TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

[GinSoaked]

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

An attempt at a Sunday catch up. I feel like a bad ten plusser at the moment, I just feel like I'm in a very slow free fall and that my likelihood of becoming pregnant are slim and I feel strange. Hopefully when I get some dates for next steps I might feel a bit more into all of this. Meanwhile I'm still throwing myself into crafts and cooking and garden and yoga and also I'm learning a new language. I don't have time for anything else!

euroand critter hope you've had a good meet up. Sorry your trip got cancelled critter but the thought of you driving around there did nt sound good!

mrsden from where I'm reading it all sounds like its going very well so I'm sure all will be good in the next steps. I think it's important for us to hear that from the people looking in.

ginsymptoms are good! I'll be so glad when you hear all is good.

sar I'm glad you got to speak to the midwife and I hope she was lovely and understanding. I think you have willpower of steel not to have eaten an awful lot of hobnobs but I'm glad you are where you are, it's been a long time coming and it is your time!

nelly how's the garden? And more importantly how are you?

madness I'm sorry about the back, what shitty luck and hopefully it will be something that rights itself quickly. Keep going lovely, you've had a big old downreg and I reckon all will come good really soon.

buzzy been thinking of you and how brave you are. Hope you've had a good weekend.

threebirds welcome. It's a crappy place to be but we will keep you company. Same to you tayme good luck both with the tests.

cosmos are you still here for a bit? Love to you.

And pout my lovely. Hope you're ok. And anyone else missed.

Good luck tomorrow mrsd. Keeping everything crossed for a good harvest.

Also thinking of the other madness and nelly for good growth. Hope all is going well. You're both being scanned tomorrow, right?

Welcome newbies threebirds and tayme. I hope your stay here will be short and sweet. The support here is fab, but the waiting and testing and hoping sucks.

Thinking of the newly diffed as well. Hope all is going well sar and gin. You so deserve it! Fingers crossed for good scan soon!!!

How's my poutster? How is the US-meet going, critter and euro?

Much love from a pissed lemon. We had a heavy weekend, with crib-building for a friend due next month, baby viewing born last week to two women, beaten by them too, cute kid and lovely girls though and postal present sending. So we drank wine and had fish and talked. Until the ILs demanded SB's attention. So now I am here...

Hello squiffy lemon. Here is a rosette for crib building. I made an outfit for a friends baby today. Mixed emotions aren't they?

I'm giggling at pissed Lemon. Nice style! I went to a party last night, chatted to a preggo half the night and got asked by a random stranger if I want kids .

Today we ended up going in a tour of Scotland or so it seemed, but it was kind of fun actually and MrN and I had a quick chat about whether we think about the future. As in, daring to dream. Conclusion - we do, but not very often. It's too painful and not a little bit surreal.

Anyway, yes I have a scan tomorrow. I do think I feel a bit more in my ovaries but who knows. Madness hope it goes well. Will be thinking of you.

MrsD tomorrow will be fine. Best of luck to you and your little egglets x

Rabbit honey I'm sorry you feel in limbo. Big paw squeeze for you. Your turn for AC will be here before you know it, and meantime enjoy all those hobbies.

Phone posting doing my head in so that's all I can manage. Hello to newbies, as others have said this is a nice place to hang out.

evening ladies

rabbit I'll join you in limboland, making baby clothes

mrsd good luck for EC tomorrow

madness and nelly hope all goes well for you both, hope th eback is getting better madness

euro and critter Hope you had a lovely catch up

lemon well done on the on the crib building and at being squiffy

tayme and 3birds welcome to the group, lots of support and advice here from all these lovely ladies

gin and sar hope pregginess is going well for you both

pout how are the curtains going??

well I am knackered, have finished the DIY for now, just waiting for the flooring to go in. I have decided to get out my summer clothes, most don't fit so I now get to buy some new clothes :), I had a tidy up of my knickers too, I have 53 pairs!!! clearly I have ishoos

Kayla has been in a mood for 3 days plus she has a new bald patch on her back leg well off to bed my head is pounding

lemon that was a very well earned tipple I think. Crib building is very admirable and rabbit I am well impressed with your sewing endeavours. Have been watching Great British Sewing Bee and thinking that I must do a dressmaking course next . Sorry you still feel so up in the air about it all. I'm glad you're keeping busy with lovely hobbies. Dates will help - the waiting in between appointments feels interminable. I had many a day when I felt totally adrift before starting ivf...... Hang in there and this too shall pass.

buzzy that sounds very productive. Our DIY has been on hold for ages. I keep thinking an impending birth would be the motivation MrM needs to tackle a lot of it. Totally sexist I know but I am not a dab hand with a power drill. Painting is pretty much the limit of my useful home improvement skills.

Good luck again for tomorrow mrsd and I shall be thinking of both you and nelly when I am being scanned. My fingers are crossed for all of us.

Welcome 3birds this is a very supportive little group and you are more than welcome.

AFM my back is much better this evening after a good long walk by the seaside and I am feeling much more positive. Hopefully tomorrow's scan will reward my optimism.

Off to bed but big waves to all.

madness i'm sure it will be fine tomorrow, Barry is very optimistic that this will work as he has spent the whole weekend going on about when 'junior' comes and you might want to keep some of your fat clothes for when you're pregnant

DIY has helped keep me busy, glad your back is better

Good luck tomorrow mrsden! Sounds like you did the trigger perfectly - ovitrel is in the tummy, there's another bum one. Thinking of you and wishing you lots and lots of luck! X

Just nervously waiting for my appointment. How at you getting on with the stabbing Critter? Mrsden hope it is going well. I loved the sedation .

Buzzy one of our cats goes through phases of chewing. Once she had to have a steroid injection. We use feliway diffusers now and it helps a lot with the general kitty calm.

I was panicking as on Friday my boss asked me to cover a 9am meeting for him. I wasn't sure if I'd make it in time. And guess what? It's cancelled. I must remember that there is no point worrying about these things.

Anyway will update later.

Hope all you ladies are keeping well and that those getting extra help are successful!
It's such a long struggle month after month.far worse than I ever expected. Convince myself every month that I am pregnant. Even when AF comes I convince myself it's implantation bleeding and poas anyway.

AF due this Friday. Bfn yesterday and not testing again. Know AF on her way as munched through maltesers last night on a mad carb craving. Usually get this when AF due so that's it for me.

We will keep trying til the end of the year then stop. Just find it has taken over my life

Good luck with apt nelly

fizz it is a long hard slog. Keep going, you WILL get there.

Good thoughts to critter mrsd .buzzy and madness

So the good news is I'm ready for EC, quicker than last time. The bad news? With only one follie. I could have done that without the drugs FFS. Now trying to decide whether I convert to iui.

Big hug nelly remember it only takes one. What did the clinic advise?

Not much. I don't really know the stats. They will call later with my blood results (e2) and see whether that indicates any hidden follies or potential for growth. Might get one more gonal f tonight. I'm at a bit of a loss as to what to do. :(

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's all hard enough as it is without more unknowns and decisions. Might there be guru like folks on fertility friends who could offer advice? I guess now you've got this far it's worth a shot, lots of stories of one egg being THE egg?

I don't know Rabbit, I've kind of lost faith in those stories. Ironic pre-ivf diffs. Post ivf diffs. Periods that aren't. Holiday diffs. Stressed out diffs. Single egg miracles. They actually depress me as they happen to other people. And I pin my hopes on them and get let down.

I think we will go for the ivf and if it doesn't work I will ask for a monitoring cycle. If I grow a follie the same size without drugs I might try natural. Or there were 3 other tiny follies kicking about. Maybe I need to try a LP to see if I can get them all to grow at the same time. Oh I don't know. Maybe it's time to cut my losses and realise DE is my only hope.

I'm feeling a bit meh as you can tell . Thanks for being here!

nelly i bet you will be one of those stories but I'm sorry that things didn't go better today. a monitoring cycle sounds a good plan. repeated natural cycles would be much easier on your body.

hope things are good with Mrsd

I had my scan and things have well and truly started moving. i didn't get the exact count but i think i have 10 follies across both ovaries. most are between 8 and 10mm so will carry on with the stimming. Lining is 9.5mm!! depending on my blood tests today i will wither have a Rescan on wed or Fri with ec on either Friday or Monday.

Must run. more later.

Madness that's amazing . Well done!

I won't be one of those stories. Luck is not with us, the news get worse at every turn.

Nelly I know what you mean about the stories. I too feel like they happen to others - but there's no reason it might not happen for us. So much bloody waiting though. I've accepted de will most likely be a path for me but let's keep going for now and give our eggs their chances. Wish I could meet you for a brew.

Madness

hugs nelly, you'll get there. The whole thing is so frustrating though.

Madness, wow that's wonderful news.

I got 7 good eggs today. Dr happy. Just got to wait for the call tomorrow.

Firstly good luck for today mrsd. I am rooting for you and hoping that you get a good haul. Wishing you a very speedy recovery from the procedure

nelly Oh for goodness sake. I am sorry that you haven't had the best news. You deserve such a different outcome. For what it's worth I had quite a few hidden follies in the end. It would be ace if you had a little clutch hiding out. Are you thinking of converting to IUI this cycle?
Lots and lots of love to you and big hand squeezes.

joycep I am so pleased for you that your tests came back okay. That is fantastic news.

Welcome back from your hols lemons Crib building. You are a better woman than I!!!

Madness How was your scan? Not long now for D-Day! It amazes me how quickly it all seems to go.
I'm glad that your back is a bit better. It was me with the calf injury during my cycle. How weird that you too ended up with a pull! Maybe it is a strange drug side effect.
I have been watching the Sewing Bee too and would love to be able to make clothes. How brilliant would that be? I do feel that it would be way beyond me though...clothes darts...rolled hems WTAF?
I wish the programme wasn't just clothes challenges though. I was hoping for a bit of home sewing projects too. Ah well.

critter how are you doing with things? When is your EC?

buzzy how are you doing? Are you feeling a bit better about things? Woo hoo at finishing your DIY. I'm sure that it will look brilliant when the floor goes in.
How many knickers????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Kayla Sending her get well, hair growing vibes

rabbits I'm with you on the meh, sad thing. I have that sinking realisation too. Not helped by MrP saying how he doesn't believe anymore either. Like you I am trying to throw myself into distracting things but am struggling a bit to keep positive right now.

Littlebirdie hello. Sorry to hear that you have had a borderline test result. Good luck for hubby's sperm analysis!

pinkfizz I can totally relate to everything you say. It totally does your head in doesn't it. I was thinking this morning how utterly mentally exhausted I am by it all not to mention thoroughly bloody bored by my stupid predictably shit body Any sign of AF your end yet?

gin and sarlat how are you lovely ladies doing? I still can't believe it and am so thrilled for you both.

Well I have missed loads of you so send generalised love and waves

X-posted

mrsd Lucky number 7 What a wonderful result. Hope you are feeling okay.

madness Fab scan result. You must be relieved. Not long now for EC at all!

Nelly ? it does only take one and of course none of my business but i think going for ivf is going to give you the best chance and considering you have got this far. I am sorry you are feeling meh. I know exactly what you mean about hearing other success stories as my mum keeps saying to me ?miracles do happen you know? and my answer is always, ?yes but to other people mum?.

Mrsd ? best of luck today!

Gin ? i have everything crossed for you this week. i hope you are bearing up with the wait. Your story does give great hope!

Sar ? we always think it?s just about getting that bfp, if we could just get that. And then it happens and a new wave of anxiety and paranoia sweeps over you. it?s incredibly stressful. But you?re doing well. Trust your body and trust nature. That?s all you can do. And hopefully that first scan will be come round quickly for you.

Mad ? that?s great news and you have a great number brewing. I?m glad you are feeling more positive. Go mad.

Buzz ? i?m impressed with your knicker drawer . 53 is an amazing amount!

Critter - i hope the stabbing is going ok and hope you and Euro had a good chinwag.

Lemon ? getting pissed and eating fish sounds fun. Well done for helping build a crib though. Gaa!

Rabbit ? i think once you have dates and a plan in place you will feel better. I understand that feeling though. I feel strange too with nothing really in the pipeline and not knowing what we are going to do.

Fizz and 3littlebirds ? welcome and i hope you don?t have to stay here for very long.

we were at a very kiddy wedding this weekend. Nothing like women around my age who already have 4 kids to make sub-fertility hit home like a tonne of bricks. Why do I always feel so inadequate when I chat to people my age with kids? I am never sure whether it?s my own insecurity or whether a lot of new mums & dads do have a proud attitude, slightly too pleased with themselves. They can?t possibly have anything to say to you because you don?t have kids. Perhaps it was just the people who were on my table though and I think I am uber prickly about the kid thing.

Thanks pout. And thanks everyone for the good wishes it means a lot. The law here is strict re. Embryos. No selection is allowed. So if any do fertilise they will be put back on we'd. We've asked for two.

joycep I think your advice to rabbits is spot on. Getting the ball rolling with a treatment plan and rough dates will provide a lift. In some ways the months waiting for IVF is the worst in terms of limbo land.

Oh I hear you on the kiddie wedding thing. The last wedding I was at I was sat on the ONLY table with children not helped by a family member deciding it would be a great time to discuss my infertility with the opening gambit of "somethings just aren't mean't to be" Fabulous I just felt like I had nothing in common with the parents and nothing to say and they had nothing to say to me. I don't know about you but I also always feel like I am eyed with suspicion when interracting with their children like I am some kind of freak.