TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

[GinSoaked]

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

Joy I know exactly what you mean. The last wedding I went to we were stuck on a table with couples of the same age and we were the only ones without children. I felt like a complete outsider. It's like that with our friends now except for the single ones.

When did ivfers start with the progesterone? I've been told to take four a day, two in morning, two in evening. Nurse said ale two tonight but dr has written down to start tomorrow. I've also been told to have a decepatyl injection in four days time. They said there is one evidence it I proves outcome. I thought I'd mention it in case you haven't been offered. Also I have been told to carry on as normal except take fold acid and iodine. Don't let my tummy get cold, but not too hot. They specifically said no saunas please cross everything that fertilisation happens.

damn nelly I really feel for you. It's just crap when the second round response goes worse than the first. My version was that my LP response (first round) was a bit crap so the Dr said it's not giving me the added advantage that it should and I would respond as well on SP. Then when my SP response was worse than the first round he pointed the finger at the protocol choice. Grrr. And all those rubbish expensive drugs for nothing. I totally get it. FWIW in your shoes I would continue with this as IVF. It could be the egg, it really could. Massive hugs.

Well done madness and mrsden good news for both of you.

I'm thinking of you all, not just the IVFers, and hello to new folk too.

mrsden I started the fanny candles the evening after the EC (same day I mean). There seems to be some variation between clinics of the dose. I did three times per day but I don't know the dose of each off the top of my head.

MrsDen that's a great haul. Well done. No idea on the progesterone as my clinic give a low dose of ovitrelle instead although I will be taking additional progesterone if it gets that far. I think these ladies say from day of EC.

Joy I think we will go for the ivf. Really all we have to lose is some money. Pout it's good to hear you had more eggs than first thought but I'm pretty sure it's tumblewomb in there. The scans don't take long

Rabbit we can have a virtual brew for now. I don't think you will need DE but we can hold hands on this scary journey.

You are all lovely. You give more support than you can know.

Thanks Doll. Having swore blind I'd avoid it I think LP might be worth a shot. There were 3 or 4 follies in there not doing much. My concern was the risk of shutting everything down for good. But hey guess what, that's happening anyway so what do I have to lose? Still I've got to focus on this waste of time cycle first.

I think I should take my bad mood elsewhere for a bit .

Thank you all for you kind welcomes!

Muddywellynelly, I wish I had lots of advice for you but afraid I know nothing about these treatments so far. Hopefully one of these lovely ladies will keep you right, keep positive and one egg is better than no eggs at all :-) so hard to remain positive though I know, but keep your chin up.

Littlepinkfizz - I do the same every month, why does it never get easier?! How long have you been trying, if you'd don't mind me asking?

Buzzybee123 hopefully Barry has some kind of sixth sense, fingers crossed! And 53 pairs of knickers makes me feel quite ashamed, think I have about 12 and most of them need the bin!

Thatwaymadnesslies - best of luck with the scan, fingers are crossed.

Lemon - fair play to you crib building, definitely deserve a prize for that! ...and booze probs correct way forward!

Rabbitonthemoon keep positive, and hopefully you will get a chance to do crafting for your own nursery one day soon and teach your future baby 2 languages!

AF due for me at the weekend when I'm in Copenhagen for a long weekend, so bound to start just to pee me off. Dh was dropping off sample this morning, should gets results in a couple of days apparently. Fingers crossed all OK. Happy thoughts to everyone else too x

3littlebirds that's a lovely message to everyone! You will wear yourself out writing full names though, you'll quickly pickup the shorthand we use.

Copenhagen sounds fun. I was there when I was about 10! That's quite a while ago now mind...

Welcome birds. You'll fit right in here. Hopefully your stay won't be for long though because you'll get your bfp

Nelly, I also agree with the others that think you might as well go for ivf, with icsi too to give yourself the best chance. Which protocol works seems like such a lottery. I probably would have got more eggs with lp but I'm happy sp far we went with sp as its been easy on my body. Our problem is t my eggs though, it's the sperm which is why I'm nervous about whether fertilisation will happen. Our clinic seems to prefer sp because of the law they don't like to make many spare embryos. We are able to implant up to three, and we can freeze three but extras have to be destroyed befpre they get past 24 hrs.We won't have extras so its not an issue for us.

For anyone worrying about ec. I'm a wi p and it was fine. I had a general but if feel ok now just a bit slow. My tummy is fine.

Blame the ga for all my typos sorry.

Mrsd ? fab news about your haul. That?s great news. and now wishing you all the luck for great fertilisation. Also MrD?s sperm count isn?t that bad is it? i know it is for trying naturally but there surely will be plenty for icsi so there is abosolutely no reason why you won?t get good fertilisation. But the wait is always nerve racking , it?s horrible.

Pout ? lovely that a family member chose to discuss your fertility at a wedding. Gees. I wsa reading an interview with Kate Humble in the daily hell today and she said she is viewed very suspiciously because she chose not to have kids. She always gets asked why she doesn?t have them and she pointed out that actually for all these nosey parkers know, she may not have been able to have had them. Some women choose not to and why that gives people the right to be suspicious is extraordinary. Anyway Roy was sitting between 2 women who had 8 kids between them and they were talking over him all night about their kids. He looked so bored.

One of the first things my BiL and his wife said to me after having a child was they felt like they had more in common with their new friends with babies than old friends. Surely that?s a state of mind? That?s like saying you can?t have something in common with a single person because now you are in a relationship. Perhaps I don?t get it because i don?t have a child but i would hope i would be able to hold a conversation about something else other than my kids. Having said that my main topic of conversation are my ovaries so i can?t talk!

Nelly ? i think if one protocol isn?t working well, trying another could be a good idea. If there are more follies there, it does suggest that one egg was taking all the juice and denying the other ones. That?s why i had to have a cyst aspiration at the beginning. It wasn?t actually a cyst but a follicle which had started to grow so in order for that one not to take all the drugs, they drained it. Also perhaps they need to adjust your dosage of drugs to get the best out of them. However, this golden one you have there now, may indeed be that, golden.

3birds ? i hope your period doesn?t show.

His count is pretty bad joy. But his morphology is poor too ans what we don't know is if there are problems with the DNA too.

I have drifted away from friends with kids. I hate to say it but I find them quite boring. All they ever talk about is their kids. I also think people get much more selfish.

Nelly - I hope your egg is, in fact, the golden one.

MrsD - Congratulations on the haul. I hope some fertilize and everything will move forward nicely ? I guess I should be now be chanting go sperm!

Buzzy - you are reminding me I should clean out my drawers too? Lots of spring cleaning to do.

Madness - Good luck with the upcoming scan.

Pout - I can?t believe the insensitivity of your family member - to discuss something so private about you at a wedding and to strangers . That would have sent me over the deep end.

Joy - Poor Roy, I feel for him stuck listening to all the inane details about other peoples children. I second Pout in saying that your advice to rabbit is spot on.

Big hello to all I have missed!

A couple work deadlines met and I can stop being a deadbeat 10 plusser and start reading and posting more.

I see there are some newcomers, welcome birds and Fizz I echo everyone in hoping that your stay is short on the board!

My friends with kids only ever talk about their kids. I don?t mind a couple anecdotes, but honestly who cares if your son took a big poo last night? I think it is hard to find commonalities because they are so sleep deprived solely focused on being a parent.

I met my deadlines friday and spent the whole weekend outdoors gardening with DH.
I am now waiting for AF to show her nasty face this weekend and being anxious overall because my first cycle after HSG will be the second shortest for me in 2 years (31 days). The next Drs appointment is at the end of May and we will find out the results of DHs second SA. So my fertility future is in limbo where I am futilely fucking DH waiting for something to happen.

Best of luck to all those injecting and having ECs and ETs around the corner. Huge admiration for those who kindly spent their time helping other set up their nurseries - you are very kind and brave women.

I am now comfortably working from home ? onto more writing!

MrsD - I was impatient sending the post and mine cut a bit - I meant to say some fertilize in spite of the morphology issues!

nelly I am so sorry that you're having such a crap time. As others have said, it only takes one egg and this could be the one. Euro and Doll had success with one egglet...don't lose hope. I also think it might be worth discussing your protocol with the clinic (or even switching clinics). People here in the US reassess protocol and clinics often if one place isn't working out. Keep an open heart! If this isn't the lucky cycle (and it may well still be!) it may be that LP or natural IVF would be a better option for you.

den Seven eggs is brilliant! Well done, that's fab news. I'll be sending them positive thoughts over the next few days.

madness wonderful that it's all kicking off now - so pleased for you. Hurrah! Did they say when EC might be? Sorry if you said already and I missed it!

I hung out with euro yesterday afternoon and evening at a friend's barbecue - it was lovely. There was even a four week old IVF baby in attendance, as though it was a sign! I do love this thread, you guys are so great.

Welcome 3birds - I hope your stay here is short and sweet - in the nicest possible way!

lemon you are a brave lady building a cot. I did at your post.

joy and pout harrumph at annoying parent types. To be honest that's actually something I like about not having children yet - I have other things to talk about besides nappies and childcare woes. I don't like the way that they seem to totally take over some people's lives... but I do have friends with children who don't talk about their children constantly and seem to have kept a good balance - so I think it's possible!

rabbit I also totally agree with joy and pout on having a plan. I think not having a plan is the worst, it's the hardest place to be - the endless waiting. I was talking to a friend who has only been trying 6 months this weekend and she was incredibly stressed out and upset about it - she's been charting and it looks like she has a short luteal phase and isn't always ovulating - and I really felt for her because she hasn't seen a doctor yet or got a plan together. It helps to feel like you have some control over this interminable crappy process.

fizz sorry about imminent AF but yay for Maltesers

buzz hope the stabbing is going well, you must be adding in the oestrogen now?

sar and gin fingers tightly crossed for the two of you, hoping for good scans very soon.

AFM nothing exciting to report apart from my lovely date with euro. Incidentally mad and nelly I would LOVE a Scottish meetup next time I am there - my parents have a house in the south-west and I will hopefully be there some time in the next six months.

I had a blood test this morning but no scan - I'm only three days into stimms so I think it's too early. The Gonal F pen is fine but I had a bit of a balls up with the Menopur on Friday, which has two vials that you need to mix and a bigger needle. The first night I did it, I got bubbles in the syringe and also managed to confuse 0.1ml with 1.0ml and had to chuck one of the syringes - I also didn't ice it and it was quite painful and bruised badly. Anyway, I think I've got the hang of it now, and last night's jab was a lot less traumatic! I was also glad that I wasn't doing my first jab in the Ozarks on my own, especially as I didn't pack enough meds to cover a cock-up on my part - I would have been panicking. I was relieved that I was at home! I think they're looking at EC early next week - I'm about a week behind the rest of the Awesome Foursome.

xpost sweet - I hope that AF doesn't appear. You're meant to have extra good chances after an HSG, I think?

Critter, I'll have to send mrden stateside to help you, he is a pro at preparing the injections. Not surprising given his job all I had to do was hold the skin. It must have been fate that you weren't meant to go away. I love that you and euro could meet up.

So single EC is go for Wednesday. Not till lunchtime though so I have to stay up late for tonight's trigger. They've said they will scan me before hand just to check the sucker hasn't popped.

Oestrogen was only 660 so no hint of hidden follies. Safe to say this has been an expensive dud of a cycle.

Sorry for the me stuff will catch up later on everyone else

Oh mrsd now I am intrigued as to what he does! Yes an injection-preparer would be fantastic and just what I need - I think I shouldn't give up the day job when it comes to medical stuff! In all seriousness if you two ever make it over here you have to get in touch!

nelly sorry about the results, it does seem odd that the drugs have not had much affect, what were you taking? Although one egg worked for euro so I suppose if you have started then continue, as for quick scans, perhaps you have a tidy womble or an efficient scanner :) I will try the feliway stuff as I am too embarrassed to take her to the vet

mrsd hope you are resting up, fingers crossed for this week

madness well done :)

fizz how long are your cycles usually as Friday is along way a way, could be too early to test

pout Thanks for vibes

3birds I am hoping that Barry isn't building his hopes up but he did seem to talk as if it was a certainty. Copenhagen is a pretty city, hope its good news on the SA front for you

sweet well done on meeting the deadline, limbo is a crap place to be, although May is just round the corner

critter its a pain mixing things, yes I had my first estrogen tablet today wahoo

I don't have alot of friends with babies or kids, well not in this country anyway, I think if you 'change' because you have kids and can't relate to your non kid friends then there are ishoos and insecurities, you've had a child not a lobotomy for goodness sake

I have asked Barry for another cat actually two but he has said no

nelly good luck with golden egg for Wednesday x

Welcome 3 little birds. Sorry you find yourself here but we are a 'naice' bunch of ladies and will be happy to help you until you get your baby. Which of your results were borderline if you don't mind me asking?

Lemons and Rabbit - I am astonished at your kindness and abilities to make such things as baby clothes and cribs. What lovely lovely people you are.

Pink fizz - sorry this is so draining. Have you had any investigations? It might be something straight forward that can be treated to help you become pregnant. But above all else, finding peace and happiness after long term ttc is most important. What are your next plans?

Nelly - sorry for the stress about the one follie. Is one ovary still hiding? Could there be more follies on it? I agree that IVF over IUI on this occasion may give you a better chance but you must go with your instincts. Maybe treat this like a natural cycle IVF if it turns out to be one egg? And my goodness, how lovely that egg will be as it had an entire ovary to itself. I am sorry that this is a shitty stressy time. But it isn't over. Lots of time and options yet. I can't remember if you did monitored clomid type cycles before IVF? And have you ever had a lap (just throwing ideas out there, not saying you need one). Big hugs Nelly, I know this is a very hard time. See what the blood results say.

Madness - what a relief. I am so pleased for you. Just goes to show how well you can read your own body. You have great chances, nothing to fear. Keeping everything crossed for you my lovely.

Den - oh my goodness, 7 eggs is wonderful. You can relax now and let the swimmers and the eggs get it on to barry white. Hope you aren't feeling too ouchy. Its a great feeling to know you have been through EC. Well done, make sure you rest and drink plenty of fluids.

Will be back after I turn the chicken thighs

Joy - sorry about the kiddy filled wedding. I 100% understand that feeling of being the alien of the group when others are gushing over their little ones. I was at a family 18th recently and found myself struggling to naturally chit chat to all the mummys and daddys (although I wasn't rude, just felt shit inside). Also at Christmas last year there was an awkward moment when cousins baby was passed to me. This baby is always smiling and never cries. Guess what heppens when she comes to me - yup she bawled her eyes out. The eyes down in the room and shuffley embarresssment of others (at least how I perceived it) was awful. Sorry you feel rubbish that nothing is in the pipeline. Can you allow yourself a month or two off? Sorry - I know its not as easy as all that. When do you have your cycle / mc review?

More later

Evening ladies,

Wednesday for EC isn't far away at all nelly. When I was disappointed last week my nurse said that she had seen it so many times - one egg, one embryo, one baby - so please have faith. If you can't (and I totally get why you might not be able to) we will hope for you.

mrsd I have absolutely everything crossed. You have a fab chance of good fertilisation with ICSI. My friend's husband had a really poor count after testicular cancer in his twenties and they have a beautiful baby boy now so there is every reason to be positive.

pout it is funny that we both had mishaps during the cycle. I too blame it on the drugs will have to go back to being a moody clutz when all these injections stop

critter you may just catch up with me. I may be growing follies but EC not until next Monday. I have four vials of menopur a day and am just starting to get the hang of mixing it quickly. Would love to see you in Scotland when you're next here. Am very of your BBQ with euro.

sweet I refuse to fuel mentalling about AF's potential arrival but well done on meeting deadlines and exercising your green thumb. I let MrM be totally in charge of the garden. I would kill everything. Thankfully I am much better with children than I am with plants .

3birds Copenhagen does sound lovely, AF or no. I love escaping for the weekend - a mini holiday to break the routine. I shall cross my fingers for good SA results as well.

fizz I have found that there have been awful times and okay times for me over the past few years. Sometimes I think I just can't take the rollercoaster anymore and then, like today, I feel a little burst of hope and I think that it will all be worth it if I manage to be a mum. Hang in there xx

joy for us it's not weddings anymore but trips with friends. We used to go away every year but we are now the only couple with no children and it can be so wearing making conversation about the kids all the time and having to go to kid friendly places. I understand why it is the way it is and if I were content to be childless it might not bother me but it's just gotten to be too much the last year or so.

sar and doll I hope you are both feeling well .

I am still reeling from a positive scan tbh. I was so frightened that they were going to cancel it all. Phone call from clinic says scan on Friday and collection on Monday. I still think, with all the endo, that implantation will be our biggest hurdle but it looks like we'll at least be able to give it our best shot and for that I am exceedingly grateful.

Sorry to anyone I missed!!

Oh nelly, I do feel for you. I'd be right royally fucked off if I'd been doing lots of expensive stabbing, to discover it'd done little. I think going ahead with the ivf is a good idea, as it does give you a better chance. My clinic is big on natural ivf for ladies who don't do much on stims/have low amhs. They claim fairly good success rates, so it may be worth looking in to. Big big hugs. You are v much allowed to be peed off and in a bad mood.

mrsd wohoo on surviving EC and a good haul. We had a 50% fertilisation rate, so will be intrigued to see what yours is, as our menfolk have similar SA. But I am positive yours will be at least 50% - dave's last ivf SA was so so poor and we still managed that. Are you in work tomoz? Hope you can take it easy.

mad I'm so pleased things are progressing well for you. V v exciting. Makes all the crappy hot flushes and hormones worth it.

buzz impressed at the size of your knicker drawer (surely a cupboard to get that many in ). I think Barry is right to be optimistic. You are guaranteed eggs and are v likely to have some left to freeze. And you know that your womble is receptive to implantation. Lots of positives to take hope from.

critter we hated the injections that had to be mixed and screwed it up several times! We both decided that we could never be junkies. I'm pleased there is a positive side to you missing your lovely trip. When is your next scan?

grouch your FF comment made me laugh! Is a shorter cycle a good thing for you? Fingers crossed for a hsg duff.

rabbit I agree with everyone else that once you have some dates for AC you will feel much better. The limbo waiting land is truly awful.

lemons you built a crib?! Bloody hell, you are one nice lady. And joy and pout I totally recognise the kiddie wedding stories. At our friends last summer, there were only 2 babies allowed at the whole thing and guess who ended up sandwiched between them. We have managed to maintain good friendships with some friends with kids, but have drifted away from others. I find they are worse when there's a gang of them.

Welcome birds. And any other newbies I've missed.

Waves to lovely sar.

I think someone asked about hobnobs. Dave made me promise not to do any more, but I have been sneakily doing the clear blue bad boys, the ones with conception indicators, once a week. It went up to 3+ weeks yesterday, phew could still be ectopic. My nausea has gone from just in the mornings to 24/7 but as long as there's a bean in there and it's still developing I really don't care. I think the 3 years of ttc have given me a v different perspective on it all to the normals.

Am thinking lots of the awesome foursome and buzzy who must be about a week away from jetting off.