Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne ) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

[Northey]

I say, ariel, what beastly luck I hope the MRI is helpful and positive today.

jethro, is there any more news of the embryos? Are they all growing nicely?

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

I have had IUI cancelled now again.

[SinkyMalinks]

Why rie? Consultant issues again?

[EuroShagmore]

Rie Sorry that you are mizz about your dad. I hope the MRI brings positive news.

WTF is going on with your IUI? It's only squirting some spaff up you ffs! How can the hoz be making it this difficult?!?

Jeff how simply spiffing! What good eggs!

I've had a tiny bit of spotting overnight, so Droid is on its way for me. And then it's on to IVF. Yay. But meh.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

No this time they say I need to get some allergy testing done. Which is only sensible I guess. But u do wish they had said this in November when I first said I was wondering about allergies preventing surface. I was told no, don't worry about that by the nurse. Now the consultant has said they won't do anything until they get the ressults. I have no idea how long an allergy test referral takes

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Apparently the phone thinks the word surface is more common than diffage. Twat.

[SinkyMalinks]

We'll set Timmy on them.

In all seriousness, this is what pisses me off. If you had been seen properly the first time, this would have been sorted or at least in progress. Instead you got a pat on the head from a nurse and now you can't move on.

Five go wild with four letter words.

Cuntbadgers.

[EuroShagmore]

Wot Sinky said, particularly the last bit.

What allergies do you think might be preventing diffage (or surface)?

[alwyn]

"Cuntbadgers."

Awesome. Simply awesome. I personally like the Bottom term of "wankbiscuit".

rie, have some very un-MNetty hugs from me.

Work situation is picking up - had an initial phone interview this morning and have another face-to-face tomorrow. There are irons in fires and I'm feeling quite optimistic about getting something soon.

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

I have quite a dramatic allergy every now and then but no one knows what to. No one has ever suggested allergy testing before, even though I was given an Epipen last autumn. I spoke to FC nurse yesterday and mentioned it, and she went away and spoke to the consultant who then said today he's not treating me until I have the testing results. This could take months and months and I am so worried about my age and crappy AMH levels. I started to cry on the phone and she said "I haven't upset you, have I?" Actually, yes.

[Northey]

Stupid wankwitted nurse! Why can't faify retrain as a speshul gynae nurse and look after us all? She would never say such a schtooopid thing.

Will it definitely take months, for certain? I know private iui funding might be hard, but could allergy testing be cheap enough that going fast and private might be an option?

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

I don't know. I am currently too weary to think about it. Weltschmerz, that's what I have. Weltschmerz.

[EuroShagmore]

FFS. Is it really too much to expect these clinics to get their flipping acts together? Grrrr.

Well, Droid has arrived here. I just called the clinic to book in for my day 6 scan on Monday. I reckon I'll be at EC a week or so after that. Eek. (Sorry Rie I hope you don't think I am rubbing it in.) I'm just a bit in shock that it is all happening, finally. This is cycle 28 for us.

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Oh Rie that's just utterly shit . Honestly, you expect better of fertility "experts".

Sorry about droid Euro

Any more news on the egg-lets Jeffers?

[HavingALittleFaithBaby]

rie that's beyond crazy! I hope they get themselves sorted pronto,

I dunno about gynae nursing....I can imagine it would be quite nice but I'm not convinced it would be any easier looking after you lot than my luffly demented patients

[Northey]

But faith, we are nicely behaved middle class children with side partings and t-bar shoes! How could we possibly be any trouble?

[HavingALittleFaithBaby]

You keep disappearing and getting involved with criminals of the underworld! Yet you expect me to pack you up with homemade lemonade and picnics all the time?!

[LPplusOne]

Ummmm...



Never read any FF nor anything remotely Blyton but can I still have some of that ginger cake?

Puleeeeeeeze?

[Northey]

Precisely, faith. We need a long suffering maid. I would very much like to be called Miss Northey from now on as well. And be allowed a go on the dinner gong.

Ok, ok, put the scalpel down

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Does the plus one indicate you have laid, LP?

[JethroTull]

Hags I need the collective power of BESH. We only have one embryo left. It's got to keep developing for us to have embryo transfer tomorrow. Please light a candle, throw some fish, say a prayer, send positive vibes etc. My new mantra for tonight is It Only Takes One.

Rie, just these xxxxxxx

[Northey]

I fink she has been plusone for a while, name-wise. Not that that means she hasn't laid now of course

[Northey]

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

It only takes one. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO. IOTO XXXXXXXXXXXCXX

[FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn]

Rooting for you and eggy Jethro