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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

997 replies

ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 15/01/2013 10:59

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne ) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

OP posts:
Northey · 01/02/2013 09:59

Nice tits alliteration.

Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:01

A little bird told me it is LazyMachine's birthday today!

Happy birthday! Is it the big one or the one before? or have I got you confused with someone else if so sorry Grin

OP posts:
lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:02

Grin at EmBarryO Grin Finally got it dimwitted one me
And generalised fred gin Grin

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:03

I've got no idea who lazy is, but happy birfday all the same!

MadameBoolala · 01/02/2013 10:04

Happy Birthday lazymachine

JethroTull · 01/02/2013 10:06

I am honoured at the ESH turnout Grin but confused who Lazy is? Please tell me??

I am carrying the piss stick with me today. Just to make sure!

It's been 3 years almost to the day. 3 fucking years. I love science. Well done for inventing IVF Mr Edwards.

Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:09

We do know Lazy. At first I thought she might be a frightful interloper trying to join in with the adventures. I was going to offer her my cast off plimsolls and a bath with some carbolic soap. But then she PMed me.

She is a PESH about to drop, if that offers any clues. Don't guess out loud - she wants to remain incognito.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:11

Five and the Mystery of the Frightful Interloper (who they knew really)

Five and the Triumph of the IVF Win

Five and the Adventures of Barry the Embryo.

OP posts:
FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 01/02/2013 10:11

Jeff are you a member of the Top Secret BESH Facebook Group? If my suspicions are right you'll see who our mysterious guest is there....

EuroShagmore · 01/02/2013 10:20

EmBarryO is going to stick, if it sticks, isn't it?

Happy birthday Lazy!

3 years. Bloody hell Jeff. I'm at 2 and a bit and I have definitely had enough. Good show!

Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:23

I am three years too.

OP posts:
lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:28

I am two years and 7 months. But if we go for IVF, I most certainly will be 3 years by the time we get there...

secret fb group Envy

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:30

Btw I might now know who lazy is, but I won't guess. I must have been here for her win...

blonderthanred · 01/02/2013 10:32

Congratulations Jeffers! Was just looking at the PESH thread and hoping it would have some new additions soon. Fantastic news.

Congrats also on beautiful embryo Euro, will be willing it to stick.

IVF and all its AF compatriots are a wonderful thing.

Hello to all BESHers, gin and cake all round (fuck gingerbeer and paste sandwiches). Hoping for a mass clusterdiff to be announced in coming weeks.

Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:32

I have been waiting for AC for nearly a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR! And they said they would fast track me because of my age. And now this FUCKING delay for this allergy bollocks. Wankers.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:32

Anyway. Sorry. Not the time or place.

This is a Happy Day.

OP posts:
MadameBoolala · 01/02/2013 10:34

The palais is always the place Rie.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:34

They are stupid wankers. Fact.

EuroShagmore · 01/02/2013 10:35

Agreed - the palais is always the place.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake · 01/02/2013 10:36

It's a happy day, but it can always be happier. Barry needs to stick and the other hags need their diffages one way or another but in the right place and sticky, of course

Original poster
ArielThePiraticalMermaid · 01/02/2013 10:37

Just counted the PESH list. Over fifty PESH baybees now.

OP posts:
MadameBoolala · 01/02/2013 10:38

I never got as far as PESH.

maamalady · 01/02/2013 10:45

I can work out PESH, but what the hell is CRESH?

It's just over three years for me too. People keep saying "but you're only thirty, there's plenty of time", as if there's any way I can cope with this shit for another ten years. Idiots.

maamalady · 01/02/2013 10:47

HOTB said the other day that if the NHS waiting list for IVF is crazy long, we'll just take the hit and go private. We may be poor and in debt to everyone we know afterward, but if it gets us a win I don't care. We can always remortgage, if need be.

rocketleaf · 01/02/2013 10:50

Hello! I am just popping my head up from deep lurkage to jiggle my boobs for SunnyJeffs win. Probably most of you won't have a fecking clue who i am anyway.