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Original poster

TTC after MC - nice people in crap times, full of posifrickingtivity

982 replies

WillSantaComeAgain · 02/04/2013 13:49

Welcome aboard ladies (though obviously sorry you have to be here). We're a friendly bunch so come in and plump up a cushion for POAS Fridays and lots of posifrickingtivity. With a few (gentle) fish slaps thrown in for good measure.

OP posts:
DIYandEatCake · 05/04/2013 13:15

alyant and sunshine that's a shame, it's early days though, better luck next month when you can get started in earnest. chocolate you and me can wait for af (or not?) together, mine's due tomorrow. I haven't tested but unlikely to be pg due to timing this month. Still kidding myself I feel sick though ( just like last month -bfn- and the month before that -bfn...) want af to hurry up so I can stop being a nutjob and start my 'sane' 2 weeks!

DIYandEatCake · 05/04/2013 13:17

Oh and all the best ostrich - hope this one works out for you.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 05/04/2013 15:38

Congratulations ladies, keep up the good work.
Alyant, could your line be residual hCG from after the ERPC?
Weasel I have the app but it doesnt tally with the results from my opks. Its mre generic than anything so it doesnt match everyones cycles.

Original poster
WillSantaComeAgain · 05/04/2013 16:04

thunder - yes it was me who was really not looking forward to getting pg again. I'm glad you think its healthy - I was thinking it was slightly nuts!

Enjoying the first 2 weeks of the cycle when I can just get on with life - I'm with you on the 2WW mental nutjob feelings.

Go aly and your newly skinny jeans. I'm right with you (currently I'm getting one pair per AF)

OP posts:
Zeuxippe · 05/04/2013 16:22

Sorry af got you aly, best of luck for the next cycle.

ostrich congrats and welcome.

fod27 · 05/04/2013 16:38

Sorry your here weasel my thoughts are with you it's a truly awful time ;(

Congrats to the faint lines guys!!!
spanish I'm so pleased for you and your sticky bean!!! Send some baby dust our way!
Tested this morning and not ov yet....but it is still early so fx

alyant79 · 05/04/2013 16:39

saggy i don't think it's residual, cos i poased about a week after erpc and got a bfn.
I don't really know what to think and i guess it doesn't really matter trying to puzzle it out because I can never know for sure.
I suspect the line was real, but it just wasn't a sticky one.
If that's the case I rather it not stick now, than unstick in a few weeks time!
Of course the other option is that the line was a figment of my imagination. Also possible.

oooh santa new jeans every AF. GREAT idea. Will implement :)

Ostrich78 · 05/04/2013 17:52

You ladies are a talkative lot!
Thanks for the welcome and kind words, did actually have tears in my eyes when I read some them - I am stupidly emotional!!
Will have a catch up on the train home and try not to bawl my eyes out x

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 19:24

Hi everyone,

A bit nervous about stepping in, but you all seem lovely, and I think I need to talk to people who know what this is like. Had a pretty dramatic ectopic just before Christmas (ruptured, tube out) and ttc again for 2 months. Just poas again, bfn - it was a First Response, af not due til Tues, but just felt I was going mental so had to give it a go. Just want to know if I'm going to have ectopic 2, feels like Damacles sword hanging over me. Sounds mad probably. Big glass of wine.

Huge congrats to you Ostrich, and fx for everyone else who's trying.
xx

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/04/2013 19:32

Great news about the lines, faint and not so faint! Grin fingers crossed for sticky ones.

I bought some first response tests today... I'm only on cycle day 18 so maybe I could poas next Friday? if I can stop myself pointlessly doing it before then!!

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 19:37

I tried to wait until tomorrow, apparently they have a 98% accuracy 3 days before af's due, but have no willpower...day 25 should be long enough, depends how long your cycle normally is? Mine's 27 days normally. Still that little bit of delusion hope that it's just not picked up on it...I really felt weird for the last few days, so had fooled myself into thinking this was the month. I know everyone does that, it's good to know it's not just me!

katerinaemalina · 05/04/2013 20:02

Hello seaside most welcome here but sad that you are, if you get what I mean. Please do empty yr thoughts here. Everyone is really nice. I just find it really supportive even just reading thread. It makes me not feel so alone in what is a very horrible, confusing and sad time and where in RL people often say the wrong things or just don't know so come out with some clangers!

Back reading posts choc lovely cardi! Think I will just brave some cushions and lavender bags first. Going to get a janome basic machine. V excited. Have been doing a mass spring clear out too. Trying to find a house to buy so clear out/operation flat clean/learn to sew is helping me feel a bit more in control and less in eternal limbo land.

Have bought opks now too. Coming into DTD zone I guess soon. Gah!!

Well done to bfp ladies am rooting for sticky ones for you all xx

DIYandEatCake · 05/04/2013 20:03

Welcome seaside, you and I are at a similar point in ttc then (my miscarriage was over Christmas - god I sympathise with you having an ectopic, they thought mine was for a bit and I spent most of Christmas Eve being told I was looking like having a tube out - to cut a long story short they just hadn't done the first scan properly, was rescanned and confirmed not ectopic and I've never been so relieved. So I'm so sorry to hear what you went through.)

Last month I was completely convinced I was pg and completely devastated when it turned out I wasn't, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of craziness as af approaches to be honest. Due tomorrow, our timing was rubbish this month so not optimistic - but still have this crazy hope. Haven't poas as I hate getting negative results, making myself wait until at least day after af due if no show.

alyant79 · 05/04/2013 20:09

Welcome lily.
Your ectopic does sound dramatic, you poor thing :( can understand the anxiety.
You could try again Sunday, that should defo be late enough then.

Blackholes you need to hold out til Friday or you'll get fish slapped!

BlackholesAndRevelations · 05/04/2013 20:50

Haha- thanks for that, I need that threat of a fish slap!! Grin

Sorry I didn't say welcome to seaside... Hope your stay here is short xxx

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 21:06

Thanks everyone, so nice to meet you. I should have done this (Mumsnet chat) before, it's such a relief to be talking to people who've been through this too. I didn't realise how much I needed it. Feel like crying tbh, the glass of wine might not have helped....Sorry, posifrickingtivity!!

Know how you feel DIY, really does make me feel like I'm some crazy chickflick woman waiting for af, hopeful without really being, particularly now I've only got 70% fertility at best. Keep trying to modify my hopes, and not make it all I think about. What an awful Xmas for you, my surgery was the 17th so was mostly mobile for Xmas itself. Felt weirdly fine about it then - sad it had all happened, but I'd never really felt pregnant. Maybe shock, I'm now thinking. Don't feel so fine now, just want that BFP.

Thanks aly and Blackholes; sorry to read the crap you two have been through - and everyone on here. I'll be trying again on Tues, no matter what - even if af does come, I'm so paranoid about not picking up on another ectopic, I test every month no matter how obvious it is I'm not pg.

Original poster
WillSantaComeAgain · 05/04/2013 21:24

Hello weasel and lily- sorry you're here but hopefully you will find some much needed support on here. I think (lily) that you can't get away with not grieving- you can think you're fine and crack on straight away, then it has a habit of coming back to bite you on the arse a few months later. It gets better (again) though, I promise.

OP posts:
SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 21:33

Thanks Santa - and thanks for starting this thread. I'm starting to realise you're right, it's taken a while to realise I'm not as ok as I keep saying, but it's good (positive? I need to not hijack this thread with negativity!) to start recognising it I think. You and I MC'd at about the same time weasel - sorry to meet you, iykwim.

Honestly, there has been a lot positive about the experience, in an odd way. 1. At least we know sperm and egg can meet productively - DH had wondered whether his swimmers were lazy, but we got pg quite fast so that's good. 2. He was soo good when it all happened, really amazing and sensitive, so it has brought us closer in that respect. I really trust him with the crap stuff now. 3. I caught it in time - there were things the hospital did wrong, like defer my surgery til the morning, which meant being rushed into surgery at night when I ruptured - but it could have been worse, and I only have keyhole scars, so that's good!

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 05/04/2013 21:40

(waves to SeaLily) sorry that you are here, but come and POAS with me on Sunday - I have no idea when AF is due as my CBFM decided to fail me this month

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 05/04/2013 21:43

Oops sorry missed your post about POASing on Tuesday

Totally natural to be feeling like crying even now. I thought after my natural mc in dec that after one cycle my hormones would be back to normal but still get the crushing down feelings every so often. But knowing that they are hormonal and will pass helps a bit.

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 05/04/2013 21:46

katerina - am probably sounding like a broken record but if you need any help/inspiration for sewing projects then check out craftgawker link here
It has lots of different craft ideas with links to the tutorials etc on how to do them. You can search it too.
I could spend hours looking at ideas for stuff often do

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 21:47

I'd be honoured to POAS with you Chocolate ;-) We're in the same boat, it sounds like - feeling generically 'funny' but one bfn?

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 21:50

Sorry, replied too quickly - the crying thing's only just surfaced. Things have been so crazy busy since the ectopic, it's probable it's taken a while for it all to filter in. xx

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 05/04/2013 21:50

For all of the newbies, here are the thread rules courtesy of Santa:
POAS Rules

SeasideLily · 05/04/2013 21:53

I consider myself fishslapped :-) I shall duly wait until next Friday, which is probably very good for me as I'll know one way or the other via af by then! Thanks Saggy, I think I needed that!

Love (6)!