TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

I don't think it would be suitable for us then, I don't always ovulate. I'm not sure if this might be related to the damaged tube thing or if it's a completely separate issue. I feel like I'm trying to go for a record on the number of infertility problems a couple can have, ovulation problem - check, tube issue - check, male factor - check. We will also need as many eggs as possible to give dh sperm a chance. I'm not convinced they will have much fertilisation power.

That's the disadvantage - if the egg is a dud one, that's it for that month.

I don't think you actually need to ovulate as such, just produce a mature follie (I know some people do that but it doesn't pop out). But it wouldn't work for you if you didn't produce the follie.

You're in the opposite position to me - I'm still waiting to find one bloody problem! I do find the not knowing the cause incredibly difficult psychologically.

Welcome, Penguin

I've just received my day 21 progesterone result over the phone: 119.4!!

You've definitely laid an egg then! (Possibly two!)

Yes, Euro! According to the scans I've been laying two every month since being on Clomid (this is my third cycle). Does evidence of two mature follicles guarantee two eggs are released? Mine have all measured between 21 and 26mm.

gosh - well done viv on the mega eggs. Mine never get that big.

today, in a blip in my usual happiness, I asked DH if we should perhaps have a talk about adoption, you know, would it be for us, would we be good adopters. He said No. I explained that I felt sad about the whole thing and his not even engaging in a conversation made me feel like another hope crushed. Then he said, it's a hard topic - the whole baby and fertility thing and he's not interested in talking about it. He's not keen on adoption. He's not keen on IUI or IVF but going along with it. He doesn't want to talk about it. In typical cliche way, sometimes, I feel like I need to talk about it. And I cried I can't believe I actually went and lay on my bed and cried like a big wimp. Not in a manipulative-I-am-going-to-cry-and-force-you-to-have-a-conversation way but actually, I am gutted, I am pre-menstrual, and feeling hopeless and alone today. Sorry that is not positive at all.

Bloody hell, Freedom, I am so cross on your behalf I am about to go and have a cry myself. It must feel like an horrendous betrayal to hear such indifference from your other half. I say 'betrayal' because this ttc journey is fucking hard enough with two of you pulling together and sharing the dreams and the heartache and disappointments. I can't imagine being left alone with my questions and 'what ifs'. Could he be one of those men who feels his very masculinity is being questioned through this journey? Some blokes are awfully protective of their (imagined) threatened sexual identity when fertility becomes an issue. Adoption can seem like a huge arrow to a town called Failure for some of these men.

You'll have to excuse me, however, for I have very little time for men who don't do exactly as I say when it comes to helping me to fulfill my dream of holding a child in my arms. I expect 100% support and commitment from my DP on this journey - right until the bitter end - otherwise, what the fuck is he doing in my bed and in my life?

You can tell I'm still smarting from the two pre-cinema fags he smoked yesterday, right?

yes viv I can tell
I can't force the conversation however as I will end up monologuing and getting even more wound up at his failure to say anything at all. It's good there is this thread as RL is rather short on people to talk to.

so what is next for you then now it looks like you have produced some mega eggs?

Oh, Freedom, I've produced two of these 'mega eggs' since starting Clomid (this is my 3rd cycle) and no BFP yet. I remember being told during my first cycle that two juicy big eggs were about to be released and I skipped all the way home fantasising about twins. If only ovulation guaranteed a pregnancy! My period is due on Sunday and I have no reason whatsoever to believe this month will be any different from the other ten since my miscarriage. However, my temperature is still high (which is unusual for me at 11DPO - it is usually making a slight downward trajectory) and the timing and frequency of sex this month was the best it has been since I fell pregnant in January. I can't help feeling hopeful..[silly bitch emoticon]

Hello everyone - just popping in to say hi - just got back from a week without internet which was actually really lovely. Have had a read back - welcome to the newbies and hand hold to joy today.

joy, sorry the rose oil isn't doing the job - one more (expensive) thing to recommend from me for dry skin (I am old alligator chops and also love this kind of pampering crap) is the Eve Lom TLC cream - it is mega thick, almost like Sudocrem, but is the most moisturising cream I have ever found - as good if not better than Creme de la Mer which is obviously ridiculously expensive but which I've also tried a pot of.

art I hope you are ok - a heartbeat is great news. I am thinking of you and your little bean.

lemon I am so sorry that this IUI didn't work but glad you are feeling reasonably ok. Progesterone is nasty stuff for the mood and it's good you're feeling like yourself. Onwards and upwards.

rabbit I knitted a raspberry pink scarf with pom poms over Christmas and thought of you! My sister made me a tea cosy and a tablecloth, both gorgeous, and was loving getting out the old sewing machine. It felt great to make stuff - so relaxing and definitely a great anti-ttc woe strategy. Loved your post and agreed with every bit of it. My husband's little cousin had a target of 60 books last year - I'm hoping for 40. I am a member of Goodreads but haven't really done anything with it - maybe I should start!

euro good luck for your natural cycle my love. Hope you're feeling better and sorry New Year was miserable. I think it is just naturally a rough time of year - taking stock and all that - especially the bit between Christmas and the 31st when everything is so quiet and it's easy to feel melancholy about things that haven't happened in the past year. 2013 will be a good year for you.

buzz lovely that you're being so cheerful. I am sure that moving to donor eggs must feel bittersweet, but I am as always in awe of your beautiful, sunny, positive attitude. You are a true hero.

welcome vivienne, sj and hello again freedom, I remember you - sorry you've had such a crappy time.

Waves to naoko. Japanese connection? My mum sent me for classes in the 80s for a couple of years when I was about eight, one of my uncles was married to a Japanese woman at the time and I had a Japanese pen pal. It was around the time when everyone thought Japan would be the new China. Also, my mother was a pushy hothouser and I was a little nerdy knowitall geek .

gin how was the bouche de noel? Sounds heavenly! Long walks and fresh air sound like just the thing.

mrsd I'm so glad you had a nice weekend with your husband - he sounds like a really wonderful man. Did you say when you will start the IVF process? You've had a lot of knocks over the past few weeks and I am so glad - and impressed - that you're coping so well.

Hello princess, warms my cockles that all is going so well. How was the Hobbit? Worth seeing?

doll are you back yet?

All well here, holiday was utterly blissful - lots of reading, playing board games, cooking and being silly with friends and family, and I got my period (woot!) which was awesome, first natural one since 2005, hurrah! My family toasted its return with duty free champagne . My goodness, I'd forgotten what real periods were like. They don't mess around. Cramps up the wazoo but I was like - 'bring it on' . Now on CD6 and feeling very cheerful, although if I do ovulate again, it probably won't be for at least a couple of weeks. This feels like a complete fresh start - it's as though this is my first cycle (which of course in a way it is) even though we've been 'trying' (ie off birth control) since early 2011. Happy new year everyone, and waves to everyone I've missed.

The first natural period since 2005 is definitely worth some duty free champers, Critter! Does that mean you will put back your planned IVF and try naturally for a bit? I'm glad you had a lovely relaxing break. You are so right about the time between Xmas and new year. I felt a bit neglected as all my friends were off taking their kids to see the grandparents or to the panto and it's a time when in the past we would have seen one another. I'm better now through, if not entirely thrilled to be back at work!

Viv great egg laying!

critter hello, you. Congrats on the period, toasted as well I'm packing for return tomorrow. Loving your Japanese connection comments. I've had internet but not the time/ space to write somehow. New Year's morning brought my period (untoasted). Onwards. That's the ironic post- IVF diff out the way.
art sorry you have been feeling stressed but wonderful news on the scan. Keep going love. Lovely to see you back freedom sorry though about your hair situation and the mute bloke nastiness.
I'm feeling for euro buzzy gin and everyone else back at work. i've been back in my work email properly these last two days. Sigh.
Take an extra hand hold joy
Thinking of you all rabbit pout mrsden ...upset child, melt down situation...sorry... x

Euro I will be trying naturally for a bit, as it seems worth going things a shot now that the old ovaries have creaked into action. I feel much happier than I did a year ago and I also feel like its ok if I have to wait for longer - I don't have that horrible urgency that I had in the summer and autumn.I don't feel frightened of ivf any more, if I end up going down that path then so be it. Being back at work sucks I agree - glad it is Thursday!

Doll so lovely to hear from you. Sorry af arrived. Do you have any thoughts on when you'd go for round two? In a few cycles, after your body has had a chance to recover?

Pout was your appointment today? Hope it went ok.

Critter Im not sure that will wait. Had it not been for Christmas then I might have done back to back. I cant turn the page but think it was euro who mentioned a few cycles to recovery, I'm not sure if this 'recovery' is said to impact the success of future cycles though, I havent heard so. Anyone? I didn't and don't feel like I had anything to recovery from really. I do have a bit of a concern over the levels of booze and sugar I have allowed post IVF then Christmas, I didnt do perfect prep last time but this is just pathetic. I've had it in the back of my head but not done anything about it, just could bring myself to...

What's the script with sugar?

viv the basic rule with IVF prep is suck the enjoy out of life just in case it might help

or even the joy.....

Akua Seriously though, I gave up alcohol and cigarettes...I don't think I could fucking cope without Wispa Golds and fruit Polos

doll my cycles returned after an autumn of defiantly scoffing crisps, ice cream, drinking and doing almost no exercise (usually I'm quite spry and always hopping about, doing Pilates or running or something). So I don't know about the whole don't overindulge thing. I just got sick of the whole business and went on a bit of an anti-health binge. I know it's different for different people though - I am someone who leans towards the holier than thou smug healthy mode so it was quite liberating for me to say sod it to the brown diet stuff, trying to be even healthier made me miserable. But look at princess, she did amazingly on the brown diet. I've heard about the waiting a few cycles thing from the point of view of taking a sort of emotional vacation from it all, but if you feel ok emotionally and physically, I don't see why you shouldn't go for it.

viv I do love wispa golds. But not as much as salt n vinegar crisps .

critterpants I am strangely delighted at the thought of you getting your first period since 2005. hooray!

Aw thanks freedom. I am just thrilled, it's so awesome to feel like everything has cranked into gear and is working again - especially as the ivf doc said they wouldn't. I had got quite despondent about it all. Even if I don't get pregnant, it's nice to feel everything is working as it should in my undercarriage.

doll I think it's normal here to leave a couple of cycles in between IVF attempts. I must have read that on a ttc board somewhere.

I can't be arsed with pre-IVF self-deprivation. I gave up caffeine and alcohol for several cycles (including the cancelled IVF one) last year. What good did it do? I'm fairly healthy anyway - I exercise, eat a fair amount of fruit and veg, drink a modest amount, don't smoke. So I plan to carry on as I am.

Just popping in quickly to say our consultant told us we had to wait 3 months between ivf cycles. Not sure why, but my ovaries did/do feel extra pingy in the months afterwards and my first post ivf cycle was longer than normal both times.

Yay for your period critter. So that means you def did ov when you thought?! Am excited for you and hoping your ovaries continue to play ball ( a bad phrase maybe for a ttc forum).

pout I hope all went well for you today and wasn't awful and confusing

penquin welcome

freedom they are sensible coping strategies, the 10 things to be grateful for is what they teach you in life coaching, I'm sorry DH is having trouble expressing his thoughts and feelings about it all, perhaps if he wrote it down, might be easier than actually saying it. Just because he says no to adoption now doesn't mean he will think like that in the future. Some people think I'm mad when I say this but early last year I asked Barry about adoption and he said he didn't think he could really love an adopted child etc etc, we then got a cat and he found his nurturing side and became more open to the idea and now is quite keen on adoption. It might just all feel too much for him to deal with, it obviously doesn't help you, talk to us until he is ready.

funny I got my wedding dress from Phase Eight, they do simple wedding dresses, I went John Lewis and tried them on with a friend, no appointments needed and no fussing shop assistance telling you how beautiful you look in every one :) euro my friend had a beautiful evening dress for her wedding too.

hoping I think a few of us have thought about adoption, I'm hoping to look into it a bit more very soon :)

gin thank you I feel we have no choice but to deal with it and get on. I'm still hoping we will do it ourselves

mrsd I hope all goes well tomorrow for you,

joy hope the shooting up is going well I think mrsd asked about the milk and water, I was wondering about that too

critter WAHOO well done on having your period, you must be pleased, I too feel champers is the best way to celebrate. Glad you are feeling happier. I too had Japanese pen pals when I was younger, I still have some of the little things they sent me

doll sorry Af showed up, mine started on new years too well heavy spotting, hope you have a good trip back.

rabbit thank you for thinking of me :)