaps some time in the garden.

mazzie, how could you torture us with no response???Please tell us whether AF turned up or if you got your BFP???

I still don't know what my risks are with cmv..yesterday I went to the centre where I should have my cvs and they suggested I ask for advice to another hospital reguarding wether to choose cvs or a late amnyo to check for cmv..I rushed to the hospital and they want to test me again and fixed an appointment for november 12 with an infectious diseases cosultant..I therefore had to go back to the
First centre and change my cvs appointment ..then I went to the gp to get new prescriptions for the test... With all this worries I'm bonding to the baby sooner than expected...

mozz that all sounds horrendously stressful Has anyone been able to sit down with you and go through the risks of having an active infection? Are you getting anti-virals, or is that not the policy where you are? I do know of a friend of a friend who was in a similar situation to you and baby absolutely fine (I think they were concerned about hearing/eyesight issues but all was well). It's such a shame after everything you've been through to have this horrible stress hanging over you xx .
Gum Nothing quite like visiting rellies to get the house clean eh . Enjoy it while it lasts . Sounds like a productive day though plus you managed your swim - v.important to keep that up! Any more news on the temps?
jass, holiday sounding pretty idyllic I know what you mean about grandchildren etc, but from your posts I think you're not quite ready to settle for that option just yet.
All ok-ish here. I've got a nasty infection in my section scar (started bleeding sunday night) and am on ABs. IN hindsight I felt pretty rotten but getting better by the day though very painful. Laurie is also being reweighed today as he had lost well over a pound from his birth weight last week. Pretty anxious about it (the weight) though if there is a problem (ie, an underlying issue) better to know about it and get treatment etc. My hunch is that he's absolutely fine, but nothing quite like the threat of hosp admission to make me stressed about it all! He's being fully formula fed now anyway in response to last week's weight (a relief tbh to go onto bottles fully) so hopefully will result in a happy mw and health visitor!

Hi ladies. Sorry to read and run, I should be cooking dinner. Just wanted to say that AF found me today. No surprises and frankly sick of the whole waiting/temping/testing businessBut actually feeling okay now and I guess I will just take it day by day, but I feel that this part of my journey may be coming to a close. Honestly there is only so much of this ttc malarky a person can do

Sorry about the worries, mozza.It sounds very stressful.

Diege, I hope all is well with little Laurie, and sorry about the infection. I do hope you are on the mend now.

Much love to all xxx

Hello . Sorry about af gum . It does sound like a very odd cycle you were having though and hopefully one of the one-off 'wtf' cycles we know and love on here! Might you try the vitex/B6 next month?
Ok here - Laurie has thankfully put on weight (9ozs) and though not yet up to birth weight is heading in the right direction. I woke up with a vomiting bug last night, and have a lovely anal fissure this morning too...Feeling a bit sorry for myself as scar also still very sore - will leave it until tomorrow and may have to head back to GPs as scar still weeping and excruciating to clean. I know I sound ungrateful, but I just wish I could feel well so that I could enjoy him properly. At least dh is working from home for the next few days, so won't have to do the school runs etc.
Have to venture out to get Halloween goodies, and then will try and do as little as possible!

Oh Diege, it sounds like you are having a rough time. Poor you!You don't sound the tiniest bit ungrateful - you are having a bad run and you are entitled to a bit of sympathy! I am glad Laurie has put on weight and heading in the right direction.That is a relief.And great that your DH is working from home. Am I allowed to ask what your DH does for a living? It is just simple curiousity, I love to know what everyone does

My Dh is also a teacher, which is great, we get all the same holidays together. It is just as well we enjoy each other's company!!

Although Af is here, I am not sad and feeling good. I think I am a little bit excited because the flow is heavier this time. Not heavy, just heavier than it has been for a long time, which kind of puts my mind at rest as I had worried that my lining was too thin for implantation. Perhaps the red clover helped in that regard, but the low temps have me a bit baffled. We'll see what happens this month. I am tempted to take the vitex and see what happens. I have taken it in the past and it hasn't caused problems, so I will see how that goes.

I am struggling a bit to believe that I am about to turn 47 in about 9 days. It seems ludicrous that I am ttc at this age. And had you asked me 10 years ago, I would never had thought I would still be trying for a baby. I guess I would have thought it would all have happened by now, and I'd be moving on. I keep moving the line in the sand, and now think although I may not actively ttc I might leave it open til I am about 50. But then again, perhaps that is foolish, and I should just wait for grandchildren??? Maybe I should accept that there is not a single healthy egg left and my hormones are out of whack and there's no chance at all? I just don't know. I had a bfp when I was 43, one at 44 and one at 45, but none at 46...so perhaps all the viable eggs are gone.

When I started ttc this baby(which still hasn't come) I was 42 and really thought that perserverance would win me the prize. I am actually a bit amazed that it hasn't. Having said that I know my life is full of blessings, so I won't let it get me down.

I'd love to hear how everyone else is? And mazzie, why didn't you come back and tell us what happened? I hate it when I don't know the ending.

Hopeful, am turning 44 by the end of the year, and of course share your feelings. On the other hand, I was only 40 when I started to try for this last elusive baby, and is not my fault it takes me years to get there. Same for you. I guess birth-control is just not for us, until we get these babies or we just go menopausal. I will be ready to accept defeat,but not to contribute towards defeat (take birth control).

Diege, good to hear Laurie is gaining and indeed, even if I wish I had your problems with the wound instead of my own lack of the baby problem, I can understand that even in the fresh-mummy-land all is not blissful happiness! Hope you get the wound cleaned up soon, I would try some camomile or even vodka compresses, they always help me with rotten wounds and I rot really well sadly.

jass thanks for the advice re: camomile - will def try that. Had a bath last night with tea-tree oil (I know baths are 'banned' but couldn't resist a soak!) so hopefully that will have helped a bit. Scar still very sore so may well pop to surgery on Monday just to check and see if 'still sore' constitutes a continuing infection, or if this is as good as it gets at this stage ... Don't think the tummy/section overhang is helping either, so am determined to try and step up the healthy eating.
Am thinking about ways to stay off work a bit longer rather than back feb. We are thinking about delaying return another month (so end of March) which would also mean avoiding the work issue of me going back to doubled up teaching. Work would be cross as they thought they'd be saving on using my cover money but would have no choice but to change their arrangements. Feel a bit guilty though .
Gum dh is an engineer . He does things with pipes and stress analysis and I always stumble when people actually ask me what he does in 'real life'. Thankfully no-one ever asks for me detail (I wonder why ). On the ttc-front I personally think you should keep going. I think actively preventing things, as jass says, would be just too cruel, and that for your sanity you need to keep going for the duration, however hard it might be - and there is of course a fair chance you'll also get the prize of a take home baby - certainly more than if you were to abandon ttc-ing. I would def take the vitex in your position - I personally have needed it to regulate things from age 40 onwards as otherwise my cycles would be all over the place. Vit B6 also results in EWM for me, which otherwise I wouldn't have.
Quiet-ish weekend here, though have dh's mum over to see the baby for the first time. She has dementia that is progressing at quite a rate so important that she sees baby before any decisions about moving to residential etc are made. Sad to see the effects of such an awful disease
After ds2's birthday last week (2 y) we now have dd3's bd on Thursday, then dd2's the following Friday. THEN I can start thinking about Christmas!!

Diege, i sometimes use tea tree oil around the wound to calm down infection, in case the wound is red around itself. Not on the wound, mind, but rubbed in around it.

Hi Jass - have only used tea tree well-diluted - my eyes water at the thought of applying direct to wound - eek! It def doesn't seem so stingy today, and really hope it's resolving.

Hi ladies - diege - hope you feel less sore soon. Gum - i am sorry it wasn't your month. I still believe you could get one last good egg, if you feel you can keep going. Better news for my dad. His treatment and lack of obvious secondaries means he will see Christmas and maybe even Easter. Afm I am day 26, longest cycle in a while. Had quite a few symptoms but boobs not sore so I don't think this is my month. We'll see...

Hello everyone! I pop in most days to read but haven't posted for a while.

Isadorable - so pleased for you that there's better news about your dad. That must mean a lot to you and your family.

Diege - what a rough time you're having! Hope you'll be feeling less sore soon. I couldn't manage without my baths either... As for extending your maternity leave, I don't think you should feel guilty...but I'm sure I would if I were in your shoes. That seems so soon to go back though, just round the corner. (I'm in the fortunate position of being able to take as long as I like without them needing to hire a direct replacement for me - and I don't need to decide for ages yet).

Hopeful - sorry AF got you. To carry on ttc, not to carry on...you've got to go with what your gut instinct tells you - but after all this, could you really see yourself closing the ttc door?

As for me, saw the gynae last week. You may remember I was in trouble for putting too much weight on last time; this time I was in trouble for not putting enough on Just as well I decided not to pay any heed to it. On a different note, he told me that I'll probably need a C-section because of my hips (I had them both replaced a few years ago). Am a bit concerned about this as I'm not sure he's right; I suspect he's never had a patient with artificial hips before as it's not that common at this age (my surgeon says my hips should have no effect on my pregnancy & childbirth) Gynae says I won't be able to open my legs wide enough (this without even having checked how much movement I've got) despite having said last time that how wide you can open your legs isn't a decisive factor for a successful vaginal birth. What do you wise people think? Those of you that have had vaginal births, how important is it to be able to get your legs wide apart? (I can only go to about 90 degrees - it doesn't hurt, I just don't go further than that). Obviously, if a C-section really is advisable then I'm not going to insist on a vaginal birth - but if I have a c-section I want it to be for the right reasons. And I really, really wouldn't want to end up with an emergency c-section because the gynae turned out to be right and I wouldn't listen.

Hello to everyone else Hope you're all having a lovely weekend.

Hello ladies.

Diege, I hope the tea tree is helpful. I personally swear by the stuff, and manuka honey (though it is quite messy to use) for treating infection.

So nice to hear from you isadorable, I am glad to hear that things are going well with your dad. My FIL is about to embark on some chemo as the radiation didn't really work on the cancer on his face. Poor thing isn't doing very well at all. He's very negative and feeling sorry for him self, which I can understand, but I don't think it helps at all and is less than endearing. My poor DH tries so hard to jolly him along, is always calling him and following up (his parents never call him) the doctor's appointments and helping them on their farm. But it doesn't seem to improve his dad's mood.

Morien, it sounds like your pregnancy is progressing well. As for your hips, I don't recall having to open my legs all that much when giving birth. I prefer to to do it standing up, so my legs weren't spread all that much. It is about the pelvis spreading, and the cervix and vagina, so I am not sure your Gynae really knows what he's talking about. If I were you, I'd speak to the specialist surgeon, and a midwife. They would have a much better idea I would think.

I think you all know me too well. I can't see myself giving up ttc. I just toy with the idea because it can get me down sometimes, and I wonder if my continuing is healthy. But, the truth is I am not letting it impact on my life very much. I am still a happy, functioning person. I go to work, I mother my children, I have time for a social life etc,etc. I do find it difficult seeing so many others come and go on the thread (come in ttc and leave pregnant or with a baby) whilst I still wait for my baby. But it isn't so bad that I want to leave the thread as it is also so supportive,helpful and hopeful. I actually love that so many women over forty get pregnant and have healthy babies, it's just a bit hard to be the one always watching from the sidelines and wishing it was me. But, I wouldn't want anyone to stop coming and talking about any of it and celebrating it, because that isn't what I feel at all.

Ultimately, I do not regret that I am ttc, or have done so for the last 4 years. I don't regret making friends on mumsnet, and I don't regret the bfp's and losses I have had. All of it has made me who I am, and has the effect of shining a great big light on the fact that I am so very lucky to have the five miracle babies who are now my children, and the loveliest people.

So, no regrets, and a renewed excitement at the chance to try again this month. Who knows, maybe this time I'll get a little birthday surprise. How lovely that would be

I am having a nasty attack of hay fever today after spending all afternoon in the garden. Today is windy and I am sure it won't improve, so I'll take some anti-histamines and get back out there today. I am very please with my efforts and how it is all coming together. Last night we ate a spinach quiche made from the spinach in my garden, and a big green salad, also from my garden. Very pleased with myself

Happy Sunday everyone

Hello everybody,diege I'm sorry about all this trouble with this wound..I hope you can soon start to enjoy little laurie 100% and happy to hear he's getting weight!
morien no real idea about your problem but Iagree with others a mw should no more than a gynae..
Isadorable it's good to hear some
encouraging news about your dad [smile ]
diege I think anti virals are prescribed to the child agger birth

Sorry I meant after birth,but of course they don't fix previousprenatal damages..here in you may be given a therapy under experimentation based on hyper immunoglobulins during pregnancy but of course I hope I won't need it..about the risks, they should be low but it seems there's some uncertainty about infection previous too but not so far from conception, which scares me as it could be my case..after searching for days on pubmed I decided it's wiser to wait and talk to consultant on the 12..
Earing loss doesn't scare me that much but I'm worried about much more severe outcomes

reported for first trimester infections.. As I'm worried for other issues that may not be related to cmv..

Mozzarella, try to be calm and trust yourself and your baby. I had something similar - with my last successful pregnancy around 14 w I was diagnosed with lime's disease, and it was a relapse after having had treatment for it just weeks before I fell preg. So I knew for sure I have had the virus with me for the whole duration of pregnancy and it has syphilis - like effects on babies. But my baby was outwardly looking OK! So I attached myself to the hope that if he had had effects from the beginning, it would have been visibly bad, and if it is not, I try to forget it all and trust my baby. It did not help that my gyne and GP were both extremely worried. I seemed the calm person in the whole situation, honestly. And I was damn very right. I was off on work trip when docs called me with the news and sent me to find a pharmacy in another country to start immediate AB treatment. Well, getting prescription drugs in Copenhagen with faxed over prescription from Luxembourg was not fun, but kept me busy and not thinking about it all. I believe keeping busy, not thinking and trusting your babe is what you need...

Morien I think in this area of Europe it is a rule that unless you are 100% fit and normal it's Caesarian. I have twice returned to my country to give birth, because they really do not know what is natural in this place. They induce babies to make sure they come before Christmas or Easter and not spoil holidays, for heavens sake! People get induced so routinely that even their permission is not asked if they are given a sweep or inducing pill vaginally.
In your situation, I really do not know what you could do. I would say go to somewhere where birth center is in same house with high level hospital care, so you really can switch from midwife-led birth to Caesarian in minutes. But of course that would be foolish, if you dread emergency Caesarian more than elective.
It is weird your doc does not suggest you can have this baby not lying on your back, legs spread. It indicates he really is narrow minded about how you can give birth in general. With that doc, I guess you are most comfortable accepting his suggestion of Caesarian, as he will not be helpful or encouraging for other options. I have no hip problem, but I have given birth last 3 times on all fours, defo not spread 90 degrees or more. Standing up, sitting on birthing chair, all these options require no splits while giving birth. And your doc did not suggest any......
If you want to explore other options, you have to accept you will need a different doc, you are not going to retrain yours, that is all the advice I can give you.........