Tentatively Trying for Number Two - if you had a tough time in pregnancy/birth/conceiving/carrying your first child....

[BarbiesBeaver]

I couldn't find another thread like this so am hoping there are some more people out there who had a bit of a traumatic time TTC number one and are now considering trying to repeat the process again.

Perhaps you had a long time trying or fertility treatment for your first child, or were ill during pregnancy, or suffered a traumatic birth, or had losses or miscarriages along the way.

Perhaps reading the other TTC2 threads brings back those painful memories of month after month with no BFP, or if you aren't sure you even can have another child, or if the faint positive line after pissing on a stick is just the start of the stress (will it stick this time? Can I afford fertility treatment again? Oh no what will work think if I need months off ill again? How on earth will I get through the birth? etc). I thought a dedicated thread for those in this situation might be useful and allow those going through similar experiences a safe place to share their fears and experiences. And drink plenty of virtual gin and eat plenty of hard core cake along the way!

My background - I am a previous BESH (they are a friendly bunch partial to gin) and had fertility treatment for my PFB. I had a couple of miscarriages along the way. The clock is ticking and my eggs are getting more wizened and ancient so am thinking of starting the whole horrid business again. And it's a bit scary.

Mewling agree I am hoping for a miracle here too. We had about 5 yrs of natural ttc, all the tests,ICSI ( straight to it due to male issues) which failed, no frosties. Then I conceived a few months later, naturally. We had paid for the immune tests to find out I had lots of issues so when saw private consultant for results I was already just pregnancy so put on intralipids, clexane, steroids, etc etc. For the Ivf my dh took Menevit ( have to order from abroad but what the clinic suggested to improve sperm motility and numbers. Can get all supplements separately but easier to take one tablet for dh and it worked out at £15 a month including shipping from Australia!!

So am trying naturally again ... Do not think can tempt dh to do ICSI again, but he is taking the supplements now!!

All the best for those using AC routes again.

Can I join you.

Struggle to conceive our DD, including a mc.

Difficult pregnancy with medical complications.

Difficult and long birth, resulting in her being rushed to SCBU before I got to see her.

Saw my consultant last week who was shocked to see me as, in his words, after my troubles he can't believe I'm prepared to go again!

Won't be able to try until August as need to switch some medication I'm on ... But then the roller coaster starts again!

Welcome and cocktails for Mewling, Hoop and Polka! Obscenely large slice of chocolate torte and Gin slings all around.

Good luck for the injections tomorrow Dave! Are they upping your doses at all? Mewling when do you start the next round?

I took 75mg daily DHEA last time around. I had an abandoned IUI cycle due to lack of egg response and the whole "consider donor eggs" chat, took DHEA for three months and had an improved response next time. Not sure if you can attribute that to the DHEA but the clinic was surprised in the improved response and were recommending other people try it based on my experience. I think I also got it from biovea. I will probably start it again when my preiods return.

I will probably try naturally for a year then go back to the clinic. I gave up bf'ing about 4/5 days ago and have no idea when it should come back, although I am having some twingey feelings so hopefully something is going on.

Good luck ladies, I like the fact we can all share our past experiences and anything that may help.

Hello all

What an incredibly challenging journey some of us have had to become parents.

Am really glad you started this thread Barbies

Wow, there are a lot of small people out there who are very lucky to have such tenacious parents who fought so hard to get them.

Good luck for tomorrow Dave.

Anyone armed with any good responses to the seemingly inevitable 'so when are you having number 2' questions? I was asked yesterday and couldn't think of any good responses on the spot. Not helped by the fact that they had to be polite ones so 'sod off it's none of your business' wasn't really an option.

Is DHEA for low egg numbers then? I have eggs, DH has sperm, still can't conceive though

were planning more ICSI next month barbie

Alexanderina I'd like some ideas on a pithy response to that question too. Usually I just say something wet like, yes we would like another child but we're enjoying the one we already have at the moment. When TTC #1, I think I have said something like, yes we would like a baby but it's not that easy for everyone.

It's hard, because it really isn't any of their business and I too would like to tell them to SOD OFF!!!!

Hello everyone...raises glass to all. Just thought I would chip in to my answer to people asking about a second- I really in whichever way seems most appropriate just say I'm just incredibly lucky to have ds. It shuts them up and I'm not ashamed of struggles and hopefully it might stop them asking the same question of others. I hate the way people make judgements or ask personal questions without even considering that things aren't always easy.
Good luck

cake I have been responding similarly. I just say something like we had a tough time having her. Some people I have elaborated on and they have told me of similar experiences. Plus my hyperemesis and shit birth were pretty much public knowledge so maybe I haven't had so many prying questions as they assume we have been put off forever!

Afternoon all. I hope no-one minds me popping a tentative foot in. I am a fairly recent BESH as I have a 6-month old but we have decided that we don't want to take too long to get pregnant (if possible)

It took us 20 months to conceive, and got a pregnant shortly after having an HSG and a round of Clomid.

Pregnancy was fairly straightforward other than some horrble bleeding at 8 weeks when they think I was carrying twins and lost one.

Still have no periods and I am breastfeeding. Could take a while!

I was thinking about the responses to questions about number 2 and realised that for the people I don't mind asking I've generally been muttering about 'yes it would be nice but you never can tell with these things and who knows if it'll ever happen'. It's the people I want to tell to sod off I'm struggling with. I kept v quiet about ttc the first time round and because of the way it worked out timing wise I think a lot of people assumed we planned it that way. I'm being a bit more open this time, but not much and only with a very few people.

Barbie how are you feeling about having stopped feeding? I'm imagining it's going to be a wrench when it happens, and realise I'm lucky to not be having to think about it in order to ttc.

Welcome Dor! Have a margarita slushy. Some people get pregnant while breastfeeding and no periods so you never know you might get lucky.

Thanks for asking Alex, I am pretty sad to be honest having stopped. It's been a week now and DD has asked a couple of times but I've told her "boobies broken" and she seems to accept that. I am relieved as well in a way, it means I don't have to watch out for what medications I can take and I feel a bit more free. I feel my hormones have taken a bit of a knock though and been very emotional and PMT like the past few days. Although that is contributed to by a load of rubbish at work and so on.

How is everyone else today? Dave how are you getting on?

Day 2 of downregging today :) jab went ok last night and DH took me out for a meal to 'celebrate' :)

I've just had my intralipid infusion this morning so I feel like I'm back on the roller coaster properly again now!

Barbie how old is your DD? I stopped BFing when DD was 14 months (although it was just a bedtime feed by then) and I found it harder than she did I think

'Boobies broken' makes me feel very sad :( I am just a soppy cow though.

So Dave if you had a meal to celebrate jab number 1, what will you do for embryo transfer?!

Anyone else watching Wimbledon? I'm not sure how much work I'm going to get done this fortnight...

She's 18 months Dave. I did have a cry the first time I told her that Alex, and again after she patted them the next day and said "broken". Probably should have thought of a better way to do it but I had to do it in a way she would understand there was a reason for no bf rather than me just with holding it.

And well done climbing back on the roller coaster again Dave!

Oh boobies broken made me sad too :(

Barbie I think it was a v sensible way of doing it and I might pinch it if I ever need to.

Oh I am not saying it wasn't sensible and have definitely filed it for future use!

Hello,

Please can I join you? I haven't even had chance to read the whole thread but I'm feeling very pathetic this evening. It took us nearly 18 months to conceive with our first. I had a lot of accupuncture and chinese herbs to regulate my cycle. I also had a procedure where I had my tubes dyed to check they weren't blocked. That month I conceived so I'm convinced that made the difference. I also know that the accupuncture got me into the position to get pregnant.

I really thought that this was our month for no. 2. Very stupidly I had convvinced myself that the tiniest speck of blood ever in some mucus was 'spotting'. Was lying in bed this morning wondering about whether or not to POAS when realised that she had already arrived and I was totally plastered.

Spent all day thinking that I should feel grateful for DD and that life is so much worse for so many people but I am absolutely gutted and have spent half the day at work fighting back the tears.

Does anyone else spend the first part of their period trying to convince themselves that it's some kind of spotting?

Apologies for gate crashing!

Will now go back and read everything!

Hi Fandango. That all sounds like entirely normal menkulness to me. One of the things I've found useful about temping apart from it appealing to my control freak nature is that it means I really do know it's game over. Doesn't stop me thinking insane things, but helps a bit.

I had acupuncture the first time round and conceived not long after starting it. I'm sure it's all a placebo effect and was entirely a coincidence, but I'm wondering whether to head down that route again.

Fandango I had an HSG and conceived straight away. We were on cycle 20 at that point. I loved temping because I could mourn the fact that my period was coming before it arrived so I felt like I could deal with it. Not sure temping with a 6 month old is do-able tho.

Feeling much less tearful today. Think that I may have to go back to temping as it does give that clearer picture. Also helped the accupuncturist to know what phase of the cycle to work on. I am convinced by the accupuncture/herbs combo because of the changes in my temping chart - from chaos to textbook!

Do you think that breast feeding has an impact - I know it doesn't in theory but wondering.

Am thinking that I will just have to go back to temping but it's hard to do it before getting up with a little one who needs to be dealt with!

Hope temping helps for you Fandango . I am still breastfeeding and had an early mc 6 months ago so do not thing it does (mc due to me struggling to stay pregnant not due to bf).

Now on month 11 of ttc #2, really hoped June would have been the month for lots of reasons - felt pregnant as well, but no.

Silly question, but my brain seems to be mush now - when in a cycle is the best time to conceive - say ovulate according to a cbm or an ovulation stick on day 15 - which days are best to cover? I just feel I am getting the basics all wrong right now!! Can't cope with thought of temping, but going to start using ovulation sticks or a clear blue monitor next cycle to try to pinpoint most fertile time.

Your fertile days are a couple of days either side if the day you ovulate.

I have a CBFM but can't use it yet as I haven't had a period. Need to have one to set it right. Think breastfeeding is definitely stoping my cycles returning.