TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

lemon I'm sorry Christmas was cak. It must be really tough to think things are ok only for it all to resurface again. But my own experience of grief has been very like that. Like ever decreasing circles. I think you have done amazingly well to get to where you are in a short space of time. I can only imagine this happening for you, hopefully very soon.

buzzy pavlova update?

viv I am a charting degree holder. I think charting is great at confirming ovulation, predicting when your period is due and as a good record of cycle lengths, getting to know your body. Beyond that I think it has potential to become very stressful. Lets face it, the thermometers we use are hardly expensive. The way I see it, fluctuations and dips could be due to sleeping with your mouth open, a cold night, a restless night, taking it a bit earlier/later and so on. Try not to worry. The way I got over my futility friends addiction was to think that inevitably I'd find out I was pregnant with or without charting and that spending hours looking at galleries was making me more anxious. Hope you haven't been too bothered by it.

euro I did Internet sales shopping as had eyed up various things I wanted and watched like a hawk these past couple of days. I've done very well! I'm well kitted out for serious 2013 yoga. Sorry about the John Lewis (I think you said) gulp moment. I don't go in any children's shops now at all. Online all the way!

art I totally get the getting your head around having a baby thing. I know I'd be the same. I'm glad you're still around.

I'm stuffed. I have put on weight this Xmas! This is a good thing and will keep telling this to myself. Had a bad 20 minutes on infertility blogs of DOOM earlier but have given myself strict talking to. I've been doing fertility yoga today. It is off the scale woo.

Loves to all 10 plussers and fancy tail feather styling.

Thank you, ladies for your input re temping. I agree it is entirely pointless charting if, like me, you know you are ovulating and have regular, predictable cycles. I do not know why I do it. Every month I tell myself quite sternly to chuck the fucking thermometer away - there is absolutely no knowledge to be gleaned from those luteal phase temps except to warn that AF is on its way. I shall throw the thermometer away promptly after I've checked my temp is back up tomorrow

Rabbit, congratulations on your charting degree; I have a PhD in spunk semen longevity [smug look]

Whilst others have been queueing for the Boxing Day sales I have been camping out in the doorway of my gym (sad bastard) since...ooh..Christmas Eve? I felt frigging marvellous after just an hour of weight training tonight and could literally feel the calories melting away. It was glorious replacing them almost immediately with a giant Toblerone during Emmerdale.

I have deliberately avoided the sales. I didn't fancy being elbowed in the tits by deranged Chinese students and Lebanese dictators' wives. However, I was treated to a calf-length duck down coat from Zara (DP - it almost made up for the bastard smoking again) and a goat skin tunic top reduced from £120 to £30 on t'internet! Hurrah for my chain-smoking, bleeding-willied, performance-wretched DP!

viv temping does have its uses, its helped me work out my non ovulating months and saved me stressing in the 2ww, so don't through it out quite yet

rabbit no pavlova, I have enough crap to eat

I'm an online shopper, but can't think of anything I fancy right now, did buy some more wool nd a little gift for Barry.
I'm out with my Canadian friend tomorrow so i'm a wee bit excited as I haven't seen her since last xmas

hello loons, what the fuck is up with the rain situation? I have been here a week now and this is all I see past or future for my visit apart from the daily supply of wines...
viv oh well lots, chart, just put it out of your mind, post ov charting will not tell you much, it doesn't mean you are not pg. Also, 40+ thread has been an interesting one for lots of reasons (I'm 40) but your home is not necessarily the place with your age on it As to the 'trying for the last baybee' yes everyone here right now is trying for their first bio I think (thanks euro I have one - adopted). There have been a few folk here trying for a second but no one right now, i think. You just have to plough on, you can clearly do it and there it no reason why you this will not work for you as grim and shit as the process is. Welcome, welcome.

rabbit art lemon neo buzzy joy (do hope you feel better) teu critter buzzy nelly gin mrsden loves to you all and those that I've missed.

viv for the record .. me 40 him 47, one adopted child, 15 years married and living overseas in insane places. More than a decade TTC on and off, no assistance ('unexplained') until IVF last month, failed and nothing learnt (no problems revealed).

More waves and smiles to all.

Aaaaargh!! AAAAaaaaaarrgh!! AAAAAAaaAARRRGH!! Raaaaaaa...! [gnashing of teeth and glassy-eyed]: A 44 year-old woman with three kids over on the Over-40 thread has got a BFP!! Aaaaaaaargh!!! (etc, etc..)

Why did reading her amazing news feel like a knife through my heart? I should be happy for her, right? I hate her, I hate her, I HATE HER!!!

viv I see i x-posted with you on the temping. Its hard to walk away from I know. almost shag free too though

oh let me go and look ......

[A-a-a-a-a-nd breathe!] Akua, thank you for the welcome and for sharing your history - another warrior by the sounds of it. I would very much like to escape right now to somewhere insane overseas. A bunker in Kabul would be preferable to the torturous cesspit of despair where I am currently living in my head

I went there, but you get to take your head with you
Stay here with us. x

viv I temped for a while. I did find it useful but I stopped because it was stressful and so easy to analyse every single temp which actually isn't useful at all. I started out on a charting thread, it was depressing for me because every one else got pregnant after a few months. It's hard to feel like you're in the same boat as someone trying for their third or fourth.

I agree with what rabbits said about things getting a little easier. I feel as far away as ever from having baby but I don't have the overwhelming sadness and rage I felt at 12 months in. I think it's because I've reached a sort of acceptance. I know this won't happen for us without intervention so I don't have the cycle of hope and despair every month. I know AF will arrive so it's not so gut wrenchingly awful. Christmas time is hard though, and this latest set back we've had has upset and frightened me. I know at some point this year I'm going to have to confront my fears over never having children. If I'm being totally honest with myself, I don't think we will get to be parents. There seems like way too many obstacles in the way. I think we have to give ivf a go though and then reevaluate. I don't think I can carry on being in ttc state because it is such a heavy place to be. I don't think a childless life will be awful but it will be a very different one to that I'd imagined and I have to find a way to cope with everything I'd thought ending up being different. I don't think that makes a lot of sense but I hope you understand what I mean.

This is my update, it makes depressing reading for me.

TTC 30 months. Me 31, DH 32. Started investigations after 11 months and no hint of a BFP. Discovered that DH has very low count and poor morphology. I was told I have pcos. This didn't surprise me because I knew from temping that I didn't ovulate every single month. We were told ICSI was our best hope but were advised to have genetics tests before to rule out any genetic reason for the low count. The tests took months to come back, but thankfully were all clear. We were supposed to start ivf this month but the scan at the clinic revealed I have fluid in my right tube. This DR said that the first gynae probably mistook the damaged tube for cysts because it looks like pockets of fluid. I now need to have a lap, and probably the removal of the tube before I can start ivf. Hoping lap will take place in January.

Hello lovely 10+ers!

What a balanced and impressive post, mrsd. I really hope your thoughts about not becoming parents will prove wrong. But being able to write that, seeing the other possible life and not going to pieces, I think is impressive. The facing up to "this might never happen" is on the lemon household's cards for the year too. I agree that endless TTC is too heavy to bear.

I shall put my fingers in my ears and sing LALALALA about the 44yr old's fourth child. And repeat, it is not her child I want and it has no bearing on how long it will take for ours to materialise.

Links to the wool, buzzy? I just got some of this: www.knitrowan.com/yarns/pure-wool-dk

Here's the badge euro! Very impressed with sale shapping. I shall take a leaf out of the tinternet shoppers book, buzzy and viv. We braved IKEA yesterday, and spent the morning assembling (and are not yet done). Oh well, another job for tomorrow. SB is out with a friend and I am cooking lamb stew, so the house smells lovely. After my mahoosive Christmas wobble, I am back as myself, I think. Feeling okay :) The butcher commented that I seem to have lost weight, so clearly not post-christmas pretend diffed. Although he's not seen much of me since running and rowing and working loads. So he's a little behind the times.

Do tell more about fertility yoga rabbit! It is on my try this year list. I completely fell of the yoga-wagon. At my hardcore version, they don't want you to come while diffed, so I dropped out in August, but I never went back, because I couldn't face explaining why I hadn't been for ages.

Stay here arte until you're completely comfortable with diffedness. And do give us updates. It gives us hope. Sneaky hi to the lurkers princess you're still there? And mellow?

Sorry about it-all-being-too-much comment, pout. But it seemed so unfair after the move last year, the rocky period in between, you just getting your craft emporium started and then bang the top of the waiting list, combined with a renewed bout of househunting. (And possibly more, but I forget). I just really hope the excitements of 2013 will be of a positive kind for you. A BFP, followed 8 months later by a baby.

Waves with the much more perky tail-feathers to you all, sorry for incomplete name checking, thinking of you!

Viv, my name would be pronounced nay-oko-san. I found it really difficult choosing a screen name, EVERYTHING I went for was already taken. In the end I went for a character from a book I like (Naoko) with san being the Japanese word for miss (because, of course, just plain old Naoko was already taken. Probably from a smug preggo haha).

Sorry about the BFP announcement on the 40+ thread. I don't really know anything about temping, i don't do it because I'm sure I'd get confused. And I never sleep right through the night so not sure how accurate my result would be.

Doll - the rain here has been incessant! What I'd do for a cold, crisp, sunny, frosty day.

Rabbit - do you online fertiliy yoga? Or classes? I do normal yoga but know there are poses that are good for fertility but would like to do a full class.

Lemon - really sorry you had a crap Xmas.

Buzzy - well done on the cleaning spree and thanks for your reply. A 10 day LP, yes, but 7 days of that had some kind of spotting. I miss the days (pre-pill) when my period started with a bang, lasted 5 days and then disappeared. Now it's more like spotting for 7 days, light bleed for 2 then some more spotting to round things off.

Currently waiting for yet more family visitors to arrive. I'm looking forward to new year when it's just me and Mr N again. Bah humbug.

mrsd big hugs what an amazing post, don't give up. Can I ask silly question, if they remove a tube,can they still give you the drugs to get the mature eggs from the ovary?? or do they remove them as immature eggs ????

gin IVM is an additional £1000 on top of your cycle according to Creates price list

viv Any news on your temps ??

lemon I love rowan wools, what re you knitting, I usually buy from ebay as they are bit cheaper than the shops if you know what you are looking for, I've got some lovely 'homespun' looking wool to knit Kayla a radiator blanket that fits in with the decor

nao I know what you mean about 'normal' cycles mine have not been the same since my last miscarriage a year ago, mine are spotting for 5-7 days so kind of blled for 36-48 hours then spotting again the spotting usually gives me hope at the beginning but I now realise that this what mt cycles are like. Hope the visitors don't stay too long

Hi all

Nelly it's good news that the review letter didn't come up with anything problematic. Onwards and upwards, after the fab honeymoon of course

Nao I have relatives in Japan and I think the -san suffix is used for both men and women to show respect, so your lovely name probably means something like 'Honourable Naoko' . AFAIK it's the length of your LP that matters rather than the date of ov but other people may have better information. I typically ovulated on day 18-20 of a 30-ish day cycle and was concerned about what I thought was a short LP but none of the medics were remotely interested in my views on that! I am also a spotter, for 3-5 days before AF and several after, but again nobody thought that was relevant either . I hope the rellies don't outstay their welcome. We've had nobody to visit at all over Christmas because we are miserable feckers and we didn't invite anyone

Viv I charted for about 6 months. It can be really helpful but equally it can be a complete headfuck. I think they key is to concentrate on the broad pattern your temps create rather than obsessing over individual temperatures, because as others have said the individual temps can be thrown out of whack by any number of things. However if you find a way of doing that I am sure we'd all like to know how you manage it. I spent hours poring over my charts and obsessing over individual figures and in the end decided it was too much, however it was helpful at the outset to establish roughly when ovulation was happening, especially as it was later than i had thought. And step away from the 40+ thread. I've got no sympathy for anyone on their 4th child irrespective of age.

Mrsden when they get your tube sorted your chances with IVF will be exactly the same as anyone else's. I do get the feeling like you will never be a parent though. But miracles do happen. Hang in there .

Good work on sale shopping Rabbit! You'll be a very stylish yoga bunny through 2013. I was eyeing up a few things online but by the time I made a decision my size had already gone. Hopeless. I am too much of a ditherer to be any good with sales! Well done on the weight gain too

Buzz AFAIK the tubes don't affect egg maturation or egg collection at all. My consultant said that having IVF would simply take the tubes out of the equation. I would think the process without a tube would be exactly the same as it is with them, because they are simply bypassed. You must be smitten to knit a bespoke blanket for Kayla, though i can see why, she is gorgeous . I've got a beautiful cushion a friend made for me, well it was lovely until the cat decided it would be good to sleep on and pull holes in with her evil little claws. Thankfully the friend is a cat lover herself so thinks it was sacrificed in a good cause but I was a bit when she came round and saw it.

Lemon I'm sorry you had such a shitty Christmas. I think ours was good mainly because we avoided small children and preggos (still can't think of myself as one of Them) and anybody who might talk about fertility, and basically holed up on our own with a stack of food and films. Aaaaaaah at the yarn porn, I love Rowan wools. My yarn stash is embarrassingly big - I am really bad for buying lovely yarn in sales (the one bit of sale shopping I am good at) then not having a clue what to make with it. I have actually made a list of everything I've got with weights and quantities and am now scouring Ravelry for appropriate patterns to actually use it. I'm not letting myself buy any more until the stash has gone down a bit. That is harder than it sounds . I'm considering getting a Rowan subscription with some of my xmas money as a way of feeding my addiction in the meantime. It's a good job Mr A is not annoyed by the clack of needles or our relationship would have been short-lived

Doll this weather is indeed shitty. Have you had a good break despite it? We were planning to go walking lots over the holidays but it's just been too grim and I'm getting cabin fever. I've been sitting on the couch of an elderly relative today and put away another massive roast dinner. If I have any more I may actually turn into a roast potato. I am going to defy what I think is probably over-cautious medical advice and go to the gym tomorrow otherwise the size of my arse will entirely eclipse the size of any baby bump by the time it arrives .

Loves to all other 10+ers absent or lurking, hope everyone is well and that those who have had shitty or poorly festering seasons are feeling better. I love Viv's idea of us all as warriors. I've now got a mental image of a Boudiccan army replete with war paint, Rabbit's fancy tail feather styling and sparkly knob accessories, wielding sharpened pee sticks and thermometers at our foes

Oh, how I wish I could step away from the Over-40 thread. I am here to ask for your help, please, with the following post, which I have cut and pasted from over there and which has been written just today by the same 44 year-old who has just got her BFP. I feel ugly and wrong for pasting her post here but I am seriously on the verge of screaming:

'Thanks ladies for all your good wishes. I didnt do anythin different to get the bfp, so just lucky I guess. Physically, I feel fine just tender boobs and some cramping. However, DH is devastated by the news, he's adamant he doesnt want another baby. He cried. We've been together 11 years & I've never heard him cry. It was awful. We can't even discuss it properly as MIL is here, so we both sat in the car & sobbed. Needless to say, I'm pretty distraught, he was depressed all through my pregnancy with DD, because of it, &.says he can feel it starting again, & I don't want to put him through, or go through that myself again, as it was pretty miserable. Sorry about the me, me, me rant, I'm on my phone again as it's the only chance I get to post.'

I feel so irrationally furious at this woman for having duped her poor husband (who is in his fucking fifties) into this baby - her fourth. I can not believe that she (and others on that thread) is willing to put her 'need' to 'complete her family' before her marriage and the sanity of her husband. However, I am acutely aware that this is absolutely none of my fucking business and I have no right to judge who does and does not deserve the joy of a BFP. But fuck me* I'm angry. And resentful. I'm jealous, obviously, but mostly I am appalled that any of us (ie. me), are capable of losing our minds and our values in this manner on the course of this journey. How dare^ she put her husband through this? She's not the only one, either. The 46 year-old with five kids already is secretly taking Clomid she's purchased over the internet without her DH's knowledge.

Who am I, though, to suggest that what these women are doing is wrong? Am I going completely mental? Am I losing my grip on what is 'acceptable' or 'not acceptable' on these threads? Am I even entitled to an opinion? Why can't I stay off that thread? Why do I feel these women are so undeserving of yet another baby? I don't have the monopoly on yearning. I need to get a serious grip of myself and I am hoping that you can help me see more clearly as I am typing this through snot and tears. I feel fucking wretched. Please help. I am a hateful witch who ought to be gassed

Lemondrizzle, thank you, thank you for this: it is not her child I want and it has no bearing on how long it will take for ours to materialise.

How do I start to believe it?

Oh Viv. I'm sorry you're feeling so shitty, and that this woman's post has knocked you for six. First things first: you are not a hateful witch! We have all had feelings we're ashamed of amidst the misery that is long term ttc and have all felt the pain of seeing someone else get the BFP that we so desperately want, particularly when we're having to work so hard at something we spend our lives being told should be natural. That is normal. Feeling jealous and resentful is part of the deal. You have my permission on that one - don't feel bad about feeling bad, that only makes the shitfest worst.

So for me it's about how you handle it so you don't make it harder on yourself. On the envy thing, I think Lemon is spot on - you don't want their baby, you want yours and there is not a finite number of babies in the world so whether or not someone else gets a BFP is immaterial. My two-pennorth on this matter is familiar on this thread, a piece of wisdom I was given by an older, wiser relative which says that if you are going to envy someone, you can't just envy a part of what they've got, you have to want the whole package. So you can't just envy this woman her BFP, you also have to want the deceitful way in which she got there and the shit storm she has created for herself in undermining the trust and quite possibly wrecking her marriage. It doesn't sound quite so appealing when you think of it that way.

FWIW I do think that what those women are doing is wrong - deceiving the person you are supposed to love in something as major as having a child is selfish on so many levels it's crazy. Whether I have a right to voice an opinion about it, though, is another matter. I don't personally want more than one child (which is just as well) but I don't know what it's like to feel that kind of longing when you already have children. She must feel pretty desperate to have gone to that kind of extreme and in a way I feel sorry for her that she couldn't work it out with her husband some other way. The fact you recognise it as wrong suggests you very much still have a grip on the whole thing!

I think we have all found the need to separate ourselves out from the all-consuming beast that is ttc and remind ourselves of all the things that are great in our lives despite, and often because of, the fact we don't have biological children. I hope that doesn't sound patronising - it's not meant to be, but the good stuff is easy to forget when you get bogged down in the yearning. For example, one thing this thread seems to have in common is really strong relationships with our other halves and you sound like no exception. A man willing to make his penis bleed for you has to be one in a million . Something else that people on here have found helpful is life coaching. I haven't done it myself but Buzzy has and I think a few other previous posters so they may have a bit more info. It does seem to be really good at helping to deal with the negative emotions and find your perspective.

I don't know if any of that has been any use but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Sending you or and hugs and hope you manage to untangle some of your feelings - and again, don't feel bad about it - this situation is just so hard.

Posting from my phone so won't be saying too much but has been a while and i wanted to check in.

viv first of all hello. i don't think we've met yet. secondly please take a deep breath. we have all felt horribly jealous and guilty for it. as long as you recognise that the jealousy is often irrational while also being completely understandable you will be able to deal with it. as for the thread, can you not his threads on here? I wish i could hide bloody maternity tv shows from the telly that i keep watching despite knowing that i need to walk away from as it's rather pathetic and does nothing to make me feel better.

Here's my story so far - also slightly depressing reading.
Me 34, MrM 37. Ttc 2.5 years. tests started after one year. suspected endometriosis. lap scheduled but acute fallopian abscess developed before getting to top of list and emergency surgery last xmas. many appointments and tests prior to second lap 2 weeks ago today. stage IV endo diagnosed and left tube removed. on decapeptyl to shut down ovaries until ivf hopefully in the next 3-4 months. sorry that was long!!

Will wave to everyone for now and write properly when not on teeny tiny screen that is very frustrating to type on.... happy weekends to all

rabbit I feel the same - I am still sad but less anxious and stressed by ttc than I was at 9 months or a year into it. I am very disappointed that we won't get there without assistance, but I am more accepting of that than when I embarked upon my disastrous IVF cycle in the summer.

nao have you tried acu for the spotting? (BTW, my dive guide in the Maldives earlier this month was a Naoko. She was a bit scary.)

viv I think deceiving your partner into a child at any age is wrong. I can understand why you are angry. But lemon's words are wise ones.

I am a charter too, but I am a bit lax these days. I tend to take one or two temps at the start of a cycle, just so FF knows a new cycle has started, and then skip temping until I am close to ov, take a few days of temps to confirm ov, and then stop until AF is almost due as I find it helpful to get a day's warning that the witch is on its way by the temp drop that precedes it.

morning ladies :)

I'm feeling a little fragile today but had a great time last night, bit of a nightmare getting into London due to all the planned engineering works but worth it in the end. I had a great chat with my friend who told me her little nephew was a DE, and he is gorgeous. So I am in two minds about spending £4500 on using my own eggs first as that would pay for DE overseas

vivIn my own personal opinion and that is what this is..... what a sad cow that woman is, she might have kids but the rest of her life sounds a nightmare. What is there to envy??, she needs 4 kids to feel her 'family is complete' she sounds like a very unhappy person within herself and no amount of kids will ever change that. As for him being duped isn't he just as responsible for contraception as she is????? Whats the point in having 4 kids if they don't have a dad around, she sounds childish insecure and selfish.

You need to stop reading the thread and think about yourself, make plans and not just TTC ones, in a few days its going to be a new year :), what would like to achieve besides a baby in it. You need to concentrate on yourself and surround yourself with what makes you feel good about yourself, not that toxic thread, you need to remind yourself that sometime in the near future you're going to get your own BFP and you and your DH are going to be thrilled about it as your baby will be planned and wanted and totally loved. I don't read other TTC threads sometimes lurk on the Pred thread and the SO one as I used to be on it, I usually look at the AIBU that can be hilarious at times

art you have lots of baby things to start knitting, booties hats blankets etc, i love ravelry I already knitted baby things so might as well knit for the cat now ooh hot water bottle covers are always good gifts and are quick to knit. Kayla uses my lovely and expensive NZ sheepskin cushion as a substitute mother

euro love the squirrel pics

viv I do have life coaching and I swear by it, I went from being totally depressed to a total optimist, it does help me put things in perspective. There have been a couple of other changes in my life, changing my role at work, getting my spoilt little kitty I recommend that one!!! I still have the odd low point but I haven't cried about my TTC situation for months now nor do I stress about it as much either, I know somehow I'll get there in the end, just not how I planned

Hello ladies, I'm finally back in the land of the living wifi and have survived Xmas, the evil AF and the funeral, managing not to sob extra loud when the great grandson (courtesy of my younger cousin) was mentioned by the vicar!

Sounds like Christmas has been a bit of a mixed bag.

joy I hope you and Roy are both feeling better now. How rubbish to be so poorly on the C day. I can't believe SIL's gift. She was probably trying to be kind, but I'd have thrown the bloody book at her! It's the last thing you want to be reminded of.

lemons yours sounded a bit rough too. Big hugs and hope you are feeling better now. I def look Xmas diffed. I also put on weight after the first ivf cycle, so not sure it's all mincepies and gin related. A new healthy eating regime will be embraced in 2013...

artemis can't believe you are 8 weeks already lady! Wow, amazing. I'm so excited on your behalf. And pllllease don't go anywhere, we'd miss you. You are also our reminder that ivf can work! I'm also pleased to hear that I'm not the only one who lives with a drunken man child :)

buzzy all your crafting sounds amazeballs. I wish I could knit etc but it's just not my thing. I think I glimpsed a radiator blanket on FB - you're a talented lady! Oh and on the more boring matter of AC, when I was having a good dig about on create's website, I noticed that they give you 30% off ivf if your other half is willing to donate sperm... I don't know what the age limits etc are, or if it's something mr buzz would be happy doing, but poss a way to get it a bit cheaper?

euro I did some sale shopping on-line, I'm ashamed to say on Xmas eve! Must stop buying clothes... Need to save my ££s for AC, but having a non-mummy wardrobe cheers me up!

mrsd hope you are doing ok.

Welcome viv. Stay here, away from the other Freds. I can't bear to read the bus ones. Too depressing. Any baybee wins on here are very hard won and very much wanted by both parents.

Hope mrsnellie is enjoying her honeymoon and far too busy doing it to read MN!

I hope the lovely sar is ok. I totally understand the need for a break, but miss your lovely, thoughtful posts.

Waves to rabbit, teu, nao, doll and everyone else.

Now it's after Xmas, I'm keen to crack in with our next AC cycles. You ladies are all so patient! I'd like to do the FET next cycle, if we're allowed, swiftly followed my some DS iui. Then I'm booking a big fuck off holiday and will start to look properly at adoption. I think I'm being spurred on by the fact that 2 of my friends weren't drinking at a Xmas party. They both got married this year, so it's expected, but will ruin the group of friends we see the most :( I'll just have to start going drinking with the boys to avoid the pregnant wives!

Over xmas, we had a night at the PILs and i had a really good chat with mil. Apparently Dave took them 2 years to conceive and so she has a really good idea of how we feel. It sounds like she may have had poly cystic ovaries or something similar and had to chart. I didn't know they charted in the 70s! Anyway, she was great and I luffs her even more now (and they offered to lend us ££s again for treatment, hurrah).

Will post my bloody depressing stats below..

Me 34, Dave 33. TTC 2.5 years. Crap sperms - v. low count, poor morphology and motility. 2 rounds of mild ivf with icsi at Create in April and Nov, bfns. The last cycle we managed to get a spare embryo to blastocyst, which is now frozen. Planning to do a FET in the next few months and when if that fails, iui with donor sperm. If that doesn't work, adoption or baby stealing!

And waves to critter! Hope you are having a lovely time en famille.

Right, I'll bugger off now and stop being a Fred hog

gin liking the baby stealing idea glad you're MIL is being supportive in all ways, ha we will need to hit up the PILs if we are to try with our own bits then move on to DE, MIL told me she had to inject blood thinner into her stomach when pregnant, I too was a bit as I didn't know they did that in the 70/80s. Thanks for the heads up on the 30% off thing, I'm not sure how he would feel, but he didn't really object when I said I would happily donate my eggs for cheaper IVF before I realised I was too old so something to think about. My friend said that her SIL and another woman shared the DE so they paid 50% of the IVF costs, that was in Canada though.

Just been to Sainsbury, its so much more civilised than Tesco