Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne ) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

Morning! I went to sleep after posting on that Fred, so I am merrily oblivious to what was said. (tellmetellmetellme pleeeeease) It can't be much worse than MNHQ deleting it but replacing it with b*y d*t :)

I will wee on a fiver to ease people's anxieties. Having had no sex I can confidently predict a bfn, unless I have been seriously misled about how to win one.

euro I am glad you had fun. Am sure de-stressing is a good way to prepare.

Thanks for the love hags!

What fred, what fred?!

Ah she basically offered you money to 'buy yourself a sense of humour' She thinks she is very witty....she also posted a link to her quiche in conception where complaining was complaining that people didn't get her funny joke...Ah well.

I wonder if the offer still stands. I could take a paypal transfer and spend it on shoes.

It was only for 50p...has the thread gone poof?!

Frankel you are full of interesting horsey facts!

I have no idea why they have introduced those pens. When I first took Ovitrille last year, it was in a normal pre-filled syringe. Much better. And less wasteful too.

faif have you had your GTT result yet?

Which fred are you talking about?

Aw you can buy sod all with 50p.

Yes fred went poof - this was the thread deleted message:

Message from MNHQ: Really not in the spirit of the site to which end we're sprinkling (¯'?.¸(¯'?.¸(¯`'?.¸ :¦:-?:'"":?. -:¦:-? ?-:¦ Official Un -Mumsnetty Baby Dust? :-?:''''':?-:¦:- -:¦:-?:'"" ¸.?'´¯)¸.?'´¯)¸.?'´¯)

(sorry about the foul language but that made me :) - I love MNHQ)

dor, draf, it was in aibu and titled something like 'aibu to be bored shitless with 2www symptom spotters, who probably just need a big poo?'

Hehe MNHQ do have a sense of humour.

Looks like I missed all the fun.

That's a rival school, that sausage thread. We are the grammar school, and they are the secondary modern

Why not?

Btw hags, I have a very scary and important day at work coming up (might run on to tomorrow). Can't discuss til it's over but could do with having some fish thrown at me. Freshest catch from Kirrin Bay, if you please.

Good luck Twinkle. I've smoked you a kipper.

*Awkward alarm - I am on the elderberries (sausagey) fred as well as this one and I like everyone on both fred's very much and am now the fred equivalent of Switzerland

(i think that also means you give me all your money to "look after" in a neutral fashion )

Oops, didn't mean to knock you out. Sorry. Wake up! TWinks!!

So this day at work? how important was it?

(Good luck, of course x)

OK Cap'n Moll, that is awkward. I DEMAND YOU CHOOSE

Sorry, it was pretty bad form of me to mention it here, particularly the rival school thing though it was also bad form of her to start that other fred. We'll say no more about it.

Rie - rival schools was funny as I had just written myself in as the cool drop-out kid with the motorbike who hangs out in the diner and is mates with everyone, and breaks up the fistfights.
Yeah.

Anyway, we're not just some common old grammar school. We're Malory fuckin Towers innit?

Aw, shame I missed that fred. I once started a "busting conception myths" fred, here in conception, and got accused of "spoiling the fun" for newbies Apparently my experiences had made me bitter (well, duh!) and that I was dragging people down and should basically p*ss off to the Infertility boards in case my barrenness was contagious . Thankfully plenty of people leapt in that poster, but all the same.

"Heeyyy!"

I'm very sorry, Moll, I know I said I'd say no more about it and I am actually serious here, but I just had a little look at your other thread and if the woman in question honestly can't see that she said some seriously off things, especially to Twinks and the ten-years-TTC woman, then she really needs to have a quiet word with herself. The initial OP was quite funny as I said before, but subsequent digs certainly were not. She also doesn't seem to understand that just because she has been lucky enough to find a group of women with a similar sense of humour about it, which has developed into the in-joke of sausage wanging, it doesn't mean that everyone else will find it funny. It pisses me off that she is accusing everyone else of not having a sense of humour about it. You don't start threads laughing at women who are getting their hopes up for a pregnancy after years of disappointment, possible ectopics, MCs, invasive surgery and treatments etc. They can laugh at themselves, sure. We have in jokes here - fish, lesboerotic violence, 2WOOFLing, dildocam action etc - but we wouldn't inflict it on some poor cow who has been TTC for ten years and expect that she would laugh as much as we do.

Phew. Sorry, I am a little hot under the collar.

I remember that thread, Norf. I remember bellowing like an angry gorilla when I read the "You should hide out in Infertility" post. MrA was most startled.

Yes, posh boarding school, innit? I suspect we're more like St Trinians

Huzzah! Get cook to pack us a picnic with cake and lashings of ginger beer, I don't have gestational diabetes! Pickle is growing spot on for dates and heard a good heart beat :) I am a happy bunny.

Here, Twinkletoes, have this beyootiful fish for the next couple of days.

Or this one