Oh blimey. Unexpected BFP at 45! What now?

[fatfloosie]

Last period was at Christmas. Was doing the no contraception thing to keep my younger partner happy as he would like another. Never thought anything would actually happen. I am half thrilled and half terrified. Chances of miscarriage obviously high but I guess I could be 10 weeks already.

Congratulations is what I say. I'm 45 at the moment and desperately trying to get pregnant, so congratulations, and thanks for giving me some hope! Hope all goes well xx

Oh congrats! How do you feel about it all?
I am a year younger than you and due in a couple of months, been surprisingly easy so far, so good luck!

congratulations! exciting. i would love another (am 40 and single atm) gives me hope. good luck op xxx

Congratulations. It sounds like it's a wanted, but not expected, baby! I guess your first step is to ring your midwife and get yourself booked for the 12 week scan.

As for the falling pregnant over 40 thing. It's actually common enough to not be an oddity. I remember reading on the news about how abortions in the over 40s group is rising rapidly. We are conditioned to believe we are barren from late 30s, and there's no way you can be pregnant over 40. But fact is you can until you hit menopause. Ofc it's harder than when you are 20, but it doens't mean it's not possible. But many women in their 40s stop using contraceptives and when they missed a period, they thought they've hit menopause early! See
www.telegraph.co.uk/health/women_shealth/8543857/Abortion-soars-among-women-in-40s.html

The telegraph is obviously a bit anti-woman in its report. I don't normally read them but it's the first hit from google.

Put the champagne on ice for 9 months! Congratulations!

If i were you I would up your half to 100% thrilled. Congratulations!!

(As a 43 TTC for the first time - your story has really cheered me up. Thank you!)

Greenlizard ..I'm 41 and TTC for the first time! How long have you been trying ? we have been trying for 2 years and properly focused for about a year!
DrWhoFan will this be your first too??

Hi chummy1 we have been trying for about six months "properly" before that we were just quite relaxed about contraception for about 12 months. Now we are going for it, we are all in....temping, fertility monitors, OPKs, lots of DTDing. Had my bloods done and his sperm analysed etc. all seems to be in good working order so hoping it will happen soon. How about you?

I tend to hang out with the lovely ladies on the over forty TTC (with drwhofan too!) most of the ladies there already have DC but it is a great thread whatever your circumstances. Come over and say
hello

May I extended an invitation to the elderberry pavlova thread which is for women over 30 ttcing for their first.

Hi BackGreenlizard We are actually considering IVF as time for us should have run out. DH is 54 and the guilt of ttc when others around us are becoming grandparents can be overwhelming. We have bloods booked in for monday (with GP) and in all honesty I just don't know which way to go....We desperately want a little baby. We're fit, slim, financially and emotionally stable but we're so much older than either of us want to be (for the childs sake) and fear that our beloved child may be picked on at school (DH will be 54/55 when our longed for child will be 10) Torn torn torn torn ... and crying a lot!!! xxx ps we met later in life. Spent my life looking for him, found him so mustn't be ungrateful!

and Pipbin you are so kind to invite me over......... too wobbly tonight but will look in over the next day or so xxx

sorry I meant 64/65 at age 10....
scary thought for a child :(

Congratulations !

Many an unplanned pregnanc led to a much-loved child...

I had my youngest aged 44, good pregnancy, great delivery. He is now 3 (in 4 days!). Good luck with your pregnancy.

May i ask how old your DP/DH was when you had your youngest Pacificdogwood?

Thank you for all the good wishes and encouragement. OH came home and is so up for it that I would say we are now both cautiously thrilled. My sister has had two missed miscarriages where there was no heartbeat at the first scan (she has since had a lovely little boy ) so I'm trying to hold back expectations of ending up with a baby until I've at least seen a heartbeat and just focus on how lovely it is to have a little someone on board for a while even if they don't make it.

Interesting article OneLittleToddleTerror. I see what you mean about the anti-woman tone but the stats on post screening abortions are really encouraging.

Good luck DoctorWhoFan, pod3030, Greenlizard and chummy1. I have been whining to all and sundry for about the last three years (I have one DD who is 5) that OH wanted another but I couldn't seem to manage it and have been told loads of encouraging stories about mums in their mid to late 40s so do keep the faith!

And dopeysheep I hope you get an easy birth as well as an easy pregnancy. Not long now!

Congrats. I had my 5th dc now 2 at 43. Good pregnancy hard baby which has been tiring but I wouldn't change it for the world. She is delicious.

Fatfloosie Great name :) made me smile.......... Lovely news (and I understand your fear too ) however congratulations are most definitely in order!!

Congratulations! I hope your little one's a sticker.

I had my fourth at 41 and if I'm honest there's more than a small part of me that would love an oops even at 45. I just have to remember that I've nearly got my life back on track (DD3 is 3.6) and that usually knocks any broodiness on the head again.

chummy1, DH is 3 years younger than me, so was 41 at DS4's arrival.
I saw your other thread too, and I understand your and your husbands concerns, but as others have said, bad things can happen to parents at any age. I went to school with a girl whose father was over 60 when she was conceived (she had an older half-brother almost 20 years her senior). Her mother must have been in her early/mid 40s when she had her and I have only nice memories of being at her house. Maybe don't focus so much on your ages just now, but think about having a dependent for the next 20 years? Will you miss a more quiet middle-age?? I feel my late children (I had DS1 aged 37) keep me young - maybe I'm deluded .

Fatfloosie, good luck whenever your scan comes along. Here's hoping for a sticky bean .

Hey guys... am in a similar position. Am 40 and thought my child bearing days were over but following a one off afternoon of passion with an old friend a few weeks ago i have been getting faint positive pregnancy tests for the past couple of days (six in total). Since this lovefest i have had a major fall and broken my elbow and a few ribs, so naturally assumed that if i were pregnant at the point of falling i wouldn't have been after. I think i am in shock... I thought that given the fall, the fact i have PCOS and I'm getting on a bit in fertility terms, that pregnancy would be very unlikely! I am kinda struggling to believe its true even with six faintly positive tests... I REALLY want to be pregnant, though i know my situation is far from ideal. Any comment will be greatly appreciated. :)

Vicki I REALLY want to be pregnant. That's all you need to know. You will manage the rest by crossing the bridges when you reach them. Have you told friend yet? Congratulations! And ouchy ribs, hope they heal soon!

Well my friend has been incommunicado ever since, which is very gentlemanly of him!! I have two pretty grown up kids and i am sure it'll be no different bringing this one up, infact, easier if 'friend' is out of the picture. It just feels like since the18th feb (which is when it happened) my life has done a 180. A few days after i did a fertility calculator and realised we were bang on time for ovulation... By that point it was too late for emergency contraception. I remember while i was falling over that all i could think about was that i might be pregnant and panicking... I was sitting waiting for the ambulance in the middle of M&S thinking about the baby not my broken arm or ribs. Oh and the ribs are way more painful than the arm.:) sorry about the rubbish typing i am using my left hand as its my right arm thats broken.

You poor thing. Make sure you're taking only painkillers that are suitable for the newly upduffed! I think ibuprofen is unadvisable for example.

That is quite a lot to happen in 3 weeks isn't it? Life has a way of doing that... Is it a bad break?

Hey... Yes, my head is spinning with all these events... This time three and a half weeks ago my life was plodding along smoothly and then BAM!!! Luckily the arm will heal without surgery, its a minimally displaced fracture of the radial head, so could have been worse... I could do without the friend being an idiot, he is refusing to speak to me at all... Very childish for a man in his late 30s who's a teacher!!!