The Elderberry Sausage Wangers (thread 5) and the hunt for immaculate conception - a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

[Bunnygirlie]

Our new home, hope we will all be very unhappy here and leave soon ;-)

No, I had a lap and dye last month, that is a more full on job under a general.

HSG is not unlike having a smear done, but with an audience. Also there is an x-ray machine which shows that path of all the dye. You can watch this on the screen. I found it a little uncomfortable towards the end but nothing dreadful.

Feck.

Smiley face this morning, OH not back til tmw evening. Damnit.

Ah I see, good luck pip

Bumsy thunder damn OHs and their work!

At least you know when he is back, who knows when my hubby's mojo will return

Oh he doesn't have much mojo when he's here either unfortunately. It's not good is it bunny. I had high hopes for us!

Ah sorry pip, I got that wrong.

Hi everyone, how's your Tuesday turning out? Cd22 here and ready for the 2ww to be over! Dh's semen analysis is soon, fun times! . Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this would be a part of my life. Also, decided to lie to my mother yesterday - hadn't told her about any of these fertility tests and decided to keep it that way, but I still feel bad for actually lying to her about where I went yesterday. I just don't want it to be a topic of convo between us, especially since she had an easy time getting preg each time, and really ones not realize how difficult it can be. Anyone else handling things this way with family or friends?

thunder not sure if you got your answer but for some people it can be up to 36 hours after the surge (smiley) before actual O. For me it's within 24 hours (can tell by my temps)

Sidney my friends know we're trying, my parents don't. If my mum or MIL touch on the subject I say all in good time, which keeps them off the scent. I don't want the additional pressure...

Hsg showed all tubes clear. Pip what did yours show?

Thank you merkin. So we dtd Sun night, smiley Tues morning and dtd again Weds night (OH away mon-weds, damnit), there is still a slight chance we could catch it?

Nice one on the clear tubes, twinkle!

I'm completely the opposite, but mostly because I need the support network. I've been so ill the last times we had to tell everyone, like with Kate Middleton, so I'm basically not hiding the fact I want to try again. Most of my friends already have children and they seem to be happy to talk when I feel like it rather than pushing us about it.

I've actually had a really nice long conversation about it (in a small room while doing mindless paper pushing) with a colleague who's 19 and in a serious relationship. Just talking to her about everything that's happened, she was really curious and interested to find out about it from someone who's had mcs and stuff because she comes from a huge family and is wondering whether to start trying early. I said go for it, if you are settled enough, it's silly in hindsight to wait ages and only then find out that something's wrong!

I really find that it's helpful for people around you to know as long as you trust them to be supportive.

thunder sounds as tho both those times were in the 5 days prior and day of O bracket so a good chance!

Sidney, I told my mother we were trying, but she's not as supportive as I hoped she'd be. Here attitude was 'well, surely you're not worrying about it are you?' when we'd reached the one year mark, and when I told her that DP's brother was having a second child she didn't seem to consider that this might be difficult for me.
DP's mother is a nightmare with fussing about things and winding us up, and he hadn't told her we were ttc until just recently after his brother had announced their news (other brother recently had a baby as well). I think he was just fending off the 'so when are you going to...?' questions.

My close friends know, and DP has just recently started to tell a few of his friends. I think he wanted someone other than me to talk to. Funny thing is, when he decided to share with a friend that he'd been to have SA, his mate turned round and said that actually, he'd been there the month before for the same thing, and he and his wife had been trying over a year as well! And when he told another friend recently, he discovered that that friend and his wife have been trying three years now. It's nice that he's got friends to talk to now, but worrying that so many of us seem to be having problems (and we're all in our 30's...)

her not here. Damn. Hate typos!

sidney, we didn't tell anyone we we're trying either. Obviously a few more people know now because of the mmc but certainly not everyone- just my mum and some close friends.

I told my mum I was pg but only because I had to! (she was bearing down on me with cured meat and red wine). Otherwise I'd prefer to keep it all secret- ttc and everything- really until past 12 weeks

Thank you merkin, I will try to retain a small bit of positivity at least then! and stop FREAKING OUT

Does that mean you're a week into the dreaded 2ww thunder? I've still not O'd and this sex malarkey and having to keep shaving my legs daily is getting dull!! ungrateful cow I know

No not yet, I just got a smiley this morning so due to ovulate between now and the next couple of days. OH was away mon and today so he's going to get jumped tomorrow and hope that we can catch the damn egg.

How does your OH feel about all the sex malarkey?!

OH seems to be very happy! Although any mention of it being the right time and he's not a happy man (evidently it's a complete turnoff)! Welcome to our world is what I say! So we will be pretty much 2WW buddies... (well 12 day wait for me anyway). Poor you, you have to put with me POAS every day and insisting that there are lines when there are clearly not any lines to be seen!!

Sidney I'd have done just the same as you, no way I would want to tell family yet.. it's bad enough waiting for the dropped hints from DH's sisters who are saving their baby kit for us and wondering when the hell we're going to get round to it. They're all coming over to ours for mothers day lunch and there's already been a very pointed count up of all the mothers that will be there, gah!

I think I may have overdone the nonchalant-ness and they all think I hate kids now too. Joy. They scare me but I don't hate them, I just don't know how to handle them.

Barking that's fab your DP has friends he can chat too. We've so far decided to keep it between ourselves but I'm not good at keeping things from people, wear my heart on my sleeve. I takes up so much thought I'm sure to let is slip to someone...

thunder whatever will we do with our poor mojo-less OHs?!?!?

sidney I haven't told any friends or family apart from when mate who I started crying in front of whilst chatting about the impending birth of her child, now baby is here I don't see her much, she has more important things to think about now than my whinging!

cherry I know what you mean about heart on a sleeve, I've had a few times at work when I've been so moody or so teary that I'm sure my colleagues thought I was losing it!

I didn't tell anyone for ages then I got to the stage where I just wanted to talk about it, as if keeping it a big secret was making it into more of a big issue. I wanted to explain why I had a face full of spots (the pill was the only way to keep my acne at bay and now I've had 15 months off it) and why I don't want to go for that job that would be perfect (but not one you'd want to start and then fx have to leave for maternity) and I also wanted to warn off the 'when are you planning to start a family' questions, and hopefully make pregnant women and those with young children a little more aware that what they are talking about might be a little sensitive for me.
Now I probably talk about it too much, share too much information with people I'm not that close to, and bore people to death with all things fertility. Oh well.

oh ffs. they're everywhere. I just wanted to take my mind off it by watching grand designs. I should have known they'd be having a baby while building a house. I'm not having a good evening and dh is at work til really late :-) :'(

tallyra I know what you mean, I don't even watch mike and Molly but the trailers are all about them TTC!!!! Leave me alone!!!

bunny I love mike and molly, they are being truthful about ttc, ovulation calendars, special diets, sex for sexs sake, ban on tight pants, lots of poas etc it's being done really well. None of this one night of passion and voila crap! I know what you mean though.