Five and the Mystery of the Declining Fertility - the BESH engage the services of the Famous Five to track down their baybees and finish with lashings of ginger beer. Topping!

[ArielThePiraticalMermaid]

Morning everyone, just let me wolf down this amazing meal of tinned tongue, hardboiled eggs and ginger beer (don't you find food always tastes so much better outside?) and we'll toddle off on our latest adventure. We'll make sure Anne does the washing up (you'll make a proper little housewife and no doubt the fecund mother of four fine sons one day Anne ) and us boys can have the proper adventures! No, not you George - you're nearly as good as a boy but not quite. Leave the actual procreating to me and Dick. Woof woof! Shut up Timmy!

Do you need new glasses Rie That's the second time in the last day you've got me and Norf muddled

Well done on the non-GD Faith. Have a large portion of treacle sponge and lashings of custard to celebrate

Sorry, Frank.

There hasn't been enough Famous Fiving lately, you rotten lot. Where's Timmy? Humping the postman's leg again?

Oh do come along Rie! We're all going to camp in the ruined castle and we've been waiting simply ages for you to show up with the tinned sardines!

Anglerfish are amazing. I heard of some guy who caught one, then showed off to his friends by stoking his arm in its mouth (it was already dead). The teeth angle backwards, however, so he couldn't get his arm out again. They ended up having to saw through the hinge of the jaw to open it up sideways to get him out...

I lurk in Infertility and Adoption quite a lot these days. I don't think I have much faith in IVF. Speaking of which, I still don't have a letter I shall have to pester the nurse tomorrow when I go in for my swabs. HOTB is seeing the doctor for his Dread Lurgy too, so he is under instruction to enquire about the referral too.

I asked a question in Infertility once. I didn't get one answer so I figured it didn't have as much traffic as needed. Or maybe it's because I'm dead unpopular

Pester, pester, pester, Euro!

Now, to the ruined castle. Last one to find the treasure and catch the smugglers is a big girl.

Frank that might have been the tread that led to my only ever deleted post on MN. I told the poster who suggested we should eff off the the fertility board. That she needed a slap. She really did. She upset a lot of people. But she obviously reported me cos I got deleted. Cowbag.

Have we been infiltrated by a SPY? What the Famous Five do? (More seriously, I hang out in another quiche too - the 10+ers. I found them when I still thought the BESH were a bit scary>

Draf I occasionally have a look at Infertility, but I don't see it as my natural home. I am only prepared to label myself as infertile once we have given up. At the moment, we are still trying.

The queasiness is back a bit. Hmm. I just had acu which has calmed me down a bit about tomorrow.

Ooo, we have multiple multiple-quichers! How very revolutionary

Oh yes, and here's my favourite fish for Twinks :)

Do you hear the people sing?

Sorry, I've been saying/singing/writing that ever since I saw les Mis.

No, can't hear singing :(

Well, I can, But that probably wasn't what you were after.

(third best film ever made after Jurassic Park and Terminator 2)

whereas I can't get

It's driving me wild.

It's a good song. But they don't have a fish.

I've got Defying Gravity from Wicked stuck in my head.

Good luck with the application!

Eek! I think droid is here! Or is it just a big splotch of blood? How do I tell what is full flow? I am meant to start injecting on CD2, but HOW AM I MEANT TO TELL WHEN IS CD1?

I was told that CD1 is the first day of bright red blood before midday. If it doesn't appear until after midday, then the next day is CD1.

Have you considered the "cigar test" to check for more blood?

To be fair, I appreciate your problem. My droid often starts with a bit of half-assed spotting for a couple of days before the red blood comes. Makes it hard to work things out. Does the cigar test involve loo paper rolled into a cigar shape and, er, inserted?

My Scary Thing is a big court case. My evidence is pretty essential. I didn't get on today and I had booked tomorrow as a day's holiday to take MIL to the hospital for follow ups. Fuck it sideways with a spade.

Yes - I did it in the disabled bogs until the paper ran out, but there was no more blood coming. Hmm. Will see what turns up later.

Snot CD1 then norf.

Arse s winklywoo. How scary for you and what crapola timing :( hope it gets sorted tomorrow.

at fish paste. The drucks are making me feel queasy. They have also given me a bit of an upset stomach. I have made 4 loo visits today so far and I'm anticipating more. I have a client dinner tonight at a swanky restaurant, so this is not ideal.

Twink that's annoying. You're not going to be at the Bailey are you? I could wave from my office if so (although not tomorrow, cos I'll be Wimbledone having a big needle shoved up me).

Norf I agree with what Frank said, although I was told 3pm was the cut off time.

Bugs I've had the stabby fanjo pains a few times. I think it is "something happening" down there.

Ooh, is twink a big professional judgey type as well?

No-one works by me. I have no-one to wave at :(

Don't you work near HWHNN Norf? He's over at the MOD on Embankment.

Well golly gosh I've missed some high japes haven't I? I've done some digging & have managed to work out (with Timmy's help) that there's been some disagreement?

Euro hope you make it through dinner without too much trauma.

Definitely not CD1 if droid doesn't turn until the afternoon Norf I know this because same thing happened to me & I had to phone the clinic.

Hope tomorrow goes ok Twinks

I've just signed up for this could be interesting.

well, jolly spiffing evening to you all chaps. I think Timmy may be guilty of chewing my shoe. Terribly naughty of the young chap.

Sorry for the complete silence the last few weeks, I seem to have hit a bit of a wall on the emotional front that no amount of smelly fish will cure unfortunately. We've been referred for that IVF business, probably wont happen for the next 9 months or so according to my hospital. Since Christmas there has been one friend had her baby and three announcements of expectancy and another friend who I love to pieces but am finding it incredibly hard to look at because she just has the most perfect bump is getting bigger by the day (but knows about my barreness and is very good actually and is sensitive to the fact that I don't want to talk about pregnancy sometimes and other times I do).

I just cannot take any more, the world really needs to just stop and wait until I get my head around my barreness. To top it all off my mother talks constantly about 'when I get pregnant' even though I have explained it's unlikely, IVF or no IVF.

MATV also just had a text to say an old school friend who was due to marry this year is expecting so wedding is postponed. I am going to take myself to the doctor's next week when work is a little less manic to see if I can be referred for some counselling I think, I am in serious danger of getting overwhelmed by it all and my moods seem to go from hysterically happy to rock bottom can't get out of bed. It's not good.

I've sort of been half lurking and see there is a newbie so hello . I'm Tipps, TTC since June 2009, have been on clomid for three months but ditched that now. We are 'unexplained' I think, they aren't really sure what's stopping us although I do have a stupid condition which affects the hairs in my fallopian tubes, the drs seem convinced that shouldn't have been preventing us for three and a half years.