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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Should I plan my due date?

20 replies

floppops · 11/06/2013 13:29

I turned 40 this year and we are thinking of having a second child. First one was born when I was 36 and we got pregnant on the first try.. I'm wondering whether it will be as easy this time?
Would like to have an autumn baby ideally. Don't like the idea of spending the summer holidays caring for a newborn as well as entertaining my daughter for 7 weeks... Is that mad? Or not?
It means we should start trying in December which seems far away.. And also what if it takes months..would blow my autumn idea and also not hugely keen on a midwinter baby. My first was born in January and it was tough keeping her so wrapped up and going for long walks to settle her in the snow!
Hmm am I over thinking it?

OP posts:

IrnBruTheNoo · 11/06/2013 13:49

If I was in your situation, I'd be trying straight away. Unfortunately, not many of us can control when the conception will take place. You just have to hope for the best!!

ThoraNomiki · 11/06/2013 13:50

I did this. I thought far too much about the potential due dates hoping it might happen straight away again. It didn't. Still not up-duffed 5 months later. I think if you know you're ready for another just go for it
I will have to take a break soon to avoid my friends Wedding date as a potential due date

2lilgirls · 11/06/2013 14:08

I got pregnant with my first the first month trying but no.2 took almost a full year. I remember when I first started TTC no.2 I was convinced it would be the same again, I even thought the tests were faulty!! I was so naïve about it all.

Just started ttc no.3 now and in an ideal world I would love a summer baby which would mean conceiving in Spetember, October or November. Reason being I wouldn't be as tied by my eldest with school runs, activities, homework etc and would be free to feed a newborn all h/she wants and not to get it into a ''routine'' as such for the first few weeks. Also my first was a Winter baby and I was worried sick about going into labour and travelling on ice as well as keeping her warm at night and out and about.
I wouldn't dream of planning a due date now after my experience with conceiving no.2. I am just going to go with the flow.

I hope you are as lucky second time around and manage to hit the jack pot again first month trying

moggle · 11/06/2013 14:12

We started TTC a month later than planned just to avoid even the tiny possibility of being due around the time of the Olympics (we had tickets for quite a lot of events) and a large family holiday that'd been planned for 3 years. But I'd never put it off that long or aim for a particular birth month. Personally after 18m of trying myself, I think you're nuts wanting to wait half a year, but obviously I'm biased. And saying things like "not hugely keen on a midwinter baby" causes my hackles to rise a bit, sorry. Having said that, it's certainly possible, my friend wanted to have her second baby around the time her first DD started school, so she could be at home on mat leave for that period to settle her in. She managed to get it in one and the baby was born in the second week of September. Good luck whatever you decide.

pizzaqueen · 11/06/2013 14:20

You can't really plan for it though can you, if you get pregnant and are due in the Autumn, then great, but it might take a while longer than that.

We wanted a summer baby, we though it might take a while to get pg, it didn't. We got pg within 2 cycles and i'm due mid-january. Poor timing for us, as my DP won't have any extra holidays left to take (start of new holiday year) and my DS will just be starting pre-school and i don't want him to feel like he's being pushed out for a new baby.

But i feel blessed just to pregnant, so it's not the ideal due-date but who cares it'll be fine in the long term. With your age especially i wouldn't put it off.

driftwoodsands · 11/06/2013 14:35

I agree with the others. If I was you, I'd start straight away. At 40 fertility is on the decline, so go for it & all the minor considerations will smooth themselves out in time. Good luck.

Nicolaeus · 11/06/2013 14:37

I have a similar dilemma.

We've waited a bit longer than I would've originally planned due to a) DS being a terrible sleeper b) promotion at work reasons c) I get severe migraines - and didn't want work stress + non-sleeping toddler + newborn!!!

We are now waiting one extra month so I won't be pregnant during our summer holiday as I was so unbelievably sick last time with DS.

But I am getting a bit jumpy and want to try straight away. Did that with DS and got pregnant first month of trying so he arrived quite a bit earlier than planned!

EuroShaggleton · 11/06/2013 16:41

I wouldn't wait in your shoes.

When we started ttc, we delayed by a month because I really didn't want a summer born for school reasons. Two and a half years on I give much less of a sh1t about this and will just take a baby, any baby, born whenever!

Bakingtins · 11/06/2013 16:51

At 40 you'll be bloody lucky if you can get pregnant at all, don't waste a single one of your remaining eggs.
I'm 38 and have been trying for a 3rd child for 2 years with only a series of miscarriages to show for it. You do not have the luxury of years of fertility ahead of you to choose which month might suit you best to have a baby.

IrnBruTheNoo · 11/06/2013 18:50

These kinds of topics make me laugh (sorry). I've got an April baby and a July baby and it never even occurred to me to avoid/plan those birthday months. It just happened. I also MC'd in between both of those successful pregnancies. You take what you get, when you get it, and be grateful for it.

FrazzleRock · 11/06/2013 18:54

Hahaha, good luck with that....I tried this, took 11 months in the end.

Don't waste your energy fretting about the best time of year, you have no control over time of conception unfortunately!

Sorry, very unhelpful.
(But it's true)

HadALittleFaithBaby · 11/06/2013 19:49

Honestly, I agree. I have an April baby and its wonderful - worst of my MS wasn't during the hot summer, not heavily pregnant in summer and baby is born in the spring so I can take her out most days and we haven't been exposed to lots of winter germs.

However we TTC'd for over 2 1/2 years and we'd have taken any time of year too! You really can't plan these things!

Flibbertyjibbet · 11/06/2013 20:04

I don't agree with the person who says you'll be bloody lucky to get pg at 40. I had my children at 42 and 43 and you can tell by the 16m age gap that we didn't ave to try too long for ds2!

However, my friend had a baby at 37, pg first time of trying. They assumed it would happen quickly for no2, so they planned it all out to start trying when dc was 18m old and the. They'd have a gap of just over two years. Sadly their dc is 8.5 now and They never managed to conceive that 2nd baby.

You just can't tell. At 40 I'd put any 'plans' out the window and start trying now. Babies don't come when YOU want them to!

CreatureRetorts · 11/06/2013 21:36

7 weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things really though. What happens if you delay and it takes too much time? I'd go for it quite honestly. The first 2-3 weeks of newborn are ok and you could use holiday clubs for your daughter? Also would you want to be heavily pregnant in summer?

IrnBruTheNoo · 11/06/2013 22:05

Flibbertyjibbet I think the previous comment was meant in general terms that it's not as likely an easy task to fall pregnant as what it would be in your 20's. No one's saying it's impossible, only that it gets more difficult the older you get (in most cases). Meaning that people shouldn't dilly dally and just get on with DTD! :)

Purpleprickles · 11/06/2013 22:13

Another one here who postponed trying for dc#2 but because I didn't feel ready. Ds took 3 months to conceive, 1.5yrs down the line and no sign of dc2 I wish I'd tried earlier and just dealt with not being ready when the baby came. I'm 36 now, maybe I missed my chance. Finally had the courage to ask for my initial blood tests last week and went today. My advice is don't' wait, don't take anything for granted.

Original poster

floppops · 12/06/2013 09:46

Yep thought I was being a bit crazy. OH and I have decided to go ahead and start trying now. Obviously being a bit naive to think it'll be easy.. Just was such a shock last time when we got pregnant on the first try. If we do get pregnant quickly it'll be a lovely surprise and if we can't then that's just the way it will be. I'd love my daughter to have a sibling for many reasons but tbh I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful little girl and another child will be a bonus IYSWIM.

OP posts:

mrsden · 12/06/2013 10:12

Good Luck! You may well be very lucky again and conceive straight away. Once you're pregnant you won't care about when the due date is. If it does take a bit of time at least you won't have regrets about putting it off. I agree with others that say that at 40, it really is best to get on with it. Your fertility is likely to be lower than it was when you were 36 but it's impossible to know until you start trying. Do come back and update us when you get your BFP

Original poster

floppops · 12/06/2013 12:20

Thanks mrsden.

OP posts:

JuicySteak · 13/06/2013 10:47

Flibbertyjibbet, you were very, very, very, very lucky. I got pregnant instantly at 40 only to miscarry at eleven weeks. I am almost 42 and am currently sat in a hotel room in Czech Republic having paid for donor egg IVF.

Flop, it is absurd at your age to assume you can 'plan' any of this. Don't waste a single egg. You have a 5% chance of conceiving every month which drops to 1% at 42

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