The Elderberry Pavlovas: sit on the sofa of hopefulness and make yourself a special omelette while prescribing the vomming cat to those that deserve it and observing the lunching of the tactless.

[barkingtreefrog]

It's time for some more grads!!

The smallprint - Berries have a strict entrance criteria (TTC #1, over 30, TTC for 3+months NO instadiffers, must have a special pot)

boom think the occasional wobble is more than understandable! I thought you had an fc appt coming up in june? Or am I mixing you up with someone else?

Other people have suggested that fc's prescribe it when they want to bide some time. Inclined to agree tbh!

hi all. feeling a bit better having walked the dog slowly in the sun and met a gorgeous boxer dog that took to mine straight away. still got a headache and cold but it's copable today. fc you manage to cope today at the christening honey. I'm so glad dh is being supportive for you today xxxxxxc

I totally wish we'd lied about how long we've been ttc but we obediently waited a year and now 2 years down the line and no further forward!

tally isn't your appointment soon?

Oh knowledgeable merk, can I ask a bbt question? Do you just take one temp or do a mean average of 3? I can get 3 different consecutive readings!

kitty and boom I am only worried about getting referred as I am changing doctors so don't know what my new one will be like. Hopefully they will see from my old docs notes that we have been TTC 16 months (little white lie, i have been off pill that long) had basic blood tests, DH having jizz test next week and just refer us. Hope it doesn't take forever to get an appointment!

boom hope today isn't too bad, I have the MIL, BIL, SIL and nephew and niece round today for big family roast, fun fun fun!

Feel better soon tally and feel free to keep it to yourself

Have a good day y'all

Kitty, I don't claim to be as wise as Merk, but with temping, it should be your very first temperature reading and taken immediately on waking. Try to move as little as possible because your bbt will start to shift as soon as your body starts to wake up! That's also why you need to set an alarm for it rather than just taking it when you wake naturally-you don't want your body to already have been waking up as this will affect temp.

This is badly explained. Should've just left it for Merk!

Oh, and I think I may have fallen back asleep and let the thermometer roll out of my mouth this morning...thermometer says my bbt was 33.21...!!!

boodle no that makes sense. I did know that I suppose I just subconsciously ignored it as font want to set an alarm at the weekends my chart was terrible last cycle but I'm putting it down to sitcom on holiday and being in a different time zone as I don't think fertility friend adjusted for it! Didn't even get the crossed hairs! X

As Boodle said, definitely the first temp on waking kitty. I automatically reach for the thermometer whenever I wake up before checking the time as I've been doing it so long now!! But it meant that I took my temp this morning then picked up my phone to enter it in the app only to realise it was 4.04am.... At least I realised what I was doing that time, I've done it before in my sleep and only realised when I couldn't find the thermometer when I woke up, it was in the bed...
Sorry AF showed up .

Boom hope you're doing ok at the christening, sending berry vibes to keep you strong!

How are the reports going happylass? I've spent 4 hours on mine today and done.... 4. One per hour is not a great rate!! Giving up now and taking the dog out!

Urgh. Reports. Haven't started mine yet. Will have 64 year 8, 25 year 9, 26 year 10 and 26 form reports to do. Still, they're not due for a month and the sun is shining

Don't tell Merks but I never set my alarm to temp at the same time. Just do it when I wake but still get a very clear pattern. Would prob make more of an effort if I couldn't see anything happening though.

Reports are slow going. Have 350 ks3 reports to do plus 30 for my form class . Plus I'm doing A level Spanish and my exam is on Tuesday. Think I'm gonna need lots of over the coming weeks!

I kind of cheat too happy, I leave the alarm on normal getting up time monday-friday, if I wake earlier I take my temp earlier. I sometimes have the alarm on for weekends as well, but I have it an hour later than weekdays, and sometimes just turn it off... I do find myself automatically waking up at the same time at weekends without the alarm, taking my temperature and falling back asleep. I never used to be able to get back to sleep once I'd woken up. I can see a clear temp rise each month though, and even if it's all up and down it's pretty much always still below/above coverline, and the up and down doesn't bear any relation to the times I've temped anyway.

Well, christening over. Just about survived! Nearly cried a couple of times, especially when she started talking about when she was planning on having her next one, but held it together until I was out of the room.

Still feeling a bit fragile and teary. DH taking me out to dinner though so maybe I should cry on him more often!

kitty my appt is with the gynae clinic, I don't qualify for FC yet. The lines seem to be a bit blurred but from what I understand, they're just trying to diagnose the cause of my long cycles and I won't get actual fertility treatment until I'm referred to fc.

Sobbing and sulking in the bathtub of gloom, DH wouldn't DTD so we argued. Why is all this so dam hard, why does it turn us into crazy girls?!? I just hate it all!

bunny I feel your pain, got first ever +ve on OPK Saturday morning but DH was so bloody hung over he was not interested in DTD at all; I spent the morning in a total sulk; he didn't get it at all and thought I was annoyed because he came in so late. Sigh... hope you feel happier soon.

B00M glad you made it through the christening - enjoy your dinner out!

Have been doing OPK experiments this weekend, got +ve both this morning and yesterday morning and +ve this afternoon, which is a first... I guess using them in the evening was a bad idea.

As for BBT, I have only ever done one reading, I'm always in a hurry in the morning! I've not got on with temping much, got to the point of thinking the thermometer was broken and bought another one, but find they bleep at me before I think the temp is constant. Now considering moving away from digital to the old fashioned type where you can at least see what is going on!

Beyond sad, after a lovely day. Just received a pg announcement text from my friend who was my bridesmaid. Don't know her circumstances as very few friends have ever discussed ttc with me, but do know that this means literally all of my close friends are either pg or have babies. I can't even cry about it. DH tried to talk me round when I read him the text, in that we're being proactive and getting treatment, but, as I told him, it doesn't make it hurt any less. It's also hitting me that it is ME with the problem, not him. Have been very worried about the risk of mc mentioned by the fc on Friday. Hadn't seen anything about the link between mc and pcos before. Am now terrified that even if I do manage to get a bfp, it will not end in a baby. My mum had 5 mc before she had me, I think she must have had pcos. I'm not sure I can go through all of this.

I'm also annoyed as this newly pg friend and her DH have bad diets, no money, no job security....and we've been so careful about getting our ducks in a row to put us in a secure position to start a family, and here we are!
The other thing that has really pushed my buttons this weekend is SIL's lax attitude to parenting and taking responsibility for her own child. Her parents, my pil, do a lot of childcare for her and she really takes the piss. Never visits them other than for childcare etc. she's diffed again, but they've outgrown their flat and will need to move while she's still at work so they can get a mortgage approved. She may not qualify for mat pay as she's not of enough!! We're all away for a family wedding on the continent next weekend and they are all flying, (we're driving), but they will need lifts from the airport and around town etc. they are staying with family out of town, away from the wedding venue and have no car seat or plan to get one for their 2 yo! Just expecting someone else to sort it. Meanwhile we have to pay for hotel as no space with relatives left! Her parenting is shocking - wonders why her ds doesn't eat, when she doesn't make him sit and eat...he gets up and wanders about, never finishing food. He's offered too much choice and knows that she wil bf him at night, so doesnt bother. Dc no2 due in January...should be interesting.

Sorry berries, for the long one. Have been keeping it in most of the weekend. Only you would understand. And while I'm very grateful to have you, I'm also feeling very isolated in rl.

Oh no Kuma, sending you big soapy hugs (with my eyes closed). I hate it when dtd causes stress. it's not meant to be difficult!!
The time is going far too slowly until my appointment - it's on the 11th, so getting there... Grr.

bunny and kuma that sounds familiar. Sorry you're going through that. It's so hard when the menfolk refuse to do their bit, after you've temped, opked and everything else. No solution really, other than talking about it to them, if you can.

crossed posts cats that hug can be for you too.

by the way, if you are feeling delicate, don't watch Ice Age.

Evening all. Charming, Kuma and bunny sorry to hear of your woes. Haven't been able to catch up on all the chat (so much chat! only bin gone a few days) but hope everyone's ok. Amen to whoever mentioned chocolate brownies and cream. Mm mmm....

Charming - good rant - I know what you mean about feeling isolated - it's horrible- but this thread helps me feel less so- hope you can feel a bit better knowing you're not alone in this. Also totally know what you mean about getting your ducks in a row& others getting updiffed without any ducks (so to speak). It's hard to watch. I'm lucky to have a few friends without kids who don't remind of how childless we are.

On a separate note I went to see Wicked at the w/e - I forgot how much fun a good musical could be! Definitely good for lifting the spirits - and totally took my mind of ttc woes

Oh dear, it would appear that this is the weekend of discontent!

bunny I feel your pain too. Menfollk are notoriously unhelpful - this is one of the reasons I don't OPK or temp - it wouldn't make any difference to his inclination to dtd even if I installed a flashing neon sign saying 'NOW FERTILE AND OPEN FOR BUSINESS' on my forehead! Sorry you've fought though. Sending hugs and sympathy cyberchocolate.

charming I understand where you're coming from on so many levels and am sending you a massive hug. Everything you've just said could have been me speaking.

If it helps re: the PCOS/mc link, I think a lot of the research was poor quality because it didn't exclude a lot of confounding factors (eg weight, age, endometriosis, previous miscarriages), so basically looked at women who were high risk for a number of reasons, only one of which was PCOS. Plus miscarriage is a greater risk with people not having fertility treatment ie they strike it lucky and get pg naturally but then don't have the hormones to support it. Possibly what happened to me the first time round. I totally understand the worry but you still have a far greater chance of a successful pregnancy than a mc if you do get diffed!

Anyway. We're all here for venting whenever you need to. Sometimes RL is a very unsympathetic place to be, I think unless you've been in this situation you could never, ever understand how horrendous ttc can be xxx

Oh cats hugs, that's crappy! I know how you feel about RL, I feel i need to tell somebody else, I nearly told my best friend last week but didn't wanna do it over Facebook chat!

aquarius isn't Wicked wicked! I loved it! I saw it 2 years ago when we were in London, DH proposed that weekend too

Thanks all for the sympathies, boom with regards to RL even if I do tell my best friend I do worry it won't help, she has two children and also had 2 mcs so I'm guessing they never had trouble ttc so would she really understand what I am going through?!?

Oh dear berries, we're all down in the dumps aren't we?! I fear it was me who started it so I should prob do my best to get us all out of our misery!

My fc had said that she knows I will get pregnant, she's just not sure how long it will take. I honestly think it will be the same for all of us.

I think we really do put up with an awful lot (sils, stupid work colleagues, fb scan photos, bump photos, etc etc) but apart from the odd meltdown, I think we're pretty god damn amazing!

So berries, hang in there (me included). It might take us longer than the average instadiffer but we WILL get there and we'll be the most amazing SHIT HOT mums going as we've wanted it so much! (will have to learn not to swear though haha).

Oh dear, I don't know what to say. Hugs for everyone!! And if anyone feels like joining me on the yellow brick road of enforced positivity you're very welcome! . I'm still hanging on to the yellow bricks by my fingernails despite little thoughts such as this cycle is your last chance before you get help..what if something goes wrong with DPs op and his willy doesn't work anymore...if it doesn't happen this cycle you've got another two months to wait... getting in the way a bit. But it'll all be fine. I'm absolutely, totally, positively sure. And if for some reason it doesn't happen this cycle there'll be a damn good reason why. I'll have to get back to you on what that might be, haven't thought of one yet

Feel good positive vibes to everyone (and chocolate brownie, although you'll have to wait until I've made another batch, I seem to have eaten them all ).

Thanks, berries. Had a cry and a rant to DH, who understands. He's keen to keep it private, but understands that I might need to talk to people, especially when they offer me their maternity clothes 'whenever I need them'. I shit you not. I told that friend I was due to visit last week all about it and she was so supportive and respectful. I do think that unless you tell people that you're having a hard time, they won't know. And, if they don't know, they can't possibly be sensitive. Also, bottling things up is not good for mental health. So there.
Back to school tomorrow. Definitely got the Sunday night blues. And the metformin is making me feel sick. as is the pg announcement
But, I do think you're right. Our times will come, it's just a matter of getting through this bit. It's very hard when you don't know how long'this bit' will be.
Tomorrow is another day. Yellow brick vibes to you all.