I get knocked down, but I'll get knocked up again, cos you're never gonna keep me down... The big fat posifrickintivity thread for people TTC after MC.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

I thought I'd start the new thread and earn some brownie points with the posifrickintivity Gods...

Sorry for your negative chips

I'm glad I used up my last HPT for the post-miscarriage negative result so there are none in the house to tempt me once the TTC gets under way.

Step away from the tests!

would you mind if i join in? my mmc was in feb, at eight weeks. My first pregnancy. We are ttc now again, but body still seems to be on wtf, no idea what is going on which I'm really struggling with (not that I'm a total control freak). That, and being sad a lot.

Ill be 23 in august I was 21 when I had my daughter all pregnancys have been with the same partner and I went in for my hcg tests first was 25 then 49 then after the weekend it went down to 33 so the doctor told me i am having a chem preg and I should start bleeding in the next few days and it bugs me because I asked what my progesterone levels were and he said he hasn't and prolly won't test me for those which is stupid to me anyways but whatever I'm not a doctor haha and if I have another mc then he's sending me to a specialist but said I can't try again right away which makes me happy just sucks that like everyone seems to be big fat and miserably pregnant here and I wanna be miserably pregnant too hahaha

Said I can try again haha

Hi. Think i'd like to join your thread please. Had a moment yesterday (listening with DS to Kermit!) where I realised I was sad but just "normal" sad and the panic since MC 2 wks ago was gone. I also got a negative HPT result last night and it felt strangely good and time to move on....

So thinking its time to try again. I didnt find it easy to share or, to be honest, offer support on the MC board but it helped not being alone so would like to have a go at joining in here.

And i had a question straight off - If you start TTC before first AF after MC, how do you know when to test, and if you are lucky enough to get pregnant, how is it dated? Should i be using ovulation tests to get a better idea? I would ideally like to be a bit more relaxed this month than that and get relationship back on track.

Rainbow after my first MC, I used bbt and ewcm to chart. I saw a defnite temperature spike and that matches with the ewcm I observed. Also if you have been using OPKs before, now that you are clean on the HPT, you can use that as well. Do you know how long is your usual luteal phase? If not, then 14 days after ovulation is probably a safe bet.

As for dating it. I fell pregnant again on cycle 0 after my first MC. My midwife dated my second MC from the day of my first MC. When I ended up in hospital for my second MC, the doctors recorded my last AF as the one before my first MC. They said it's not strictly correct for the midwife to date my second pregnancy's last known period with the date of my previous MC, but they have to use something! The date would be corrected at the dating scan anyway. As I see it, we'll just be seen by the midwife and have the 12 week scan earlier than expected. (Looks like you might be delayed by 2 weeks). It's way better than seeing them too late isn't it?

Oh lordy I've got more EWCM, I think perhaps I was mistaken at the weekend and I'm ovulating later than I thought!

We're going to have to DTD tonight and then we won't be seeing each other again until Sunday so I hope that's enough

Am definitely using OPKs, body temping, EVERYTHING next cycle if this doesn't work as I'm bloomin exhausted!

Welcome to the new people, am sad to see how many people are having to join this thread, I hope everyone will be gone with BFPs soon.

good luck Guff.

Rainbow, my doctor said dont worry about dating, like Toddle says, they will date from the scan. He said it is so accurate now dont let that hold you back!

I know what you mean about 'normal' sad. I get waves of it, but then I'll be fine for a week. I'm trying to use the OPK sticks, but I'm a bit lax to be honest, which is a bit of a problem!

Thanks OneLittleToddleTerror and amicablemoomin- Couldn't get my head round it, but you're right, overall it won't matter. I suppose it just sounds like a lot of uncertainty initially but I guess that's the way it goes.

Used OPKs last time, got pregnant first month but never saw lh surge (might have tested too late in cycle) so might try charting at a later point, did a vague bit of reading about it before pregnancy. Will go find out a bit more.

Just treated myself to hair cut as part the new non-depressed me and had a whole "Have you just got the one little 'un, do you think you'll have another child" line of questioning. Grr....

Oh a hair cut is good! I treated myself to a colour and a gym membership

Just checking in as you've disappeared off my "threads I'm on".
I'm sorry to see so many newbies but you are all very welcome. Hope we'll be seeing BFPs for you all on a Friday very soon.

Rainbow I've taken a tip from someone on here and decided to be blunt when asked that question by random strangers when it is none of their business "yes, we'd love to have another but I've had 3 miscarriages". Shuts them up sharpish. It's such an insensitive question to ask a woman when there are so many potential reasons they might be struggling with fertility/miscarriage/circumstances that mean they can't just snap their fingers and have a baby when they want one.

guff grit your teeth and go for it! I hope it results in a BFP on the 31st - you deserve it!

Welcome to all newbies though sorry to see you here.

rainbow I'm in roughly the same phase as you - TTC before first AF. Erpc was five and a half weeks ago and still no sign of AF! No idea what my body's doing so I'm going to poas every few days couple of weeks until it arrives, though dtd a bit sporadically at the moment so it's unlikely we'll get a bfp this cycle. Once I have first AF I might start using an opk, and embark on the scary sounding SMEP!

I agree with what someone said above about accuracy of dating scans meaning you definitely shouldn't worry too much on that front (sorry, on phone so can't scroll up to see who it was). I've also found it gives me a bit of reassurance to keep a list of dates eg when I got first bfn after erpc, and subsequent bfns - so if I then get a bfp I'll have some rough sense of possible dates...hope that makes sense!

Two questions for you ladies - how long should i leave it before i go to doctor to enquire about non-arrival of AF? 8 weeks post erpc?

And second question, I'm not sure I've ever noticed ewcm - does everyone get this and I just haven't been eagleeyed enough? or should it be very obvious - and some people just don't get it?? Sorry if this is a weird question!

Ps for me, the main worry about ttc before first AF was that if I didn't know dates, then if I went for early scan and it looked like the baby was smaller than it should be and we couldn't see a heartbeat, we'd have to wait a horrible week before going back to check it was healthy and growing etc (I had mmc first time round, so I know I'll be super paranoid about it happening again). But then DH pointed out that as my cycle is so irregular anyway (between 35 and 45 days) I wouldn't really have a clue what my dates are even after first AF, unless I'm temping or using opks. So we just decided to go for it!

The tracking bfn bfp dates does make sense BirdsDoIt. I know it makes no odds to the outcome or long term progress but it'd give a bit of an idea of where you are, which is what I was hoping for.

Re the EWCM, I too had never noticed, but the month I got pregnant I had read about it & paid attention and was able to identify it.

Good tip Bakingtins. Must be really hard dealing with insensitivity after a number of MCs or trying a long time.

Off to google SMEP?! or, as I have just had my first wine in 2 months, might close the laptop and head to bed. All academic for me as DH at pub and family arrive for long weekend tomorrow.

Hello all - {{waves}} to newbies - hoping we all get bfp soon -

Thinking ill be OV in the next couple days - I'm using opk - I usually OV day 14/15 but as this is first cycle I'm not sure if ill have a wtf cycle. DH is away but back tomorrow so have very unromatically booked him in to dtd!!! Eek! Lets hope I remember these times as forgot last! (For those who commented up thread)

So I'm on the look out for ewcm too - know that I won't be lucky enough to get a bfp in first go but still hoping I will! Like we all are I guess.

Think it was birds who asked sorry if someone else but I contacted doc after 9 weeks of no AF - went in for a scan and all was fine - said stress probably delayed OV - if you want reassurance call the epau for a scan - it helped me definitely

Hello tins xx

So sorry to see that so many newbies find themselves on this thread. Waves to everyone.

Birdsdoit I went to gp at 9.5 weeks with no af after erpc and they told me to wait another month but luckily it came the next day but someone on here was offered a scan at about 9 weeks. But if youre only 5 wks post erpc hopefully you won't have to wait that long. I know it's hard to do but try not that think about it too much as I think the stress makes it worse.

Topslou so what did you decide about poas?

Do we have many Friday poasers this week?

birds I get really obvious stringy EWCM, is hard to miss, so I don't think you aren't looking properly. Is probably just one of those things some people get lots of and some people don't...

I think someone on here had a scan to check out the non-arrival of AF but I'm not sure how long they waited. Sorry I can't remember who it was, am sure someone more helpful will be along soon!

It was me I think! Waited 9 weeks after erpc then went for scan and they could see I had just OV so ad came along in the following 10 days - it's normal to wait up to 7 weeks - book in for scan if it hasn't arrived ny then xxx

Thank you very much everyone for answering my questions! Really helpful - and reassuring. You're all brilliant!

rainbow SMEP is the sperm meets egg plan - if you google it you'll find it. I'd never heard of it but I realised we were doing a version of it the month I finally got pregnant (after 8 months of trying) - basically having sex every other day, from one week after your AF finishes (I think...) So going to try it again with opk.

Also just downloaded fertility friend app and their charting guide which seems really informative - thanks to whoever suggested that upthread. Now I just need first AF to arrive...trying not to think about it too much though liesl as you say (great name btw).

So I did poas on Tuesday morning liesl & it was bfn. AF due today, normally arrives bright & early to spoil my morning so keeping everything crossed that she doesn't & I'll poas again on Friday. Only ended up having 2 drinks tonight anyway as got sore throat & mouth ulcers so not really in the mood. Anyone else joining me in poas on Friday?

Hope you are lucky on Friday Lou

I am about 22 days post MC and have been having niggling ovulation pain and a bit of EWCM over the last few days. I POAOPK twice and got negatives, so not quite sure if it is anything to write home about.

Unfortunately DH is still reluctant. We have been active the last couple of nights but no penetration. I am hoping that he is just getting used to the idea and we can try properly after this WTF cycle.

Good luck everyone POAS tomorrow.

Birds CM isn't always immediately apparent, EW or otherwise. I was reading up on it a while back, and you need to have a good turtle around inside, then see what you can bring out! eew you should be able to differentiate between watery, thick, creamy, stretchy... EWCM should look exactly like egg white and stretch several centimetres between your fingers!

Shit! I mean a good FURTLE around! At no point do I condone inserting any shelled reptiles into your fanjo!