TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

I quit caffeine after reading an article in the Journal of Human Reproduction which said that tests had shown that the equivalent of three cups of coffee per day can slow down the muscles of the fallopian tubes to such a degree that a fertilised egg cannot travel successfully to the womb. The test was done on mice which have the closest reproductive system known to ours. Still scared the shit out of me. I was drinking gallons of energy drink throughout the day whilst weight training and running. I went cold turkey and now I drink nothing with caffeine in. I'll let you know how that goes

Evening ladies,

Feeling the slight desperation of my holiday coming to an end...... Not back to work until Monday but have that niggly feeling that there is too much to do as soon as I go back. Shall stick my head in the sand for a few more days and avoid the urge to log on to email. I can't sort anything out until Monday so must let it go........

funny I am all for small simple weddings. Ours wasn't very big, we only had about 45 people including ourselves and that was plenty big enough. I did get a wedding dress but it was the most un-weddingy wedding dress that I tried on. Light and floaty and perfect for an outdoor ceremony and all of the ceilidh dancing to follow. I would have been miserable after about half an hour in a corset . My sister in law went to Harvey nicks and bought an evening gown. It was grey and she looked amazing .

naoko there are a few of us who are north of the border. I love it that things are closed for two days after Hogmanay - the scots need longer to recover from the festivities . Being at the stage that you're at can be daunting. Ringing the doctor and getting the ball rolling won't hurt. If you get pregnant in the meantime, brill! I hope that you have a good GP.

art I hope that things are feeling calmer today. Your little bean has quite the cheerleading squad on here . Thanks for the reassurance about my mood altering drug regime. Unfortunately I may have to be downregging for 3 to 4 months before switching to stimming drugs so need some good coping strategies in the meantime .

Happy travelling doll

Woohoo critter for the resumption of normal cycles!!!!! Definitely with you on giving things a go for a while. You'll be feeling so much more positive and doesn't everyone tell us that it's all down to the attitude?

joy are you ever not in the loo with all that milk and water? I hate drinking milk so would find that one really hard. I think that I get enough calcium elsewhere but just can't face drinking cold milk on its own. Given everything else I've put myself through to get pregnant though I don't suppose that milk is a very big ask though.

pout hope you're ok and today went well.

Joining the adoption discussion, we have started talking about it here. Having friends who are just coming to the end of the process helps. Right now we're talking about it as an option for having a second child, but with the understanding that we will pursue it seriously if ivf doesn't work.

Waves to rabbit euro mrsden lemon gin freedom penguin and everyone else that I know I've forgotten. Must step away from MN.....

Hello all ? thank you for such a warm welcome!

Gin and Mrsden? Our local GP didn?t mention anything about fixing varioceles but I?ve googled a bit a home and it seems like it might be something worth trying. My feeling is that the variocele must be linked somehow to the low count. When we get our appointment with the FS (fertility specialist? hope I?ve got the right acronym!?), It?ll definitely be on my list of questions to ask.

Euro ? your borderline PCOS sounds the same as mine, I have some of the symptoms but not the actual polycystic ovaries and even though my cycles are irregular, I do seem to ovulate each time (albeit on different cd?s each time). I?ve read the Collette Harris books and try to follow a healthy-ish low GI diet. Unfortunately, the office I work in seems to have birthdays and celebrations with cakes and biscuits every week!

DH found out about the variocele when he was 18 ? he had one testicle which started swelling up and was hard so went to the GP, suspecting testicular cancer. The GP examined him and then sent him to the local maternity unit to have an ultrasound scan (he said he got some funny looks from the pregnant women and their partners!). The doc at the time (in 1996) diagnosed a variocele and said it shouldn?t affect his fertility, but now we?re not so sure...

Viv ? well done on the eggs!

Funny ? I managed to buy my wedding dress from an Oxfam Bridal Boutique. Me and my 2 bridesmaids had the whole shop to ourselves one Saturday morning while a lovely old lady made us tea and said to try on anything we wanted and don?t worry about the mess. I spent 2 hours like a child with a dressing up box and ended up with a designer dress only worn once (for a catwalk show) for only £150.

In comparison, we visited one posh dress shop in Bath for my bridesmaids dresses where, on telling the shop assistant I was getting married in 8 weeks ? she exclaimed {with a horrified look} ?well, well, we just couldn?t possibly have those dresses ready for you in such a short space of time?. My sister in law, quite straight talking, retorted "well we?re obviously not buying them here then!? and walked out. We then went to BHS where they had two beautiful dresses ready for us in 48 hours

Waves to everyone and apologies for the long post!

Madness ? going back to work sucks especially after a long break but i?m sure you?ll be fine come Monday. I can?t remember why you have to downreg for so long, will that stop the infection coming back? God you have been through a seriously rotten time. Oh and I go to the loo every 30mins or so!! Milk for some reason makes me gag but you can have it different guises so I have been putting smoothie at the bottom of it and making a milky smoothy and i can stomach that. Cheese and yoghurt goes towards the litre of milk as well. But i?m not sure how to measure that. I have no idea why they tell you to drink milk.

Viv ? oh my god that progesterone level is fabulous!! I would be feeling hopeful as well. Is your temp still up today?? did you read whether tea is as bad as coffee? I?ve really started limiting the amount i drink.

Critter ? lovely to have you back and hurrah at getting your periods back. I really have a great feeling for you. Once people who have ovulation issues get it sorted, that tends to get them pregnant fairly quickly. Good luck for month 2! I can?t remember but you had a theory as to what you had that was causing the lack of periods didn?t you? Were you going to eat more or something to get your bmi up ? was that you? Thanks for the tip about the Eve Lom TLC cream. Can you get that in UK? I desperately need something. When I had a massage a few months ago, the lady pointed out my skin was really dry on my back and told me it could be a sign of an overactive immune system, so I now do know I have this so I expect it?s something to do with that.

Doll ? i have been told you should wait around 3 months before your next ivf but I think i mentioned before about my SiL?s friend who has had 7 rounds in just over a year but she is 48 and I guess she didn?t want to hang around. She is 25wks pregnant now.

Freedom ? i am sorry about the conversation with your other half. It?s so hard when you get nothing back from them. Buzz has some good words of advice and I think men can come round to things so please try not to despair.

Penguin ? welcome and I am sorry you find yourself here.

Sjhoping ? no one is to blame in infertility. If you had any other illness you wouldn?t blame each other. Having said that, i do feel very guilty that my husband married a barren and i often apologise to him. But if a friend said to me they felt guilty about infertility, i would tell them not to be so ridiculous but i can?t really practice what i preach!

Gin ? i am keeping a close eye on costs and will let you know how much the total tots up to. The really expensive bit will be the immunes treatment i think but i think you can say you don?t want to go down that route. The scans actually come within the price of ivf thankfully but the daily blood tests certainly add up. They also require you to have a hysto. I reckon my one cycle will cost the same as your 2 cycles or thereabouts. Some people do try and source their own drugs i think and i think that would save a huge amount of money.

Mrsd ? yes the clinic tells you to drink all this water and milk. I understand the water thing, it helps with preventing ohss not there is much danger of that with me with my limited supply. Still not sure of the milk. I will find out. They also tell you to eat little and often and eat good proteins like chicken, eggs and nuts etc. I am laying off the refined sugar because apparently the sugar surges can mess with hormones whilst stimming.

Pout ? how did yesterday go/?

Well my scan this morning showed things are on the move. Phew. Come on ovaries, you can at least provide a few.

joy You can get the TLC cream in Space NK if you have one of those near you.

I'm glad things are on the move for you!

Yay for something happening joy. You sound very calm, I'm impressed. How are you finding fitting it around work? I'd be ok with the milk drinking, but I think I'll struggle with the water, I'm going to be in the loo all day and night.

Penguin, can you get dh back to the gp and get him referred to a urologist? There certainly is surgery they can do, but it can depend if the damage is already done. It needs a specalist to assess. Im not in the uk, so it might be different but we found the fertility clinics are not do interested in trying to treat male factor other than pushing for ivf. and the clinc drs are gynae so not that clued up on men!

Viv, I'd be feeling hopeful if I were you. I reckon it might just be a matter of time.

Critter, that's amazing about your period returning, I also think you shoud feel really hopeful. My old gynae said ovulation problems are the easiest to sort and once they're fixed then it's not long until pregnancy, fingers crossed.

Pout, how did you get on yesterday?

Art, how many weeks are you? I read a thread yesterday where someone was 9 weeks and symptoms had vanished, everyone said theirs went around 9 weeks do something to do with the placenta taking over.

Well, this morning we went back to the clinic. We had to wait 45 mins to see our dr. Dh wasn't impressed because he needed to get to work. I'm not sure why it was so busy, I reckon everyone wants to start ivf in the new year. I like looking at all the other couples because they seem so normal. One of the nice things about our clinic is that it also does ante natal care so if I do get pregnant I can stay with them until 36 weeks when I would then get transferred to the place I want to give birth in. It does mean however that there are bumps in the waiting room. But I can assume that these are hard won bumps. Interestingly the three women in there with bumps today all looked to be in their forties so it clearly does work for older women. I use the word older in the loosest sense as I never think of forties being old. Our dr keeps referring to me as young, which at 31 I quite like. When we did get in to the dr, he was very lovely to us and greeted us like old friends. I think he feels a bit sorry for us. He explained everything again. On the ultrasound he said it looked like my right tube is enlarged and he can see pockets of fluid. He is fairly certain this is a damaged tube but he said ultrasound isn't conclusive so I need a lap to diagnose it. He said it would be up to the dr doing the lap to decide what to do it there is a damaged tube. She could remove it or decide to leave it but drain it. He said that the problem wi leaving it is that it is likely to refill with fluid. Also, if we need ivf anyway because of dh then my tubes are redundant, even if I wasn't with dh then a damaged tube is not going to work so he is of the view, and I agree that it's pointless having it. He also said that whilst there is no conclusive evidence, he doesn't think it is good for an embryo or a foetus to be in that environment and at its probably not a long term good health thing for me to have it there either. So, I'm going to be clear with the dr doing the lap that she should remove it if it's damaged. He has tried to get hold of the lap dr but she hasn't called him back so i still don't have a date. Which is very annoying, he said he'd phone me as soon as he's spoken to her. He did say that his number one concern was my health, and his second was getting me pregnant as quickly as possible. That's good to hear.

Joycep, yes, my progesterone result is, indeed, fabulous at 119.4, however, last month it was 106.8 and the previous month, 71.6. Neither of those cycles resulted in pregnancy. So frustrating. However, todays temp is still as high as all the preceding ones so....The article I read, Joy, included all types of caffeine so, yes, tea. I've been told there's only a small amount of caffeine in chocolate. Is this true?

Mrsden, I don't want to sound cavalier regarding another woman's fallopian tube but I, too, would get rid of that sucker. Your doctor sounds ace. Do you like him? Oh..and I'd like to say 'I love you' for saying that we over-forties are not old

Question: should I do a pregnancy test tomorrow (13DPO)? My period is due on Sunday. I don't think I can bear my eleventh BFN but, then again, it's better to know a day early, right?

mrsd as someone now missing a tube i can honestly say that i haven't noticed a difference I hope you hear from your Dr soon about a date.

joy I'm on the drugs i think because they need to halt the spread of the endo between now and when we try for ivf. they have drained the cyst but couldn't remove it without risking my bowel so this is the best way of ensuring it doesn't fill back up before stimming. will see consultant on Tuesday and ask how they will check that the infection is well and truly cleared up.

Ok. off to do something productive with the day!

Dr just rang, hes set me up with an appointment on the 15th. So not too long and then hopefully I dont have to wait too long after that for the lap.

Madness, how are you feeling? We can be our own little one tube club. When do you think you'll be ready to try for ivf?

Viv, I'm not a big fan of testing. Mainly because I've never had a bfp and for me the white space is worse than af arriving so I prefer to wait it out. Also, if you test before af is due then you can't really trust the result becAuse it might be positive but be a chemical pregnancy cue much heartache when af turns up, or it might be negative but you secretly think its too early and still have hope. As you might tell I'm a pessimist.

No, Mrsden, you make perfect logical sense. There is no knowledge to be gained from an early negative, right?

Well done on the stimming, going everywhere with a huge bag of drugs and also drinking ridiculous amounts joycep. You sound very together!

I've cut out the coffee for this round of IUI to see whether it makes a difference with headaches, as they've arrived, but two days later than last month and not as bad... I was thinking viv if caffeine makes a difference to tubes doing there thing, clearly it only matters between O and implantation. The first of the TWW. Of am I being daft. Your progesterone results sound fab, btw.

So the 15th it is, mrsd. Fast moving (I had a month or so wait before mine). Here's to hoping that the lap-lady can fix lots of it. Difficult time for you though, so I am handholding and keeping everything crossed!

Good luck with work madness, I am sure you'll be okay once you get there on Monday. And also time will go faster, I always find. (But then I do enjoy work!)

How did it go yesterday, pout? Thinking of you!

Also, I am loving the wedding chat and the tails of buying that dress. It is so much fun! Pleased we seem to have a continuous stream of marrying girls on here! Happy memories.

Oh and viv I second mrsd. Don't test before AF is due. My test-day is 15dpo (as AF comes on 14 dpo usually). Otherwise think of it as peeing over a fiver, it won't tell you much, and thus you could do something much better with that money!

Quite right, Lemon, and ditto with the thinking around caffeine. Still put the willies up me, though. And I'm not even a mouse.

Thanks lemon. I like my work when I'm with the kids, it's just all of the admin and organising that needs to be done. My nicely ordered timetable is also being thrown completely out of sync as well which makes me feel jittery . Will be lovely to see all the munchkins though and am expecting some teensy tiny new referrals which will keep me on my toes .

I'm feeling alright mrsd. Stomach seems to be settling after coming off the antibs and it's just the hormonal stuff to deal with. Given that I was already finding the whole process emotional I may be attributing more to the drugs than is strictly accurate! I think I would be ready for ivf 2-3 months after the lap but we're hoping to get to the top of the nhs list in 3 to 4 so will wait for that and keep our savings for extra attempts if the first two don't work. if your lap is straightforward I doubt that you'd need to wait too long. Presumably you can find out on the 15th what they recommend. We're always waiting for something aren't we????

viv I don't even have any preg tests in the house anymore. At least a year since I bothered testing. I never believed a bfn until Af arrived so didn't put my mind at ease at all. Fingers crossed for you though.

joy glad things are moving along :)

mrsd sounds like you've put alot of thought into this, and the 15th is not that far away

pout hope you are ok

medusa I hope you are ok too.

Well thank goodness its the weekend, Barry has decided if the job situation doesn't improve here in the next year then he'll get on with NZ visa :) I have made a plan of action for this year and have already started, so feeling pretty good about this year :) well I better get on with dinner

So, have been into work yesterday,..and done some work from home today. Mostly ready for Monday,...although,..never feel fully ready, ever. Bit irritating.
Went for a walk on the beach with DP today, and went round "porch spotting" on the way back. We want to add a porch to our front door, to have a space to dump shoes and coats. Every time we go for a walk, I think "We live in such a nice place. It's great for kids. ...Just actually need to have some kids now."

Gin, Euro There weren't any old ladies with white gloves, thank goodness. That would have made me leave on the spot, I think. Buzzy I've been looking at Phase Eight,...and also at BHS and Debenhams,...could imagine just wearing a nice white summer dress as well. So not fussed with dresses. Madness Your wedding sounds lovely as well. Where did you get married? We will only be 25 in total,...so everyone can sleep at the venue (it's an old mill,..with a stream and a huge field right beside it,..would fit the bouncy castle nicely),...and it will be a three-day long party, so beds are important. Penguin Oxfam might be the only place where my mother would be slightly miffed, if I got the dress from there. She's got some weird and unexplained aversion...

My wedding ring is more of a concern for me at the moment. My grandad died suddenly in September (I was his favourite...loved him to bits,...still start crying every time I think about it...mainly for selfish reasons, because I would have loved for him to meet his great-grandchild and I feel like I've let him down a little), and my nan has given me his wedding ring. We went to the jeweller to ask about ways of incorporating it into my own wedding ring. However, it seems to be quite an issue...and really expensive, because I'd really like to have a ring made of palladium or platinum (I can't wear gold), but thought about having a yellow gold inlay. I'm also not sure I'd really want it melted down. It's got my grandparents' wedding date on the inside...and is nearly 60 years old.

Viv hope the outcome is positive, once you do get around to testing. Fingers crossed.

mrsd our next appointment is on the 15th too! I'm being massively impatient and just want to know if we're FETing or not next cycle. Need to plan my social life! You sound very sorted and I'm pleased that you seem a bit happier with stuff. My clinic keep telling me I'm 'young' at 34! Most ladies look at least mid-late 40s at my clinic too. When my mum was waiting for me during ec, a nurse thought she was there for treatment!I do think that if I was older there'd be less chance of the ohss...

Speaking of which, joy the milk will be for the protein. This helps prevent ohss too, as it does something (binds?) with the toxic things (fluid or proteins?) that cause ohss. Sorry for the crap faux science explanation! You are doing great with it all. At create, they don't even scan you until day 5, so I'm not surprised they haven't seen much.

buzz do tell us all about your year plan. Sounds Intersting!

viv step away from the money burning pee sticks! Having said that, I can't bear the not knowing and I occasionally pee on Internet cheapies. Even though I know we can't really conceive naturally..

madness pleased to hear you are feeling a bit better. I'm sure the hormones will stabilise.

I feel faaaat. I'm half a stone heavier than I was this time last year. I've put on weight after both ivf cycles and eaten too much cake. Didn't someone say a bit of fat is good for pregnancy?! But my clothes are tight and I don't like it.

X post funny. Your wedding sounds ace. Can I come?! I can't remember where you are based, but Hatton Gardens in londinium are good for jewellery stuff and you can really shop about. If you're not near London, do shop about. MIL had to have a diamond reset and saved herself £150 by using a local place rather than H Samuels.

Right, to the pub :)

gin I have gained, 3 kilos not really a shock to be honest, but one of my plans is to lose 10 kilos by the time we do IVF, other plans are to ditch toxic unhealthy friends/ relationships, do some courses and look into moving to NZ, some DIY nothing really exciting, oh and to start the adoption process just things like that really

funny it is expensive to get jewellery altered here, I had some earrings made out of the diamonds from my old wedding band, I could believe how much they charged when I was suppling the goods, but its actually about making a mould etc that can cost, not the materials used. Have you thought about either wearing on a chain or have the ring made smaller so you can wear it ??

Gin We live in the South West,...quite far from London. Could have a look around Bath, Bristol or Cardiff. We went to a small jewellery shop here, though and will quite probably get both our rings from there.
My ex has already asked whether him and his wife can come to the wedding...because of the bouncy castle. Aehm, no. That's for me to play in with the little ones (we'll have four children there...3-11 years old - can't quite understand why people would want "child free" weddings).

Buzzy I though about having it on a chain, but will need to test for allergies. It's a plain yellow gold ring. I used to have a necklace made of white gold, which I couldn't wear, because I react and get a rash quite quickly (I had really bad eczema as a child...nowadays it usually only returns when I'm really stressed). Not sure about yellow gold, but it's quite a low carat one, so will have several things mixed into it. We thought about having it changed to fit me, but I don't really wear any jewellery and really don't want a yellow gold wedding ring. That's why I thought about having it be the inlay of a platinum or palladium ring. Most rings like that I can find are titanium, though.

Gin, I would never buy the expensive chemist pregnancy tests, I have approximately six thousand internet cheapies to get through. I'm all alone tomorrow all day as DP goes to watch the football and, if I have another high temp in the morning, I'm not sure I could last the whole day wothout knowing if I'm preggo. I'm already experiencing the blues you feel when you just know you're not pregnant. I don't have any evidence for this, of course, just ten months or relentless disappointment [sigh]

What is OHSS, please?

Thatso if you fancy a nice white summer dress, have a look at Monsoon. I was tempted by one from there. I also tried on one in Coast. They have a bridal range now and it usually has some nice stuff in it.

Could having your grandad's ring incorporated into your wedding ring make the ceremony rather emotionally fraught?

Gin I'm in a similar position. I put on a pound with each month of steroids and a few more with the IVF drugs. I had been trying to shift it through diet (and had shifted a chunk of it before Xmas), but my acupuncturist has tried everything to get my energy levels up and just can't, so I am thinking I will stop with the calorie counting, eat what I want and step up my exercise to try to top what is there. I hope this will not result in me being enormous! I'm only about half a stone more than I was this time last year, but it is enough to mean that a couple of my dresses and skirts are now tight enough to make me look horribly lumpy. Meh. I hope exercise is the answer!

My boobs feel swollen but I am putting that down to the extra pounds rather than anything else!

Can I just say how much I have despised being back at work?! I want to play instead. Have totally lost track of folks, it's been busy on here.

joy tail preen and loves to you. Boak to milk drinking. Does Ben and Jerrys count? glad that the scan looked good today.

mrsden you sound in good hands and its good that its all happening at a pace. Lots to take in by the sounds of it.

viv I stopped testing at the one year mark. I tested in oct when af was considerably late and I had 17 and then 18 high temps. Got exciting for a short while but came to nothing. I can't bear seeing the white stick, fishing it out the bin, contemplating my own barreness etc. All sounding good for you though? Fingers crossed.

funny I did not get on with fancy wedding dresses. I felt like I looked like a toilet roll dolly. I actually ended up ordering a bridesmaid dress that I loved in ivory. I had a few alterations made, buttons and lining etc and sewn in boobs as I have none it was bargainous.

critter hurray for a period! How very exciting. Interesting too that it wasn't a green diet that welcomed it back. I'm a lot easier on myself food wise now and my stomach has really thanked me for it. I feel so positive for you. Are you putting ivf on hold for a bit?

art how you doing?

buzzy liking the plan.

My brain is all fuzzy, I'm very tired and actually feel grotty. I don't sleep very well in the run up to my period, I think the progesterone must make me have crazy restless dreams. I'm 12dpo and spotting a tiny bit (my microscope eye is never wrong) so another month down the pan. Aghhhhh! I realised on Facebook today that the first ten status updates were all overtly baby (my baby is so cute because) /bump (oo Braxton hicks)/child (my childs so clever because) related and felt like a heap of shit. No doubt pmt. But then I saw Nelly enjoying her honeymoon and felt cheered up.

I'm going to properly read thread now. Massive wave to all 10 plussers.

funny I meant as a just a ring not as your wedding ring, I wear my old engagement ring as a dress ring, interesting that you allergic to gold I'm allergic to all other metal but gold white gold has silver mixed in so it has less gold than yellow.
I had a child 'free wedding' and loved it, never once (and I have been married twice) did I think something was missing. I had no intention of competing with someones screeching child when people were there to hear us exchange our vows. I have been too many weddings where children have misbehaved. Plus alot of our friends didn't have kids, some still don't. Each to there own

x posts with rabbit I just looked through my FB only 1 pic of kids others are about houses, pets and holidays I don't think I have many friends with kids or babies