Deck your halls & dress your trees, the BESH are gifting BFPs

[WinklyVersusTheZombies]

Doff your top hats, lean on your canes, 'tis a Victorian Christmas for the BESH. Baste those turkeys in Victoria & Albert style, and maintain a stiff upper lip when you fill in the BESHtionnaire to see if you are cynical stoic enough to win a Baybee.

My fist is looking for a kidney to punch.

Again, just saying.

Rie I used to get plentiful and delightful pant snot once a month. And then it stopped. I was about 7/8 cycles into ttc at the time. I put it down to stress or the change in supplements. But to my joy (?) when I had a colposcopy that happened to fall mid cycle, my cervix, foot wide on the screen, was like a pant snot production factory, pumping it out (it was actually slightly embarrassing with the male gynae peering up my fanjo, it was like wearing a flashing neon sign saying "I am fertile, take me now"), although none of it was noticeable like before. V odd.

My prodding ovary is really quite hurty

Speaking of colposcopies, I have just had a smear test reminder. I have them more frequently because of previous bad results and treatment. My results have been clear for the past three years. The ivf clinic won't do anything if I have a bad smear result outstanding. Am I right in thinking tat the best thing to do is ignore this request until after ivf? Just in case it is bad and I lose the ivf round.

Hurty how, RietaMeterMaid?

How long since the last one, Norf? And was everything ok with it?

Hurty like dead sore proddings. Normally I get ten minutes of it around ov, rather than two days.

Norf that's what I'm doing. I got my bad result during my fucked up IVF cycle and it almost pushed over the edge. I coudnt hack it if it happened again.

Rie I get several days of dull ov pain. I seem to be getting more and more the longer I ttc. It would be normal for me. Perhaps you are laying an extra special egg this month? (Or maybe two?)

Ooh maybe. Maybe we should SWI again

Lie back and think of England Rie

I don't think I get ov pain. Last cycle (with drucks) I'm pretty sure I felt the follicles growing - bubbling and popping sensations, but I've never been able to tie up any pains/sensations with ov.

Dunno if he's up for it tbh. No wonder I never get diffed.

Can you not put on your best pants and seduce him?

To be fair, I feel your pain. Not your prodding pain, I don't appear to get ovulation pains, but your 'he's not up for it' pain. Droid is finishing and we need to get shagging in the next few days, so we'll see how successful the therapy has been.

I HATE trying to get them interested in having a shag when you're feeling so despondent. In fact, I hate all of this shit we go through to try & have a baby. It's Really Difficult. Meh.

I took HWCA to bed specifically for Not Sex today, to try to get him horny and frustrated in advance of the coming week

Jeff it's horrible isn't it. The whole bloody thing. Living life in chunks of 1 week - 1 week - 2 weeks (droid - shag - wait) over and over and over again.

We have only managed it twice this month. It just feels so boring. And I just feel ugly and unwomanly because I can't conceive.

Oh rie :(

I wish I could hug you now. You are NOT ugly and unwomanly.

I hear you Rie. When I was doing the stabbing earlier I thought, WHY the fuck can I not just get pregnant normally like most other people. I have invested so much time in TTC & most of the time am pretty stoic about the whole thing but not today. I'm pissed off.

You are quite categorically not ugly, rie. I have seen your Facebook photos and you are most enviably slender and red gold and generally lovely looking. It is very unfair that the way we feel about ourselves often bears no relation to the reality of how we actually have a right to feel (ie very attractive indeed).

I HATE having to encourage sechs when I don't particularly feel like it myself. Why do we have to have the burden of remembering it needs to happen, and asking for it and so on? It would be so so much easier to just lie back unenthusiastically but receptively for 90 seconds then get back to our books.

jethro, how is the stabbing going, lovely?

I tried the lying back thing the other eve. It lasted faaaaaaaaar too long

Thank you for your kind words BESHes xxx

Oh God, yes. And then you have the strain of trying to conceal the imminent expression of utter boredom. Poor rie.

the strain of trying to conceal the imminent expression of utter boredom is the reason doggy style was invented, no?

HOTB and I have just watched The Thing. At least we're just barren, not trapped in the Antarctic turning into an alien and on fire?

I am baffled by the whole infertility thing. I just don't understand why it's not happening for us - I keep a record of the sechs on futility friend (because I'm dead boring) and really I ought to be diffed or leaking jizz out of my ears by now.

Mind you, my temps have been making no sense this cycle, I very much doubt that I've ovulated at all. Tomorrow I shall be ringing the GP, I have to go see her regarding my pre-Christmas scan results. I really should have gone this week, but never mind. I'm expecting a referral to the gynaecologist and possibly the IVF referral as well, but we shall see, they might hold off on that until they know what the hell my ovaries are playing at.