TTC 10+ months thread 12

[buzzybee123]

A very friendly and supportive thread for those taking way longer than they had ever expected to make a baby.

Me too buzzy I've got back to work grumps

hi everyone. Happy new year to you all! I am a long time lurker and infrequent poster. So infrequent, I get welcomed as a newbie everytime I post
A short update from me. I had IUI try number 3 in December. I am due to test on Friday this week, the 4th Jan but don't feel pregnant. Other than perhaps a post xmas/ new year food baby. The drugs are still making my hair fall out but my hair dresser has worked some magic so now I have a mini comb over covering my small bald spot. Unfortunately my hairdresser (I've been going to her for 6 years) also quizzed me about my private life to look for a reason for my hair loss and pretty quickly guessed about the hormone fertility drugs. Then I had to listen to her go pn about it all being in the hands of god and to stop stressing as that would make my hair fall out more. Thanks for that hairdresser.

Anyway, for Viv and Naokosan, I am 35 soon, DH 40 this year. We have been trying for 3 years and 8 months. Just one early MC back in 2010. We have been seeing fertility doctors for about half a year now I think. I have mild PCOS and male hormones that are too high. DH has a normal count but low motility.

Fingers crossed for lots of BFPs this year.

The MC was in 2011 but anyway, ages ago, no sign of a BFP since. It's late. Time to rest so I am happy at work tomorrow and not just wishing it was the weekend.

Happy new year ladies! I agree with euro 2012 was a pile of crap, adios shit year. 2013 HAS to be better for us all. Urgh it's my first day back at work and it feels horribly early. My train is deserted and it's not properly light... Will catch up properly later, but just wanted to wish y'all HNY xx

Back at work too. And clearly NYE was better than Xmas as I didn't feel like getting up this morning, so have done an impromptu day of working from home :)

Good wishes to all of you. And welcome back freedom. Hiss boo at your hairdresser, though. The last thing you want is being lectured on relaxing and things happening, right!?

Morning ladies. I'm am distinctly unimpressed at being back at my desk. And really quite grumpy.

Hi ladies, happy new year. I?m not going to put any hopes on this year because after having had hopes for 2010, ?11 & ?12, i don?t want to even think or be wishful about what this year has in store. I?m the eternal pessimist but i kind of want to prepare myself for the worst.

Freedom ? best of luck with your testing. Goodness, you deserve a bfp so much.

Congrats to Rabbit for not talking ttc for a month or so. Did it make you feel better?

Madness- sorry about your crazy mood swing. I think the mood swings are one of the worst side effects of the drugs. I hate not feeling myself.

Art - is your scan this week? I know it must be so worrying but loads of people lose symptoms and all is fine. Hope scan comes quickly so you can relax a bit. If I got a bfp I think I would just want to be throwing up the whole time. Anyway thinking of you - these first 8 weeks are the worst.

Big waves to everyone.

So i?m on day4 of stimming. I have been having daily blood tests and then the drugs are readjusted everyday. Scan this morning showed things to be quiet but that is to be expected apparently. I had to take a 5am injection this morning and after 3hrs kip on NYE, i?m exhausted already! It?s very weird walking around with a massive bag of drugs because once I get my instructions via phone call, wherever you are, you have to go and inject. So I have got the mixing and administering down to a 15 minute process. My aim is to get it down to 5mins. I haven?t told work yet. I think I can get away with it this week as I can get everything done before work. Next week may be a bit more tricky but I am going to see how far I get without telling them. NK Cells have been retested today so I guess I will start treatment for that fairly soon. Struggling with the litre of milk i have to drink a day and the 2+litres of water. This will be upped to 3.5litres next week. I still can?t believe I?m actually doing ivf. it?s kind of disbelief really but there we go.

So what?s everyone?s plan this year with treatment and non ttc this year?? I start my course in March whether this works or not. I will do another cycle in the Summer if it doesn?t work. And apart from that I don?t really have much planned. Course will take precedence. TTC will try and be a side show. [i know bloody well it won?t but i can but try].

Hello,

Im new to all this but been trying to conceive for 11 months....11 eggs and 11 disappointnents. How do you cope with this? Any advice or suggestions would be a great help

Happy new year! I'm joining joy in not making any wishes, I've done that in 11 and 12 and nothing.

I'm also joining in the back at work grump. I'm even thinking that I should look frwrd to the lap because I'll get time off work, that's how bad the post holiday blues are.

Joy, I'm excited for you, I really do think this might work for you. It sounds like the clinic are so thorough, it sounds a little complicated though. Are you on a standard short protocol or is it something different? Whats the course?

joy it sounds like a very intensive process, but you seem to be taking it all in your stride! On the NHS I was just told what dose to take and left to get on with it for 2 weeks!

My plan for the year ahead is natural IVF next cycle, then possible our spare IUI that we paid for last year, then two more natural IVF cycles over the next few months. We are planning to take several short holidays this year, after last year's long haul extravaganzas! We're thinking of maybe the Northern Lights for the first one, and then some trips to Italy and places like that, mostly as long weekends.

sj I'm sorry that you find yourself here. I found your stage really tough. Bizarrely after 18 months I started to find it easier most of the time (although the 2 yr anniversary has been hard). I got through the last year with a new hobby and some exotic holidays.

I'm on CD15 and I think I am about to ov from my left side. My temp was down this morning (although as I have been taking them at varied times over the Xmas break, they are not particularly reliable at the moment). My last chance before IVF.

I had a bit of a grump at Mr Euro last night. If that recent study is to be believed, as we are unexplained there is an 80% chance that there is a sperm DNA frag problem, but he is not the one spending hours on the internet researching it, and he can't even remember to take a bloody vitamin pill. So it is all on me now. I'm the one who has to have a needle shoved though my fanny, etc. I'm just a bit resentful.

Joycep, what is stimming, please?

Sorry for all the reluctant workers - bummer. I'm watching the Great British Bake-Off and marvelling at the BBC's inclusive policy

Welcome, Sj, I feel your pain, sister.

My plans for 2013 include IUI (x3?), then, if that fails and my DP is still smoking, I plan to take up my old hobby of dogging - this time with no condoms.

stimming=taking ovary stimulating drugs, to produce several eggs for IVF

Hello everyone, happy 2013! Wow so many posts to catch up on, I'm only able to use MN on my phone so keeping up is difficult.

Lemons - Sorry AF arrived.

Viv - it sounds like you've had a bumpy ride. But what the others have said is true, that is all in your past. You should be proud of yourself for getting through it.

Joy - glad things went well at the clinic, well done on getting things started. I think you're incredibly brave, as everyone on this thread is. All the best for the rest of the cycle, 'I'm willing it to go smoothly and successfully for you.

Rabbit - I'll drink to having no more family commitments! . I like all of your strategies and I am also addicted to goodreads. There's something about cataloging and making lists that brings out my inner nerd. And thanks for the yoga tips. I've just joined an online yoga network so I can do classes at home.

Welcome Thatsso, you've come to the right place. I've also been trying since dec 11, the year mark is tough, isn't it? I'm sure we will all get there eventually, my hook or by crook. Congratulations on the wedding though!

Welcome to SJ too! [waves]

Hi to Freedom. I think I would have slapped that insensitive hairdresser!

I'm on CD7 and not expecting shag week for at least another 10 days. It seems that no two of my cycles are the same and every month throws a different curve ball. Rabbit, I usually get really sore boobs pre AF too, except this month they weren't sore at all. Not even a tiny bit. I wish I knew if these things were significant or whether just to ignore.

My plan for 2013 is to start asking doctors questions about why this isn't happening for us. Everything after that has a huge question mark over it. I'm north of the border so doctors aren't open on the 2nd, i plan to be on the phone to them first thing tomorrow morning.

I'm off now to do some online yoga and try to get out of the 'must eat junk food all day' mindset.

2013 best wishes to everyone

Wow joy that sounds very involved. But impressed to getting mixing and injecting down to 15 minutes. Are you on menopur? I have been given gonal-f this round to see whether I get less side-effects and now the whole stabbing procedure takes about two minutes, so I like that side-effect of changing drugs. I have everything crossed for you this year.

Our plans for this year are one more SO IUI (over by the end of this month) then review with the clinic. Then a treatment break with a long-haul holiday :) and finishing the master course I've been doing for the past year and a half. After that possibly maybe IVF. But we're very much in two minds about that. I think I'll be debating that at length on here in February.

Sorry for the grump, euro. But the study sounds interesting (especially as SB's contribution can be a bit borderline sometimes) do you have a link? And how is the email-backlog processing going?

Welcome here sj. I hope your stay here is short and sweet. I wrote on here and on the "how do you stop TTC affecting your life" thread on my coping mechanisms. But it sucks, the big anniversaries are very difficult.

Good luck on yoga and getting some answers this year, naoko!

Waves to all of you, especially the lurkers for fab reasons (princess and co) or for a break (you know who you are!)

drizz this is a badly written news report relating to the test (hate the use of the word "blame") but it is the only one I can find now. I posted about it when I first saw it a couple of months ago. www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2232989/MEN-blame-cases-unexplained-infertility--new-test-help-couples-succeed.html

I've got rid of most of the junk email. I'm left with the 60-odd that I actually need to read now!

I can find this published paper on it:
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23246107
But it is a tiny study, so needs to be taken with a lot more salt than the DM seems to. But that is not all that surprising

Afternoon all

Can I join the general grump? I'm not into this back-to-work thing At All.

Joy well done on getting through your op without tears and congratulations on starting your IVF cycle. It sounds like they are monitoring you very closely indeed. Like Euro, my NHS experience was being handed a bag of drugs and told to come back in a fortnight. I hope you can manage to fit it around work. I found that the most stressful part of the process - I got used to injecting myself in public toilets in a variety of places (trains, conference centres, offices, restaurants...). You sound like you're taking it all in your stride.

Rabbit well done on the sewing machine and crafting! There'll be no stopping you now. i loved your list of strategies and think I need to revisit them to keep my mind off mentalling. No, it doesn't stop after a BFP. I realised that IVF and its aftermath have been the first thing on my mind every single day since mid-October and that can't be healthy. Good on you for abstaining from ttc talk. Womb Yoga has to be the most extreme-sounding woo I've ever encountered but surely it can't hurt so why not go for it

Gin at arguing over waterproofs. I hope you get to line up some January treats, that's essential to help with the back-to-work gloom.

Viv goodness me you've been through the mill. I think you should be immensely proud of how you have turned your life around. And voluntary work too... that's great and I'm sure will help provide an alternative focus. FWIW, on the testing question, I never had an AMH test. The clinic didn't require it. I had LH and FSH tested when I first went to the fertility clinic a year ago but no further tests since. I understand some consultants don't think AMH is useful so if funds are restricted it may not be worth expensive testing. Just a thought. And at the dogging plan. Hope nobody from the Daily Mail reads this thread, I can just see the headlines

Nao glad the relatives are gone! IMO the symptoms thing is one of the cruellest headfucks of ttc. There is just no way of knowing whether these things are significant or not but of course we can't help wondering. Getting the ball rolling with the doctors sounds like a good idea.

Euro several short holidays sound like a good plan. I have always wanted to see the Northern Lights. One day. FX for that ironic pre-IVF diff.

Lemon I'm really sorry this latest IUI didn't work. I'm still hopeful for you though - it has worked before, it can again. And a holiday to look forward to sounds great

Welcome Funny and sj, you'll find lots of help and support here

Freedom I'm glad the hairdresser has sorted you out a combover but at the well-meaning but unhelpful advice.

Madness good to see you and I'm sorry about the drug-induced meltdowns. It should get better when you start the stimming drugs. A code word sounds like a good idea!

Loves to Sar if you're reading and I'm thinking of you as the lap date approaches. Hope it brings some answers.

I had a scan this morning after working myself into a state of barely controlled panic that everything had gone wrong. In the last couple of days all the minimal symptoms I've had have disappeared - no more feeling dizzy; after a half-hearted attempt at expanding my boobs have gone back to normal size and not at all painful; and still no sign of any nausea or sickness. Like Viv I've been torturing myself with other threads, specifically the pregnancy ones in which excitable women compare vomiting, complain their boobs have gone up two cup sizes in a week and buy baby/maternity stuff in the sales at all of 8 weeks gone. Where do these people get their confidence? Couple the vanishing symptoms with brown spotting this morning and weird stabby lower abdominal pains and I had convinced myself I must have had an mmc and was prepared to hear the worst. So it was a welcome shock to see a blob about 2cm long with a heartbeat. Yet for some reason I don't feel reassured. The nurse (who also seemed grumpy about being back at work) didn't offer any opinion on what might be causing the spotting, just said that there is nothing they could do about it but "at the moment" things look OK. I am discharged from the unit now and feel a bit adrift as I'm still worried, but I have a midwife appt next week so I just have to hope it subsides of its own accord and try to keep the faith that everything will be OK. One day at a time etc.

And breathe. I'm meant to be working but predictably have done nothing useful so far today. I'm going to make an attempt to tidy my desk (no mean feat) and clean my office, which means finding the floor... Tomorrow I'm on a 7am train for a meeting in That London about a new project, can't wait for the alarm to go off at 5.30... still, it could be worse. At least I don't have to stick probes up other people's fanjos first thing in the morning

Waves to everyone I've missed. How are Critter and Akuaba - still in the UK or heading back home?

Happy New Year. Just a quick post because we are packing up the house and I am already behind. We are at that lovely phase of shite everywhere and being unable to walk in a straightline round the house without stubbing toes and knocking legs.

Sorry for not catching up properly but just wanted to say that I am glad that your op went okay joy I hope that you are feeling better.

Sperm fragmentation sounds interesting and worrying in equal measure! MrP refuses to take his vits regularly and would happily drink like a fish if I let him. He seems to think that I make up how easily sperm is affected by lifestyle.

lemons I am sorry about the test. That is a bummer. What next for you?

gin it made me smile at the thought of you being just up the road (if you were where I think you were walking...sounds like a Simpsons place name?) It's funny that we could have bumped into eachother and not realised!

Sorry about the New Year back to work grumps and general malaise. I hate NY anyway but am particularly feeling it this time and feel genuinely afraid of the new year and what it might bring or not bring. I can't believe that 2012 was another duff year in the baby stakes too and feel a bit sad.

Hello and welcome Viv and SJ I am sorry that you find yourselves here.

Love and waves to everyone rabbits, mrsd , euro, madness, freedom , buzzy , naokosan, art , princess , cosmos , critter

I have my first IVF appointment tomorrow and am shitting it. My legs keep shaking and I threw up yesterday with the nerves. What a wally

x-posted art I am sorry that you are so worried. A heartbeat is the main thing though. As well as the threads and posts you mention about symptoms you also read loads of posts about ladies who had spotting all the way through their pregnancies. Please stop panicking, you and the bean will be fine

Pout, a special happy new year and massive good luck for tomorrow for you. So pleased to see you, even if you are upto your neck into packing, moving and throwing up out of nerves for the appointment. Did you find somewhere to move to?

And breath arte. I totally know what you mean about the worrying not ending with the BFP. But you have a bean, with a functional heart, and you are discharged from the IVF unit. A massive step. Feeling nervous is normal, and feeling very nervous after going through AC in all its forms is extremely normal. You're doing really well. One step at a time, no worries about disappearing symptoms and have fun in the big smoke tomorrow!

Drizz there was more about the study at the time. I don't think it is the one you found. I see to remember it was from a group of Brighton-based scientists and they had patented a new DNA frag test that had a silly name. That is all I can remember though. I don't want to google about sperm from work but I will try to remember to later and see if I can find it.

pout I'm feeling a bit better now that we are in 2013! I found NY really, really hard. Good luck with the move!

Art a 2cm bean - woo hoo! I know it can't be easy to stop worrying but right now all is well. :)

I can google it myself, euro. Working from home has its advantages (besides sleeping in!) I shall try a little more later. But I am not allowed too much IF search time in 2013, as it will make me miserable.!

SJ ? welcome, i was beside myself after 11 months so totally understand. Euro has good advice. But you must remember you are well with the norms of normal and we have had people on here who conceived after 19months naturally. Have you had any investigations?

Mrsden ? i?m negative and a pessimist and the clinic is thorough and very good but i can?t believe for a second i will be one of the lucky 57% who ends up giving birth after a cycle there. That would just seem too good to be true. We are even told to be positive but I don?t have the nerve to be. I?m taking every day as it comes and will see how my ovaries fare with treatment. I?m on the flare protocol. I have no idea what this is but it just says on my piece of paper it is for older women or people who don?t respond well to treatment, i.e. low ovarian reserve. When do you find out about your lap date?

Euro ? can?t you get MrE along to andrology solutions for a quick sperm frag test? It will at least tell you if there is an issue or put your mind at rest before IUI / ivf. Men are crap when it comes to doing things. I?ve given up on getting Roy to take vitamins and I am not sure they were doing much.

Naoko ? it?s good to get some basic blood tests done by your GP and to get a referral to a consultant as well. I?ve found GPs know bugger all about fertility. I forget how long have you been trying?

Lemon ? i?m on Merional, Fostimon and Cetronide. They sound pretty poisionous don?t they?! I did gonal F with my IUI and I was fine on it so i hope you don?t have any side effects. I think the key is to drink water with treatment to keep your body balanced. ..or so i have been told. Ooh a long haul holiday sounds great.

Art ? god this is a truly awful wait for you but a heartbeat is bloody good news and v v v positive. it must be very distressing to be getting brown spotting and pains but this also can be totally normal. Don?t forget that most people don?t get morning sickness. My old boss had huge bleeds and then brown spotting around the 9wk mark and it was all totally fine even though she had convinced herself it wasn?t. It sounds torturous especially because of the journey you have been through to date. But so far so good. Stay away from those ghastly pregnancy threads, it?s not good to compare notes with others.

Pout ? oh you?re moving. Good luck with that. And best of luck with your ivf appt tomorrow. It will be fine. Sorry to hear you are so nervous about it. It?s best just to get these things going. I think i find ivf nerveracking because i feel like it?s last chance saloon. If this can?t get me pregnant , nothing can and having to face that prospect is hard. But then again, it could be the key to everything so it?s difficult to avoid. I think you?ll feel better that you are actually doing something though rather than the wondering and waiting every single month.

Goodness, you lot seem organised with all that stuff. I wouldn't know where to start with all these medical things. We are still trying "natural" conception and despite it having been a year, I'm not too worried, yet, Nao. We had lots of little breaks last year, because I changed jobs last summer. Not a great idea to get pregnant straight away, when they've brought you in to troubleshoot,...not to cause trouble... Wouldn't have minded, but meant we probably didn't try as hard.
DP has told me to relax, so I'm trying. But I'm a rather impatient person and don't like it when things don't go the way I plan. He's not terribly emotional at the best of times. However, he came back from town with a baby name book today.

Madness I'm not sure I'm much of a "bride" to talk to. We'll be having a very small family wedding (25 people) - abroad. The last two weddings I went to were quite posh and elaborate, with lots of sitting around...and me taking the little ones (nephews) off for a walk and a run around. I want ours to just be relaxed and more like a family party, with us getting married at the same time. We might even have a bouncy castle, and there's a little stream that the kids can play in. It's likely to be about 30+ degrees in August anyway.

Feel sorry for all the people, who are off to work already. I'm officially going back on Monday, but I'm going in tomorrow to get some stuff sorted.