TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Thanks for the drinking tip joy. I really hope I cope better on gonal...

Funny, don't forget a lot of us have been trying for over 2 years, hence the being ready for AC and knowing too much about it. We tried for 21 months naturally, but had the first batch of investigations after a year, a second lot after 1.5. As was said by someone up thread, we've had natural conceptions on this thread after a very long time, so there is still a decent chance you will fall pregnant before getting anywhere near the injecting stage that a lot of us on this thread are at.

Well, I survived work and have our ivf follow up appt booked, after much wrangling with the bloody clinic. Their admin does my head in. If I was that difficult with the public at work, I'd be sacked!

Welcome funny. I'm another wedding whore. Yours sounds lovely. Do you have a suitably summery dress picked yet?!

art a tiny growing bean with a heartbeat , yay! I know it's much much easier said than done, but try not to worry love. Sounds like everything is perfect so far. So many of my friends had no symptoms or bumps even at 12 weeks!

Good luck with the move pout! Yes, the Simpsons like place was where we were arguing about waterproofs walking. I kept seeing people with a big and small dog and wondering if they were you. Good luck tomoz! I was literally shitting myself before some of my appointments, but you do quickly get used to them.

Sound like you are doing amazingly joy. I'm super impressed. It sounds v intensive. You're on 3 kinds of drugs?! I couldnt cope with the powder ones you have to mix up. I also couldnt inject myself! Do keep us posted. And I'll be really interested to hear what the actual final cost is

viv at dogging. Dave has suggested toy boys as a cheaper alternative to donor sperm.

euro I was trying to work out if I did the FET next cycle if I'd be at the clinic at the same time as you, but I think I'm half a cycle behind you. Probably for the best - you'd see me fuming at reception staff.

Hi freedom. Sorry the drugs are still having bad side effects.

Waves to nao, madness and rabbit. I'm ver ver impressed at your sewing machine skills.

buz I'd have used DS for the last ivf, if Dave had been up for it, so totally understand the DE thing. mrsd I think you asked how he was about it? He's surprisingly fine with it and says he thinks upbringing is more important then genes. He did refuse when I suggested asking his brother for a specimen though! I'm not sure he sees a distinction tween DS and adoption...

mrsd hope you are ok. Do you have a lap date? sar I'm thinking of you and your upcoming lap.

cosmos hope you are doing ok.

Waves to the lovely lurking princess and all I've missed on the other page.

The year of the snake reminded me of pouts snakes in prams. You know it's gonna happen ladies...

Bloody hell, it's a good job you are all stimulating writers, your posts are so long! Naokosan and Artemis I'd like to thank you for your kind and encouraging words. When you've been through recovery there is a strange feeling of 'well, I've done that..now what?' Shouldn't I be achieving Great Things? Don't I now have the power to have anything my heart desires? The answer is no, and I've never felt quite so powerless than since trying for a baby. I do feel slightly more resigned now I'm at the 12 month stage, though. Artemis, I know of six women on mumsnet, including you, who are currently pregnant and only one of you is not spotting. Everyone seems to be going through exactly the same thing and I know that isn't a direct comfort to you personally but it shows just how common this phenomenon is. Pout, thanks for the welcome and I do hope your IVF appointment tomorrow is hugely positive.

Well, I've just returned from the cinema to see The Impossible where I could not take my eyes off Naomi Watts' pointless wig. I can only assume that, as she was spending four months filming in turbulent waters she wore a syrup to protect her glorious Hollywood thatch. Bored and in need of a shit I went to the toilet and, when I looked down afterwards there was a floating mass of globulous, creamy cm! (Sorry for a) too much information and b) for looking down the toilet after I've had a poo. Freud would understand). Later, as I perused the shockingly manufactured shit in Next I felt horribly queasy (I was, however, staring at a particularly lurid floral top). Now, I'm not one to symptom spot (tender breasts? Ill-fitting bra, love. Period-type cramps? You need a shit, missus) but...

Oh, and DP had TWO fags before going into the cinema. If I'm not pregnant this month him and his Rizzlas can Foxtrot Oscar.

evening ladies, sorry if this sounds garbled but I'm on the new migraine medication which makes me feel 'quite peculiar' will see GP in a coup;le of weeks about it

art can understand you concern, but really one day at a time, mini art is doing well :) you could have a private scan in a couple of weeks, not sure why woman feel a great need to discuss their MS its a bit sad really.

pout good luck for tomorrow, it might feel a bit overwhelming but just remember you are one step closer to your baby :)

joy I agree with euro that is intense, don't really know how I would fit that in with my job to be honest, there isn't really anywhere I could shoot up I am impressed with hopw you are managing it all

sj welcome

free I would have said 'really why did I never think of that' and then rolled my eyes, although would have done it after she had finished with my hair, my lovely colleague said she bought me some nice bath salts as she feels I need to be relaxed for IVF :)

euro sorry mr euro isn't helping, it took Barry along time to get into looking stuff up himself, I have to admit he does say some odd things to me.

gin glad you have finally got your appointment. Is it soon.

well Kayla had her first jab today, the vet is lucky to still be alive actually she was quite good accept for the hissing. Work was ok today, just left to my own devices which I like although my patients are very demanding for therapy
q###################8wwa-9

Was that end contribution from Kayla, buzzy?

Gin Next AF is due around mid-Jan, so I will probably be going for a scan in the second half of the month and EC close to the end of the month. What about you?

ooops that was the cat sitting on my keyboard, at least she didn't delete with her furry backside

anyway Barry and I have had a chat and we have discussed our finances, we can really only do one lot of IVF so have decided to go for DE so hopefully we will do that in April/May. It would be nice to try with my own but I feel if I'm going to give it a shot its best to go with the strongest option, we've both had a few tears, mine is mainly do to the massive drop in hormones, I felt fine last . I feel a bit relieved that we have reached a decision, I'm also going to start looking into adoption too. No time like the present to get on with things :)

well Barry is telling á

sorry cat again, I give up, dinner is ready

Kayla is clearly a big fan of MN

drizz I found more about the sperm dna frag stuff here: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-20323789

And I wasn't far off remembering something about a silly named test! There is a link in that article to a clinic that has developed the "SpermComet" test....

Bah humbug to being back at work I just want to be at home making things. Not a name checky post as I'm getting an early night, not been sleeping well with back to work/ttc thoughts. But massive wave to everyone and proper post soon. Art try not to worry, I heard spotting at 8ish weeks and twelve ish weeks or when your period should have been due is common, and in general it seems to happen ever such a lot. Love to you. Joyce I'm finding your posts v helpful and thinking of you. And euro, what is the plan if you do find sperm fragmentation? Does it just mean you're stuffed?

God one born every minute is on, where's my remote!? They say there's a baby boom..not from where I'm sitting

Rabbit - I found Junior on Sky - a pregnant man, that's all I need!
If there is sperm frag, you aren't stuffed - could be a sign of infection and can be brought down quite considerably.

we're watching Africa on BBC 1 much more interesting :)

pout Good luck with the IVF appointment and tell all about it. I will be taking careful notes.

arte A heartbeat. That's so great. I am sending you positive vibes for a sticky bean.

buzzy hahaha. Tbh, I think there might have been some transference going on. She starting saying, see look at me, I am 31, if I don't have a child, so be it. And then her teenage assistent says - yes, but boss, if someone really yearns for a child. And the hairdresser snapped - get on with sweeping the floor girl.

I can feel ERTD approaching. Stay away you misery bringer.

Nao strategies for coping, this is cheesy, but here goes

• I regularly count ten great things about my life for which I am grateful. Like, I live in a safe country. My legs work. My DH is great. I eat well. It doesn't always work, but it means I am positive more often, which means I feel like sex more often.
• I try and do lots of things I wouldn't feel comfortable doing if pregnant, or able to do so easily/spontaneously if I had a baby or kids to take care off. Nights out with mates, active holidays, staying up late, eating trash, doing nice things with DH.

I am such a wally - my coping strategies were for SJ not Nao sorry. Although you know, Nao if it helps you, great

'night everybody.

Hi everyone,

Well i was back at work today after xmas and new year celebrations. Got double time so thats a bonus. Has anyone thought about adoption? I think ive resigned to fact ill never have my own children, i have a "feeling" and seriously considering this.

"Euro" thanks. I see from all your posts im totally clueless on everything. I wish i had done a lot more research sooner. What is CD? I hope you get your baby soon.

"Vivienne" what is DP? Lol too many acronyms and i really have no idea lol.

Hi "Naokosan" waves

Hi "Pout"

"Joy" Thanks i just have a big feeling its not going to happen. Ive not yet but we are going to register to a local doctor so we can go and get poked and prodded asap with a little exaggeration on how long we have been trying. Ive had a look at all the tests they can perform and im not looking forward to it. Our relationship is very strong and im just worried " the blame" on me or him that will be placed will cause a strain.

Thank you to everyone for being so welcoming :-)

Sj xx

Gin Haven't got a dress, yet. Went looking for one with a friend a few weeks ago...and was told I looked like a rabbit in headlights. I absolutely hate wearing dresses. Took about an hour of trying on different ones and giving her looks saying "Are you bloody serious??", before we found something I felt a bit happier with. Looked around online for some as well and I do know what kind of style I want (too much fabric on most of them...I have no intention of being a princess at a fairytale wedding). It shouldn't be too much of an issue to get one closer to the date, since I'm not aiming for some designer thingy, that has been changed to fit me perfectly. Other consideration that makes me want to wait at the moment is that I'm still hoping to get pregnant before the wedding, so I don't want to get one and then not fit into it. I'd be about 32 weeks on my wedding day, should it happen in the next cycle. Perhaps that's a bit silly,...but still.

sjhoping Have you thought about having a surrogate, instead of adopting? Although I'm not quite sure how this works here in the UK. I've considered adoption from quite a young age (around 16), because one of my best friends grew up in foster care. It's never been instead of having biological children, though,...more in addition to them. DP would be happy with it, too. I'm just slightly worried about adopting a slightly older child into a bilingual family situation.

Hello, can I join you all?

Been a lurker for a couple of months and just passed the 1 year TTC anniversary last month

My short story is ?
me, 30, irregular cycles (26-45 days), suspected PCOS, referred for scans but found no cysts or blockages (sounds silly but somehow that made it harder to understand!)
DH, 34, variocele (told this doesn?t affect anything!?) and SA with a count of only 2 million

Doc referred us last month to the local Fertility Clinic ? just waiting for our letter now!

I like the coping strategies freedom ? every tip and bit of advice helps make each day easier

Belated Happy New Year wishes to everyone as well

Running in to give pout a massive squeeze for today. You can do it! Big luffs, come and tell us how it went.

Giving pout a big hug this morning too. If I can do it and I'm a wimp extraordinaire, you certainly can!

Welcome penguin. Your dh's SA sounds similar to my dh's. Will he be seeing an urologist? I think they can try to fix varioceles?!

funny yay to having to find a pregnancy wedding dress :) I do wear dresses a fair bit and still found wedding dress shopping pretty freaky. Oh and I know of a bilingual couple who recently adopted.

Welcome sj. Think I forgot to say hello before. I think we may well end up adopting. It's certainly our back up option for once all the treatment has bankrupted the in laws us.

euro if they let us do the FET next cycle, we'll start around 25 jan, with ET in early - mid feb. My last cycle was a bit longer than normal, so it's more difficult to work out dates. Hmm maybe they will make me wait another cycle until back to normal post ivf... Our appt is on the 15th Jan though, so we may still bump into you!

Big big hugs buzz. You and Barry have made a very brave and pragmatic decision. Sorry to hear about the tears, but hope you feel better for having made the decision. And make sure you go somewhere where you get loads of eggs for your money.

rabbits I can't even watch the OBEM adverts. They make me hiss and want to wail!

I am not enjoying being back at work, particularly the getting up in the morning thing. Roll on Saturday...

Good luck today pout. Also, good luck with the packing up. Did you find somewhere to move to then?

Welcome penguin, funny and sj. Penguin - id ask for your dh to be referred to a urologist, it seems like a bit of a coincidence for him to have varioceles and low count. I think varioceles can be treated.

I'm not really sure I have any real coping strategies. The year mark was probably my lowest point because you realise then that something must be wrong. Having said that quite a few people on this thread did conceive around that time so for some it does just take a bit longer. I like to have holidays planned, and to do things spontaneously that I couldn't do if pregnant or had kids. I avoid pregnant friends if I'm feeling low, which sometimes makes me feel guilty but it's all about self preservation.

I'm sorry you had a low new year feeling euro. It is a hard time, all about being reflective and I had to endure lots of friends saying that 2012 was amazing for them, whereas it was rubbish for me.

We're supposed to be seeing the doctor tomorrow to get our referral to the clinic that will do the lap. I can't plan my treatment this year until I know when that will happen but I'm thinking lap, then not sure how long I need to recover before starting ivf. I'd really like to get two rounds of ivf in this year. Gin - is there a set time they say to wait between cycles?

Joy, did the clinic tell you about the drinking milk and water?

sj CD = cycle day (another one that gets used a lot on these boards is dpo = days past ovulation).

Thatso I hated wedding dress shop. Fussy old women wearing white gloves dressing me in princess dresses. Bleugh. I'd actually decided to just go with an evening dress when I found a wedding dress dept in House of Fraser, tucked away behind the evening dresses. I wandered in without an appointment and found a very simple silk sheath and went for that.

pout I hope it all went well today. I have been thinking of you.

frozen welcome. I seem to have borderline PCOS (I have some but not all of the symptoms and seem to ovulate regardless). Eating a sensible diet without too many simple carbs and sugary things (i.e. fairly low GI) and acu seem to have help regularise my cycles considerably. How did your husband find out about the variocele?

Gin it looks like you will be just after me then. We have an appointment next week, but I can't remember what it is for! We've had the initial consultation and fertility MOT thingy. Maybe it's to go over the consent forms?

mrsd I think most clinics like you to wait 2-3 cycles between IVF cycles, to give your body a chance to recover from the drugs. One advantage of what I am doing (natural iVF) is that you can do it in consecutive cycles if you want as it is much less taxing on the body. I think we will do one cycle, then use the one IUI cycle we have left already paid for and then another one. If I'm not cracking up by that point, we will see where we are!

Euro, Do you take any drugs at all with the natural ivf? Im really not looking forward to the drug side of ivf, I hate taking painkillers for a headache.

Apparently, you usually take a trigger shot (HCG injection) to help them time egg collection, and sometimes Create uses a form of ibruprofen to block ovulation if it looks like it is going to happen too early. They then offer you the progesterone suppositories like in full IVF during the 2ww. So it's not completely drug free, but much lighter than full IVF as there is no downregging or stimming.

I also hate taking painkillers, etc. The only drugs I embrace are caffeine and alcohol!

Sounds much easier on the body than standard ivf. I guess it's only suitable for women without ovulatory problems? So, do they only collect one egg then?

Yes, you need to produce the egg yourself, or there is nothing for them to collect.

They just collect the mature egg that you produce yourself, usually just the one (I know that one one of my 5 monitored cycles I had two mature follies, so some months I produce more than one (unsurprising as there are twins on both sides of my family)). They also offer something called in-vitro maturation, where they take immature eggs at the same time and mature them in the lab, but we are not going for that, at least at first.