Elderberry Pavlovas And The Eternal Sausage of Wang (Part 4): a frightfully good thread for the over-30s TTC their first baby.

[viviennewestwould]

Over here, sausage-wangers!

Happy, I'm just coming to the end of cycle 18 now. I went to the doctors to raise concerns last August as that was more or less 12 months. It's been rumbling along with blood tests, swabs, dildocams, etc since then. DH has had 2 x SA too. One lot came back a little low but the 2nd batch were normal. That's one small blessing.

Navis and Bunny, I'm terrible for moodswings and my DH used to be just like yours, Navis! I think he's starting to understand now that it's on my mind every single day and that explains some of the irrational moments!

How do I always manage to miss the action??

Congrats Rach that is so exciting!! I wonder, are any of the pregnancy months easier to manage than others? Isn't there a tipping point when most of the sickness has gone, and the glowy bloomy stuff sets in? or is that a cruel joke myth?

I'm CD26 here by CBFM (25 accdg to my app, so not really sure which to go by), of a 28-29 day cycle, trying v v hard not to symptom spot. The wait is driving me a little bonkers. I have a fertility screening set up for Friday, so if AF hasn't arrived by then, will def be POAS on Thurs evening, just in case they plan to do a Pg test - would rather get the news (good or bad) with my DH here at home.

This morning FF decided to give me crosshairs on the 6th, making me 3DPO. I believe it is wrong, due to chaotic temps pre O, and that I actually O'd on the 4th, making me 5DPO if i did O on the 6th I will be fully fucked off, as because I thought I had O'd on the 4th I didn't DTD between the 4th and the 6th FFS
Being as I had sex once at the 'right time' I am convincing myself I am still in with a chance (ha ha ha ha ha ha) and am going to symptom spot to the end of the earth! (Have seen some charts on FF that have more than 20 lines of symptoms so aiming for one of those for shits and giggles). Oh I and shall bore you to death with all of my symptoms. Will be POAS from Thursday... because like Navi I did not get chance last month, and because I am an addict!
Have not caught up with the rest of the thread so will do in the morn, rushing to get ready to go out now. Have a good night ladies, and stay out of trouble mumsnet are watching us troublemakers ;)

Thanks Sidney, there really isn't much 'blooming' going on over on the graduates thread.... just aches, pains, knackeredness, clothes which don't fit and loads of constipation. If anyone does consider themselves to be blooming they are certainly disguising it well. It is, as you say, easier to manage now just because the barfing has stopped. And bloody hell, I could absolutely murder a wine.

But I know all of you would swap places with us in a heartbeat so no real moans here, only jokey ones. I hope you are all moaning along with us very soon

navis tough isn?t it, can?t help being emotional!

happy we?ll have the basic tests and see what they say I guess

Oh crikey, Gail has only been gone two minutes and the symptom spotters are out

As I sip a glass of pink vino, sorry to show off Rach?. no seriously I am well jel! Send our best to the grads!

Just to say hi - new poster here so hope I'm in the right place.

33 and on 2nd month of TTC and it sucks! All my friends seem to have managed this literally the first time trying so trying not to get too paranoid about things!

Hi Fairy and welcome. Your definitely in the right place - we've all been TTC a fair while here. Just remember the average time to conceive is 6 months. Some will take longer, some less. But 80% of couples will conceive within a year so try to stay positive!

Welcome fairy, we're a good bunch here

I looked at some of the other threads on here (surely its not cheating if I didn't actually post) and this really is the nicest bunch of people, no talk of hideous things like baby dust, just nice chitchat and advice

Can't WAIT to start moaning about morning sickness, etc. This cycle is round 20, getting FED UP to the max lol!!!!

With my best friend due to give birth shortly I feel my patience is strained waiting to even get pregnant! All I seem to see are pregnant women and babies! I know it's early days but I got pregnant 2 years ago literally about a month off the pill so I had hoped the same thing would happen! I had surgery so I had to stop it and never thought things would happen so quickly! Afraid that all ended in tears about 7 weeks later so I think my anxiety comes from that

Oh fairy sorry to hear that I think part of what makes this whole TTC thing so difficult is that we're all led to believe that getting pregnant is the easiest thing in the world; look at all the people who fall pg while using contraceptives, or are pg and don't even realize it til a baby appears in the toilet (boak) etc - so then when you actually set out to become pg, and it isn't such a walk in the park, it makes you feel like you must be doing something wrong. Most of my friends have children, and only two have ever admitted that they TTC for months before being successful - the rest are all in the "oh my babies came so easily" camp. In their cases it may be true, but I can't help but wonder if maybe admitting that it took the better part of a year (or years) to get pg makes them feel less ideal, in some way.

it's all so hard. Even when I'm having a super optimistic day about it all, I still feel slightly disappointed in myself that it's become such a big thing in my life. I really wish I'd known earlier that TTC was probably not going to be as easy as everyone claims.

CD27 here (I think), getting v nervous

It does kind of take over your thoughts doesn't it! I really feel for people who've been trying a long time - it's hard enough for me to see 2 pregnant friends as it is never mind if I'd been trying for several months or years.

Does feel hugely better to talk to others in the same boat tho!

Hi fairy . Still not caught up from yesterday so apologies if I'm behind the times. navi anymore POAS action? sidney feel like AF is on the way or not? 28 day cycle?

Hi Fairy. I think the hardest thing is that we see people who get pg by just looking at their partner. That said, we all think this and never really know the truth because it's so unspoken. Yes two of my friends who have just had babies have either got pg by accident or within a month of trying, however when a lady I work with sadly lost* her baby at 20 weeks nearly every mother of children in her class (I'm a teacher) who knew said that they had had a loss. In fact amongst the staff there was only one mother who hadn't either had a loss or struggled to conceive. It is just so unspoken.

Here at Pipbin Towers we are planning the move to Pipbin Abbey. All is going OK so far, I'm just dreading the survey of this house as I'm sure they'll find something wrong. The biggest problem with out TTCing though is that we haven't DTD in nearly 4 weeks. Granted two of those weeks were post lap and dye but really!! I've got the follow up appointment on Wednesday.

*I hate the term 'lost' and 'miscarried' it makes it sound like the mother has done something wrong. She didn't lose him, she knew where he was they whole time.

Pip I hate those terms too. It makes it harder to talk about, when the words available are just so insufficient, or quasi-insulting. The further in TTC I get, the more I realize that getting pregnant is just one of many steps along the way to having a baby. Wondering if there's any point at which I'll actually be able to relax and enjoy the process, instead of worrying about whatever stage I 'm in & what's still to come. Good luck with the move! Fx it all goes well with it & with your follow-up appointment!

2cats yes, usually a 28-29 day cycle. Am cautiously optimistic but also bracing myself for disappointment. I think we did really well this cycle, but don't want to get my hopes up too high.

Fairy, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? 2 months really isn't that long hon. x

Sidney... Any symptoms?

I'm 33 - will be 34 in may. I know 2 months isn't long but it feels like ages to me! Anxiety can't help but struggling to stop feeling that way! Definitely compounded by seeing others do it first time too!

Fingers xd all of us have very happy news very soon

Yeah why don't people talk about how tough it is?!? If I am ever blessed with getting pg I will def be talking about how difficult it was!

I think people are maybe so happy at getting pg they forget how crap trying can be! Tho loads of people I know don't seem to have had any problem or delay at all

Well since you asked 2cats
Mysterious cramping last tues evening; initially thought it was a bad sign; now wondering if it was a good one?
V v v v v sore breasts; could be AF
Extreme moodiness (crying as I type this due to DH just apologizing for being so obnoxious today), could be AF
Nausea, could be that DH has gotten me sick, or just a dread of getting my period in a few days + turning 38 soon + other stressors coming to a head

Basically I do not feel well at all but there are probably a million reasons that could be the cause.

Ooh Sidney, that's good enough for me! Keep the updates coming!
navi any news?

I agree Soph (cycle 19 here). I don't think labour can be as painful as this torture of waiting!

Sid - that all sounds v promising

Evening all, good weekend?

News here, managed to DTD this morn, CD16 so missed 'it' but hoping this is heading in the right direction for DHs anxieties