Assisted Conceptions (and all the bits in-between) Volume 11

[vallinnapod]

I really hope I haven't missed someone else starting this!

sunny congrats on ET, and with mr t himself, how lovely. I have fingers and toes crossed for you - and I've told bump to do the same with his fingers and toes! Definitely a week in the couch and then see ow you go. With a hatching blast implant is win 24 hours so first bit is important. We had one hatching and one not so I have very good feeling for you. I assume you are on the horrible six hour drug regime? I used to put mine in a bowl at the side of the bed so could take without truly waking up - not much fun but worth it!

Not much to report here. Bump is growing by the day it seems (not enough for anyone to give me a seat on the train or anything though) and counting down weeks until our 20w scan which is 6th feb. should find out sex for certain then I hope. And then we are off on a little 'babymoon' to California. Cannot wait!

Hope everyone is well and staying safe in the snow, especially the ladies with bumps. Never worth risking a fall.

DSB

Xx

Sunny everything but everything is crossed for you my dear. Try to relax (easier said than done) and let your little embies do their thing.

Hugs to Lucky and Bugsy after tough times.

DSB

Mini- always great to hear your bump updates. Not long now till you find out if team pink or team blue. And your Californian babymoon sounds like bliss. Especially with all of this snow. Thanks so much for your good vibes. Everything has gone as well as it can have done so now it's just a waiting game. Yes I'm on the 6 hourly pills, fun aren't they. Those combined with my already weird sleeping patterns and increased hunger (currently awake and starving last few days at 3am!) which I suspect is from the steroids is just loads of fun. But not complaining and hopefully it'll all be worth it!

Welcome back luckystar I really hope 2013 is your year. Sounds like you have a great consultant and a great team around you all doing their best for you.

Vanilla - so sorry to hear about your cycle being cancelled. We build ourselves up so much for each stage don't we so I don't blame you at all for feeling disappointed. Take care.

Pocket - yay for bump's growth spurt and I'm glad your family are spoiling you. You totally deserve it.

Bugsy - good to hear from you old friend. I hope you are doing well.

Welcome back Monkey. Italian thanks for looking in on me - hope you are doing well and your adoption journey is progressing. Big hugs to Hoops, Ginger, Vivienne, Beginning, Frosticle, Highlove, Badger, Scrummy, the cat, Weller and sorry for anyone else I've left off!

Sunny - can I ask did you have a paid/free consultation with ARGC? If so how long did the appt take to come through?

I've always been aware of how successful their cycles are - usually taking on complex cases and older clients. We are 34 and 35 but complex in the way of the unexplained sperm factor. We are thinking of having a consultation - do you know the costs and were try very insightful at this first consultation?

Thanks sunny

Vallinna I'm so sorry your cycle has been cancelled however I think it helps to feel the confidence that you've got off to a really good start and hopefully another month will give you that.

sunnyg - Mr T himself -wow!! EVERYTHING is pointing in the right direction, honey and you have EVERY reason to believe this will work. How wonderful!! Relax, take it easy and expect the best. Going back to work will help to distract you and is a great idea for your sanity! Hey, maybe you'll feel the embryo(s) implanting!!

Lucky - I went to CRM clinic for egg donation but they also manage a lot of cases requiring sperm donation. They use a sperm donor bank in the US called Xytex.

MiniH -babymoon in California? What fun!! And perfect time to go.

Sunny good to hear you've got the embies on board, I've got everything crossed for you on the 2ww.

Mini whereabouts in CA are you off to? I love it there. We did a bit of a tour for the second time just before my cycle last year. Would love to go again soon but suspect it will now be some years before I brave such a long flight with Molly in tow!

Vanilla sorry to hear your cycle's been cancelled, how frustrating. I hope you can restart soon.

Waves to everyone else.

badger how is Molly doing? How many weeks is she? We are doing outskirts of LA and San Diego this time as did Northern California and LA central a few years ago.

sunny ah yes the sleeping patterns. Bad news is they may not ever recover - I've had two nights full sleep since EC as first was the nightly meds getting me up, then the steroids gave me insomnia and now I think it's just a combination of difficult sleeping positions and body used to it. But 3am fridge raids are good fun

[lucky] I'm an Argc grad too. Initial consultation is £200 with SA from memory. It is all on their website. Costs will vary but around £10- 12k to point of pregnancy test is about the minimum I would say, and friend of mine spent closer to £16k. Even after that costs continue as they monitor you up to 34w.

Hey to everyone else reading. Xx

Thanks Minih and frosticle (does anyone know how to include names when on an iPhone?) wow 16k I thought we'd reached our peak with 13k in the last round.

Very confused today - we are really caught between still investigating further into hubby's sperm - he had TESA and it didn't defrost well at all, but we haven't tried blind collection on the day of collection. We do know that the sperm was viable when extracted by TESA and the test thaw still showed ok results. BUT we just keep feeling with 4 failed cycles behind us is the sperm genetics just too great and this we will never really know!
Our best chance is using young sperm from the testicals so blind collection is the only option we haven't tried.

Such waves of emotions with all of this, second period started today since failed cycle and boy do my emotions feel all over the shop! There seems far less information and stories about sperm factor cases and the journeys experienced by those prior to using a sperm donor or how they narrowly escaped this route.

We start some counselling tomorrow to prep us for donor sperm and for the first time in 18mths/4 cycles I really feel I need it :-(

Hi lucky I think mini has given you the main ideas of the costs of ARGC but definitely feel free to pm if you'd like further info. Happy to give you a break down of our costs to date. It is as expensive as you've heard/think but no matter of the outcome of this current cycle I now understand why they charge what they do. The attention to detail and the indivisualised treatment is second to none. I sent a massive pile of previous treatment notes in before our iniital consultation so that they could be read before our consultation. I also went into our initital consultation with a pretty specific list of questions and I researched, and researched and researched before taking the plunge. They seem to deal with a massive range of women and cases and some of which I think are extremely complicated, so if you can I think I'd definitely go for a consultation.

All going fine here on the bench, but it's hard for the doubt not to creep in. Athough I think that's just part and parcel of the dreaded 2 week wait. Never gets any better. But chin up and being positive as possible. Things have gone as well as they can this cycle, so I have no reason to doubt it may have worked.

I was in yesterday for post ET progesterone bloods and apparently my progesterone is quite high. Was assured this isn't a bad thing, but was a concerned when Mr T halved my pessary intake. Makes me a little nervous as last time I miscarried at 7 weeks, but just gotta trust in Mr T. So back in tomorrow for more bloods. Definitely no rest for the weary after ET!!

thanks so much for all of your good vibes ladies, it really helps! oxo

Sunny, how many days past transfer are you? I do not know how you cope with the 2ww but sending lots of luck.

Hi Vivienne tomorrow i will be only 4days past transfer. So still a way to go! Today has gone a bit faster as I've given myself lots of little boring tasks to do such as sorting out the car insurance renewal. I know wild! The things we'll do to pass the time. On tomorrow's agenda is sorting out clothes and cupboards! Thankfully I am back to work on Monday!

ox

Thanks sunny - I can't PM on my iPhone but I shall do once I get onto the laptop - that's great. We are having really mixed feelings about spending more money having investigations which can not really be conclusive about the sperm factor. TBH if we have belief that it could work then we might be better to just spend the money on the blind collection on the day of egg collection and hae a donor back up - but the thought of going for the cycle not knowing until the very end which sperm in being used is a situation we'd really hoped to have avoided. Mentally I think you need to to be so prepared for the donor route and this leaves everything open and very raw right up to the day. Especially at a time where you're hoping to be calm and relaxed - god I really hate the Ivf journey right now :-(

Sunny, do you have any great books you can escape into? If you want some recommendations please ask...I'm a book fiend.

Lucky, I can feel your angst through your post, poor thing. Can you explain 'blind collection' to me, please?

Lucky I am a bit astounded at the £13-16k price tag of a round of treatment with Mr T! Is that the norm?? I had some idea of the costs as I had a monitoring cycle there (results all good - but the following month, when we planned to start, my FSH had rocketed so, sadly, it was game over for my own eggs). I knew it was expensive but not THAT expensive!! I think there are plenty of things you can chose not to have (we decided not to have immunes testing, for example) but when you've already been through the loop a number of times already, who wants to take that chance?

The acupuncturist I saw at London Acupuncture (where they specialise in fertility) told me that whilst Mr T undeniably gets amazing results, she's observed that there are a number of other up-and-coming smaller clinics that are also getting fab results, comparing well with ARGC. She said she wasn't convinced that the hefty price tag with Mr T is now entirely justified. It might be worth shopping around but I would probably still go for an initial consultation and see if ARGC have any new ideas.

Re donor sperm, I believe it costs around £1k to buy the sperm from the US, get it shipped over, defrosted and ready to go. I completely understand how desperately you must want to use your DH's sperm but if the worst comes to the worst and you have to use a donor, you will adjust to it mentally. I have come to terms with using a donor egg - I'm maybe a little sad about it but overwhelmingly grateful that it was an option. There are some great advantages - donors are well screened so genetically your child has the best chance of being healthy!! There wasn't much info available re my egg donor but if you do end up getting sperm from somewhere like the US the choice and amount of info available about the donors is vast!!

sunny - hang in there on the 2ww. It really isn't that long now! I'm SOO excited for you!

Happy weekend to everyone!!

F
x

Is there no available donor sperm in this country??

I used donor sperm from the uk, I can't remember how much it cost I thing about £1000 for sperm? I had a choice of two donors was told hair and eye colour, height and professions, once baby is 18 they can get more information about donor, including last know address. Each donor can have a set amount of 'families' (I think it's 8 or 10) so once a donor has been successful that many times they can not be used again however they can have more than one child in each family. (If that makes sense)
I am in shock at the cost of ARGC! Wow! My cycle was about £6000 including donor sperm! Still if the results are that good I can see the attraction.
I have another scan on mon so will report back on my well spent £6k :-) lol
Hope you all have a good weekend and miss out on the snow x

Sunny fab news about the 2 fab embies you had put back! I hope the two week wait now flies for you and you get your BFP soon! A good bit of rest and DVD distraction should help, but agree with your thinking that going back to work may also help to distract you, especially as you mentioned you get on well with your colleagues and have a laugh with them - a great stress reliever.

Beginning I hope all goes well with your scan on Mon.

Lucky It sounds like you are having a rather rough time of it right now, deciding on whether to go for blind collection, and donor sperm. Did you have your counselling session? Did it help atall? It really is an uphill struggle sometimes, this process. However, we have had so many success stories recently that it must be worth it!

Vallina sorry to hear your cycle had to be cancelled, how frustrating! Try to stay strong if you can. Hugs.

Mini how exciting that you are nearly at your 20 week scan!! Enjoy that "Babymoon" too, it sounds wonderful!

Hey Bugsy, good to hear from you. Hope you are ok. I like the sound of flexercise classes!

Pocket lovely to hear of your ever growing bump and attentive family. So excited for you!

Hello to Highlove, Vivienne, Hoops, Badger, Frostie, Italian and all other lovely ladies I may have forgotten.

I have my appointment with the consultant on Tues to discuss our results and hopefully make a plan for the FET cycle. I am both excited and very fearful of how it will go. I am hoping they have found something wrong which can be put right after 8 years of "unexplained infertility"!

DSB

Hi all

Hope you've had a good weekend and those sitting on the bench have been occupied :-) not too long to wait now!

Thanks for the info about ARGC - we have emailed and asked a load of questions in order to consider if a consultation seems like a good idea.

Viviene ww - Blind collection - I'm referring to TESA here - using a needle they extract the youngest sperm from the testes (less chance of damage) my hubby has already had TESE which collects from exactly the same place but through open surgical proceadure - they had a good appearance when collected but hadn't survived the thaw on the day of egg collection. Hence now to consider if collection on the day offers a better chance!

Gingernutdreams - thanks for your thoughts bless you, it is pretty tough right now, we just really don't know whether to try again with my hubby's sperm - we can't face the thought of further failure however equally we so don't want to miss our opportunity to have our biological baby when no one can catergorcially tell us it's not possible. It would be south easier if we have closure! Typically the counselling session was delayed last week, so rescheduled until this Tuesday. Wed really love to be in touch with other couples who had the decision to make without confirmed closure. Increasingly we are feeling the way forward is to give it a further shot by defrosting our frozen sleep, then using TESA if that dosent defrost and finally using donor sperm on that same day if the first two are no gos.

Just so daunted knowing that without these complications the odds for ob success are still so low any anyhow. Really trying not to loose faith in the whole thing, what keeps us here is knowing there is no alternative to help us reach our dream.

Right I intend to not post long posts about me now! Time for me to offer support and helpful words to others! Thanks to everyone on this thread for sharing their feelings. It helps knowing others are having to keep strong too xx

Hi all, hope everyone had a fun weekend. Been a tricky few days here - two family members have had babies, a very good friend is overdue and reminding everyone every three seconds and another unplanned announcement at work have sent me into a bit of a spin. Better today after a bit of hysterical sobbing on/at DH yesterday. It doesn't get easier does it?

Anyway, enough me. Sunny I guess OTD will be end of this week. How are you feeling? Like everyone, I have everything crossed that this is your time. Hell, you've had the famous Mr T's personal intervention - how can it not be?! Seriously, I really am hoping for brilliant news for you very soon.

Lucky hope you are doing ok? Sorry I can't offer much specific advice as have no experience of tge TESA Vs donor issue, but I can totally sympathise with how overwhelming all the decisions become, and you do sound a bit overwhelmed. I hope tomorrow's counselling is helpful.

Ginger hope tomorrow's appt goes well and you really start to get some answers. And fingers crossed you you don't have too long to wait for your FET. Would be great to be cycle buddies but I've another 5ish weeks till I start D/R so hoping that actually you don't have to wait that long. Let us know how you go.

MiniH I'm mega jealous of your baby moon - sounds awesome.

Pocket hope your lovely bump is coming along nicely.

Viv hope you and OH are doing ok.

Waves to everyone else. Don't stop believing - need to remind myself of that a lot at the moment.

Hugs highlove. I keep thinking I am not bothered about other people....and then....stupid things send my over. Like a pregnant Mum and softplay today. I got stupidly

Hope everyone else is OK.

Finally taken my last Provera at lunchtime so now waiting to get my period - I guess Wednesday. Then back for a baseline scan and straight to patches.

Still don't know if I want to go through it. Can't get myself excited about it and then...well, see the first paragraph.

Have given up on acupuncture as it made no difference last time.

Sorry...bit :( I guess. I am will be back when I cheer up ;)

PS - sending zooming 2WW vibes :)

Just back from scan all seemed to be good, consultant flipped over to 4d which is very strange to see.

Vanilla and high love my friend told me she was going to start trying about the time I was going to start IVF I was really worried about how I would cope if mine didn't work and she got pregnant, we are not both expecting so very exciting. I've now got the opposite problem that my cousin has just lost a baby and they were due a similar time as me, so don't like to go on too much about mine. Fingers crossed it works for you soon.
Sunny keep thinking about you hope all is good!
Hope everyone is good xxx

ginger and lucky best wishes to both of you for tomorrow!

F
x

Luckystar it is so much to think about, and decide on, and is frustrating when the odds seem stacked against you. I really hope the counselling can help you and give you both the strength you need. All the best of luck with it all.

Vall and Higlove I share your jealous feelings about family members/friends who are having babies, as ashamed as that makes me feel.. I hope someday that our own dreams come true and we can then feel pure happiness for our friends and relatives rather than the tinges of sadness we feel now. Hugs to you both.

Beginnings despite what I have just said, I am really happy to hear from all you AC pregnant ladies, and glad your scan went well! How exciting to have a 4D scan!

Sunny thinking of you.. hope the nerves are ok, and you are keeping yourself well distracted.

We had our appointment today. It was very frustrating and disappointing. We only had level 1 of the immune tests done as we had decided we couldn't afford to do both those and Level 2 (the Chicago tests) at the same time, and we would just see what results we got back for the first level. Unfortunately, all the results from those test came back negative, except for one gene mutation of the MTHFR gene which means I am deficient in Folic Acid so would need a higher dose of that for our FET. However, as none of the other tests showed a positive, we still do not know what my problem is: why implantation is not happening. The consultant advised us to progress to Level 2 tests to check my NK levels and some other things (not read it all through yet) so it looks like we have to decide if we can afford to do this, and then potentially have to find more money after the tests for all the medication that goes along with the FET. The consultant also recommended an endometrial scratch before the FET cycle and putting me on clexane for the cycle. I don't want to skip the Level 2 tests in case it does throw up something, and we finally get some answers but the costs seem to be going up and up every time and I am terrified of spending all that money and then it still not working... but I know I mustn't think like that! Repeat: DSB DSB DSB

Sorry for me, me, me post.

xx

sorry for not name checking but quick post from me at work.

Tomorrow is OTD. Have had a few wobbly days, as we all do, but being back at work has helped. I guess I'm hoping for the best but prepared (as you can be) for the worst. I really can't think of how this cycle could have gone better - in our eyes anyway. But I know that even with all of that, and even with ARGC there are no guarantees.

We'll see what tomorrow brings! Wish me luck, and thanks heaps for all of your encouragement and support! oxo

Good luck sunny I have everything crossed for you. Xxx