TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

sar I have told my boss that I have a gynae issue and a small op coming up - all true (egg collection is a small op) and there is definitely something up with my gynae bits. I suspect she might have guessed, but I don't feel the need to discuss it with her. Could you say something like that to work? i.e. you've had a small op and timed it before the start of new job (making you seem oh so considerate) but you will need to leave to have the stitches out and attend some follow up appointments.

BTW, I would guess the 6lbs is probably due to the constipation...

Euro - goodness me, I didn't realise this was THE cycle. Wow, I know this is a very natural cycle so I gues you are feeling well physically. But how are you feeling inside? Excited? I always feel excited for people prior to EC. All that new hope. It's our version of starting ttc in the normal way.

Thank you for your wise words. You are 100% right. It's all about the slant I put on it with my boss isn't it. I need to use the negotiation skills that we use in work anyway and apply it to my personal life. Just now I emailed my new boss to say I had an op on Monday. They knew I was due one but not when. So I hope this gives me brownie points as I said I ws recovering well and that I will be in Monday as planned. They already know it is gynae stuff. You are right I need to apprear consientious when asking for my time off. I will say there will be follow up appointments although the dates are not yet set as they need to monitor my cycles and I will do my best to fit them around work and not disrupt work. What more can I say. And if they really really don't like it, I might think twice about staying which in my sector they wouldn't want as recruitment is difficult. But thank you Euro, I will think carefully about how I present it. I am a human not a robot ad that applies to all of us.

Art - I say listen to your instincts. You are going to need to trust them more and more over then next few months about which way to go. And it is fine to do one thing and then change your mind again. I think you will know when you are in that class whether it feels ok or too much. But listen carefully to your instints - sorry I am a bit of a bore with that aren't I.

Yep, sar. In a month's time I should be in a nervewracking 2ww with an embie on board.

Actually, one of my biggest fears re: going natural and only having one egg to play with is there being no embryo - either no egg, no fertilisation or it doesn't make it to transfer today. It will feel like a completely wasted cycle. But then i am not doing so well keeping the eggs inside, so that thinking doesn't really carry weight.

Euro - I understand your fears. It's all a gamble, even with loads of eggs and loads of embryos. Different things can come in to play. Your egg doesn't have to share it's ovary with many other big eggs so it's potantial for being strong is good. If you simply have a problem with the egg travelling to where it needs to be then with this process, your chances are normalised to 25% chance of success I would imagine at least. And for you they haven't found problems with your eggs or sperm so it sounds like a little re-direction maybe all that is needed here. Stay positive. You are a good candidate for this treatment. xx

Wow, lots and lots of message to catch up on!

Viv ? I?m so sorry to hear about your awful weekend ? I hope that you work it out with DP and find happiness.

Madness ? fabulous news about your April appointment, here?s hoping that time will fly by

Funny ? I live in the South West as well (south of Bath/Somerset border), we?re being referred to Bath Fertility Clinic.

Buzzy and gin ? Can I join the losing weight bandwagon? Managed to lose 1 stone last year then put on almost half a stone in the last couple of months ( eyes bigger then stomach birthdays, Christmas and work parties to blame). Current bmi is 29 ?

Mrsden ? Me and DH talked about his varicocele over the weekend and he said he?d quite like the operation. Apparently it gives him pain most of the time but he?s so used to it, it just feels like a constant dull ache. He?s got an appointment with the GP on Monday, so he?s going to approach it from the point of view of being in pain and then add in the bit about it affecting fertility.
Not sure what the waiting list is like for a varicocele operation compared to the fertility clinic?!

Just found out last night that 2 of our close friends are expecting their second baby. DH is godfather to their first child and I know they?ve been trying for 2 years for their second so, on one hand I?m really pleased for them ? but on the other hand, I just feel like ?they?ve already got one, why should they be allowed a second?? And then I feel like a horrible b*h for not being able to be 100% happy for them.

I honestly have no idea how all you cope sometimes, I have utmost respect for all of you on here!

Waves and hugs to critter, sarlat, joy, doll, pout and lots and lots of other people (really really sorry I can?t remember/find everyone?s name to check!)

Just popping in to say viv I would third the advice above about asking for an HSG to check your tubes. It's less invasive than a lap, it doesn't involve surgery or anaesthetic but will confirm whether your tubes are clear which is worth knowing before you continue clomid or start IUI. I had to insist on mine as I got conflicting advice from consultants - the main man said, as yours did, that it wasn't necessary as I had had a previous mc, but his registrar's view was that they should perform an HSG after 3 cycles of clomid before prescribing a further 3 (6 cycles is usually the maximum they will prescribe). I know there are several ladies on here and on other boards who have had tubal problems despite previous pregnancies and there being no other indicators of potential problems so I felt it needed to be checked in case I was one of the rare cases with unexpected problems. Mine were clear but that in itself helped us make the decision to move onto IVF, since there was no medical reason why we hadn't been able to get pg naturally over the previous 18 months.

Hope that helps. Waves to everyone else. Sar, when I had to tell people about IVF appointments I said I was having a minor operation and needed to attend related checks beforehand. I didn't say what it was for and nobody asked. Hopefully the hospital will be able to schedule bloods and scans early - all my scans were before 9am which helped. Medal looks great with the earrings and pyjamas

Sar, I was about to give you the speech about how honesty is the best policy at work and how women are naturally very understanding about other 'women's issues' and then I remembered that, actually, women can be complete twats. So..I second what Euro said. You don't know this boss well enough yet to unburden yourself entirely and you don't want to be that vulnerable so early into your new job.

Freedom, really wishing you the best of luck with your next IUI cycle.

Thank you Sar, Euro and Artemis for explaining the lap/HSG stuff. Really, really informative (I can't believe how generous you all are with your knowledge - not really had that before from previous threads). Not sure what an HSG is. Will Google it. Lastly, my appointment next week is with my consultant at the NHS hospital where I have been receiving my Clomid treatment. They know I am going to discuss IUI, however they have already told me they do not do assisted conception at that hospital. I am assuming, then, that next week's appointment is simply for my consultant to suggest a clinic for IUI. Do I ask my consultant next week about the HSG or do I wait to be referred to the correct clinic and then 'demand' it there? How much does an HSG cost? Will it be included in the cost of IUI? [ridiculously naive bitch emoticon]

LemonDrizzle, your post gave me hope. In my panic at being 41 I am always forgetting that getting pregnant (especially after a miscarriage) was always going to take time. Thanks for the reminder - and the detailed description of the IUI process.

Dswills, you really should beware using your real name on mumsnet (I'm Kerry, bye-the-way) Welcome. I hope your stay is a short one.

Viv I would ask your current consultant about the HSG. It's a test, not assisted conception, so they may do it there (or he may be able to refer you elsewhere) and you might be able to get it on the NHS. It won't be included with IUI. Mine was NHS funded but it took months to arrange so I started looking into getting it done privately. i guess costs will vary but the prices I found were £300 - £450 (I'm in the north of England).

FWIW there are stories of women getting pg pretty quickly after an hsg, the theory being that flushing the tubes might clear debris, but I couldn't find any research and AFAIK that is purely anecdotal. That's what I was hoping would happen (clinging desperately to unevidenced hopes as always) but we ended up moving to IVF on the same cycle so my tubes were redundant anyway.

Hope that helps. I can't imagine why people wouldn't share their knowledge on these threads - I kind of imagined that's what they're for?!

hi euro yes ive seen my gp and had a bloodtest and it came back normal and told me to start taking folic acid.
Viv this isnt actually my real name altho sarah is but not my username.

Dswills, I was just messing with you, love

Artemis, thank you, thank you. Crumbs. £300-450 is fecking expensive (for us). Don't know what to do now [sigh]

Hey, Artemis, I'm oop North, too! the arse end of back-of-beyond East Lancs Rossendale Valley.

ah ok viv sorry im new to it and wasnt too sure lol

DS was your partner tested too? What bloodtest did you have?

no just me and not sure what blood test it was think may have been a routine one just to check that everything was ok. This might be a silly question but im having a cervical screening in next couple of days as woman do and was wondering if anything would show on that or would it not. Sounds bit silly but was wondering if anyone knew or not.

Not having read the last page, I wanted to quickly reply to you sar. First, yay, you are back. Although I totally see the need to take time off, and hope it has done you good. I am loving the thoughtful caring and agreeing with me sar back on board.

Right, new job and AC TTC. As you all know I started a new job last summer. In the end I was actually pregnant whilst starting it (and for a while before I was convinced my IUI would fall on the first day in). I drove myself mad with worry before the job started. I was lucky and had the IUI on the Sunday before. But I was thinking and worrying and panicking about the next cycle already.

Then the BFP came. Frankly, the new and exciting job, which I really love, became much less important. Of course that went wrong and I lied and pretended and called in sick around that. Nobody now seems to have noticed or worried.

With the past two IUI cycles, I have tried to fit around work a little. But it is impossible. However, one way or another you will make it fit. The desire, the hope is too strong. But as there is no guarantees in this game, making the most of your career is a good plan. Regardless of the outcome. And it does keep you occupied whilst your waiting and hoping has fingers firmly crossed for busy TWWs for myself here

So what I am saying in a really long-winded way sar. I think you're right to have gone for the opportunity of the new job. I think you've been lucky to get the lap out of the way before. And I think you'll find a way to manage FET somehow. Because you need to. Worrying while you're eating my homemade very good dunking biscuits with your bottom in the air won't make it easier to manage. So for now focus on your recovery. You are an amazing person, who will have her baby, meanwhile you can work on your career and stay here to support us as well.

Right, I also second everything euro suggested, sar. And I am making notes for if and when we move onto IVF. We have a review appointment after this cycle, and will decide afterwards (maybe on our FarAwayHoliday).

Welcome wills. In my response to viv not so long ago I mentioned the basic fertility tests you could/should/would be able to get done after a year. Those are blood tests for you, day 3 FSH and LH, day 21 progesterone; after that maybe a bit of dildocamming to see whether stuff grows in there, and whether you ovaries and womb look roughly normal; and absolutely definitely a SA or two for you partner. So go back to your GP and demand more, if you want answers!

Oh and arte on tales of exercise. In my clinic they are keen on the continue as usual approach and BFP cycle I did loads of exercise, also post-IUI. I did find running very uncomfortable soon after as my boobs HURT, but I tried to keep up the swimming and cycling. So I say follow your instincts with sar.

Wow euro ET withing the month if it all goes to plan. It really seems to speed up for everyone on this thread and I'll be stuck in the IUI-treadmill for a little while longer, I guess

Fourth IUI was my lucky one freedom crossing everything for you!

Penguin good luck with the return to your GP with your partner. Poor man, to be in a pain all the time. That sounds terrible!

Waves to all the rest of you!

sarah welcome

lemon thank you for the info :)

sar I can understand not wanting to tell her and if she is new then it is hard to gauge how understanding she will be. Maybe play it by ear. Is this with a different trust??? The one thing that has been said where I work is that appointments that can be made out of work hours should be and that the time needs to be made up and if the appointment is more than 2 hours then we should take it as half day A/L.
I'm pretty sure most bosses can work out who is likely to start a family and who isn't, and that can not be held against you. I told my numerous bosses as
a) i don't care what anyone at work thinks, their opinions don't matter, most couldn't care less what I am doing anyway, everyone has something going on

b) I wanted their support and understanding if things didn't work out as planned and things needed to be changed at short notice that they would be flexible with that. I also found that even my bitch boss let me take the days of my scans (when I had my first miscarriage) as hospital appointments so I didn't use up my A/L or take it as S/L. I have been surprised at how helpful and supportive some people have been at work. Its nice to be able to talk freely about it with people in real life.
If the economy doesn't improve here and Barry is still looking for work then we will consider a move downunder.

euro that was my concern with going natural instead of mild, but you only need one good egg and you have plenty of those :)

gin hated LOR so will skip the hobbit then

penguin I am on slimming world which has to be the easiest diet to do. I did find an old weight watchers card that said my goal weight was 60 kilos. I weight 58 when I first got married and people thought I was bulimic ha there is no way in hell I will ever be that thin again, but I too need to bring my BMI down although I did manage to get pregnant around this weight.

Well I've had a hell of a day at work thank goodness tomorrow is one day closer to the weekend My FSH is now back to 6.9 although my E2 was only 84 and I remember Shehata saying that as long as it was under 170, but he didn't say if there was a number it should be above
I have filled in my form for my DE and I am going to email a clinic up north. I am feeling quite optomistic right now, not that this will be my month but that I am getting closer to my month, I even looked up some baby names yesterday :)
Kayla is sulking as I will not let her in the kitchen

waves to everyone

DS I really think you need to go back to your GP (unless you are happy to try without investigations for a while). Your partner needs to have an SA (or better two because they can vary quite a bit). I'll add my experience to what drizz mentioned. The normal first line investigations for women are FSH/LH on days 2-5 of the cycle and progesterone on day 21. My GP also did a general blood screen to check for anaemia, thyroid issues, etc. After that in my case I was sent for an internal ultrasound and a HSG (where they squirt radioactive dye through your fallopian tubes to check that they were open). For us, everything came back normal and that was the end of the investigations - we were referred for IVF. Cervical screening won't show anything fertility related, just whether you have pre-cancerous cells on your cervix (but obviously it is valuable for that reason!).

Buzzy, when you say your FSH is 'back to 6.9', what was it previously and is it the case that this score can change, then? [optimistic face emoticon]

Evening ladies,

I have quickly skimmed over today's posts and wanted to check in.

sar I hope that you are feeling a bit better tonight. I think everyone has given good advice on the work front. You go with what feels right. Pursuing your career is important, as is giving the fet yr best shot. When this is all over you'll know that you've done your best on both fronts with what you were given. You'll have no regrets . Oh and welcome to my endo club. Sorry you're joining me but it sunds like it was minimal and by removing it they may very well have improved your chances of implantation. The doctors really don't understand why endo affects fertility the way it does. There is so much more to learn.....

buzzy my work issue is that I can book appointmts for outside school hours whenever possible but if I need to take time in the middle of the day, the children aren't there when I come back to make up the hours. Thankfully I also do home visits so there is some flexibility there if the parents are willing to swap dates or times to suit but most of my time is spent in schools. I would love to book days off when necessary but I'm not allowed annual leave during term time. Not that I am complaining about my holidays!!!!!!! They'll be perfect when I have kids of my own to take care of

lemon I agree with you about keeping busy. Nothing worse than sitting around with your thoughts during stressful times. Particularly not when the Internet is at hand ready to lure me into damaging googling and watching of unhelpful programmes about other people and their easy updiffedness.

euro my fingers are already crossed for you for the next cycle. If you're not much of a carb person (that was you wasn't it?) I make a wicked hazelnut cake with lots of egg whites and no flour that must be good for protein. I shall send some your way

dswills welcome to the group. Definitely go and chat to your GP. My friend was trying for 5 years for her second and just recently had success with nhs fund IUI but you need to go and get the ball rolling. Good luck.

Lots of crying today and hot flushes. Will be able to collect the hormone replacement tablets tomorrow and really hoping that it gives me some stability for the next few months. I cried at a funeral advert today on telly......

Big tired waves to art joy pout rabbit viv freedom penguin and anyone else I've missed. Off to bed. Only two days to the weekend.

viv yes your FSH, LH and E2 change probably every month, last time it was 9.2, last April it was 1.8

madness sorry about the tears, big hugs

ThanK u for the advice of to the go tomorrow hopefully get the ball rolling

Madness I'd love that recipe if you are willing to share.

I am a carb lover, although I try to eat fewer simple carbs than I used to. But I am currently wheat free. I tried it in November to see if it made any difference to my energy levels and that is the cycle when something odd definitely happened (I was tired and nauseous, and my acu thought something might be going on). The only thing I had done different that month was cutting out the wheat. Mr Euro is convinced it is entirely unrelated, but I thought I would give it a go again in the run up to IVF.

Sorry about the crying. I hope the HRT gives you some relief.

Hello everyone, just checking in while on my lunch break. So much to catch up on so sorry for not name checking more but I hope you are all well.

Sar ? Well done on getting through your Lap. I?m glad things don?t seem to be as bad as you?d first thought and I really, really hope you get that post lap miracle BFP. I also hope you get your work situation sorted, I completely understand your views on the whole thing. Lots of good advice from the other ladies on this one, do what you feel is the right thing.

Viv ? Sorry you?ve been having a rough time with your DP but glad you seem to be getting things sorted.

Critter ? Sounds positive for your cycles returning to a more normal place, hope things continue that way for you. No Japanese connection, I just liked the name of this character from a book I was reading. I do love all things Japanese though. My favourite kind of food!

Madness ? It does indeed sound like you had a positive appointment, sorry about the roller coaster emotions, that?s not fun. Hope your HRT straightens things out for you.. The 2nd of January off is an absolute godsend, I am NEVER ready to go back to work the day after NY. This year though I took off the 3rd and 4th too, so wasn?t back until the 7th. HEAVEN!

Hello to our latest member, Sarah.

Add me onto the frugal lunch gang! I always try and bring my lunch in to save buying expensive, filled with crap sandwiches etc. Usually leftovers, sometimes some homemade soup or salads and always cheaper and tastier than stuff bought from the canteen. I quite like causing colleague lunch envy.

Not much happening with me, Day 15 of my cycle and having lots of EWCM so at the positive and hopeful stage. I went to the doctors who agreed to take some blood tests. They said the first step is day 21 progesterone test and if that is ok they will then do the other blood tests.