TTC 10 + months, part 14 (eek)

[GinSoaked]

A friendly, supportive thread for lovely ladies taking waaay longer than they ever expected to win their babies

Ah lovely Joy, I'm glad you said that as I often think about you too! If I have a down moment where I'm feeling really rubbish about myself for being in this situation, I think about you lovely, beautiful, great girls I met in October and it makes me feel so much better! Thanks for saying that you think its impossible not to mental - i think i feel i ought to be moving on if that makes sense. I have the feeling even my best friends who i have moaned to for years about this are having a few 'really, are you still on about this?' thoughts in the last year or so (only cos they want me to be happy I'm sure). And of course you must be worried - you must just want to get things started again to know where you are and that everythings ok, which i'm sure it will be. i've heard lots of stories of it taking a while to settle back down, there must be lots of different hormone levels that need to adjust themselves. I know what you mean about GP's - you're probably a better judge than her! About the Dr and the anti-b's, I'm not really sure if they worked or not tbh - i never did go back for a check to see if my cervix had settled down - all the tests came back as negative. the bleeding between my periods has continued, though i did see Princess's nutritionist at one point and her take was it could be thyroid type issue.

Very busy here today

Den -the scan and slight dose increase sound spot on. I don't think you will have problems getting to ec. Sorry about work stress and appointments.

Nelly -it is great that you were reassued about the spotting today. There is still time for 1 or 2 more follies and the hidey left ovary could be linning them up. Keep positive my sweet. You will get to ec.

Joy - I am sorry for the delayed af stress, I agree with others that your body needs to heal. But I 100% understand the frustration of wanting things to get back to normal. Wait and see how you feel when af does arrive. If you are still concerned about ashermans then you could request a hsg to check it out. In the mean time you are numer 1 priority, ahem spa day????

Sea -goodness what a shock about your friend. Tight hugs, pour self glass of wine tonight. This time next week, you wont care.

Madness- I was a slow starter. It is such a worrying time. You do have follies, having lots isn't always a guarentee, yours are being nutured in their lovely ovaries and likley to be good quality.
Stay focused, this can happen for you.

Cosmos -so lovely to hear from you. Sounds like time away from menkulling was really nice. I have fingers and toes crossed for you.

Critter - any updates on miami vice? I love the fact that you worked out my due date. Xxx

Cosmos - just read your last post, I think its sad your freinds had that attitude. What you feel is what you feel. You are entitled to menkul or not as often as you like or not. There is no cut off, interesting perspective from the nutritionalist. Well it seemed to help princess......

Thank you for all the lovely messages and thanks to the grads for calling in too. Miss you all. I have had very mild periody pains and mild fatigue. Nothing major and likley in my head. But this is very different from last pregnancy. Chumba has been very quiet and calm, think he might be in shock. Had to tell my boss about the bfp this morning as couldnt believe my luck when my caseload consisted of 70% norovirus. However she was ecstatic. This does make the tupe at work more complex for me. I will need to hide it from new bosses so they don't manipulate my maternity terms and conditions before the tupe is finished.

It is still early days and no way am i getting ahead of myself. Still doesn't feel real at all. I am seeing my gp today which seems ridiculously early but because of the ectopic risk I have to initiate an early scan myself at the epau as I am not within the fertilitu clinic system now.

Waves to all.

joy I'm sorry that you have this worry. My period came but has been odd - clotty and floody and for one day worse than the mc itself. I guess it just takes a while to get things back to normal.

sea that was quite some announcement! Hope you and Mr sea are ok.

mrsd I think you'd have to play the event by ear. My experience is not wholly representative as I only had 2 eggs removed, so my ovaries didn't get that much of a battering. I had no pain afterwards but felt tired and spacey from the drugs. I could have gone somewhere by the evening if I had had to, but I didn't particurly want to move. Mr euro's brother was in London that day and came round and that was fine. Happy stimming!

madness the slow start really isn't surprising with such a long time down regging.

nelly slow and sure is good. Read yourself the story of the tortoise and the hare.

cosmos sorry to hear about the mentalling. It really can't be easy to go back to blissful ignorance about where in your cycle you are! AFM, my current theory is that we have mild male factor combined with a not very friendly environment. Mr euro's count has been dropping with each test and whereas I used to produce loads of EWCM, since about 8 months into ttc, it seems to have disappeared! It's just a theory but my eggs grow fine, egg/swimmer met and fertilised fine, embie implanted, so it's what I am going with for now. I've no reason to think there is a tubal problem. Other than about 2 lifetime bouts of thrush, I've never had any infections/fungal (eugh) ishoos down there.

sar I'm still grinning for you.

My deadline has finally been hit, so I have been starting to get my life back today! My hair has been cut and coloured and I'm making headway on the mess that is my inbox! Taking Mr euro out for a bite to eat later. I haven't seen much of him for a while!

Nice to hear from you cosmos but sorry you haven't been able to escape mentalling. i don't think anything short of a hysterectomy could stop me from wondering if i was pregnant! I also worry about my friends tiring of this discussion....

sea that is a properly annoying announcement. they barely even know each other. MrM and i just celebrated the 11th anniversary of our first date. in any other circumstance a really lovely thing.

Is it feeling more real Sar? I too think the lap will have done the trick. You have become one of those stories that people tell to give us barrens hope :) I hope that i am just a slow starter. the nurse was trying really hard to reassure me but Monday feels ages away. will have to keep busy this weekend to distract myself.

Phone is being very temperamental so will post now and pop back later when i get home.

X post

new hair and time with MrEuro sounds ideal.

sar glad your boss was happy for you :)

Cosmos ? i am convinced people are tired of me harping on. They do ask though which tends to set me off. My closest friend even told me last year when drunk that she had told her mum sarcastically she could look forward to a weekend talking about fertility when she came to stay with me. I was a bit miffed as it basically demonstrated that people don?t get it, even nearest and dearest. I never went back to the doc either. I?m sorry if i sent you on a wild goose chase. The frustration of being unexplained tends to send me on goose chases. I?ve been convinced i?ve found the answer many times. Out of interest, have you and MrCosmos decided no more AC ever again?

Sar ? you don?t want to be dealing with norovirus stuff whilst pregnant. Hope it?s all sunk in.

Euro ? my periods after previous m/c were terrible. Incredibly clotty and heavy ? nothing like i had had before. After 4 months of this i went to my GP and they referred me for a scan but all was normal. I then discovered acupuncture and it seemed to sort the clots and heaviness out. Also the consultant said to me this time that I should expect the first period to be different - clotty and painful. Bring it on please, i?m ready for it now!

joy what a total b*tch. I can't believe your friend would say that. Talk about selfish. Can you imagine if you had something else that was as upsetting you as much as subfertility and she said something sarcastic and mean about having to talk to you about it? Argh, the rage!

cosmos It's lovely to see you back here and sorry for the mentalling. Did you get your thyroid checked in the end?

madness oh I am sorry you're having such a rough time and feeling crap. For what it's worth I remember when I was stimming last summer the nurse said I didn't have a good response after several days of gonal f and I cried and cried. It all actually ended up fine with lots of follies in the end. Things can change really fast. You've been downregging for ages, it would make sense that your body needs time to readjust. Also, your hormones must be totally out of whack right now - you can't underestimate the effect that has on your emotions. Tight squeeze, be kind to yourself and have faith. You will get there!

euro one week til our date! Here's hoping the weather is lovely and we can sit on a roofdeck and have a chinwag. Hurrah for swishy hair. Always such a boost. Your next cycle is just around the corner now - I have such high hopes for you.

den slow and steady wins the race! Sorry about the lack of thanks on the gifts. That is always a bit galling.

nelly glad the doc isn't concerned about the bleeding. Your body clearly just doesn't like to be bossed about! Come on little follies, grow grow grow!

sea sorry about the announcement - it's always a horrible sicky feeling.

sar glad you don't think me looking up your due date was weird. I'm just thrilled for you. I really, really am. You've had such a shitty time and such a low recently and it's just pure joy that this has happened and your patience has finally paid off.

rabbit the Rabbit Fertility clinic sounds great. I've got your slogan: 'Breed like a Bunny at Rabbit's Fertility Clinic'... What do you think?

gin how are you feeling lovely? When's your first scan?

buzz hope you're doing ok on the drugs.

Doctor says it's ok to go to Miami so I'll be doing two trips involving domestic flights in the next ten days - the Miami one and my poetry weekend in deepest darkest rural southern Missouri. Feeling very jet set. I'm actually really excited to start stimming... tonight is my last BCP! and then it's sayonara to the downregging phase!

helllooo wow busy on here, here to rally the stabbers, slow is difficult to deal will while you are in it but it's not telling regarding the outcome and that's the main thing. Lots of love nelly den and madness

Lovely to see you cosmos and sorry you have announcements and nonsense from friends sea and joy

I have an announcement of my own 'It's a Boy!' Yes ladies just in case you were missing my tales of middle eastern IVF, I have now found out the sex by accident. You couldn't make it up. Innocently reading gmails at work and one of them was a lab report from the hospital with this information contained within. It's just not what you expect is it? I must say I have been dealing with a bunch of muppets with a host of testing fuck ups this is just the icing on the cake. Doesn't matter, but HONESTLY.

Doll you would think your tales would no longer surprise me, but they still do! Only thing is - can you tell the sex this early? Maybe pick some girls names too, just in case . Congratulations though!!

Joy you do receive some odd "support" from some of your friends. Critter said it - what a bitch. I hope your period turns up soon, and isn't too horrible.

Critter hooray for the end of DR. I am surprised you say you we're so down when you were on the gonal f before, but only because you didn't say. I'm more and more in awe of the ability many of you have to quietly process problems away from here. I immediately come on and demand help . I am also

Euro sorry that AF is being a bitch. But the meeting of the deadline is great news and how exciting you are seeing Critter soon.

Sorry pressed post by accident. Critter I was saying I was jealous of Miami, I love it there. We have a go-to restaurant now .

Mad I know how you must be feeling but I am sure it will be ok. I'm not sure if you we're around when I did my last cycle in November? At my first scan there was zilch an E2 was barely on the scale. They told me to cancel. I disagreed. I got 3 eggs. All fertilised and 2 went back as very good quality embies. I have a low AMh so I was delighted with 3 eggs and it did seem to be the case that it was quality over quantity. Of course I didn't get pregnant but I'm sure it was just bad luck

Dinner is ready. Waves to everyone else including cosmos

joy what an awful thing for your friend to say. Mine don't appear to be bored. They have either gone through it themselves or seem to be slightly mawkishly over-interested. Whatever their motivation, some "get it" more than others, but they have all been lovely and supportive.

critter yes, it's this time next week. Incidentally, I have a meeting late that afternoon to talk about my annual review. Seeing as they gave me no bonus and a below inflation payrise, it might be somewhat of a difficult meeting. Would you mind if we went somewhere I could have a glass of wine in case I need it after that? And apologies in advance if I bang on about it!

Happy stimming and jetsetting!

nelly I also admire the more stoic on here - I like to mental among others. :)

doll is that right? I thought they couldn't tell before 16 weeks and you must only be around 12? Middle Eastern IVF does seem to be a bit, erm, interesting though!

Have you had a cvs or amnio doll? I thought that was the only way to tell at this stage, by analysing the chromosomes.

sea sorry about the A+ announcement, i'm not a great believer in accidental pregnancies, careless yes, that is how ex Mr Buzzy ended up with the new Mrs Buzzy.

doll what is you didn't want to know, I am surprised that they can tell at this stage, its usually at your 20 week scan when they um have a look

critter yay to stimming and poetry retreats :)

joy Like others have said your body has been through so much over the last few weeks and it will take some time for things to settle down, it took 5 weeks for mine to return.

euro glad you have time to yourself now after meeting your deadline. Hope you get some answers on Thursday

madness it is still early days so try not to worry

nelly and mrsd glad your scans went well and the linings are looking good.

sar make sure they take good care of you at work

gin have you been given a date for your scan

cosmos it is always lovely to see you

Well I feel like I am catching my patients dementia as my memory is so poor and I am forgetting all sorts of things, some of it important, I feel I am struggling to focus on anything and kind of feel adrift from everything around me, I kind of feel I don't really belong anywhere so I think I need a bit of time to myself

critter forgot to say yesterday good luck for the start of the stimming and I'm super regarding Miami. I must say the place seems so weird to me I kind of want to go and check it out (never been obviously).

Sorry for the confusion on sexgate, the clue was in 'lab report' rather than scan. mrsden is on the money as usual, 'twas the initial results following cvs. Not finding out in general would be super hard work to avoid here and I wasn't intending to put that work in so I would have found out at some point. In fact a friend of mine here was told that she was having a boy at a scan around 12 weeks and that boy turned into a girl at around 16, so you are right nelly it's certainly not clear that early.

Have a lovely day all.

Yay to a baby brother for little doll. I bet he'll make a fab big brother. It's a shame ths was the way you found out but nothing about our journeys s usual. It's wonderful though x

Ah, you hadn't mentioned you'd had a CVS doll. Well, it'll be very lovely to have a little brother for little doll. I hope you are doing ok despite the slightly "Swiss Tony" medical system over there.

buzzy that feeling sounds familiar. Downregging is really, really tough. Make sure you look after yourself.

I made it into the office with surprising ease this morning (I work about 100 yds from St Paul's). No buses and eerily quiet, but fine. It was rather odd to see about 30 soldiers in full ceremonial uniform and bearskins standing outside the Costa a few doors down though.

Doll ? i still haven?t worked out where ?here? is but fancy the report spilling the beans. Humph but that will be wonderful for little doll. What is a cvs? I?m sure I should know....My friend found out at 20wks she was having a girl but she gave birth to a boy. It would seem even that late they can get it wrong.

Buzz ? are you downregging at the mo is that why you are feeling out of sorts? I?m sorry you are feeling like this, the build up to ivf does propel you in to some weird parallel universe. I hope you get to find some time to yourself.

Critter ? yay to your Miami trip and hurray at starting stimming.

Euro ? what happened to your friend who was doing ivf at the same time as you? Did it work for her?

Yes, I must say i?ve had all sorts of comments and ?support? along the way but i?m sure everyone has. I?m good at shrugging off stuff at the time but can find myself stewing about it, a year later

joy here is Beirut. Common knowledge The CVS is Chorinic Villus Sampling - a bit like an amnio but can be done earlier, they hang out looking at chromosomes of which these were 'male pattern'.

doll how annoying about finding out the sex without any preamble or decision on your part! But a little boy will be lovely, especially for little doll - just gorgeous. Happy days ahead indeed. I remember my friends here who did IVF saying their doctor said he knew the sex from the get-go but didn't tell them - they found out at 20 weeks and did a super-cheesy (but also quite awesome) cake reveal party where they took a scrap of paper with the sex written on it to a bakery and asked the bakery to make a cake with pink or blue icing inside, then cut into it together at a party with their parents and brothers and sisters. I know that sort of thing is considered naff by many but they're such a lovely couple and it was a really sweet story.

euro of course, of course! Wine will be had. On a breezy roof deck, preferably. I have lots of places in mind! It's getting warm here and there is still blossom, and even more lovely, the dogwood trees are blooming - they are such a lovely Southern sight. I was wondering what you were talking about with the bearskins and then remembered it is Thatcher's funeral today. No news about it here in the US, everyone is still talking about the Boston marathon.

nelly now I want to know what the Miami restaurant is. I am flying there in the morning and leaving the same night, so it isn't an overnight trip - sob! My mini meltdown last summer was when the nurse told me I wasn't responding to the gonal f and I had a panic that I wasn't going to be able to produce any eggs ever and that it was curtains. I mentioned my fear here and everyone made me feel much better. And then it turned out to be alright anyway! It's a funny old process, this, with lots of bumps along the way.

sar hope your GP appointment went well.

joy I would be stewing about that comment too. It really suggests a lack of empathy and kindness. I feel like you've had a particularly unsupportive group of friends, what with the scan picture being sent and various other incidents. I am annoyed for you. You deserve better than this!

den hope the stabbing is going ok and it's great that your lining is doing well. Did you say that you go in for your next scan on Monday? I am rooting for you!

buzzy I was sorry to see your post last night - I am sorry you're feeling adrift. For what it's worth, you have been so strong over the past months and it makes sense that you would be feeling worried and listless - there is so much pressure during the build-up to IVF, and when you throw in the bittersweet emotions about DE too, it's all a huge amount to process. I definitely found myself struggling to focus during the weeks before starting stabbing. I think it will get easier the closer that you get to going to Brno. I think you're amazing, by the way. I really do. You have been so courageous during all of this.

Waves to gin, art, rabbit, lemon, pout, fizz, madness, sweet, sea and all other posters, grads and lurkers.

Doll I must have known that you lived in Beirut.

Well Aunt Flo has arrived. I just danced in the loos as I am so pleased to see her . I think the big sign of Ashermans is your period not turning up so I'm hoping I am fine yippee

Thank you critter! I am looking forward to it.

joy my friend's IVF was unsuccessful.

doll I hope that everything came back clear on the CVS so the only bad consequence is finding out the sex a bit earlier than planned!

It's unusual that we celebrate the arrival of AF on this thread, but "Hurrah"!

Sorry about your friend Euro.

My other piece of good news is that our karotyping has come back normal.

joy yay for normal karotyping and for AF! That must be a huge relief for you. I am so glad that things are settling down and I'm sure this will help you to move forward with more optimism. I second euro's hurrah for AF!