The Genuine BESH Palais. To misquote Carlsberg, we're probably the barrenest TTC-ers in the world...

[HesterShaw]

We are Barren. We are Evil, on account of having left procreating until our 30s. We are Selfish, thinking only of careers and money and cars and holidays. And lastly, we are Hags. Welcome to the BESH gin palace. Babydusters and instadiffers need not apply.

I'm loving nok's book ideas.

The blog is great (minus the god bothery bit). I've been pondering posting it too, rasp but I think it might be a bit too public for KFZK. Yep, good on faif for putting it up there.

I've also been to the gym this evening. It has been a while. Ouch.

I'm 5dpo if I actually oved this cycle. And we have done the sechs for the first time since diffage. Hurrah. That was a long drought.

Well done on gym effort! I'm impressed.

On the clothes front, it was getting hot when we were there so I reckon it will just keep going up over the next few weeks. I took quite summery clothes but a couple of pairs of skinny jeans and flip flops and some linen trousers and that was pretty much what I wore the whole holiday :)

Facefuck is full of snuffly new baybee pics

Hark at you lot all going to the gym!

My cousin doesn't fb much so I don't think I'll be too tortured with this one.

I put way too much garlic in my tzatziki tonight.

Thanks for the clothing tips rasp. Sorry MATV is being so utterly hopeless when you need him to be supportive.

I'm shattered now! The gym AND sex on a school night has completely done me in.

Thanks for the weather tip, rasp. I went at this time of year a couple of years ago and I remember it getting a little chilly in the evenings but couldn't remember what it was like in the days. I can't wait. Cheese, bread, wine and hopefully a little sunshine. Mmmmm.

Just popping in to give bugs my update and put my name down for the No one gives an arse about Freddie series.

CD10, after 4 days of period and 6 days of copious brown juice. Yum. Next droid I get to phone the clinic and book in for a frozen cycle.

hest, my weekend wedding was similarly grim. So many people asked me about baybee plans, and the one couple in the room who actually knew our whole situation pinned us against a pillar with their baybee in their arms and burbled on happily for 20 minutes about their plans for their second. When they left I circled the table, methodically downing every abandoned glass of port on it. The next morning I was sicker than I've ever been, and I still consider it a good swap for the awfulness of having to listen to them.

People are such twats Norf, well done you for not punching anyone. That couple would have made me insanely angry to the point of violence.

Morning BESHlas. Tis easy for me to post that to FB now having admitted it took so long to win a baybee. I was very surprised how many people then told is they'd been in the same boat.

Well done on all the exercise.

I hope my news feed hasn't contributed too much to the excessive tiny baybee photos hest? I am trying to limit it...

Good grief, norf, you did well not to hit anyone. I am gobsmacked about people asking about baybee plans - thankfully HOTB and I haven't really had that. Even for the fertile, it's a really nosy question - why the hell do people think it's okay to pry into someone else's sex life and personal choices? And for childless couples of childbearing age, surely the possibility of infertility or illness or choice must be something that enters the mind of onlookers, so why do they ask such a probing question?

Northy The next time someone does that (and invariably they will) - you won't be arrested for saying "Why are you saying this? Have we not discussed this before and you are aware of our situation? With all due respect, I'm here with my husband - FUCK OFF".

Dearest Faif, I didn't even have you in mind when I posted that. Don't worry xx

Norf what a load of cunts. I can't believe it :(

And draf, that's exactly my take on it. When a woman gets to my age there generally are two possibilities: that she's decided not to have children, or that she's having trouble conceiving. Neither of them are anyone else's business

Bloody hell norf! What insensitive twonks.

faif you have been very restrained on the baby photo front. I'd say you have it just right actually. Updates but not a constant bombardment. I shall try to remember that if I am ever in the same position!

Fanks :) the have done a group for those who want regular updates and I do a daily photo/update in there which helps me restrain myself on the main thing.

Norf I admire your restraint. I tended to go with a very tight lipped That's a very sensitive subject actually. Shut most people up!

norf blimey O Riley, that's insensitive to the point of being crass. I am surprised that you didn't indulge in a bit of mindless violence afterwards. Although we all say that, but when you're in that situation, you are so stunned, then trying not to cry because everything is so shit and then trying not to make a scene, that we let people like that burble on until they go away. And they don't realise that they have made you feel like shit. And then we do feel like total shit and minesweep for glasses of port/wine/gin/fish and drink them until we feel sick. That said, it sounds as though they should have known better. Fucking instadiffers. Next time, you can brandish my sub-series 'No-one gives an arse about you or your plans to pop a baybee in your tumtum, beeatch'. Fuck, I feel like that ginger teacher in Glee who has a leaflet for everything.

Anyway, my update is that I am in for the hysteroscopy next week. Just been for the pre-op assessment at Guys. One and three quarter bastard hours for them to swab my nose, throat, fanjo, make me fill-out several questionnaires and then make me nearly fucking faint and vomit by trying to take blood from every conceivable vein in my fucking arm. To cap it all, I had to go into starfucks to grab a coffee to calm down after my needle trauma and when I was asked for my name, the fucking twat working behind the counter mis-heard me and shouted, rather incredulously, 'IGLOO ??'. Yes that's right. 'My parents are huge fans of the Inuit people' I said, 'and naming me after their traditional home was their tribute to them'. In my head. Fucking fuck fuck.

Anyway, after hysterofanjooscopy, I shall be reviewing the situation (selling everything i own and quite probably going on the game) and preparing to go for IVF again around July-ish time. In the meantime, I shall be having two periods in a week, feeling like a wide-eyed mental and being uber sensitive to pretty much everything. Oh, and that will be interspersed with feelings of despair at putting on half a stone and nothing fitting my fat ass, feelings of acute lethargy followed by weird energy bursts and non-stop raging at the world, thinking 'why me'.

Still, at least the 'No-one gives an arse' series will make me rich.

I downloaded the C25K sheet yesterday. I am going out for a run later. Yikes-a-fucking-Rama.

A plaster-covered Norks. X

Noks, I see a great publishing career ahead of you.
Sorry about the crapness.
I'm going to start the c25k next week I reckon. Just need to find some trainers..

Good trainers and a decent bra are key. Everything else can be improvised from stuff you already have. I saw someone jogging in converse yesterday and cringed for his poor knees.

nok that sounds like a right pain in the t1ts. And Igloo? Really?

Euro Igloo. Really. Ffs. I hate starfucks.

cap'n please start it next week. We can be in pain and whine on and on about how shit snd boring running is together. Erm, I mean get thin together.

Noks, the only issue is that I'll just be getting into it when I have to get sliced up by a gynaecologist, and then I'll have to quit for a while.
I will start next week anyway, for solidarities sake.
Airpunch.

cap'n air punches all round for this exceptional show of solidarity. Scowls for gynae who will be sloshing around mini moll. What are they doing ?

It's a cheeky lap & dye / fibroid removal combo.

I know you were talking about something not funny, Noks, but I'm roaring at the Innuit anecdote. It's the way you tell 'em.

More fanjo news from me, just to join in. I have to have a scan next week to inspect the suspected polyp. If it is one, they will have to remove it. So I may be in for a procedure like the one described.

If the polyp is not a polyp, then I will crack on with round two immediately and I've received the schedule for that, just in case. They are upping my doses of everything. Great, I'll be even spottier and more mental.

But I'm hoping for the second scenario, obviously.

Noks, you are wasted on law. Seriously, that last post was comedic genius. Also, I'm now trying to figure out your name. Is it even remotely similar to igloo?

It is a glorious day here in the Fens. If the rest of you have even half of the stillness and sunshine we do today, go out for a walk or a bike ride or something, it's lovely. I've just ridden 24.5 miles at an average of 15.1mph - another PB and I'm feeling smug. It was brilliant fun :)

Gosh it's fanjo prodding central round here. norks that sounds like an awful day, and that particular Starbucks is especially shite. It's just there to throw muffins and lattes at accountants and doctors in the morning. To be fair, I don't think Igloo would stand out as a particularly stupid name in many parts of Sarf London.

hest I hope you get really spotty and grumpy instead of needing a polypectomy.

moll good solidarity. I'm impressed and motivated. I second the 'don't run in converse' advice. Ouch ouch ouch!

No droid yet and my boobs are so sore that trotting was a bit of an ordeal this morning. HWCA was torturing me so I got my own back by informing him that I need to boil and trim my mooncup, and told him about the lady that posted that she'd dropped hers. He was absolutely horrified

draf it's lovely here too, instead of going into the indoor school we took the horse out round Epping Forest, it was fabulous.