The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

[HesterShaw]

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

rasp that sounds awful. How are you feeling now?

I want to start a personal campaign against crap admin in fertilty services. CACAFS. It sounds kind of official. It makes me so, so angry. It puts huge amounts of stress on people who are already in a miserable, stressful situation. Grrrr.

Draf a stone is definitely doable, particularly with all the activity that you do.

I am on a bit of a mission myself. I am feeling horribly unfit and untoned post-mc. I am starting cutting down on the food today, and will start back at the gym properly. I'm off to France soon and I'm going to look a right heifer next to my impossibly slim SMIL. :(

I did another run this evening. I'm thinking of going back to weight watchers. I think I need to be accountable to someone, and really I need to shift about a stone and a half.

rasp it is mindboggling how shit those admin people are. You just do not need that!

He all

rasp good on you for requesting a formal investigation. If I were you, I would start on with potential data protection breaches, as you want to ensure that your personal data wasn't left where it shouldn't have been (or missing). Public bodies shit themselves about such things so I would recommend playing dirty and insist that you get an assurance from someone senior that it was secure at all times. If not, you will consider notifying the Information Commissioner (who is the kind of regulatory gatekeeper for data protection and freedom of information issues). Sorry to get all technical but they have fucked you around so much, I cannot believe it. I am with euro in that this sort of thing is just stressful enough without all this bollocks going on too. AND the admin staff need to realise that going off on the sick, or sitting there eating fucking custard donuts with their fingers up their arses is no excuse for being inefficient or shit at their jobs. If they are, they will be taken to task.

Here endeth the sermon.

hest all I can send you is a massive hug and some industrial strength nurofen for the crying headaches. I feel your pain. I hope you're being spoilt by 'Im indoors. Xx

Hello to all the other lovely ladies. You have inspired me to start running, Ffs. If I have a heart attack, it's your fault.

Xx

Good sports bra norks and plenty of breaks, you'll be fine. MN swears by the C25k programme, have you looked at that?

rasp norks has good advice.

draf well done on the bike ride. What sort of bike are you riding? Well done as well on the weight loss, that's fantastic. What way have you done it?

Well done on the weight loss and the PB Evil, that's very good. I've no idea about what I might be able to get through work, I might ask but am a bit scared that I'd get judged! I've just got myself in a real tizz. Very frustrating because I know I'm doing it, I just can't stop myself.

How are you feeling now Hest?

Oh, my phone failed to show me all this evenings mwssages! Thanks everyone :) feeling calmer this evening, still frustrated but calmer.

I'm willing to get fully behind euro and her campaign. Nokkie I will take your advice! I will most likely have to put something in writing. MATV writes a mean shirty letter so I may entrust it to him.

Very jealous of Euro and Twinks impending hols even though I've only just come home myself.

Norks you can download C25K here. Apparently they do another one called Stretch & Flex....

Hester. I have just popped in with this large bottle of gin (obviously) to say I LUFFS YA and also YOU ARE ACE.

I'm so sorry you are having to fight the fight. I will volunteer to let you smash a barstool over my head if it helps?

Love and strength my darlin' xxxx

twinklesprinkles I have massive knockers. Oh, hang on a minute, that's my avatar, the massive two bit slag hag. It's more the lazy inner hag that I have to fight to do anything less than yoga at the moment.

Wtf is the C25k ? Is it some sort of cult ? Lead me to this devilry please

frank has linked to it for you. It's the NHS couch to 5k programme, a running plan for absolute beginners. It is kind of cult-ish!

rasp don't worry about getting judged. I've jacked in a development programme at work and gone back to the least prestigious of all roles, and I know that everyone who sees me is whispering and trying to work out if I've been kicked off the programme, if I've done something terrible - but I haven't, I've just taken steps to preserve my own mental health because I know how awful hating your job is. Fuck 'em all.

Couch 2 5K. It's a 9 week programme to get you from the couch (doing bugger all) to running 5k. You run 3 times a week listening to the podcasts. I've just finished Week 1 which is basically walk 5 minutes, run 60s, walk 90s (repeat 8 times). As you move on through the weeks you start running for slightly longer periods of time until you reach the last run of weekb9 which is a full 30min run.

'Tis quite good acksherly. I always said I hated running, but this is keeping me interested at the moment

Good advice from Nookie, put the frighteners on them!

Twinks, I have a gorgeous road bike - I love it to bits. It goes astonishingly fast given enough input, fastest speed recorded so far (downhill with a strong tail wind) is 35.3mph, which was great fun last week

I lost the first stone ages ago, mostly by being less of a greedy pig, I think. The second stone has gone since Christmas through the dubious method of eating little/nothing for breakfast and lunch, and small portions for dinner. I'm not cutting anything out because it would make me sad, but I try not to eat too much cake too often! The cycling is helping a lot, too, though over the winter I didn't get much done as it was so icy. I don't think I ever drank in any great excess, but I am consciously limiting myself to one (double) G&T every Friday, which is good for the IVF forms as well as my weight. Mind you, since resigning last August, the stress-induced desire to drink has really dropped off.

I did couch to 5k at the end of 2011/beginning of 2012. I was quite surprised I was able to run 5k at all, but HOTB and I were going out and running that distance every weeknight for several months.

I got scared of running after coming home last Easter and going into anaphylactic shock for no apparent reason, though, and have not really dared to run since. Still, the allergy people said they could find no cause, and it was over a year ago, so perhaps I should try again Mind you, I always hated it, except the smug feeling when I stopped. Running is like punishment, where cycling is fun even when it hurts.

Rasp it sounds like Nookie has some good advice? Kick som ass. I know that takes energy though, so do it once you have summoned your strength. They completely fucked everything up. I am obviously sorry for anyone who goes off ill, but they should have provision in place to deal with stuff like that.

Running scares me.

I kind of feel like that about running too. I much prefer 'disguised' exercise, like iceskating, horseriding, that sort of thing. Cycling isn't too bad, at least I can make progress at a reasonable speed. Running has got a few things going for it - it's easy to just go and do, it burns a lot of calories, plus now I'm back in a job where there's a decent chance I might have to run, not that I'll catch anyone but I don't want to make a complete and utter tit out of myself...

Yes exactly. When I run, after a while I feel like my bowels are going to fall out of my arse, and I wheeze. It's silly because in terms of long term fitness, I have always been fit and strong. I think I did so much in my youth that I have good stores!

"Disguised exercise" - good term. PLaying football with nephews and nieces, cycling, sailing....that kind of thing.

Hugh Jackman is slaying vampires on ITV2. Can we have a Hugh Jackman fred?

Sailing is good for weight loss. For me. Because every time I go near a boat - except a river rowing boat, oddly - I empty my stomach

rasp I wouldn't want to rain on MATV's parade at all but if you wanted me to help you with the data protection bit, I would be more than happy to help if you need it. X

frank cheers for that. I shall investigate it. Sounds like just the sort of thing I need to keep me interested in running because, it's fundamentally fucking dull. Good for shifting the blubber though, I admit.

raff sounds like you have really done well my love !

Changing the subject a bit - ok, completely - I had a hearing the other day, the trial is definitely starting on the Monday and judge has decreed we have 2 days so I WILL be seeing Star Trek in the Imax on its release day

I think you have hit the nail on the head.

Running is boring.

rasp you've just reminded me that you were down in that part of the world recently. We're flying crap ryanair, so need to pack light. What was the weather like? Shorts in the day, cardigans in the evening? I have been in May before but not for a couple of years.

Draf that must have given you quite a scare! I am not a natural runner and have to be careful of an old knee injury, but I quite enjoy it once I get going. The first run after a break is always the worst though. I'm dreading that one.

Hurrah for a helpful trial date twinks!

I boycott RyanAir. They are properly on my shitlist. We're flying SleazyJet to Nice when we go, and I too would like clothing tips. Although I don't do shorts, for the greater good.

Fanks euro! Hurrah indeed!!