Right, that's it! Fabulous Forty Somethings ttc want our bfp's and we want them now! We have waited long enough!

(975 Posts)
hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 09:51:11

Here's our shiney new thread. The one where I finally get upduffed with everyone else! smile

DoctorWhoFan Tue 05-Mar-13 12:26:32

EEEEEEEVIL period pain....aaaaargh! Feeling REALLY sorry for myself sad

CaliBee Tue 05-Mar-13 13:42:56

Just a quicky to mark my place.
Rant away hopwfulgum....i understand the tedium of work/home balance very well.
Sparkly....I want to shake your dh if i'm honest. You be strong gal...you can do it whatever happens. I think my man is well past the 12 week mark now. He passes out about mid May...but its looking like he will be posted in either Northern Ireland, Edinburgh or Germany after that...plus the dreaded Afghanistan raaaaa.
Irish...such sad news and relatively young too. Hope you are ok.

mozzarellamummy Tue 05-Mar-13 14:24:17

I posted in the last thread just once, but lurked a lot.. Hope to be more present on this one!!
TTC is really becoming an obsession and I don't know what is the best behaviour to get peace in my mind.. sad
Any suggestion is welcome! smile
Sparkly I'm really sorry for what you're going through..
It would be nice to have an updated list for this new thread, but I wouldn't know where to start..
Good luck to all you good ladies here!!

mumalah Tue 05-Mar-13 17:23:45

Hi ,I only posted a couple of times on last thread, but i have been keeping up with whats been going on ! I will be make my visits more frequently on this one ! Waiting for af so I can start 5th round of clomid ,fx it works ! Have just started temping, and im finding it as obsessive as poas ! Dh thinks I've lost the plot! smile

CaliBee Tue 05-Mar-13 17:53:07

Hi to mozarella and mumalah
How's the clomid going mumalah? I'm on cd9 now of 2nd round. No idea if I will ovulate around the same time as last time (cd16) and temps seem to have been all over the place. Fingers crossed eh?

WipsGlitter Tue 05-Mar-13 18:07:11

Hello. Thinking about trying for number three, I'm 42 with two DSs. DS2 was diagnosed with downs at birth, so we had to deal with that (love him to bits now!!) then I was made redundant. Then I got a temp job, now I'm doing another temp job so the timing just has never seemed right, even though we both want another one. Anyway, hello.

remnant Tue 05-Mar-13 19:48:51

Hello, marking my place, not that I expect to be ttcing, but i'll be watching closely hoping to see more bfp's here. Meanwhile I feel unspeakably shit, I won't go into details.

Notsoold, how are you? My dh is as old as yours, a few months older probably and that's one of the main reason's I think my time is up. I started a thread here, about it, but not sure why really.

Apologies for not keeping up properly. Hello to all the newbies x

mumalah Tue 05-Mar-13 20:10:14

Good Evening everyone !
Calibee I,m startin 5th round after af arrives, which should be any day. I've had a month of as at a stupid 19 day cycle after a 43 day cycle. I have started temping this cycle, getting the hang of it now, temps were looking quite good until this morning. I have only ovulated once which was on my 4th round, confirmed by 21 day bloods. However my temp chart says ovulation on cd19 this month, and if that is the case 21 day tests would be inaccurate, As soon as I ovulated I was discharged with no scans, no bloods just two months of clomid and told to go back in April if no luck ! No appointments available in April, so got appointment for May. Just really hoping I will be able to cancel that appointment!

Isabeller Tue 05-Mar-13 20:13:45

Hello lovely people, hugs to remnant and DoctorWho thank you to hopeful thanks for the thread.

Every time the phone goes I jump in case it's about the scan but nothing so far. Trying not to worry. Lots to be grateful for, DP happier than for a long time and I am sleeping in my own bed all week! grin

hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 22:29:42

Remnant, sorry to hear you are feeling awful. I put my 2 cents worth onto your thread. I think I may understand how you are feeling. I am not entirely sure of your situation, but when I had my second miscarriage my DH was not willing to keep ttc and I was devastated. I think I walked around for months feeling very sad indeed.That has lessened now, with time.

My DH still doesn't want to ttc, but won't do anything about contraception, knowing full well that I would love another baby. I think he believes it is so unlikely that it is worth taking the chance. So I don't mention it, he has no idea of my cycle and I continue on. If/when (trying to be positive) I do get pregnant I think I may have a very shocked DH on my hands, but I'll cross that bridge if I ever get to it.And I know that he will be fine with it in the end, otherwise I wouldn't continue on.

I know it is selfish of me, but I feel that the desire or urge to have a baby is so strong for a woman,( and a man would find that very difficult to grasp) and I feel that I have to pursue it in order to be authentic and true to myself.

Reading that back it sounds so selfish and like spiritual,crystal babble, but I have fought hard to rid myself of those feelings,and they are not budging!

I hope you find some peace with all this,I know what a struggle it is.

Hello to Mumalah,*wipsglitter*,*mozzarella*.

Calibee, it must be hard thinking about your DF having to serve his country in another country. If he's posted to Europe somewhere, would you go to? I imagine that would be quite difficult as you still have children at home,don't you?

Isabeller, I do hope that phone rings soon with your scan appointment. The waiting must be terrible.

Drwhofan, sorry AF is being such an evil witch. BTW, when does the next series of Dr Who start? We are all starting to get a bit twitchy in our house. hmm

hopefulgum Tue 05-Mar-13 22:33:00

P.S. Deige, did you find us? Please report in...I am thinking of you.

member2013 Tue 05-Mar-13 23:13:04

Hello dear all, may I join you? this is my first post here!

JBrd Wed 06-Mar-13 00:38:59

<<marking my place on the new thread>>

Welcome to the thread, returners and newbies!

isabeller fingers crossed they call soon - did they give you any idea about the timings/schedule? Could you call them...?

remnant I cannot begin to understand how you must be feeling, it's so so sad.

CaliBee How are you feeling, are you managing to start getting back to 'normal' a bit...?

WipsGlitter Oooh, the mysterious 'right' time... Is there ever such a thing?! I used to think there was, but am now pretty much convinced that there isn't. I found out that I was going to be made redundant just as we had decided it was the right time to ttc #1 - we went for it anyway. Then just after DS was born, DH got made redundant! All quite scary, but it all worked out well in the end. DH found a job again (but I had the utterly decadent luxury of having him home with me and DS for the first 6 months), and so did I. But then deciding to start ttc #2 pretty much coincided with me starting to look for another job including a career change - so here I am, thinking what the hell am I doing?! New career, new job, ttc, all at the same time at the ripe age of 41?
But life's too short, and as my lovely DH always says 'It will be alright'. Which it usually is, one way or the other.

So my job hunt has now officially started - I sent my first application out at the beginning of last week, and must have done something right, as they came back to me on Friday with the next step in the process. Now I have to complete a 3-part test, where they probe my abilities, and it's toughtoughtough! Doesn't help that my mum is visiting just now... Plus, I'm going away on Saturday/Sunday to meet up with some girlfriends, argh! The assessment has to be in by the 10th, but I will have to have finish it by Friday, if I want to go away (can't get out of it, as I'm the driver!). Then they decide if they want you for an interview.
But I'm quite pleased to have passed the first hurdle, at least I know that I wasn't completely off with my new, skills-based CV and cover letter.

Off to bed now, have a good night everyone!

CaliBee Wed 06-Mar-13 07:53:09

Morning all

hopefulgum...yes the conversations have started re what will happen after he is posted. He would like me to go with him but does understand that I am very torn. Ds finishes school this time and I have always said I will see him through school for sure. He hopes to go to a local college...but his Dad lives just as close to the college and he spends a third of his time at his Dad's as it is. Dd2 is only here as and when it suits her...she spends the rest of her time between her dads and her boyfriend's house. She is hoping to do Nursing at Uni next year. So...in a word I am torn right down the middle. It would be easier more practical to stay here but realisticly would be here alone for the most part. On the other hand I could go with DP and be able to easily pursue the ttcing (yes I confess to having let it become part of the equation) ...I have realised that at 43 my time is most probably getting much less and lets face it, a baby will only happen if we are around each other to have sex!! Big decisions ahead and for once I wont be making any rash ones....this one will take a lot of thought.

jbrd ...ooo exciting news re job. Lots and lots of luck for that. Hmmm normality?? Maybe it would be easier to say I am finding a new normality. I feel at ease about the whole mc saga now, I just find myself with the odd pang of utter disappointment....especially amidst the recent arguments at work about annual leave. Maternity leave would have sorted that for me.
How about you?? Are you fully back into ttcing again??

remnant sorry to hear you feel so crap. I realy hope it gets better soon x

mumalah I was lucky to be able to get a 6 month Clomid prescription and have a follow up appointment in May. When I called fertility clinic in December to tell them I was pregnant, they asked if I wanted to cancel that appointment....I'm glad I didnt as getting another one would have meant going to the back of the queue.

isabeller I hope that scan appointment comes very soon for you.

greenlizard Wed 06-Mar-13 08:17:03

Morning All

<plonks myself into new thread>

Welcome to Mumalah,wipsglitter*,*mozzarella and member2013!!

Jbrd I have dusted down the old pom-poms ready for your 2WW and now job hunting cheerleading...grin it won't be too gymnastic (wouldn't want to put my back out or anything!) but I can do enthusiastic arm waving. Well done on the job application and getting through the first round.

......................G-O-J-B-R-D!! gringringrin

Isabeller hope you get your scan date very soon and things get sorted quickly. Glad your DP feeling better and you are getting some rest in your own bed. As someone who loves their sleep as much as I do, I can really appreciate this smile

calibee and mualah how do you feel on clomid - do you get any sideeffects? What does it do for you? Do you get scanned?

Remnant so sorry you are having a rough time. <hand squeeze>

wipsglitter I don't think there is such a think as the right time - well starting to TTC when I was 25 might have been the right time for my eggs but unfortunately I hadn't met my DP then (was with wildly unsuitable predecessor sad). Anyway, I would go for it, who knows what will happen tomorrow but you both know you want another child today.

drwhofan are you feeling a bit better? I feel rough over the first two days of AF so am never knowingly under medicated otherwise I just couldn't go to work/function. I have always found that Feminax work well for me more than just normal painkillers (have something in them that stops the cramping or something) and I make sure that I take them as soon as the cramps start and keep going so that they don't get a hold. I also have very heavy bleeding at the first couple of days which also then eases up and I start to feel normal(ish) again.

Have a nice day ladies.

DoctorWhoFan Wed 06-Mar-13 12:04:14

Morning ladies.

Hiya Gum. New series starts on 30th March...sooooo excited! smile

Welcome to newbies.

Ah Remnant love, I'm so sorry you're feeling so crappy. Have a very un mnetty hug from me.

Mozarella I haven't managed to be the slightest bit sensible about ttc...I temp, do opks, take enough vitamins that I feel that I rattle (I probably do!), and generally don't think about much else, so I'm useless when it comes to perspective...sorry grin

Cali that sounds kind of exciting...though I wouldn't be the slightest bit sure about Afghanistan if that came up!

Aaaargh Green the pain...the pain....! Last night was bloody awful and yes, I took a lot of painkillers - gotta love Tramadol! Today isn't quite so bad, but it's working up to being worse, so painkillers are on the agenda again. I try not to take them though unless I really need it. I tend to have a couple of months where it's not so bad, and it's like it builds up, so every 3 months I get a real bastard painful period, and then it goes back to bearable again.

I was prescribed the tramadol for my bad back, and after my shoulder operation, but I barely used them. I do have a tendency to "tough it out" through pain. Not sure I'd be the same with giving birth though....I can only hope I get to find out. I only want one child, as I'm 46 this year, any more would just be ridiculous (at least in my eyes) but one, healthy child, it's all I want. Is it too much to ask? It just feels so unfair at the minute. It's the thing I want most in the world. DP and I want to be a 'family'. He never thought he'd want children so the turnaround is amazing, and I want to be able to give us that one child...

I was planning on going to the doctors this week to sign on, but I've not managed to get on top of my anxiety and leave the house. Maybe I can get my SIL to take me on Friday sometime...

mozzarellamummy Wed 06-Mar-13 13:14:07

Gum , my OH is also not so entusiastic on TTC, even if he finally agreed to.. but I'm afraid he also relies on chanches being so small..
Cali.. I hope your DH will be posted somewhere around Europe, I like the idea of moving .. Me and my OH sometimes chat about moving to UK and start a new life there, but it's not that easy isn't it?
I'm still healing from an heartbreaking TFMR on August at 24 wks..don't think I will ever heal completly.. today I'm going to visit a friend in hospital who just had a baby.. I hope I won't end up crying! sad .. Up to now, I've been quite good with dealing with pregnant friends and babies and I'm happy I still can enjoy their company, but it's the first time I'll see a tiny tiny newborn and I'm a little worried..
I'm on the 2 wks now, if opks is right this cycle should be shorter than others (23d!), I'm scared of this being a sign of menopause..

Isabeller Wed 06-Mar-13 13:48:13

Hiya and welcome memsmile

What an exciting/terrifying situation Calibee I'm guessing if you put your own happiness first you will want to go and it could work well for everyone from what you say. Would your DCs support you?

So sorry about your TFMR mozzarella, also good idea about updated list. I found the new list that started near the end of the last thread do copy and paste grin

TTC

Calibee 43 ttc 10 months. Mc Jan 2013. On Clomid after irregular cycles. 3dcs 23,19 &15
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc 7 mths dc15,15,13,2
Hopefulgum 46, ttc ~3 years, 3mcs, 5 DCS: 21,19,16,12,4
Isabeller ttc 5 years, adult DD, IVF with donor eggs, first cycle unsuccesful

BFP's

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, BFP first cycle ttc

Isabeller Wed 06-Mar-13 14:08:39

I haven't heard about the scan yet and I'm working myself up to phone someone although not exactly sure who.

I know it is selfish of me, but I feel that the desire or urge to have a baby is so strong ... I feel that I have to pursue it in order to be authentic and true to myself.

It was amazing to read this hopeful as it could have been written by DP who is a somewhat unusual chap. It is one reason why I am willing to go to quite extreme personal lengths, I completely understand this feeling, it dominated my 30s when I was ttc with exH including IVF cycles when azoospermia was finally discovered after I don't know how long. I've more or less accepted I'm out of my own eggs although I can't help hoping for a natural miracle smile

JBrd Wed 06-Mar-13 16:39:30

TTC

Calibee 43 ttc 10 months. Mc Jan 2013. On Clomid after irregular cycles. 3dcs 23,19 &15
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc 7 mths dc15,15,13,2
Hopefulgum 46, ttc ~3 years, 3mcs, 5 DCS: 21,19,16,12,4
Isabeller ttc 5 years, adult DD, IVF with donor eggs, first cycle unsuccesful
JBrd 41, ttc 6 months, mc Jan 2013, 1 DS 22 months

BFP's

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, BFP first cycle ttc

green Thanks for the cheering! grin

drwho Hope you feel better soon! Your anxiety sounds severe, I hadn't realised it was this bad. You certainly have to juggle a lot of extra balls with your efforts to ttc! And I hope your period pains eases soon.

mozzarella Sorry to hear about your TFMR, that must have been heartbreaking. I'm sure your friend will understand, if you do cry - and maybe it will even help your grieving process, to see a tiny newborn?
Where are you based, if you don't mind me asking? You mentioned thinking about moving to the UK?
I'm also in the 2ww, when is your AF due? Mine should be here around the 15th Well, that's what I think, FertilityFriend says 12th, but I don't believe that...Although I also find that my cycles seem to have become shorter since I had DS hmm

isabeller Your DP sounds similar to mine! He always wanted children, because he feels its one of the reasons we're here for. Believe it or not, I never wanted children, up until I was 37-38! At one point, it even was one of the reasons for breaking up with an ex-bf. Sounds unbelievable now... Who would've thought!

mummysaidno Wed 06-Mar-13 17:18:26

Hello I am ttc have been lurking , half way through 2ww but not to hopeful, not done " it " enough .

CaliBee Wed 06-Mar-13 18:00:54

Hi to mummysaidno its nice to see more ladies posting grin

isabeller ...I think Dc's would support me. I have a feeling my Mom may turn up her nose though. She's very oldskool bless her. It took her a while to come to terms with our age differences and for quite a while I'm sure she thought he was taking me for a ride. Little did she know that in the early days of our relationship I was the one in it just for the fun hehehe blush. Anyway...I'm quite sure she will see it as me abandoning my children and throwing away the stability of a good job. Part of me hates this as despite my best efforts I still like her approval.....on the other hand, her disapproval could be the thing that makes me do it....ever the rebel!!! Eeeeek.

mozzarella You have had such a hard time, it must have been a totally heartbreaking decision you had to make.

lizard I have had relatively few side effects from the clomid. A headache, a little nauseous and a dry mouth being the only things really and these go as soon as the 5 days of taking it are over. Basically it fools the body into producing more Oestrogen, which in turn raises the fsh to mature eggs in the ovary. Basically it stimulates ovulation. A lot of Dr's wont prescribe it for over 40's...I'm so glad mine did. I have a supply I bought myself that I was quite prepared to use should she not have agreed to prescribe it for me. I was scanned on my first cycle...which ended up in a BFP, so the dose was obviously right. I restarted on my first af since mc and am not having any monitoring this time. Fingers crossed that sticky bfp happens soon.

mozzarellamummy Wed 06-Mar-13 18:36:33

Thanks jbrd, the visit was ok..a very beautiful baby and a joyful family around and the joy was contagious smile!
I live in Rome ..my af are due on the 15but may come on the 11 if my lp is unchanged .. confused..fingers x for you!

DoctorWhoFan Wed 06-Mar-13 19:29:15

TTC

Calibee 43 ttc 10 months. Mc Jan 2013. On Clomid after irregular cycles. 3dcs 23,19 &15
Littlepinkfizz 42 ttc 7 mths dc15,15,13,2
Hopefulgum 46, ttc ~3 years, 3mcs, 5 DCS: 21,19,16,12,4
Isabeller ttc 5 years, adult DD, IVF with donor eggs, first cycle unsuccesful
JBrd 41, ttc 6 months, mc Jan 2013, 1 DS 22 months
DrWhoFan 45 ttc 26 months. No DC as yet...keep hoping

BFP's

calendargal, 40, 1 DD aged 2, BFP first cycle ttc

Added myself to the TTC list.

Yeah JBrd the anxiety is a pain in the hole. But the psych offered me some help and I turned him down recently. I think it's just not something I'm ready to deal with yet. Pathetic, but true! Still, I get out when I have someone with me, so I'm not entirely housebound, I just don't go out alone.

So sorry to read about your TFMR Mozarella. I can't imagine how awful that would have been. DP and I have agreed that we would terminate for medical reasons. It was something we talked long and hard about, and both feel that we couldn't cope with a special needs child. At a younger age I would have felt differently, but at 45 (46 this year), I know I wouldn't have the energy, and my bipolarity has been quite severe the last few years, so I don't think I could cope with the added stress either tbh. It's a hard thing to agree to, but we needed to be realistic about things. Much love to you xx

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