Friend has asked me for help to conceive.

[bowlingforsoup]

Hi

Im a bit confused.

A woman I met years ago at a gig has asked me to donate eggs to her so she can have a baby.

I don't know her very well and I'm wondering if this would be such a bad thing if i go ahead and donate.

I have a 4 year old and im due my second in a couple of weeks.

I'm not even sure what it would involve or if i could cope with the emotional side of it.

Any advice welcome.

I think you need to think very, very carefully about this. I don't know all that much about it, but I do know you 'd have to have hormone injections to make you hyperovulate, and it can be painful and debilitating. Could you cope with that and your very young dc?

I'm assuming your df will be carrying the baby, but how would you feel in future if you bump into her and her dc?

This is what I'm thinking about.

I don't know how I would cope knowing that there is a child out there who biologically is mine. Yes she would be carrying the baby and we live 100 miles apart so i dont think bumping into each other would happen often but it could happen.

I know very little about egg donation but i do know it's painful and difficult

It doesn't sound as if you're terribly keen on the idea. It's one thing to think about in the abstract, but actually a very Big Ask when the question is issued.

I believe there are programmes where women who are going through IVF on their own behalf, donate excess fertilised eggs. Perhaps your could steer your friend in that direction, when letting her down gently.

Before i had my son i contemplated the idea of donating eggs, but now i have a child ive totally gone off the idea. The thought of my son having a half genetic brother / sister somewhere and him not knowing about it is very scary.

However, i would carry for my best friend or sister if they ever needed me too, but no one else.

Big decision hun with lots of possible consequences.

Good luck xx

You'd basically have to do half an IVF cycle, taking the drugs to make you produce lots of eggs, and then have those eggs collected (they do it via a needle inserted through the vaginal wall, under sedation or GA). It's certainly not something to be undertaken lightly. I think you would also be obliged to have counselling to help you to think through the psychological issues.