TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

[GinSoaked]

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

Xpost mad am worried they'll all be duds! Quality not quantity. Glad to have company for EC!

Nelly ? it doesn?t get better than 100% fertilisation rate. That?s fab news.

Mrsd ? MrT at the argc says that implantation happens within 48hrs of a blastocyst transfer. So yours will still be dividing and forming in to blastos. Then they hatch and then they implant. 24hrs and 48hrs after my ET i felt an ever slight pinching/cramping feeling in the pm which i thought was to do with ET. But i only recalled having it after i got my bfp and learnt when implantation takes place. I don?t think most people feel anything. i find it strange that implantation happens so quickly because i have read that implantation on a natural cycle on average takes place around day 9...so perhaps MrT is wrong!

Critter - blimey O Riley , you are an egg machine. I have egg envy!! Just really make sure you are drinking plenty of water - probably at least 3 litres a day . This is suppose to help stave off ohss. After EC I was told to set my alarm every 2-3 hours during the night and just drink as I had over 10.

Mad ? how are you doing, when is EC?

I am so nosey and would love to see what you all look like in RL ? well the ones i haven?t met. But I don?t think i could face seeing how many old school and uni buds have had kids so I doubt I?ll ever go back on.

I have decided that a lot of people on here are really perfect candidates for ivf...i.e. when sperm and egg don?t actually meet because of sperm issues or tube issues or ovulation issues etc. This is where ivf will work for you ? even if it takes a few rounds, you will definitely get there. This is where my concern lies for Roy and I. I think we do meet every now and again but I think there is something wrong with the ingredients. A bit like trying to bake a cake and it doesn?t rise properly and you can?t figure out what has gone wrong. The oven works fine, it?s just the flour or the eggs which aren?t binding properly. The cake may rise a bit but never properly.

I really would just love to know whether embies that don?t develop into blastocysts in the lab would never have developed in to blastos if they had been put back in you earlier.

Hi everyone :-)

I've been a lurker for a while (which sounds like something I should be ashamed of ) but I'd like to say a big thank you for posting so openly and frankly about your experiences. It's helped me massively in not feeling so alone in this. It's the first place I come to as soon as I get home from work (ok that makes me sound v. sad) but I am rooting for each and every one of you :-)

Briefly, I am 38 (going on 14...em sorry 39) and apart from a mc 6 years ago (in the 1st month of trying) we are having nae luck getting diffed (I'm Scottish in case that wisnae clear ;-) ). Had blood tests and sperm tests and even an HSG (OUCH!!) but we have been given the label ? 'Unexplained'. I hate that. I want a clear problem that can be fixed but hey ho. I also want a baby :-(

Joy and Euro, I'm totally heartbroken for you both with your recent mc's. They are apparently common (shitey-bollocks) but the pain I imagine is much more acutely felt after ttc for so long. Probability-wise I think your chances improve for next time I hope. I have everything crossed for you both (except my tubes....I need them) and I dearly hope I'll be reading about your diffed stories very soon :-)

Doll, Sar and Gin ? Woooohooooo :-D I'm so pleased for you. Bloody fantastic. Sar and Gin, I know because it's early you'll be existing on tenderhooks until the scans. I'm sending huge happy sticky thoughts your way :-)

Nelly, I really feel for you with the all hopes in the one egg basket. It is an expensive business after all. But it fertilised!! Yay! I'm very excited for you and hope you go easy on yourself over the next wee while. You deserve this and I have a good feeling x

I know there's a few of you in the midst of IVF right now. You are all brave courageous ladies and I'm in awe at the way you are all handling it. IVF is our next step (self-funded because we left it until I was 37 'n a half before seeking help and were rejected for NHS funded) but it's expensive and I'm terrified... I'm wishing you all the best of luck. It's a scary but exciting time and I hope the 'graduate' ratio gets some movement very soon! Best of luck to the fabulous foursome :-)

I don't want to rabbit on for too long (sorry rabbit for using your name in vain). I've not checked in with everyone but hello and hopefully chat to you all soon.

Best wishes, Zippy xxx

Nelly - i am chuffed to bits for you. You are the golden egg layer. This really really could happen.

Den-hope you are ok? So excited that you are pupo.

Critter - wow wow wow egg machine indeed. I have a funny feeling everything will be just fine very very soon.

I honestly do agree that 10+ crew are a beautiful bunch.

About the nips thing, with my first pregnancy, mine changed very quickly and never really returned to normal after the mc. Many a 2ww I got duped by nip trickery.

Welcome zippy. I never think about lurkers when I post, but I'm glad you have found thjis thread a comfort.

I feel the same as you about being "unexplained". Even though we know that IVF can overcome whatever problem we have, I still want to know! What's your timing for IVF?

critter and mad. It looks like you are going to be EC buddies like doll and I were. :) I really liked having someone to go through it all with.

Hello zippy, lovely to meet you. Your story is a bit mine in that I got pregnat straight away, mc and then nothing.its a very strange thing indeed. Do you have any even mild symptoms of endo or anything like that? I had peritubal adhesions pos caused by the mc. Is a diagnostic lap an option? If you do choose ivf, don't worry, its not as bad as it seems and has good success rates for unexplained.

Welcome zippy! Thanks for the good wishes and sorry that you find yourself on here. Do you have a date for the ivf yet?

Aww joy. I really do think you just had rotten luck with your ivf cycle and am positive you will get there. When is your follow up appointment? Hopefully they will be able to give you some answers.

nellie wohoo for the ace fertilisation rate. Bring on the golden egg! I think your egg is v likely to be top quality.

Omg critter! That is a lot of eggs! Water and protein are both important for ohss prevention, but I am sure your clinic will be keeping a close eye on you. It sounds like you will def have something to freeze. You are v brave to be hosting a party - we largely hid during our cycles!

mad how was your scan? Great news that EC is on Monday. Hope you are feeling ok love.

mrsd hope you are relaxing and enjoying being pupo. I had no idea I was pregnant until I did the test! My symptoms were all v period like. We had the blast transferred on the fri, on the tues I had a small dizzy spell when shopping, the weds I had a migraine, thurs some really bad period type pain and on the fri a little nausea. I was also a pmt bitch from hell all week. So basically you can't really tell and can drive yourself mad trying to work it out!

All the norks and hot mr c talk has muchly amused me. Personally I think critter herself is gorgeous and agree with nellie that the 10 +ers are a rather lovely and youthful looking bunch. I love having you all as FB friends and your witty, non-kidcentric updates. I am amazed that no one appears to have friends in common, although I'm pretty sure art and I must know some of the same peeps via work.

Waves to everyone - am struggling to keep up!

Well, we've been officially discharged from the clinic :) The scan was today and all seems to be fine. The sack and yolk are average size and heartbeat good, but the embryo is at the lowest end of normal size. It was totally surreal to see its little heart beating away on the screen. I'm a bit worried about embie size (5.7mm at 6 and 5), but the nurse said she thought it may be a bit bigger, but that she couldn't get a proper measurement as it was all curled up in a corner of the rather big and empty looking sack! Due date is 14 Dec according to the clinic. Whereas Futility Friends puts me at 6 and 3 and 15th Dec!

Anyway sorry to witter on and hope it doesn't upset anyone. I hope some of you can take some comfort from what's happened to us. I really do think so much is about luck and keeping going although I still feel exceptionally nervous about it all xx

Joy -just read your cake paragraph. Big big hugs. I know we are all good at seeing the potential for others and not ourselves but I truely dont think your problems will be as severe as all that. You showed you can make, implant and grow embies. Yes the recent ones weren't going to be capable of ongoing growth but if each of your potential embryos always had faulty dna then you would be regularly mc after a few weeks. Does that make sense? It seems that you have had shitty shitty luck with 2 mc and 3 embies but that still isn't a large number scientifically speaking to base a theory of dna that is incapable of making a baby, oh joy, chances are you aren't having loads of early mc and chances are egg and sperm just need a hand to meet to allow the chance of pregnancy, oh sweetheart, not sure I am helping but I do think you have lots of baby making potential. Wish I could make it all feel better, have you thought about getting a second expert opinion about the best way forward and what your mc mean without actively signing up for treatment. That was my plan with dr tubes, xxxx

X post sar and euro.

Gin -I am soòooo pleased that the scan was ok, how lovely to see the heart beat. Try not worry about the size, most pregnancies are not scrutinized at this stage and scans are often out a little, tightest hugs, xx

Thanks sar! Have you managed to get your scan booked yet?

joy I know the stories never make us feel much better because, as nelly said, they always happen to someone else. I still have to say that my friend had two miscarriages (including an ivf one) followed by a successful pregnancy. she also worried that she just wouldn't be able to stay pregnant and got angry at family members who said "at least you know you can get pregnant". There is every reason for you to have faith that this can work for you. And sar shows that even when if fails, mother nature sometimes comes through when you least expect it xx.

Well done on a good scan gin. You do indeed government us hope so please don't worry about posting. I know that i want to share in your happiness. You asked about my scan. It's tomorrow morning. having loads of twinge so trying not to wonder whether they've left me too long . They know what they are doing and all will be fine.

Got to go. more later!

Ok. just looked back and saw what my phone did to that post .

If is ivf for joy

and government???? Should be give

Thanks Euro for your welcome :-) It is frustrating not to know 'why' hey?. A girl at my work is pregnant, she's prob about 20 years old and at around 20 weeks. I see her out smoking in her break and my mind boggles at my once a week latte guilt ;-) Aaargh :-( This thread is defo a comfort x
We may start the ball rolling with IVF in September...

Thank you Sar. I'm so so pleased for your recent good news. I'm not sure how long you've been trying or what you've been through but to sneak in a little natural conception there is just lovely :-) I'm not sure on the endo front with me . I almost wish I'd been braver and opted for a lap instead of an HSG to test the tubes in case there is a problem with my womble...During the HSG they could see my womb is tilted but not much else and the tubes were fine. The pain was ridiculous though. When 'mild cramps' are suggested and the reality is me screaming and grappling with the poor nurse to get off the table away from the pain ...and they have to pause the procedure midway.....hmmm, it makes you wonder if there is something wrong in there...? Orrrr I'm just a pathetic woos :-O

Thank you Gin! BTW when I saw your BFP I literally whooped! I don't know if it's sweet or disturbing for you to know that random strangers are jumping off the sofa for you but... :-D. September for IVF for us is the plan at the moment... Yay for the positive scan! Lovely heartening news :-) Fingers crossed for Sar too xx

Luffs from Zippy

Evening ladies. Thanks for all the welcomes, this thread has already been a massive support. You are all so generous with sharing your experiences and good advice.

Madness, hello and thanks for the welcome. It really is amazing to be able to talk to people who understand. We have only told close family and one good friend that we are ttc, and none of them have any experience of struggling to conceive, even if they are completely lovely about it. I hope all is good with you?

Critter, wowsers on the eggs! I hope the clinic are looking after you. If af arrives this weekend I will start round 2 of clomid next week. I didn't know you were supposed to be monitored though, the dr didn't mention it when he gave me the prescription. After asking dr google about clomid in general, I spoke to the actual dr this week and she said I could have a scan if I wanted. I felt like a bit of a fusspot but I've arranged one for week after next anyway

Thanks for the welcome euro, I hope your trip is going well? I am with you and zippy (hello, I'm new too!) about being unexplained. Can unexplained be fixed with a glass or two of malbec and a few squares of chocolate please. I am led to believe both of these things are v good for you...

I'm so pleased to hear that the scan went well gin.

Hello to doll and sar, I don't think I have congratulated you both!

Waves to everyone, and leftover chocolate fudge cake to anyone in need of it. There's plenty to go around

Welcome ramona, thanks for your kind words. What is your next step?

Zippy -my hsg was agony. it did show petitubal adhesions and this was my problem although disagreement between docs.to cut a very long story short they recommended ivf as said both my tubes were shot, I never believed this. It didn't work, possibly due to toxic environment from partially blocked tube. I agreed to surgery this january but I demanded they preserved not removed my tubes. Adhesions removed and fell pregnant naturally by march. From your point of view, tilted womb to left or right and painful hsg can be a sign of adhesions, but cant say for sure of course. If you have any doubts, speak to your dr about a lap, even if you still proceed to ivf, it will have been good to check this first. Lap wasn't too bad.

Gin-midwife told me to poas at 6 weeks which is almost upon me. If it is still positive (wont dare look) then self refer to epau for a scan.

evening ladies, just rushing in again as things are 'madder than a hatter' right now

critter you go girl hope they keep an eye on, pupo seems to be used more on ff i think

gin congrats that is great news, don't worry about sizing right now, will you wait till you're 12 weeks for your next scan??

sar did get things sorted with the midwife?? How are you feeling??

joy you're post made me sad, super big hugs, I think sar might be on the right track about getting a second opinion, fresh eyes can make a difference.

pout my lovely when is your follow up appointment, Kayla says hello to the dogs, she has been a little happier now the sun is out and the windows are open, she caught a great big fly tonight and ate it live

euro when in May will you start your next cycle??

rabbit super super big hugs to you

madness good luck for Monday

ramona and *zippy welcome to the thread :)

nelly glad you rested up, I think we might have an insurance shag or two next week before we go

naoko nice to see you again

Well I think I am on a bit of a sugar high as I have eaten nothing but ANZAC biscuits all day I'm feeling quite excited and optimistic right now, not because I believe it will work but because the end is in sight either way, my biggest concern is who is going to come when to look after Kayla

I was doing some more cleaning earlier and found 8 more pairs of knickers some were rather frilly took me 5 minutes to work out how to put them on, oh and I found a pair that I used to wear with the knee high boots

On the nork front, mine aren't what they used to be :(, when I started to lose weight that was the first place I lost it from, but still have a pair I'm quite happy with would get them out if very drunk

anyway I have a mahoosive list of things to do

Morning hags!

Look after yourself critter! OHSS is bad, but lots for the freezer potentially is good. Thankfully we have plenty of good advice around.

Many congrats gin. Discharged from the clinic with a beating heart. That is just fantastic!

Thinking of the PUPO, newly diffed and nearly diffed ladies. Will keep everything crossed on Monday.

Life got in the way of too much time on here recently. But I've been very low due to due date looming this Sunday and no treatment since January and no progress since that miserable day in September. But work has been fun and busy and distracting. But in my low state of mind I actually picked a good fight with SB the other night. All settled now thankfully.

When are you off buzzy? Hoping it will bring everything you don't dare to expect!

So sorry joy you are feeling negative about it all. I agree with sar that it is easy to see the potential for others, while harder for yourself. I was reading general ferti-stuff on the internet recently and a lot of people were raving about DHEA not that you'd need it, but it might be something to try. I am convinced there will be a happy end for you. I had dinner with the four MCs now nearly two children in 18months friend last night and I thought of you. It all can change!

Welcome newbies! That was a lovely post to jump into the thread zippy. IVF in September, I hope you won't need it! Waves at any other lurkers. I always forget they are there even if I lurked a few threads myself before joining in! I too share the frustration at being unexplained, it is very annoying!

Is the golden egg going in today nelly? Keeping everything crossed for it!!

Your work sounds insane euro, even if it gives you a chance to ogle at mrC. Hope things settle soon!!

Oops not hags that is a BESH word, here you're all lovely ladies!

Welcome zippy if there are any more lurkers out then come and reveal yourselves too! We need new posters to replace all or graduates.

lemon tight squeeze for you. Significant dates are the pits, and due date must be the worst of them all. Is the plan to start ivf soon? The waiting is awful.

gin wow, that is amazing that you saw a little heartbeat. Don't worry about size, someone has to be at that end of the scale and it means nothing. I think it mind blowing that a couple of weeks ago it was a few cells and now there's a heart.

thank you gin and joy for the info on implantation and symptoms. joy I think that makes sense about the 24hr after blast being implantation because I've been told to take the decapeptyl shot on sunday which would be day 6 and this is supposed to aid implantation so I think they must think it happens on this day or the day after. I don't think I'll be able to tell anything from the symptoms because they could all just be down to the progesterone so I'm going to try really hard not to symptom spot. Famous last words!

joy I think we all rate each others chances better than our own. You can make embryos and they can implant, which is two thirds of the way there. 1 in 4 end in miscarriage and you know that there was a chromosomal with at least one of the embies, this is the most common reason for mc. So, from where I am it looks like it's a matter of very bad luck and nothing more. You've only done one round of ivf, this is a numbers game. If you're like me though you will always think the worst when it comes to your own situation and I totally understand the gut wrenching despair and feeling that this will never happen. I really do believe it will happen for you though. On paper, our case looks simple. But my immature eggs has shown that it's not and I honestly have no real hope in thinking this will work, I assume it won't. I'm saying this because I want you to know that I also don't have positivity, but that's because I've conditioned myself to assume the worst. I'm sure the dr thinks I'm doom and gloom. I said to him before ec, "I really hope you can find an egg" and his reply was "why would you think I wouldn't?" and then it turns out that I did only have 2 decent ones. I said to dh after we had transfer that the nurse had a look of pity when she said good luck like she was thinking it's not going to work for them. Positive thinking is not part of my world after so many setbacks.

critter I also advise lots of fluid. I've been told to have 1 to 2 litres a day and I'm not even at risk after my poor egg haul. Don't worry about quality you can afford for there to be a few dud ones, I have a good feeling for you!

nelly is it transfer day today?

madness good luck for the scan.

lemon due dates are shit, do something nice on Sunday, a lady on another thread lit a candle for me, and I bought two pretty little boxes ( I collect them) to remember mine by, they sit on my bookcase big hugs for sunday I will be thinking of you

Welcome Zippy ? you sound a lot of fun! Sorry you have had a tough time. I still find it extraordinary that there are bunch of women out there who conceived quickly and easily at the start, miscarried and never conceived again. I was the same. It?s really peculiar. And i think my mind would more than boggle if i saw a pregnant colleague smoking. You sound self restrained. I admire you. i hope it doesn?t come to ivf but being unexplained is truly a pain in the butt. Out of interest, have you had things like your Vit D levels tested?

Gin ? that is fantastic news! I?m so pleased. You must have been so nervous going there. Low end of normal is still normal and they are so small at this point that it?s impossible to get an accurate reading. I read that ivf embies can be a bit slow to begin with and then they catch up after week 8. So I give you your baby on board badge. Well done Gin. Hope the nausea isn?t too bad. I know it?s nerve wracking but hopefully 12 weeks will be upon you soon and you will get some reassurance.

Lemon ? i?m sorry about the due date. It really is shitty but also a sad, reflective time. I always resent the fact that my GP gave me my due date for my first pregnancy because it is now stuck in my mind forever and more than anything it?s just a reminder that i?m no further forward every time it comes around. This time round i refused to think about it and told someone at the birth clinic before i had my scan not to bother working it out. i know it would have been September but i didn?t want a date. Big hug.

Sar/Mrsd ? thank you for your kind words. I am conscious I sound morose and downbeat about our situation and you probably wonder why considering we did actually get pregnant. But I have always felt like i have some weird intuition/sixth sense about our situation and this is telling me it won?t happen as there is something deeply wrong at the molecular or compatibility level. I always wondered whether it was just negativity rather than intuition but when this last episode went tits up, it just validated all of my fears and gave my intuition evidence. This probably doesn?t make sense! It?s funny how we feel so optimistic for other people and not for ourselves. I totally get what you are saying though Mrsd and I 100% believe it will happen for you too. From where I am sitting it feels like it?s just a matter of time for you. Your immature eggs are nothing sinister, it?s to do with drug doses and stimming for the right length of time. But it?s probably hard for you to see it like that. We need that crystal ball don?t we.

Buzz ? ooh it sounds like it is hotting up for you. when do you leave?

Mad ? although everyone on here feels like good things happen to other people, i still like hearing about these stories, they offer hope!.

Just quick as I'm in car (not driving). ET went well so I'm PUPO . Got there, told it was 2 cell, both even sized. Normal for stage 2. Then, did trial catheter and told I had a backward tilting uterus which I never knew. And just before the embryologist loaded up the catheter the embryologist looked again and it had gone 4 cell. The doctor said this was great news as you want both cells to subdivide quite close together. He said the transfer was easy, so I'm feeling as happy as can be expected. Also got the ok to use additional cyclogest (MrsD I get an ovitrelle injection instead, so actually hcg rather than progesterone.

Just going back to work now, boo.

So much I didn't say including hugs for Joy and Lemon, yay for heartbeat Gin, exciting about imminent trip buzzy and hello to Fellow Scot zippy.

yay to being PUPO nelly snap on the backwards tilted uterus. I got told that at my transfer and it made it a little bit more difficult to see the catheter on the screen. I think they must change positions because I've had so many examinations, once before I was told it was backwards but then other times they've said it's normal . That's great it was an even 4 cell too . My two had also both made it to 4 cells by day 2, if I never ever do get a baby at least I can say that I once made it to 4 cells! I wish I could see what was going on in there now.

joy the intuition thing makes total sense to me. I always thought I'd have a problem, and I always seem to predict the problems before they happen. The rational side of me knows this is silly. If you keep faith for me, and I'll keep it for you then we'll both have some positivity!

buzzy have you packed yet? It's nice that you can make it into a holiday too. I hope the sun shines for you. What is the process when you get there? Are you still on the downregging phase?