TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

[GinSoaked]

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

Morning lovelies!

I am just not keeping up with the thread (and work and sleeping). So ultra-quickly.

WOW and HURRAH and I so hope all goes very well for you, sar. Keeping everything crossed.

Hurrah for AF as well, joy. Hope you can get on the wagon soon again.

Here no news, IUI cycle clashed to badly with some work commitments so I am still in the waiting game. Fairly frustrating since we've had two IUI cycles since the MC last Sept, and that was IT. Well, a cancelled because the flu one and a we can't fit you in one and two missed ones due to amazing hols but I am ready to get diffed again. I would have been/could have been thinking a lot 10 days til MC EDD.

Waves and tail feathers a lot as well!!

Morning all.

Wrote a long name checking post then realised i had accidentally used a real name . Will come back later to replace it.

Have a good Thursday everyone!

I did wonder about the deleted post, madness. I always worry I've done that.

Euro, get a kitten! Go on do it, I loved that kitten rescue thread. I love kittens, everyone should have one. Seriously, it is so nice to have a cat curled up on you, purring and snuffling.

Joy, yay to normal karotyping. What's the next step now? Do you gat a follow up at your clinic? I agree with others that your friend doesn't sound very nice. That was a very bitchy thing to say to you and shows she doesn't get it. Things like this make you reevaluate friendships. I would love the complete Beatrix potter, I can't believe you weren't thanked for that. My presents weren't nearly as lovely as that, but I did take time to choose them which for me is a big thing because it means hanging out in the baby store.

I took the first dose of cetrotide this morning, I wasn't given a time just told in the morning. It was fine. Do you think I'll have to take it up to ec? I have a scan tomorrow afternoon.

Buzzy, is it the drugs making you feel like this? Or the enormity of ivf? I'm feeling a little bit anxious, like what am I doing? Do I really want to go through all this, do I really want a baby after all? I'm also finding it difficult to concentrate. Yesterday I day dreamed through the afternoon, my productivity has definitely gone down.

A little boy doll! That's soooo exciting, even if it was an accidental find out. Little doll with love having a little playmate :) Hope you are feeling ok.

mrsd yes you'll have to take cetrotide until the trigger shot. I think you asked about working after EC? There is no way I could have done anything that evening. The wounds and the old ovaries were ver sore and my short term memory was shot from the sedation. They also say you should have someone with you 24 hours after sedation. But I don't know how representative my ECs were and as you all know, mine weren't the greatest.

nellie when's your next scan? Don't give up hope - doll's story shows it only take 1 or 2 eggs. You just need to get the lucky egg! The fact you had such a great fertilisation rate shows they were of excellent quality I reckon.

madness I did read your post but thought you were using a pseudonym! Hope you are doing ok. Having had your hormones switched off for so long, I'm not surprised things are taking a little while to get going.

buzz big hugs. Not long until your wonderful win a baybee holiday :) I think you'll feel better once you have some oestrogen in you.

A kitten euro?! My sister just got 2 grey ones and keeps sending me envy inducing pics of them looking cute, the bitch. Hurrah for deadline being over. Hope you can actually rest now. Your work's bloody lucky to have you.

joy I can't believe your friend said that to you. What a beatch. She probably thought she was being funny, urgh. Pleased to hear af has reappeared and that the karotype test were all ok. I think this bodes well for your next go. I still can't believe how brave and strong you and euro have been.

lemons it must be v frustrating not being able to fit in the iui. I've found it difficult to manage work around appointments. Will the timing work for next month?

critter is today stims day?! Good luck honey! Are you doing gonal f?

Hope you are doing ok sar.

Waves to pout, sea, grouch, cosmos, rabbit and everyone else.

I'm feeling pretty shitty today, with an awful headache. I've crumbled and taken some paracetamol, which is probably a bad thing to do I really want magic migraine pills. i appear to have every diffed symptom going, which makes me think it's all in my head. The scan is booked for a week today, so at about 6 and a half weeks. Am scared stiff!

Gin, I reckon symptoms are a good sign, it will be a long wait this week but worth it I'm sure.

Thanks for the info on ec and how you felt. I think I'm going to have to call in sick on the day. If it is Monday then I can't book it off in advance because it would be refused because of this event. What is transfer like? Will I need a day off for that too? I'm getting way ahead of myself, I don't even know of there will be anything to collect yet.

Did you follow the kitten rescue thread gin? Kittens and mummy cat in a wheelie bin, some kind Mnetters rescued them and they're in a cat shelter now in lewisham. I think all you London people should go get one
I am in no way a barren old cat lady

I hope my go get a cat comment didn't sound like a why don't you adopt comment

gin i figure it wasn't there long enough to do much damage. I've said enough on here to out myself anyway but figured best to remove it. paracetamol is fine. i hope it does the trick!

mrsd i am also lacking productivity.......

Anyone else had hot flushes while stimming? I had hoped they would stop by now. they are less frequent but it's really starting to get me down. i know lots of this has been more about the endo than ivf up until now but feels like my body has been hijacked forever. heaven help me if this has all been for nothing :(

Back to work!!

I haven't had a hot flush yet. I've done 6 days of stimming now. I haven't noticed any symptoms which makes me wonder if its working. The only thing is I get a funny taste in my mouth straight after I've injected, dh says it must be in my head but I swear I do.

mrsd transfer for me was just like a prolonged smear with some cow pressing on your very full bladder . I went straight back to work from the clinic and felt absolutely fine.

madness this has been such a long journey for you. You're on the home stretch now though! I've never stimmed so cannot help re: symptoms.

Oops, pressed post too soon.

Joy that's great news about the karotyping results.

mrsd I am seriously considering adopting a kitteh.

drizz how annoying re: timing.

I thought hot flushes were more a DR symptom? I was quite warm the other night though! Mrsd it is working as you have some big follies already! And I get barely any symptoms on a much higher dose. Everyone is different.

Joy yay for no karotyping problems. Onwards and upwards. I think you asked if my bleeding was heavy. It was weird - fast and plenty of it but thin and bright red. It's Tailing of at last but still there.

Euro did I miss the kitten comment? I have 3 cats which makes me barren cat lady already

Mad in your removed post you asked me a question about lining. Last time mine was quite thin at first scan but started to thicken normally thereafter.

Gin symptoms sound good. I am sure the waiting for the scan is very scary. How many stripy hobnobs have you indulged in?

Sar how are you?

Lemon I'm sorry about the imminent due date. How upsetting for you. I have a feeling it won't be long for you though.

Cosmos what news on the menkulling? which I just fuelled

Rabbit how are you?

Buzzy I am so sorry you have been down. DR can be very tough and this is a hugely emotional time as it is. You have done such an amazing job to pull yourself up to such a positive place; a little bit of a slip every now and again is ok. It will be worth it

I think please please don't let me be imagining it that my ovaries are doing a bit more now. Another pen arrived today to see me through till Mondays scan. I am finding this cycle less stressful as they aren't checking me very often and I'm not faffing with acu which appeared to do zilch for me. So far less appointments = far less stress. I just need to decide my fib for EC day. Technically I can have 5 days ivf leave but no way I'm telling my boss.

Lemon, i forgot to welcome you back. You were gone for ages. Sounds like you had an amazing time. That?s annoying you have only had 2 iui since last Sep. Hopefully you?ll be able to get in a few more soon.

Mad ? i wondered what you had been up to last night , i am scared of doing that but also copying and pasting my name, mobile and work address as I copy from my iphone in to a post. I?m really sorry that you are still getting hot flashes, it could just be everything kicking in to action. What a rotten experience for you and sorry you are feeling so shit.

Mrsd ? i?m booked in for a follow up appt in 3 weeks. I?m currently putting together a super long list of questions for the embryologists and main dude at the clinic which I will email over next week. I want to know everything from egg and sperm quality to why there weren?t many blastos. I want to know whether our ivf actually has given them an idea as to what our problem is as well. Are we dealing with bad luck or something bigger?
I had all the same anxieties as you. As my stomach when completely black from the stabbing, I kept saying to myself do i really want a baby this much. I then would think about myself with an actual baby and for some reason the thought made me shudder. Not sure why- the thought of the responsibility and feeling too immature and the worry of the pregnancy perhaps. Also, i admire anyone who can concentrate through ivf especially after EC when that pressure cooker seems to go up a notch. I took the day off for ET just because i didn?t know the time until the actual day. It is like a very long smear. The most unpleasant bit for me was desperately trying not to wee.

Gin ? symptoms of diffness is excellent news but sorry that?s it?s making you feel crap. Out of interest in your first ivf, did you have anything to freeze? Or did you just have a 2 embie transfer? Trying to work out whether each ivf cycle can really differ that much or whether it?s much for much likeness. [searches for hope]

Nelly ? i?m glad your ovaries feel like they are doing something. I must say I didn?t feel anything whilst stimming. I only did acu once after ET as that is suppose to help the womb relax and not contract. Anyway it?s good you feel less stressed. Hurrah.

All you stimmers are doing amazingly well. You should be proud of yourselves. I?m holding the nauseating baby on board badges and am ready to dish ?em out. Don?t forget to drink plenty of water and milk if you can stomach it. Plus plenty of good protein and veg.

Just popping on quickly to say I have had my appointment - it lasted all of 2 minutes. We can go again in May. She said we could have tried again this month, but as I am away over what would be EC time, May it is. Mr euro was 2 mins late and didn't even make it into the room! At least they waived the charge. They'll be getting another £3k out of us soon, so I guess they'll do all right.

euro really glad your appointment went well. May will be here before you know it - it's great that you'll be getting back on the horse so soon.

madness I saw your post yesterday before I went to bed and was worried, I thought you sounded quite down. This is a really hard process, it is perfectly ok to go to bed at 7 and shut oneself away... it makes sense that you might want to 'go to ground' a bit like an animal of some sort that is dealing with stress. It's bloody stressful. You are getting through it and that is fantastic and something to be proud of. And hopefully you'll be out the other side soon. I can totally understand the anxiety and the conflicting emotions. It sucks that you're getting hot flushes too - sounds like your body is just being buffeted by hormones. But - this won't last much longer. You just have to keep going, and do whatever it takes to stay sane and comfortable in the meantime. A massive hug to you - wish I could give you a hug in real life!

den I am so glad you said that you are having worries about 'do I really want to do this' too... I am - I mean I am desperate for a baby on the one hand but panicking on the other. Talk about a rollercoaster. I also agree that it's hard to concentrate during this process. It's so all encompassing that it is impossible to think about anything else.

gin sorry you're feeling rotten. The nurse at my clinic told me paracetamol was the best painkiller to use during IVF and early pregnancy - so it sounds like you did the right thing. I can imagine this time is going very slowly and that you're terrified until your scan. Hand hold.

lemon I am so sorry about the impending ue date. That is very distressing and I can imagine it would feel awful. Could you light a candle or do something nice to mark the day? And I am sorry that you've only had two IUIs in the past few months, you must feel very low and ready to get moving. But - your IVF is really soon - it's just 8 weeks away that you start - and I have high hopes for a spring 2014 lemonette.

nelly great that you're feeling ovary twangs. I agree on the no acu - I know a lot of people find it helpful and relaxing but I just found it expensive and frustrating. I would rather get a massage or a blow dry to help with the old self-esteem!

buzzy hang in there my love. I am thinking of you! I know you're really struggling with the drugs.

High fives to the rest of the awesome foursome and all the other lovely 10 plussers. I had my first scan with my doctor there (instead of a nurse) today and should start perioding soon - the clinic said they'd call me later to let me know whether I start stimms tonight or tomorrow. I was a bit annoyed because my insurance at work has just changed (sod's law that it would happen mid-IVF cycle) and the clinic (who'd originally told me it was fine) made a bit of a fuss about getting pre-authorisation from the new health insurance company in advance of the cycle... it should be fine, but it's a bit stressful. Hopefully just a storm in a teacup and the new insurance company will shell out! I am flying to the Ozarks tonight so will be out of the loop this weekend - will check in with you all on Monday. Tail feather fluffs all round.

Euro I was thinking if I don't get many eggs I might push for natural, but actually my cycle costs about that minus the drugs so I will stick with this for now! Are you going natural again or thinking mild? As we've been discussing on here, symptoms of stimming vary but other than one headache and being a bit more sweary than normal I barely notice. SP might be an option for you if you wanted to up the odds a little? Having said that I recall you were keen to avoid moral dilemmas about spare eggs/embies so maybe you'd rather not. I wonder what has happened to me. Unlike most of you I have never baulked at the drugs in my fridge, never worried about the unromantic nature of ivf, never considered any of the moral aspects. I'm emotionally unattached I think though I have long since disconnected TTC and AC with an actual baby. I had a moment today where I suddenly imagined doing what I was doing (just making a coffee), but with a baby in the house. It was a bit freaky anyway I am glad you have a plan to go again. Have a safety shag or two this cycle though. Just saying

Cross post Critter. These things have a way of working themselves out I've found. Good luck for stimming, what are the Ozarks??

Joy I had a 3 day out of date innocent veg pot for lunch, and have upped my milk intake via decaf lattes and hot chocolates. I am trying to use the keep warm advice so having lemon and ginger tea too, but avoiding cold drinks unless with my meal. I haven't been paying enough attention to protein intake though. Thanks for the reminder!

Joy ? Great news about AF and normal karyotyping. Like others I am shocked how insensitive your friend was about your TTCing. I do think it?s hard to truly understand unless you have been through it yourself but it?s no excuse. It makes perfect sense to have a list of questions ready for the follow up meeting. You sound v organised. I hope you get some answers. Although I haven?t been through IVF yet. I know exactly what you mean about shuddering sometimes about really wanting a baby and feeling too immature and worried about the responsibility of it all. I feel exactly the same.

Sar ? how are you feeling today? Hope all is going well. Still happy from your news.

Gin ? Sorry to hear you have a headache and feeling shitty. Hope it subsides soon. I?m so happy for your news. It?s natural to be scared after all this? but exciting too no? Hope you feel much better soon.

Buzzy ? Im so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Although I haven?t been through IVF I think it?s quite natural to feel this way. It?s a huge thing the AC journey.

Doll ? So exciting but sorry you found out like this (especially if you didn?t want to know) A little boy! Yay! BTW, I love Beirut. Such an amazing city! Went there a few years ago. Had a lot of fun.

Critter ? Very jealous re your Miami trip. I have a v good friend who lives there and would love to go out there to visit but upcoming IVF means I have to hold off on any foreign travels. Hope the stimming is going well.

Lemon ? Hope you had a lovely hols. Hope you get on another IUI cycle v soon.

Cosmos ? we haven?t "met" before. I read your history with interest. I was wondering if you ever had immunes done in your TTC history. Did you do a pregnancy test? It would be great to have that BFP after your journey. I really hope you get it.

Mrsd ? Hope the stimming is going well. And you are feeling well. I love love cats and would love to get a kitten but Mr Sea won?t allow it. I can only get a cat once I have a baby he says.

Madness - Sorry about the hot flushes. I don?t know anything unfortunately but hope they go away for you soon. Fingers crossed it will all be worth it. Sorry you are feeling down. Big hand hold.

I was wondering why your post was deleted? I forget some of you have met in RL. Was it strange to meet in RL? I don?t know why but I always think there must be someone I know in RL on this thread?

Nelly ? I know what you mean about detaching AC with an actual baby. I think I feel the same sometimes.

Waves to everyone else. x

nelly the Ozarks are a beautiful mountain range in Arkansas and southern Missouri, in the southern/midwest of the US. They are super rural and have a reputation for housing banjo-strumming hillbilly redneck types. People here have raised an eyebrow when I tell them I'm going!

You are my hero for not stressing about the unromantic/ethical/clinical stuff. I wish I didn't worry about it! I mean I am doing it anyway, might as well not panic about it all!

joy I meant to say earlier that putting a list together sounds like a really good plan. I always forget what I want to ask. I'm sure you have a lot of questions and it would be good to have them answered thoroughly. I wish I could magic up a 'Dr Tubes' type who could go through it all with you. And I wish they explained this stuff as a matter of course!

sea the only person I have meant IRL here is the lovely jetsetting euro... but one day I hope to be over for a UK meet up. It's great that you have a friend in Miami - maybe you'll be able to get out there for a visit after your cycle. Did you set a date for it yet?

Critter - No date for IVF yet. I am on a cycle monitoring cycle at the mo and will have mid cycle scan & immunes done next week. Results will take 3 weeks. FSH was okay. I m guessing IVF will be June unless there is something wrong and they need to treat me for a few cycles first. No plans for overseas travel until I know what's going on.
Ozarks sounds beautiful. I did a Californian road trip a while ago and really want to do another US road trip. Thinking of NYC up to New England and then Canada but again no plans until I know what is going on.

critter have you seen Winter's Bone?

Go stimmers go.

buzzy I hope you are holding up.

Hay ladies

I am on the train coming back from the big smoke so can't post much. Have been reading and my heart goes out to all the ivfers at this uncertain time. Delighted that joy got AF and good test results back. Welcome backs lemons, sorry this is being dragged out. Euro so pleased the plan is in place. Gin it's great that the scan is booked but I totally g get the fear.

All is ok here but no symptoms. Shock has been replaced with fear of mc. Getting early scan to check for ectopic is turning in to a faff as surgery don't know the procedure. However I do like being outside of previous clinics grasp.

Luffs and waves from the train.

Tight squeeze to sar - I hope you get some reassurance. Sea a road trip sounds brilliant. You could go leaf peeping! New England is meant to be stunning in the autumn.... Doll I haven't seen winters bone but doesn't it have meth addicts in it? Should I be afraid?!!! :-)

It's very early for symptoms Sar. Open heart remember . I am keeping everything crossed for you, and Gin too of course.

What is Winters bone?

Doll I still grin when I think of your mad ivf working . Hope you are well.

Thank you lovely ladies for your lovely words. Being able to moan on here means that I'm able to moan less to MrM for which he is eternally grateful!

I'm feeling better tonight critter and your virtual hug has helped :) Good luck with starting stimming on your exciting trip to the back of beyond xx

nelly hot flushes are a downregging symptom. I just wondered if anyone else continued to have them on the stims. I really think my body is struggling to get going again. I think the flushes are tailing off, but definitely still happening. At their peak at the end of the downregging phase I was getting them at least once an hour. I get all red and sweaty (pouring down my chest sometimes) and it just generally makes me feel out of control. That aside, it really helps to know that I'm not the only one to progress slowly and to panic unnecessarily. I really hope that your ovaries are getting going. you know that you got eggs last time and you will again.

sar try to stay calm and have faith in yourself. You are young and healthy and lots of people have a miscarriage and go on to have healthy and uneventful pregnancies. You will be okay and you have all of our positive thoughts to back you up.

sea it was actually a name from my life, not from here. I haven't actually met any of these lovelies in rl, although I keep dropping hints about a north of the border meet up sometime. Your road trip sounds a great idea. I recommend heading north to Canada and can give lots of suggestions for Toronto or the East Coast .

mrsd I second whoever said that you have no reason to worry. You had a positive scan and things are progressing. Good luck with the next scan. You will be our first to get to EC I reckon.

joy name and address or email would be awful to post on here! I just wasn't thinking as I typed. I am so pleased that your results have come back normal. Well done for coming up with a list for the docs. I always forget what I want to say in the heat of the moment.

Must go to bed but I know that I have missed loads of you. Big waves to lemon, gin, doll, rabbit, fizz, cosmos, buzzy and euro. Roll on Friday!!