I'm ready to give up now :(

[stephbecominglittler]

Hi all .... Got pregnant last may and ended up loosing my baby :( been ttc ever since u name it dtd everyday legs in air . Pre seed , ovulation kits , lucky horoscopes quit smoking , going gym eating healthy no stress . U name everything we tried it ! Even doing pregnancy test and holding stick up to light to c if there is the slightest most faintest line ever and nothing !!!! It's really getting me and my fiancé down now we each have a child with ex partners so can't b nothing wrong . Tears after tears and really starting to give up . Will me and my fiancé eer become parents together :(

I just want to say that I know how you feel. I have one DD and but really want a second. I will be 39 in June and I really don't think it's going to happen for us and I know that we're running out of time. We haven't been putting as much effort in as you because we were both a bit up and down about it all since we had a MC in July last year. I had one MC before DD aswell.

Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

Don't give up but maybe take a considered break to recharge yourselves emotionally and concentrate on your couple relationship. Could you go on holiday, plan some day trips.

It sounds like you have been through a horrible stressful time and whilst i don't know if there is evidence to back it up, that level of stress and pressure can't be helping- certainly not in terms of your emotional wellbeing.

You could set a dead line for the break of 2 months but not actively use contraception (but ditch the other ov tests etc) and just enjoy each other again?

I have found in my work (reflexology) that having a break from trying really can help but you need to really let go of the trying!! Secondary infertility can sadly be quite common and stress will almost certainly affect your hormones.

Take the pressure off for a few months (properly, without the secret longing if you can)

Thanks guys we have just come back from Spain actually dtd all the time .kat I am so glad I found someone in the same boat as me I'm 22 but I can't help thinking something is wrong with either of us dispite already having a son and my fiancé having a daughter possibly 2 ( I won't go jnto that story ) it's just month after month £££ after pounds in ovulation kits am pregnancy tests I get my hopes up every month and my period arrives . People tell me
Not to think about it but its all I ever think about :( most of y friends are pregnant or have just had a baby it's very hard for me :( xx also all these druggies out there And people who dot deserve kids are popping them out like no tomorrow it's so u fair on us :( xx

Sorry you've had a tough time, no wonder you are feeling stressed. BUT...as you were pg in May its really only 8-9 months you've been trying again...and it's really common to for the body to take a good while to recover from miscarriage. It's perfectly normal for it to take up to a year even in normal, fertile couples. I know it's really hard and v stressful when you just desperately want to be pg again (have been TTC 2+ years with one m/c to show for it) but you need to try and keep things in perspective - it's really not that long and way before you need to start worrying that something is wrong. I know it's so hard and I'm really not trivialising it. But at 22, you've got lots of time on your side. Have you thought about counselling? It's helped me since my m/c, particularly in terms of keeping myself relatively calm while continuing to try. Worth thinking about - your GP can refer you.

Best of luck.

So sorry to hear you have been having a bad time, you have been really brave, hang in thre! I dont have any advice other than to say may be worth taking a bit of time out to relax and enjoy each others company?! Stay strong! snding you hugs and hope things get better soon xxx

I've not had any mmcs (or any BFPs either) Steph so I can't imagine how awful that must have been for you, but I can empathise with the TTC for a long time. I came off the pill in August 2011, but DH and I didn't really work out what we were supposed to be doing (dumb, I know) for a while and what with breaks for work and stuff, we only count that we've been TTC in earnest since July 2012.

It's so hard seeing everyone else get pregnant and doing everything you can, but nothing happening. And it's so rage-inducing seeing all the people like druggies having children and you feel it's so unfair, but you have to put all that to one side and not think about it otherwise it drives you crazy.

As others have said, don't give up and maybe think about having a short break. Not meaning to be patronising, but 22 is quite young and so you've got a lot of time to TTC, so you can afford to take a bit of a break.

The other thing you could do is maybe go back to your GP and get some tests done on blood and semen, but I doubt they'll even consider it until you've been trying for a year.

Chin up and talk to your DH about it - I'm sure that together you can come up with a considered plan when you are feeling a bit more together about it all. I'm sure it's just a matter of time. Good luck. xx