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The big fat posifrickintivity, but only on a friday thread - TTC after MC and not lose your head

980 replies

Mummytothearkbuilder · 12/03/2013 23:35

Ladies - a brand new lovely shiny thread for us to fill! Enjoy x

OP posts:
SpanishLady · 13/03/2013 16:27

I agree with Ibelieve - lets face it you are likely to feel anxious when pregnant again anyway - I didnt know I was ovulating (in fact thought I already had and so was 'safe') when I dtd after my MC and now Im pregnant again I always have this nagging fear at the back of my mind that I try to ignore that its going to happen again - bet I'd feel like that even if this was months after my MC - now I have experienced it is always present ):

If I lose this one I do wonder if two losses in such quick sucession would impact me greater then if I had had a break between the pregnancies but then I think the 'stress' of waiting to get pregnant again only to lose it woudl be a different blow - either way you look at it there are downsides.

whats your gut feeling?

SpanishLady · 13/03/2013 16:32

cross posts sorry!

re stress - I certainly dont want to downplay stress and its impact on pregnancy but the way I see it there must be people out there who are pregnant and under enormous stress and still carry to full term - what about pregnant drug addicts, pregnant women in developing countries who walk miles for water etc all examples of what we would consider less them optimum scenarios for pregnancy but they still have babies - if stress was such a factor then surely to goodness there would be alot more pregnancies failing as we all have stress in one way or another.

long way to say please dont fear your very understandable anxiety is going to impact a pregnancy - I wish I could switch of mine!

icklemssunshine1 · 13/03/2013 16:36

Thanks for the reply & words of wisdom. It's funny how we can give the advice but never take our own!

Congratulations on your pregnancy & here's wishing you all the love & luck in the world for a healthy, happy little bean :)

JBrd · 13/03/2013 16:37

icklem I also agree with IBelieve and Spanish - I think you'll be anxious in any case when you get pg next time! I know that that's the case for me. My EPRC was in January, and I am currently waiting for AF - there is a chance I could be pg now, and as much as I want it, at the same time it scares the hell out of me.
The sad truth is that once you've experienced the heartbreak of a mc, I don't think that you'll ever be able to relax and enjoy being pregnant, because you know what can happen...

But if you feel physically up for it, I'd say, take the plunge!
Good luck

alyant79 · 13/03/2013 17:13

I agree, think you'll be scared no matter what.
i can't even dtd yet, but the thought of getting a bfp scares me. I imagine being very excited but horribly scared and nervous at the same time. And sort of feeling a little bit sick from the conflicting emotions.

I reckon that I might get even worse if I left it longer.
Which is why the thought of getting a bfn scares me too. Which is why I keep reminding myself again and again that it's the most likely scenario since I'll be away all next week and i'm sure you are all sick of reading it too since i've written this here so many times

Thunderbuns · 13/03/2013 17:29

Quick question- Does anyone know if it's ok to take folic acid and levithyroxine together? Just started on the latter for hypothyroidism and need the drugs to get working ASAP!

Thunderbuns · 13/03/2013 17:31

I mean levothyroxine!

farmerwife · 13/03/2013 17:57

I was pointed to you and so glad I was. Hope its ok to join you all.

We have had 3 mc and 1 ectopic over last few years and now daring to ttc again. Today 4 days late but test negative and feeling neurotic as usual!!!! Nice to find a place to share!

GinAndSlimlinePlease · 13/03/2013 18:07

Can I join? Am very nervous Smile

ttc 2 years.
endo and low amh
referred for ivf 25 jan
bfp (natural) 29 jan
bleeding from 30 jan
6 week heartbeat 11 Feb
m/c confirmed 15 Feb Sad Sad Sad

Today - first day of no bleeding, finally.

so I'm just starting to think about ttc again. I'm not going to hang around, no waiting for first period malarkey.

If nothing happens, ivf in a few months.

That's me

(ps I'm really nervous about waiting years to get pregnant again and then losing another baby. I think I need a serious talking to!)

IBelieveInPink · 13/03/2013 18:36

Hi farmer and gin.
Nice to meet you both, although shitty circumstances.

Farmer- have you ha any investigations into causes?

Gin- if it helps, 6 months after mc are supposed to be super fertile. I hope your wait for your next BFP is not so long this time.

MrsSpencerReid · 13/03/2013 18:55

Thunder I do, you're not supposed to take the thyroxine too close to having milk/yog cos calcium can slow absorption, so I would take it as soon as you wake up then if you shower/get up etc by the time you have breakfast it should be ok, I think I was told 30min gap. Hope you notice a differenceSmile hello to all the newcomers and sorry you had to join us!
I am cd19 now, not even a faint line on the opk and I'm a 28day cycle girl, even when I stopped the pill I went straight into 28d cycle Hmm we've already dtd more in the last week than we did in the last 6 months!! We can't keep this up much longer!!

farmerwife · 13/03/2013 19:13

Thanks for the welcome.

Gin - I hope you get some better luck soon - its horrible!

Ibelieve - Yes I have had tests done - had to wait to fourth cos they wouldn't count the ectopic. I have an inverted chromosone - not treatable. I have 75% chance of mc in every pregnancy which is pretty crappy odds i know. The ectopic was just bad luck apparently.

Thunderbuns · 13/03/2013 19:21

Thank you mrs. Yeah I take it first thing, but also take my folic then too- id that ok do you know?

IBelieveInPink · 13/03/2013 19:22

Oh farmer. Wow. Well, the way I look at it is they say less than 25% chance of mc usually, and yet all of us are here. So that 25% must happen quite often and therefore your good one may come along just as often. I have everything crossed for you :)

(did that make sense? Brain still like cake!)

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 13/03/2013 19:35

glad you came over here. You'll like it. They're ^^ lovely.

ChocolateCremeEggBag · 13/03/2013 19:57

Wow late to the party again but found you all and loving the new Fred title!

Can someone please add me to the list as stupid iPad not playing ball tonight.

ChocolateCremeEggBag 1DS, MC in Dec, BFP WILL be here 10April (oh yes!)

Hello farmergirl, G&T & mrs Howard - sorry that you are here but lovely to have you.

Now should we be thinking of new names? Maybe with a Friday theme?

shellshock7 · 13/03/2013 20:11

Hi farmer and gin welcome but sorry to find you here...best of luck for quick BFPs Smile

PG after MC is just tough....I hated every scan with DS worked myself up into a stressed/crying mess for a coupla days before each one and worried abt every single little twinge...and I had PGP ha ha BUT posifrickintivity at the end of it all I got my DS and he was worth all the heartache and this baby...and your babies...will be too Smile

MrsSpencerReid · 13/03/2013 20:18

Thunder it's what I do and never been told its a prob and I have consultant led care so he should know! And is totally amazing and thorough in every other possible way Grin

BumpKitty · 13/03/2013 21:10

Hi all, just found you again and there's 3 pages to catch up on!

jmf I did sperm meets egg and it worked for us :) though actually we did 6 days in a row dtd instead of 3 Shock it very nearly finished DH off :)

spanish yy re time going slowly, I was sat in a meeting today thinking, 'I wonder what day I am at now', quick calculation 5+3, 'oh so one day further on than yesterday then' Confused Grin

I've been pretty stressed after a calm start, I kept having stretchy pains on my left hand side and convinced myself it was an ectopic pg. I also have a horrendous stomach bug so keep having stomach cramps and I read that that can be a sign of ectopic pg too. But... my DD has this awful virus that is going round and I have been changing very sloppy nappies so more likely to have caught something from her, and the side pains have gone now.

I'm off on holiday next week so have had to tell the friends we are going with - feels a bit odd but they would have guessed anyway with the no drinking, no spa, no water slides etc etc!

congrats lucky and welcome newbies :)

and good luck friday poasers Grin

SaggyOldClothCatpuss · 13/03/2013 21:18

Bump maybe you ought to get checked out just in case. The last thing you want is an ectopic.

alyant79 · 13/03/2013 21:49

Oooh some tears tonight. A good friend has just found out she's having a girl. I was meant to be only a few weeks behind so should have been having that scan myself soon. Instead I might get to poas. Boo :(
I feel like a horrible person that I can't just be happy for her.

Sorry for the self-indulgence :(

BirdsDoIt · 13/03/2013 21:51

Hello, can I join? Was on the October bus until this Monday when we went into epu because I'd had three days of light bleeding over the weekend. I should have been 10 or 11 weeks pregnant (got BFP about 7 weeks ago) but they dated me at 4/5 weeks and couldn't see a heartbeat - bleeding and cramps still going and although we have another scan on Tuesday to confirm, I'm sure it's a mc. It was my first pregnancy and the last few days have been very sad but with a lot of wonderful RL support, we are determined not to get too discouraged and carry on ttc once it's all over. Would really help I think to have you ladies to chat to.

icklemssunshine1 · 13/03/2013 21:53

Well swallowed my fear & DTD (fear about pregnancy, not DTD!!). Read into SMEP but feel exhausted just reading it! Prob could convince DH to do it though - he was v happy after DTD but I think that's as he found a couple of quid under his pillow (not from the tooth fairy, we hide things when DD comes into our bed!!). Anyway DH at work til late tomorrow so that puts tomorrow out, so I'm hoping for some fertile Friday luck!!

icklemssunshine1 · 13/03/2013 21:58

Hi Birds, I was on the Sept bus. Sorry for your loss. Been 3 weeks since my MMC & it's been a tough time, especially when I went through the hormonal crash, I really had some dark days then but now feel quite positive & looking to the future. The ladies on here are fab & will cheer you up. You sound quite positive but remember its okay to grieve, cry & scream too.

fod27 · 13/03/2013 21:59

Hey newbies!!!! We are all here to support you......,,guys...... Where's the posifrickintivity??

PMA, I think we should enjoy ttc, enjoy our pregnancies and accept the fact that there is sod all we can do about nature, it's out of our hands now ladies sooooo let's embrace the positive let go of the negative, look to the future and say Fuck You Mother Nature! You have already caused me and my family enough pain, I will not let you define me or rule my life orang longer!!!! It's onwards and upwards from here girls!!!!!

The above was said with love by the way....my intention is not to belittle our grief or atrocious experiences...just to inspire, uplift and motivate....xxxxxxxx

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