TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Morning

Sorry for the tears rabbit, sometimes stuff just hurts. Hope you feel better today.

Joy _ wow you are nearly there, really excited for you and well done with juggling work.

Got home at 9.30 last night. I was first on the list and was inflamed theatre about an hour and half we think. When I woke up I was in a lot of pain so I was given a shot of morphine -lovely. I slept most of the afternoon and got the shock of my life thr first time I got up to use the loo. Waaaaaah-the gas pain in my belly and shoulder was immense. I know many of you have had laps so maybe I am just a wimp but I could barely walk and had to be wheelchaired down to the car when it was time to go. Even now I can't stand or sit for more thsn 2 minutes. Lying down is the only way to ease the pain. Anyway that will pass. Did others have similar experiences?

The wait for the consultant when she was doing her rounds was torterous. I was really scared what she would say. The verdict is that dye ran easily through both tubes and spilled. There are no blockages or swelling of the tubes. She did say the tubes look a bit red and not as healthy as they could be. This may mean that the fine cillia and insides of tubes may not be optimum as something hss aggrovated them at some stage. I appear to have a very different picture to what the hsg implied I.e. tangled with scarring and partially blocked and swollen. It is a real mystery.

Then she went on to say there was a patch of stringy endometriosis on one of the ligaments on the left side. My consultant didn't seem to think that would have any impact on fertility anyway. She slso attempted to widdn my cervix. This was tricky and "not easy to navigate". She could only widen it to 5 or 6 mm which isn't great but a bit better for the next transfer.

I asked if I was now in the unexplained catagiry. She said it was multifactoral with lots of minor things getting in the way. She said my tubes could get me pregnant but not easily. I dont know what the other minor things would be, endo maybe.

Overall I am relieved as i won't need further surgery and pleased the tubes have a bit of potential. But I don't think the lap itself will increase my chances of natural conception. But I am trying to trust my instincts as time again they havd been right despite what the drs said to me. Also hsg is supposed to be fairly conclusive. Maybe they just got it wrong. Or maybe my body healed to some extent with the reflex, acu and maha massage.

The consultant wants me to proceed straight to fet whenever I want to and has suggested a medicated cycle this time. Im wondering about doing stimming only and not downregging for the next fet if they will let me. My consultant doesnt even want a follow up appointment as there is nothing more to add.

Least I know that there wasn any toxic fluid interfering with my 2 embryos but this also leaves a bit of worry about why 2 high quality blastosyts didn't take. But musnt get ahead of myself.

Think we will leave 1 full cycle before fet to allow full healing and just see if a post lap miracle could happen. Rabbit have I earned my medal.

Love to you all and thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts yesterday. X x

Sar I hereby proudly award you your lap medal of honour that is totally fantastic news! This is very hopeful and it could be that a lap has cleaned your tubes and it wasn't toxic fluid but just bloody bad luck. An easier transfer might help too. Well done you. Sorry about the gas pain. It is shite. Mine peaked on Xmas day so three days after the lap when it finally hit my shoulders. I don't think sprout gas helped! I lay on the floor as it was the only place I could get comfy, it's a yuk stabby trapped wind feeling. Peppermint cordial, whilst foul, did really help me, could you get your hands on some? Mine took about 5 days to fully dispel. Same for big op too. Massage is good at easing it a bit. Rest rest and double rest yourself.

hello everyone, I'm rushing in as I should be hard at work. The nurseries and schools are closed for two days due to this damn rain storm. Everyone is quite excited by the novelty of it all. In a city and has faced protracted combat on the streets, numerous assignations and aerial bombardments, weather-related closures are unheard of. In practice it's a total pain in the arse, as I'm trying to hang out on MN work from home with a 3 year old.

But anyway... sar wow, well it's over and sounds good. Does it feel like a good outcome to you? Apart from the gas pain, sorry horrid, I didn't suffer myself but know it's bad.

joy exciting times. I know what you mean about carb folk and protein folk. I'm a protein type for sure.

mrsd have you got one a nice lunch box with sections in it? I does make all those bits of left overs look like they were meant to be Next time with the soup (on in the soup) have a protein, it will fill you up for longer. But then I am a protein person

rabbit sorry for the tears. I'm one of those cry at small things not at big things people. Very annoying yes I have cried at work, though not current job yet By the way, on the adoption and ex issue, it won't count you out, it happens alot that ex's are not contacted for one reason and another. Like many things, the issues that you fear and expect to be a big deal don't matter and then something that you didn't consider turns out to be a pain. No one looks up your chuff, so that's a plus

Madness, Freedom, Buzzy, Akua, Rabbit, LemonDrizzle, Euro, Jocep, Gin, Sar, MrsDen, thank you all for your concern.

Euro, you're five days into the 2ww. Please remind me - what treatment did you just have? Was it a sixth round of IUI? Can you tell me in detail about the IUI process (if you or Freedom or LemonDrizzle can be arsed?)

Joycep, I can't help feeling that the universe is bending over backwards to cooperate with your IVF treatment - the timings of the tests/scans and the 8-minute distance to the clinic but please stop antagonising the nurses! Ireally hope this is your time, love.

Freedom, you were 16DPIUI on Sunday - pure torture - any news? Last night my period arrived at 15DPO and I was not impressed. Clomid has delayed ovulation by two days and now decided to lengthen my luteal phase. Downright unnecessary.

LemonDrizzle, much, much luck for tomorrow!

Madness, I hope the timing works beautifully in your favour around Mar/April.

Rabbit, yours and my tears are not, I fear, helping certain regions with their flooding issues. Chin up, my love. We are warriors.

Hmmm...the BBC4 documentary about making babies. I couldn't help feeling that the chief was a cavalier, patronising bastard and his female embryologists a little too giggly for my liking. Get on with your jobs and stop fucking about, please. The 24 year-old embryologist proselytising about her fertility fears made me want to howl with rage. I don't think laughing should be allowed in a fertility laboratory

MrsDen, I liked your grading of 'worst case scenarios' regarding your fertility. Michael's relapse has taught me that living out the rest of my life without children is not the worst thing that can happen to me. It is losing Michael to alcoholism. It is losing myself to alcoholism. It is losing my family, my sanity, the love of my life. Sar, you suggested 'people are complex and good people do bad things'. This is the first thing we learned in rehab. Michael turned up at my mum's yesterday - I had the shock of my life - two trains, three buses and an on-foot odyssey. He stayed for an hour and I discovered the thought processes and emotions behind relapse. Gin, you were right...Michael has not been drinking 'for months' - Saturday was the first time. I knew this in my heart because His behaviour and moods have not been erratic and I have never once smelled alcohol on his breath (and we kiss alot). He has thrown himself into his new job in a way that has made me so proud of him (he hasn't worked in five years thanks to addiction).

I eventually asked him to leave my mum's and when he did I was broken. I ached for him. Half an hour later I rang him and he was about to board his first train. I told him to wait, that I was coming...
We are looking to a future together - wiser, stronger (hopefully) and with a little bit more respect for the power of this horrible addiction. I have learned that we are not 'special'; just because we conquered rehab and the last 2.5 years does not mean we are immune to complacency or heartache. Saturday could so easily have been me staggering around our house. I have found myself thanking God that it was Michael and not me. I have thanked God that we have been reminded of the insidiousness of this addiction and that we are fallible. We have been shown the consequences of hiding our thoughts and nostalgia for the good old days.

I told Michael that he needs to think very hard before deciding to give us another go because if he doesn't learn to deal with his stress more effectively he is in danger of another relapse (which, he knows, I will not stick around for). I have told him in no uncertain terms that there could be another four years of my yearning for a baby. I cannot see that, despite my perspectives shifting a little, I am suddenly going to stop yearning. He has to know that and he has to devise ways to deal with the concommitant stress. I told him I want him to unshackle himself from every single habit-forming action: smoking; energy drinks. I have told him I don't expect him to quit smoking immediately but I've asked him to come up with a date in the very near future. He quit energy drinks immediately. I've told him he must still go to his footie matches. He needs the release and football is not a trigger - stress is. I love him more than I have ever loved any man and will fight for this relationship. I've realised I want him more than I want a baby. Of course we will continue on this ttc journey but I have decided to not take Clomid this month. I want to see the results of my day 21 bloods after not having taken the drug; I think this will be useful knowledge when I begin IUI soon. I've also set up my new CBFM for the first time and wanted to give it a fair chance of deciphering my hormones without Clomid being present.

I'm so sorry for the long post. I'm shit with synopses.

This was it mrsd (I know you probably can't access iplyer progs but it has th full name etc here). www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01ps8yc/Baby_Makers_The_Fertility_Clinic/

I was the same rabbit - no reason to think there might be a problem and have led a pretty sheltered life. But I was still relieved to get the results!

sarlat wear that medal with pride! I don't recall having the gas pain after my lap at all, but it was a long time ago now. I have had terrible IBS over the years and I found laying flat in loose clothing and massaging my belly a bit helped. How odd that they didn't find what they were expecting with your tubes. They have been going on about them for so long! As you say, maybe whatever the problem was has cleared up now. I wonder why they think medicated FET will help.

Viv this is my last unassisted cycle for a while, so I didn't have any treatment. I have had 2 natural IUIs in the past though. For me, they were pretty simple. I had an internal scan around days 11 or 12 of my cycle to see how things were going, then I peed on ov sticks. As soon as I got a positive I callend the clinic and booked the insemination for the next day. It was fine - just like a smear with a slightly bigger audience (consultant, nurse, spaff dude (never found out his name!)).

Indeed euro no international access to iplayer

Euro, thanks for the info and much luck for this month.

Akua, where are you in the world and what are you doing there? Ignore this question, of course, if the matter is too sensitive to share here.

Hi everyone

Been reading lately but not finding time to post - lots going on with everyone on here. Work has got in the way of my MNing which is tedious when all I want to do is lie on the couch all day eating maltesers and cultivating my post-christmas torpor.

Joy wow you're doing amazingly, particularly coping with all those appointments to fit around work. I feel I got off lightly with drugs and scans etc but with all the monitoring you should surely have the best chance possible. Do you have an EC date yet? From memory, when my follies had got to 17mm they decided on an EC date 4 days later so we had time for Mr A to clear the pipes! Milk makes me boak but I coped with it in the form of a gallon of Green & Black's hot chocolate every day

Madness terrific news on your IVF funding. I felt the waiting was the worst part, good to just get on with it.

Gin good news that you're keen to move forward with the FET. You've come a long way from never wanting to go through it again

Viv I'm so pleased you are back on track with Michael. I think men find the whole ttc process far harder than we sometimes realise - it's not necessarily about being 'macho', my DP is the least macho man you could wish to meet but he felt bad about not being able to give me a baby (even though we were 'unexplained') and it sometimes resulted in unhelpful behaviour. I'm sure you'll come through this stronger than before. Skipping a cycle of clomid is probably not a bad idea, apparently it also stays in your system for a while so can have a beneficial effect for a few cycles after you've stopped taking it.

Doll nurseries shutting down due to rain... that's just not fair given your rain-soaked sojourn to the UK. How are you feeling now about another round of IVF?

Sar I hope you're wearing your lap medal with pride and that the pain subsides soon. It's great that they have given you a much better report than previous consultants might have anticipated - no fluid is brilliant news. Proves you were right to insist on the lap rather than go straight to tube removal. Hopefully it should give you more confidence about the next FET. I'm sure that for you it's just a numbers game and a matter of time.

Mrsden not long to wait now for your lap. Given Sar's lap result I do wonder if there are many women who have asymptomatic endo that consultants do not routinely look for.

Buzz good news on Barry's job - and looking into NZ visas, that sounds exciting. You've certainly left no stone unturned in your ttc research. If you went for surrogacy would that be using the surrogate's eggs or your own?

Lemon FX for the next round of IUI, glad you are feeling better on the Gonal F. We were told to cut out all caffeine during the IVF cycle and subsequently. Now I've got used to it I'm not really bothered but it was a painful wrench at first. I do love coffee.

Euro I just at 'spaff dude'. There's a job title to be proud of!

Critter how is Project Scrooge going? I always have that plan but find January hard going so end up spending money on little treats.

Pout how did you get on with your first IVF appointment?

Funny, did you decide what to do about your grandad's ring?

I'm fine, climbed down from the ceiling after last week's panic though still been worrying about the amount of cramps and quite severe pains I've been getting which tend to wake me up in the middle of the night. Saw the midwife today who thankfully said it's normal, just the ligaments stretching and some of it is constipation. I think back in nostalgia to my last normal poo which must be getting on for 2 months ago now. The booking in appointment was dull. Lots of form filling basically. She didn't even ask me how I was feeling which I had foolishly imagined might feature somewhere

I can however report that the conflicting information and unhelpful duplication of effort that I so loved about ttc remain a feature now. I had the HIV, hep B etc tests before IVF - so only a couple of months ago - but now I've got to have them all again because the midwives are apparently incapable of ringing the clinic (which is in the same PCT) to get the results. Either that or they think I've suddenly got into high risk shagging or intravenous drug taking in the last few months. She had a hack at both arms but failed to wring anything out of my fugitive veins so I've got to make another trip to the hospital for the pro vampires to have a go . I've also had directly conflicting advice about activity levels - the hospital said to cut out the cardio and weight training I was doing and stick to swimming and walking, whereas the midwife said carry on as normal . I'm going to book a weights class this weekend but take it easy, not sure I fancy running though.

I was going to watch the IVF programme tonight on iplayer but looks like it won't appear until it's been repeated very late tomorrow night, pah. I have a telly confession to make. I absolutely loved all the Lord of the Rings films, and the Hobbit, and I can't bear reality TV... Big Brother etc make me want to throw things at the TV

Waves to anyone I've missed, hope you're all well. Given all the activity on here I have high hopes of some BFPs very soon

thanks joycep, I'm fine. poor you though - all that running about.
rabbit - well done on having a cry.
my god sarlat. i know it's good news but the process sounds horrid. hope you are feeling better soon and you are super brave. impressed

For all the food comments, I am protein, fat, and carb person. I just eat everything so today I tried out my new trainers at lunchtime on a little jog.

viv - my experience of IUI - around cycle day 3 I go and see my doctor. He writes me a perscription for clomid (actually clomifen as I am in foreign lands but it is the same thing). half a tablet every 2 days. I am also on my woman hormone drugs. then, like euro I stop taking clomid at about day 11 I think and go in for a scan to see if there are any eggs. Usually, it is a bit slow. Sometimes so slow dr thinks it's been and gone, then a nurse rings me up all excited like its it's an easter hunt to say - no no, blood tests show you didnt grow an egg yet, come back in. Around day 19 scans show I finally manage to produce an egg. I inject myself in the stomach with Brectavid (hCG) and then next day DH produces a sperm offering in a cup, I run down the clinic with it under my arm to keep warm. Then I go have a nice coffee and breakfast whilst the sperm is given a good scrub. An hour later the sperm is injected via cathetar injection tube thing by a doctor up my fanjo into the womb where it hangs out looking for an egg. As euro says this is no more uncomfortable than a smear, just relax and think of nice things. Then my doctor shows me on the screen the white blob of sperm with a dildo cam. Then I put my kit back on and we have a chat about the motility of the sperm he just injected, usually it's a bit rubbish. Then we talk about whatever book I've got with me that month. Then we shake hands and I toddle off home to wait. The end.

Am watching the ivf programme. Fucking hell, the size of that needle! But I'm enjoying it so far and it's all ringing very true. Will read and catch up afterwards...

And their masterbatorium is right posh! The consultant actually called it that too..

so annoyed I can't get to watch that programme. I think I'd have really enjoyed it. I like to know all the details. I think that is actually the clinic we'd have been referred to if we still lived in the UK.

sar well done on earning the lap medal. It sounds like you're suffering a bit though, I hope you feel better soon. I'm not sure I know what trapped wind feels like but I guess I will soon enough. That's great news that your tube wasn't too damaged and not filled with fluid. I don't think a hsg is conclusive, that's why they like to do a lap if something doesn't seem right on the hsg. At least now you can move forward being confident that the tubes are not too bad.

doll I was thinking that they might as well give me a full body cavity search if they are going to call my ex.

rabbit sorry about the tears

sar glad you are home safe and resting.

viv I glad you and Michael have sorted things out, it is a stressful time, I know when I got stressed, Barry would to, we certainly are both alot happier now I don't get stressed

art I would use her eggs, otherwise I am paying for her to have IVF I was surprised to see that COT claim it costs £12,000 to £15,000 its illegal to pay so its expenses travel, clothes etc. For £15,000 I would have 3 goes at IVF myself

Didn't watch the IVF programme, Barry and I think we have had enough information on the subject. The job is good but its 1.5 hours away so long days travelling for Barry but all good experience.
I had an email from my former MIL telling me that my former FIL has died. So have sent an email to her and ex h. I'll send her some flowers tomorrow. Kayla has just eaten part of my lunch for tomorrow that I was letting cool so better go and find something else to eat

waves to everyone

Evening all!

Hooray sar for earning your lap medal and finding out that things aren't so bad . The shoulder pain was a bugger and they told me it takes a few days for your bowels to wake up. You will feel so much better when they do . I now accept that all of the scans can't really tell you what's going on in there. They just have to go in and see it for themselves. I think that this is going to make all the difference for you.

Sorry for the puffy eyes rabbit but a good cry is necessary sometimes. I am a bit of a crier unfortunately. It seems to take people by surprise though. I think that I come across as pretty cool and collected and then just crumble when the pressure gets too much. I always feel much better after a good sob though.

mrsd and doll not sure that you missed much with the show.... I like seeing how the whole process works but it's pretty depressing watching people getting negative results at the end. There are some good stories but the sad ones are more prevalent .

viv sounds like you are in a much better place and that you and Michael are working through some really important stuff. Hang in there.

Ooh naughty kayla!! I caught the neighbour's cat trying to sneak in our velux roof windows on Sunday. Cheeky so and so. He once snuck in and helped himself to my tuna pasta on the hob

Saw my consultant today. He was really lovely and for once it didn't feel like a rushed appointment. He talked me through the pictures of my surgery, which were gross, and then we talked about the drugs. He said the tube they removed was doing nothing for me and needed to go. The other tube looks fine now that they've drained the pus - sorry for the yuck factor - and the antibiotics should have taken care of the chronic infection. He still can't explain where the infection came from but MrM given a self swab thing to hand in to the GP at our request just to make sure that he's clear. It's unlikely i've given him anything since all of my vaginal swabs have been negative but he hasn't been checked for a while and it will put my mind at ease moving on to the next steps. Doctor's also giving me hormone replacement therapy to try to ease the hot flushes and other symptoms of downregging for the next few months so I'm feeling positive about things today

Waves to art lemon gin freedom joy and everyone else that I've missed.

Have finished the programme, which I did enjoy. Wish I'd seen it before my first ivf. It showed how routine it all is and it was lovely to see ladies looking so well immediately after EC! It's made me realise that i should be able to do the FET without sedation, although I will whine and moan if it hurts! The clinic looks really nice mrsd. Much posher than Create. I did get slightly damp eyed at a few points, mostly cos I identified so much with the patients' emotions (obvs I am a bit of a cryer, though never in public if I can help it!)

sar you certainly deserve your medal. I'm so pleased to hear everything seems to be ok and just shows how wrong they got it on the hsg. Must be frustrating that they didn't find anything obvious but you should try to see this as a good thing. I hope mr sar is looking after you and that the pain passes quickly.

buzz congrats to Barry on the new job, wohoo! Sorry about the ex FIL.

artemis pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better about things. Yay, everything is normal! I'm happy to do non-surgery, non-mad hormone treatment, just no full ivf. Was quite funny seeing the freezer on the bbc4 programme and thinking that's where our embie is. I love LOTR and the Hobbit too. Particularly when there are fit men with cloaks and swords .

buzz if you didn't like LOTR, you won't like the hobbit, it's more of the same.

Btw arte Mr A isn't watching the footie tonight is he?!

viv pleased to hear things are a little better. Hang in there lady. I agree that ttc has made me realise I want Mr gin more than I want a baby. With the male factor infertility, it's something I have to keep reassuring him about.

doll at a bonus of adoption being no chuff traffic!

rabbit I too occasionally think about how I've cried more in the last couple of years than ever before. That's partly why I'm giving myself a limited timescale for treatment and then moving on. Hope you're now feeling a bit better.

mrsd wish there was someway I could share the bbc4 thing with you. I guess it's not the type of thing that will be on the TV shack type websites!

X post madness sounds like a positive appointment.

Hello everyone

In a grump at work, not enjoying being back dealing with the usual crap at all! It's been busy, hence not having as much time to post.

sar hooray for a great and reassuring lap. I am so sorry that it was so painful and that you are still suffering now, but what a wonderful result, much better than you had feared, and hooray for being able to plan for the next FET with confidence. I have every hope that 2013 is going to be a good year for you.

rabbit oh I am sorry my love that you had a big cry. You have been so cheery recently and I am so sorry that it's all got to you. Big hug.

viv sorry that you've had such a rollercoaster ride. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now but it's great you have such good family support.

buzz I am sorry about your FIL. Kayla sounds like she's being cheeky, nicking off with your food!

mrsd sorry about your headaches, they are the worst. When is your lap? Do you have lovely snow where you are at the moment? I ate a lot of lebkuchen over Christmas and thought of you.

euro I can't believe that it's all happening already. Where are you in your cycle?

freedom a reading frenzy and hot chocolate sound like heaven and a great way to stave off the CD1 blues. Onwards and upwards!

madness amazing news about the IVF date. I predict a Christmas cracker!

art sorry about the pains - that sounds quite scary. I am glad that all seems to be going ok though, irritating appointments aside. Willing you to get past the 12 week mark safely, so you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy. One step at a time.

gin soup sounds yummy. My mission this year is to try to become a really, really good cook. I'm always impressed by the delicious things you make so am going to use you as my inspiration! Also, I found an amazing blog called 'Homesick Texan' and am going to try to make fried chicken tonight.

lemon you are being a hero with your patience sticking it out with the IUI. I tip my hat to you. I really think it's amazing how you've dealt with this crap. You have had a horrible time but the IUI did work before so it should be able to work again. Stressful about the short cycle.

joy I can't believe that your EC is nearly here already. It seems like the time is flying by. Your treatment sounds pretty intense - you are being a champ to manage it all with work on top.

doll I haven't tried it but my pals here use something called 'expat shield' to watch iplayer stuff internationally. No idea if it's totally dodgy or not. I think the BBC should charge a fee to watch their stuff abroad, I would definitely pay to subscribe to their programmes. I can download radio stuff with no problem.

Project Scrooge continues apace with lots of frugal homemade leftover lunches which I see is a trend on this board. But it will spectacularly crash and burn next week when I am off to Florida for a poetry seminar . I seriously can't wait, I have butterflies about it from nerves and excitement. MrC is tagging along too, which will be really nice.

I'm on CD 11 now and dutifully charting but not expecting to ovulate for a while as I used to have really long 6-7 week cycles. If they have come back for good, I might not ovulate for another two weeks, until CD28 or so. I'm also going to wait until I get a second period before emailing my IVF doctor to explain why I haven't come into the clinic as planned. I'd feel pretty silly if the Christmas period turned out to be a one hit wonder, but I had jumped the gun and sent him an 'I'm CURED!' email.

Gin yes the football has been on! Jubilation in our house tonight

Rabbit I meant to say earlier sorry about the tears. Sometimes you just need a good cry. I never used to cry at anything but over the last few years I've turned into the kind of person who blubs at anything. I wonder if ttc stress sometimes means your emotions are closer to the surface. I hope you're feeling better today.

Thanks to all of you for listening and caring enough to respond. Mrsden, what country do you live in (or is that a none-of-my-business question?) Madness, how do you feel after your lap and today's chat with the consultant? Freedom, thanks for sharing your experience of IUI. Sar, I hope your pain subsides - how unpleasant - do you feel more positive about things? I must admit, when I read your post I didn't know how to feel on your behalf, if that makes sense

I am wondering whether I need to be asking for a lap & dye before we embark on IUI (are there any circumstances under which the IUI consultant would insist on one anyway?) The only exploratory work I've had done is the bog-standard scan of the ovaries and womb (which were fine) prior to being given Clomid. Very early on in my Clomid treatment the consultant said that, because I was pregnant last January, my tubes are obviously clear. Can I ask for some opinions about this, please? It is now ten months since my mmc. Surely there is something wrong? What if I go through three rounds of IUI and nobody thinks to do some exploratory work? Am I panicking unnecessarily?

Freedom, how many cycles of IUI have you had, please?

Morning lovely ladies!

Here's a massive bag of freshly baked croissants which in real life SB is getting on his way back from the clinic to cheer you all up, fatten you up for returning cycles etc.

Hurrah for the nearly all clear lap sar. But sorry about the lap gas. I discovered sticking my bottom in the air (in manner of downward facing dog - it is a yoga pose, not a dodgy practice) helped me clear it. I was totally uncomfortable for a few days. But it does pass. Massive well done and wear the badge with pride.

Viv I would expect an HSG, not a lap before embarking on IUI, if that is all clear, you tubes should be okay. If it is not, they'll recommend a lap and dye. Also, as you are over 40, there really is no need to panick about the ten months indicating something wrong, you might take longer to conceive. However, getting the basic fertility work (which is bloods at cd 2-5 and "cd21", HSG, and a bit of dildo camming, I think) done, seems sensible before spending your hard saved cash on IUI, which honestly, is not a miracle cure, and definitely not if your tubes were messed up for one reason of another. Oh, and I'll add my SO IUI cycle description for completion. I go in for a scan on cd2 or 3 to check there are no cysts developing. I starting injecting FSH (menopur or gonal-f) on cd3, every day, scan at cd 9, in this case there were two ready to pop, so trigger that night, IUI on cd11; last cycle was a bit more frustrating, as I got to cd9, just a load of follies around 10mm, 2 days later one of them was dominant, 2 days later, that one was ripe, trigger on cd 13, IUI on cd15. (Not all that late by normal people's standards, but my natural cycles vary from 25-28, but IUIs are often quicker, as they trigger just before the natural LH surge).

Commiserations on cd1 freedom, but you can do it!!

Hurrah for poetry retreats critter. And wonderful MrC is coming with you. I am keeping everything crossed for a return of The Egg.

Well done for a good appointment madness and for moving up that list. I hope the hormones will help you cope until then.

Pout where are you? I really hope the appointment went well!!

Really it sounds like everything is going well arte. So excited for you!! (Even if the advice is conflicting, but it seems the same when there ar children as well, how to raise them etc).

RIght, I should get ready if I want to do anything useful before IUI...

Waves to all of you, especially the ones I missed doll, gin, joy - things are moving fast, everything is crossed in the lemon-household for good results -, euro, mrsd, buzzy - cheeky Kayla, still so happy to see you so calm and collected -, and everyone else!

Hi my name Sarah been ttc for year and half n no luck.I got a lil girl whose 5 but since been trying my monthly is irregular bout two months apart lately and didn't know if anyone could give me advice on it.I'm due on in next few days but pretty sure its a bfn any advice would be great :-)

Viv - so glad things are settling down for you. Time is a great healer. I know what you mean about not knowing whether to pleased or not about my lap results - I guess that is a little how I do feel. I am very relieved and grateful that my tubes are not blocked and swollen as thought. But mildly dissapointed that there wasn't scarring (as predicted) between the ovary and end of the tube which was causing a mechanical block - I was hoping the lap would remove this and restore my fertility. But as my insides are clearer than expected I suppose I was a little bit shocked as I find myself in a new playing field a little bit more along the lines of multifactoral and / or unexplained. However according to some research removal of endo regardles of location can boost fertility. So we will have to wait and see. What I have learnt most of all is to try and trust my instincts. I'm not saying I haven't needed tests and help etc, just that when there is an uncertainty, sometimes the inner voice does know a bit more than we imagine. In answer to your question about lap before IUI I agree with Lemon. I agree it is unlikely that the tubes are damaged as you have previously conceived however I too had a spontanious pregnacy 2.5 years ago and then failed to conceive since then. Although I now know my tubes aren't blocked, they don't appear to be in great shape and the theory is that the miscarriage (although naturally managed and mostly uneventful) may have aggrevated my tubes and caused some reduction of function. This it seems is rare so don't be frightened but ruling out all mechanical problems before embarking on IUI and IVF is sensible as Lemon suggests. Especially if it is your money. I also agree with Lemon (staring to sound like an election campaign) that 10 months of ttc isn't too long considering you had a mmc (and presumably interventions) and the emotional and physical recovary from that and your age being over 40. An alternative therapist such as a homeopath, accupuncturist or reflexologuist would probably tell you that is no time at all. Although for us of course it is an agonisng wait. Have you considered any alternative treatments? The relaxation benefits alone are amazing.

Hi Wills and welcome. You will find lots of support here. I think you will need to go to the GP for some blood tests etc to have a look at your irregular cycles. It won't feel scary or anything, it will be good to get the ball rolling. Good luck.

Lemon - thanks for the croissant and bum in the air tip. Can I do both at once I wonder? It is uncomfy indeed. Just out of interest did you have weight gain post lap? I know I sound vain (sp) but I have accrued 6 pounds extra and I am not over eating by any means. Good luck for the next IUI. It must feel good knowing that for you guys it is a numbers game, that is all. This can and will work for you soon.

Critter - ooo I hope ovulation pops along soon, how exciting. Get eating baby carrots and drinking loads of water to get ewcm optimum for when it is time. Also talk to your follies and encourage them - why the hell not, in for a penny.....Good luck honey and thank you for your lovely words above.

Gin - we need to talk FET some time. Which bit of the pain are you worried about? Do you find smears painful or is it the transfer bit itself? When are you having your FET?

Madness - that all sounds so positive, I am delighted for you. And hooray for having one decent tube still there which may be handy at some point in the future. Sorry for the infection. I have learnt that bodies are strange and there is often no rhyme or reason. Roll on April.

Buzz - sorry for the sad news. Kayla is a corker isn't she. I love how much happiness she has brought to you two. What's this about moving to NZ?

Hello to Den, Feeedom, Pout, Nelly and Euro - hope you are all ok?

Doll - how is your trip going?

Den how are things? Do you have a lap date?

Joy - when is EC? How are you feeling? I am wishing you lots of luck and admire how you have handled this process.

Well I am feeling a little less sore but not impressed with the triangle shaped bloated lower abdomen, the constipation and the weight gain - it will all go won't it?? However my new lap medal is shining brightly and I have put in some matching earings which look so fetching over my pj's and scruffy big cardigan.

I forgot to tell you all that when I was given my bed on the ward I looked above me to see I was in bed number 13 . But then I smiled to myself inwardly as I feel that whatever is unlucky for everyone else is lucky for me and vice versa. I think a lot of us feel that way. Hense why we are all geared up for 2013.

I start my new job on Monday - I am looking forward to it but already ttc stuff is getting in the way. I am supposed to have my stitches out at the GP on Monday - how am I going to do that? I can't say on my first day that i am leaving early - how bad will that look! I was thinking of going to an NHS walk in centre on Sunday and asking them to do it - but they won't be impressed will they. Or maybe I could ring the ward and explain my dilema and ask if they could do it Sunday evening? Any other ideas?

Then - how will I say to my new boss that i need some time off for a fet and all the monitoring that goes with that? It wouldn't be too bad if I could just book annual leave and be done with it but you know what it's like with waiting for down regging and stimming to occur - you can't set a date. I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew. If I am very honest with new boss she will know that i am activly trying to get pregnant. I guess you could say I should have thought about all of this when I accepted this new job - and I did. But I am trying to balance my life with non ttc elements so that i feel I am progressing my life in other areas. The thing is, this could be such a long game that I would be a fool not to develop my career - but now I am faced with juggling everything, I am not sure how to go about it. Bloody nightmare. Any suggestions? If it helps I am an NHS employee so although they are by no means very relaxed and flexible, they are not as harsh as some employers. Thank you

viv 3 IUI down. 2 to go.

Art at the time we did have a name for him. He introduced himself as John and we never learned more than that. So we christened him "John the vvanking manager". Poor John.

I've had the conflicting advice as well. King's said just to carry on with life as normal. New Life said to take it really easy after IUI. I tried both approaches. You think someone could just figure out what is best really.

BTW, King's have said we can pop in any time and pick up a copy of our HIV etc test results for the princely sum of £5. Might you be able to do that to avoid more vein hacking?

Gin I saw taht about the mastabatorium. Do you think the consultant is lurking on this thread???

Critter I'm 6/7 dpo at the moment, so expect AF the middle of next week, then I'll be at EC probably 12 days after that or something, so probably before the end of the month. It does all seem very real now.

Hi sarah have you been to see your GP yet?